by KT Webb
“What time of day is it?”
I looked up at the sky. The bright pink, orange, and yellow hues seemed to mix and move. “It’s daytime. The stars are out.”
“You can see the stars during the day?”
I nodded. “Of course.”
“Let’s change focus a bit, I want you to imagine a door. On the other side of this door will be a painful memory. I want you to think of your parents’ death and let it wait for you on the other side.”
I furrowed my brow. I didn’t want to think about that. They died, that was all I needed to know. “No. I don’t want to.”
“You must, I believe it will help you.”
I took a deep breath and focused on creating a door. It appeared to build itself from the ground up, starting with the frame and ending with the arched top. Hesitation slowed my step as I began walking toward the door. I still clung to my father as though I could take him with me to face the unknown, but as soon as I opened the door, his hand was ripped from my grasp and everything went black. I started to panic until another face appeared next to me.
“Taeren.”
“Tell me about Taeren.”
“I don’t know. I think he was my friend. He was supposed to protect me.” I examined the young man in front of me, he had turned to look at something else and was blocking me from viewing it.
“We need to find your parents.”
“I can’t he’s in the way. He’s supposed to protect me.”
“You need to see past him.”
I strode to the soldier who was not much older than I was and peered around his broad frame. I didn’t know what I’d expected to find, but what I saw didn’t feel right to me. My parent bodies lay broken and bloody on the ground.
“They’re dead.” I cried as I squeezed my hand on the arm I was clutching.
“How did they die? Did you see?”
I shook my head. “No. They’re just dead. There’s blood everywhere and they don’t look normal. Their bodies are twisted and broken.”
“Okay, I think that’s enough for today. I’m going to count to five, and when I finish, you will wake up and be able to remember what you saw.”
“One.”
Taeren was pulling me away from the scene.
“Two.”
I tried to keep up with my protector as he rushed in the opposite direction.
“Three.”
My heart rate accelerated as I lost sight of Taeren.
“Four.”
Everything around me began to fade into nothingness.
“Five.”
I was fighting against the tears forming in my eyes. I still held Dr. Larkin’s arm, his kind eyes regarded me with curiosity. When I released his arm, white outlines marked the presence of my fingers and tiny red crescents left evidence of my nails digging into his skin. I sat up on the couch and looked around the room. Nothing had changed since I’d laid down, but inside my head, things were very different. I was more confused than ever about who I was and how I came to be in this cold and strange place. So many details were missing, but I knew my life had been something extraordinary.
“How are you feeling?” Dr. Larkin shocked me from my reverie.
“I’m fine.”
“I’m going to ask you a few questions, then we’ll be done for the day.”
I nodded my consent and waited for his questions to begin. There was no way I would be able to give him answers to things I didn’t understand myself, but I would do my best.
“Tell me about the sky. You said it was day time but you could see the stars.”
“Yes. Night is completely dark, there is no light in the sky during the night.”
“I think you must be confused. At night, the stars are visible, so is the moon. During the day, you can see the sun.” Dr. Larkin said this slowly as though explaining something to a child or simple-minded person.
I shrugged. “I don’t know what those words mean.”
The doctor stood and went to the window. He pulled back the curtains, letting the light from outside pour into his office. With a gesture of his arm, he insisted that I come and look outside. I was irritated, but didn’t dare show him that for fear of another injection meant to calm me. When I got to the window, I narrowed my eyes against the overwhelming light.
The sky was blue. There were white fluffy things floating in the sky and something bright shining down from high above. I shook my head, trying to reconcile what I’d seen in my memories with what I was staring at in that moment.
“That, is the sun.” He gestured toward the intense pinpoint of light. I peered at it, trying to get a closer look. “Well, don’t look right at it, that can hurt your eyes.”
When I looked away, an angry red ball followed my vision wherever I looked, as though it had been burned into my eyes. I turned to look at the white puffs of smoke that hung in the air with no visible source of fire, other than the sun.
“What are those?” I pointed.
Dr. Larkin quickly turned a chuckle into a cough before he answered. “Those are clouds. Here, let’s sit down again.”
“I don’t remember the sky looking like that.” I told him, biting my lip.
“I have a feeling you didn’t get out much when you were a little girl. I don’t know that you saw the sky enough to recall what it looks like.”
Dr. Larkin seemed to know more about me than I did. I waited for him to continue with his explanation or to ask another question, but he didn’t say anything. He stared at me for an uncomfortable amount of time before scribbling on his strange gray rectangle.
“You said Taeren was your protector. How long did you know him before your parents died?”
I thought for a moment. “We met when we were children.”
He wrote something down and furrowed his prominent brow. “You seem to remember him so clearly, it makes sense that you were childhood friends.”
“We played together a lot when we were younger. I don’t remember why, but he came to my family that day and was supposed to keep me safe.”
“Interesting.” He scribbled again.
“Are we done? I’m tired.”
He nodded, clearly preoccupied. “Yes, we’ll take a break tomorrow. You’ll resume ECT the following day.”
