by Capps, Bonny
I stand and lean over him as he frantically shakes his head, trying to form coherent sentences, however the mouth opener keeps him from forming anything other than low groans.
I place my palm on his forehead and push his skull down onto the spikes. His body is shaking uncontrollably as the tears fall. His nostrils are flaring as I place the tongue shredder over the pure muscle and clamp down.
My lips curl up as I begin pulling away, slowly at first as the sobs flow from his exposed throat.
I yank with all my might. Pleased to see that the tongue came out clean before saying, “Speak no evil.”
His chest is heaving as he makes guttural sounds accompanied by the gurgling of blood in his throat. Saliva and blood mix together and stream from his gaping mouth.
I remove the mouth opener and release his head. His chin touches his chest as he slumps further into the chair, and then jumps when the spikes bite into him again.
“I… don’t… want… to… die… please, please…” He says. It’s difficult to make out what he’s saying due to the loss of his tongue.
“Well,” I say as I turn back to the table and retrieve the drill, “You may as well get rid of the idea of life. Death is your only option, and I am the Grim Reaper.”
I press down on the trigger and the drill comes to life, the grinding sound reverberating throughout the room as Mr. Cruz narrows his eyes at me. I stalk over to him and smile, “Let’s take care of that “hear no evil” bit, shall we?”
He begins shaking his head, “NO! PLEASE NO!”
I nod, “Yes, Roman.”
I insert the drill into his ear as his screams ring in my own.
Chapter Forty: Amelia
MY HAND SHAKES as I look down at the positive pregnancy test. There are four others lined up next to the sink. All of them show the same. I knew. I knew when Gabe raped me, and I knew when I was late for my period. I knew when my breasts became tender. I knew, but I didn’t want to accept it.
The tears stream from my eyes as I grip the test in my hand. I scream in frustration as I throw it across the bathroom. It bounces against the wall and then lands face up at my feet, as though it’s mocking me. I bury my face in my hands, shaking my head. Trying to figure out how to fix this. But how? I’m a fucking prisoner. I can’t do anything. I have no choice over anything, including my body.
I had always planned on having children one day. I had always planned on being in a loving marriage and living in my dream home.
Not like this.
When Gabe came home after his first trip, he loved every inch of my body. He made mind-blowing love to me, and I gave into his touch. I enjoyed his lips and his tongue and his cock as he claimed me. He loved me tenderly. He kissed my stomach and whispered sweet nothings against my skin. He’d said that I was as close to love as he was capable. He’d said that we would love and cherish our child.
How can I? Is it possible to love a child when you had no choice in the matter of creating it? Is it possible to be happy when you’re hiding behind a mask? When you’re forced into marriage. When you could never love the man whose touch leaves a path of want, but your subconscious screams in defiance each and every time he’s inside of you?
Dammit. I’m so many things, sad and frustrated, hateful, full of remorse. My heart is the heaviest it’s ever been. I feel like it is expanding as it turns to stone, to the point where it will burst through my chest.
I sit up and rest a hand on my womb as I wipe away the tears.
“I’ll try for you, only for you. You’re one thing that he won’t take away. I’d thought that I had nothing left. Now I have you, and I will try with everything in me to love you and cherish you, to protect you. I swear on my life.”
Gabe is downstairs. In his study, doing God knows what. I sigh as I get up and make my way out of the bathroom. I smile weakly when I see Able’s eyes lock onto me as I walk past him. He looks worried, he must have heard me holler in the bathroom. I nod stiffly and I can see his eyebrows pinch together and sadness sweeps over his gaze.
I pad my way down the stairs, and stop when I reach his study. I reach up and hesitate before I knock quietly.
“Come in.” I hear from inside. I take a deep breath as I turn the knob and peek in.
He stands and quickly approaches me. He looks excited, he was the one to get me the tests after all.
“Well?” He asks impatiently. I bite my lip as I look into his green eyes and nod slowly.
He drops to his knees and grabs my hips. He rests his forehead against my womb.
“My baby. Oh my God, my baby.” He whispers before trailing kisses along my stomach. Tears fill my eyes and I squeeze them shut.
Yes, husband. You’ve won. Again.
Chapter Forty-One: Able
“SO, HOW ARE YOU FEELING?” I ask as I walk alongside Amelia. It’s cold out. The snow is now coating the ground surrounding our trail, yet the stream still flows.
She smiles up at me before running a hand over the tiny bump, “I’m doing well. The baby is moving around a little. It’s so subtle, it reminds me of butterfly wings.”
Gabe is on his third trip, it’s January, a new year, yet not much has changed. Other than Amelia’s growing womb.
“Well, as I understand, that’s normal.” I respond, “You look beautiful, Amelia. The most beautiful pregnant woman that I’ve ever seen in my life.”
She sighs, a troubled look overcoming her beautiful features.
I stop and gently turn her to face me, “What’s wrong.”
She shakes her head, “It’s nothing.”
“Amelia, tell me.”
She lets out a sharp exhale before her sad eyes lock onto mine, “I just wish that I could have known you, before this. Maybe…” She shakes her head, “Nothing. Forget it.”
I rest my hands on her cheeks. “Tell me.”
She bites her lip as tears cloud her gaze, “Maybe we could have been something.”
I frown as I look into her eyes. I’ve thought that so, so many times. Over the time that I’ve been here, my heart always beat erratically each and every time that I saw her approaching. She’s stunning.
Before I can stop myself and comprehend what I’m about to do, my lips crash into hers. My tongue finds its way past her teeth and into her mouth. Our tongues tangle as we let want possess us momentarily. As fast as it began, it ends. Amelia pulls away, leaving me breathless.