I made my way to the door, pausing before I opened it. With my hand on the lever, I glanced back at the doctor. He pursed his lips, completely lost in thought. As I tugged the door open, I tried to remember my father’s face, but only managed to recall his eyes. I quietly closed the door behind me as a single tear ran down my cheek.
Under the cover of darkness, the Knights and I made the journey from the Western Wood to the Rionian Forest. We shut ourselves in Godfrey Tower as we prepared to leave Riona. From my window, I could see the ruined remnants of the portal. It was the last thing I saw every night, and the first thing I looked at every morning. The constant reminder that I’d failed was necessary for my continued focus. The pouch around my neck continued to vibrate intensely; I removed the amulet and held it in my hand. It felt warm against my skin.
I could practically feel it pulling me toward the spot where Delia disappeared years ago. The darkness of night had slowly given way to the speckled morning sky. The day had finally arrived to use the Bloodstone to search for the lost princess, and I was struggling to face my men.
There was no way to guarantee them that we would return to find Riona in the same state we left it in, or that we would be able to return at all. As it was, I didn’t know how many of them would show up to go on the mission. Part of me wanted to order them to rush through the portal, but I knew it wouldn’t do any good to have men along that weren’t invested in the journey.
By the time I finally got myself out of bed, I made the decision that no matter what, I would walk through that portal with my head held high. I wasn’t going into battle, I was going on an adventure. I’d read everything available about Earth, so I knew the terrain wasn’t necessarily dangerous and the people were c
ivilized. I also knew they were suspicious of anything or anyone that is different from them. My primary goal was to blend in during my search; if I didn’t blend in, I ran the risk of failing before I even began. We didn’t know how long it would take, so we had to be committed to spending an indeterminate amount of time in a strange world.
Lonzo was the first to arrive, followed closely by Tilda. She wouldn’t be joining us, but she wanted to see us off, and undoubtedly wanted to see how many of our men were brave enough to face the unknown.
“Are we still going if it’s just the two of us?” Lonzo asked under his breath.
“I would still be going if it were only me,” I replied as I met his gaze.
A firm nod from the knight told me he accepted and approved of my response. To my surprise, we didn’t have to wait long before others began to arrive. In total, we ended up with five Knights of Riona and four soldiers. Tilda surprised us all with a farewell speech meant only for us.
“While it would be easy to say I am disappointed in the poor turn-out from the Rionian army, I am proud to see so many brave men before me. Before you embark on your journey, I wish to honor the four soldiers who didn’t have to come, but chose to anyway.”
She came over to me and requested my sword. While I was confused, I was happy to oblige as I wouldn’t have need of it on Earth.
“Please come forward and kneel.”
The four men did as they were told. They ranged in age from mid-twenties to close to fifty; all of them were old enough to have been in the Royal Guard before the Gorum Invasion. I couldn’t recall their names, but I recognized their faces.
“State your name when I stand in front of you.” She moved to position herself in front of the eldest of the four.
“Harmon.” His response was barely above a whisper.
“From henceforth, by the power vested in me as Chancellor of Riona, I declare you Sir Harmon, Knight of Riona.”
My heart swelled with pride. I felt my fellow Knights straighten to attention as they honored the men who would now join our ranks. When all was said and done, we added Harmon, Philo, Gerrit and Rafe to our number as Knights of Riona. The men were stoic as they received their knighthood, but it was evident they were elated. Becoming a Knight wasn’t something to take lightly, and it wasn’t an honor that was given to just anyone.
“Now, I leave you in the capable hands of your Commander, Sir Taeren. He has done extensive reading about Earth and knows more than anyone alive about the world you’re about to see. Stay vigilant, stay strong, and above all else, bring our princess back home.”
With that, Tilda backed away to allow me to take the lead. I surveyed the band of Knights with pride. If we succeeded, that moment would forever be known in history books. If we failed, these men would be the only living souls I knew in a strange world.
“Congratulations are in order for our new Knights. Unfortunately, we don’t have time for a proper celebration as we must not delay our departure any longer. It is time to open the portal and go in search of our future queen. Today, we will make history; today, we will save Riona!”
Cheers erupted from the small group. I took the amulet from the pouch around my neck. The remnants of the archway stood haphazardly on the mound in the center of a pond. If I used my imagination, I could still see the arched stone outline of an empty doorway that once held the passageway from our world to Earth. With a final glance at Tilda, I held the Bloodstone in the air. The vibrations emanating from it increased until I had to release the necklace. It hung suspended in air as though waiting; then, all at once the tiny pebbles that remained from the arch began to move.
Every tiny piece moved as one, searching for its rightful place. When all the pieces found their home, an intense light erupted from within the arch. It crackled against the stone, ebbing and flowing in the space around it. I couldn’t tear my eyes away from the amulet; it was still suspended above the ground, basking in the light. I could feel my men gathering around me in anticipation as the stone slowly lowered into my waiting hands. The portal continued to glow, the light reaching toward us like hundreds of tiny hands.
“Men, we must be sure to arrive in the same location on the other side; form a line and follow me. Place your hand on the shoulder of the Knight before you.”
My stomach was in knots, but I couldn’t show my men the fear bubbling inside me. I stood up straight and led the way through the portal. I don’t know what I had expected to encounter as we entered the portal, but I don’t think I would have expected the violent ride we experienced.
My men fought desperately to maintain contact with one another. We had to stay together, we didn’t know if the portal would bring us all to the exact same location. There had never been more than one scout going from Riona to another world; with little information regarding the actual portal travel, we had to take extra precautions. A hand grasped mine on both sides; to my right, Lonzo gripped me tightly, with another man holding onto him on the other side. To my left, Solon, one of the older Knights, held onto my hand; his white knuckles desperate to maintain contact.
We were flung around like discarded playthings as we traveled through the white nothingness. I don’t know how long we were in the void with light crackling and reaching out around us, but when a break appeared in the light, we were spit out into a frigid environment.
I hit the ground with a thud. The air was forced from my chest, a painful emptiness filled my gut as I fought to take in air. I could hear weak moaning around me accompanied by desperate gasps. The other Knights must have been experiencing the exact same symptoms I had the pleasure of suffering.
My head was pounding. I struggled to focus on my surroundings. It was cold, and a white substance covered the ground. I had to keep it together for my men, I had to make sure they arrived safely despite the rough journey from Riona to Earth. I forced myself into a sitting position. A high-pitched noise filled my ears, and my head felt heavy.
“Lonzo?” I turned to my right, hoping to find my friend in a better condition than I was.
He was unconscious. I pushed myself to my feet and staggered amongst the fallen bodies of my Knights. A total of six men were unconscious, but alive, including Lonzo. I struggled to find the remaining two men. I surveyed the area directly around us but found no trace of them. Turning from the men around me, something caught my eye that made my stomach drop to my feet. I stumbled forward when I noticed a trail of crimson staining the white ground. Once I found the blood, it didn’t take me long to discover the bodies of the other two men; one of the brand-new Knights, and one of the experienced Knights.
Harmon and Elam lay some distance apart. My stomach turned at the sight of their detached arms resting between them, still grasping hands. The blood had seeped from their bodies, leaving a wide path in the cold, white substance until the fluid tapered off to nothing. I approached each man, their lifeless eyes staring at the gray sky overhead. There was no way to know if they died in the portal or if their life was ripped from them upon impact when we arrived on Earth.
I sank to my knees; it was never easy to lose men, but losing them in another world meant I couldn’t give them the proper Rionian ceremony they deserved. I wouldn’t be able to tell their families about their brave sacrifice until their bodies were cold and rotted—if I ever got to tell them at all.
Now, the high-pitched sound in my ears was accompanied by a wump-wump-wump of blood forcing itself through my head. I staggered back to the other men. Only seven of our number remained, and I was determined to keep us together. I collapsed beside Lonzo, finally letting the urge to sleep overpower me.
My life was a series of treatments and hypnosis. It slowly began to clear my head and I realized everything I’d insisted was real had only been fantasy. I continued to write what I knew about the place called Riona in the notebooks Paula kept me supplied with, but I had begun to see it for what it was; make-believe.
At first, I fought it. I held on to the elusive thread that slowly un
raveled what I thought was reality. It didn’t take long for the treatment to leave me questioning everything I believed was real. I was confused, I was lost and I didn’t know if I could trust myself. When the doctor finally decided I was ready to move onto the next step of treatment, I was prescribed an anti-psychotic. They stopped hypnotizing me and I didn’t have to endure ECT any longer. All I had to do was take one little pill, and continue to participate in group therapy sessions.
The medication I took kept me focused on the here and now and allowed me to rationalize the thoughts and apparent memories that jumbled my brain. The group therapy sessions helped me see that I wasn’t the only person struggling to come to grips with the world around me. I felt like a child learning about the world, one mistake at a time.
From what I understand now, my treatment cycle lasted three months, then I began the medication and therapy. It was another four months before I felt like I could consider myself normal, aside from my living situation and, well, everything else. The important thing was, I felt normal. I felt like me, and the doctors no longer looked at me like I had three eyes. There was a light at the end of the tunnel for me.
The doctors were pleased with my progress and had begun allowing me to go on field trips when I turned seventeen. They thought it was best for me to be exposed to the outside world as much as possible before I was released from their care. At first, it was terrifying. The idea of stepping foot outside of the hospital was debilitating. I faked illnesses, I hid, I did everything I could to remain in the safety of the psych ward.
It didn’t work. Paula caught on to my tricks. She told me she would drag me from the building kicking and screaming if she had to. Despite wanting nothing more than to throw a fit like a sullen child, I relented. I can remember my first foray into the outside world like it was yesterday. I was introduced to ice cream.
“Why is it so bright?” I asked with a scrunched-up face and tightly closed eyes.
“Because it’s sunny.” Paula replied patiently, as always.