“I-I can’t. Able, he’ll kill you.” She stammers, her eyes wide with fear.
“I don’t care. Amelia, I lo-”
Her hand flies out and covers my mouth, “Please. Please don’t Able. You can’t. He-he kills everything that I care for. Please, we can’t. This is not how my fate is supposed to play out. I’m his.”
I grip her wrist and pull her hand from my lips, “No you’re not, Amelia. You’re nobodies.”
A tear escapes her eye, travelling over her milky cheek and burrowing itself into the corner of her mouth, “Maybe… maybe in a perfect world, you and I could be together. But the world isn’t perfect, Able. It’s mean and ugly and cruel. Choice isn’t an option for me, it’s never been.”
She begins to back away, but I pull her close, “Then let’s run away. I’ll save you. I’ll keep him away, keep you safe.”
She places her small hand on my cheek, a sad smile creeping across her face, “You know that can’t happen. I won’t let it. You know why. My mother… my grandmother… No, you just stay. Stay here with me. Please, you’re the only person that I have, the only one that knows the truth. Stay.”
I squeeze my eyes shut momentarily to control my emotions, “Okay. I’ll stay.”
A real smile tugs at her lips, “Okay. Okay. That’s good.” She leans forward and kisses my cheek.
The rage pumps through my veins. I will destroy that son of a bitch. I cannot stand by and watch him hurt her anymore, emotionally or physically.
I have my demons, shit I can nearly hear the skeletons rattling in my closet. But, I kn
ow that I’m capable of love. Love is ultimately what destroyed me.
I know that I would reach into my chest and give her my heart, even if it meant that I would be destroyed again.
Chapter Forty-Two: Gabe
“WELL, LOOKS LIKE IT IS A HEALTHY, BABY BOY.” Dr. Kerr says as she examines the screen of the ultra-sound machine. Her blonde hair is pulled into a tight bun, and her grey eyes look over her thin, rimmed glasses.
I look down at Amelia, a huge smile tugging at my lips. “A son.” I say. She nods as her lips curl up slightly.
I feel a warmth throughout me. What is it? I’m not sure. I’ve never felt it before. This woman, she holds my son in her magnificent body. She is going to give me what I’ve always longed for. Normalcy. Her eyes are unreadable as Dr. Kerr stands and begins packing her equipment.
“Amelia, you’ve been taking your pre-natal vitamins?” She asks and Amelia nods.
The Doctor reaches out to shake my hand, “Until next time, Mr. Thibault. You take good care of her.” She turns and looks towards Amelia, “You keep up the great work. Remember, no stress. Enjoy this. Pregnancy can be a very enjoyable experience, so long as you take care of yourself.”
I walk Dr. Kerr to the door and escort her out. I’ve known that woman for a while, even did a job for her because of some malpractice claim. We’re planning on having Amelia deliver here, in the same bed where our son was made.
I put my hands in my pockets and return to Amelia who is still lying on the couch. I kneel down beside her and splay my hand over her stomach.
“You’re beautiful.” I whisper as I lean down and kiss her forehead.
Her eyes lock onto the ceiling and she tries to blinks away the tears that are collecting in them.
“What’s wrong, baby?” I whisper.
She shakes her head slowly, “How can you not know the answer to that?”
Her eyes shift to mine, “I will love our son, but I’m so young. I just turned 19, Gabe. How am I supposed to be a good mother?”
I sigh. This is supposed to be a happy moment, and there she goes. Ruining it.
I remove my hand from her stomach and stand.
“You’ll be a fine mother.” I say through clenched teeth.
“How do you know that?” She stands and looks up at me, “Gabe, I’m still practically a child myself.”
I feel the darkness creep over me as the air begins to feel restricted. I’m about to rage. I can’t.
I can’t.
I turn from her and stalk to the bedroom where my suitcase is waiting. I’ve got to leave. I cannot let myself lose control. Not with my baby inside of her. I’ve got a job to do anyway. It won’t hurt leaving a couple hours early.
I descend the stairs and see Amelia waiting by the front door in the foyer. That bastard Able is next to her, looking down at her sympathetically. He better watch out. I will not think twice before I rip his throat out. I clear my throat as I saunter towards them, “Please make sure that my wife stays well rested.”
I lean forward as he narrows his eyes at me, “You may want to limit your little walks.” I growl into his ear.
We stare at each other for a moment. I’m suddenly questioning my staff – well this one anyway. His eyes are filled with the same defiance that my wife’s sometimes have. I’ll need to keep an eye on him. I break our stare and look into Amelia’s brown eyes, “I’ll be back soon baby.” I lean down and kiss her cheek, “I love you.” I whisper against her soft skin.
Her breath hitches. When I back away, her eyes are full of tears and her mouth has formed into an ‘O’. I smile at her response and nod to Benedict who holds one of the double doors ajar.
Love. Do I? Could I? I’ve never said those three words in my life.
Chapter Forty-Three: Able
“DO YOU THINK HE MEANT IT?” Amelia asks softly as we stand and watch the still moving parts of the stream rushing past the ice as it attempts to claim it.
I sigh, “I don’t know, Amelia.”
She wraps her arms around herself and hugs her shoulders, “I can’t ever love him, even if he loved me. I couldn’t.”
I press my lips together and look down at her, still so small with her rounded belly. Her hair blows gently in the breeze as it collects flakes of snow as it falls gracefully. Her skin is milky and smooth, the dark strands of hair that manage to blow into her face are a sharp contrast, and those eyes, the most beautiful, saddest eyes that I’ve ever seen in my life.
“I think that in order to love someone, you have to be willing to do anything for them. Even if it means letting them go.” I pause and my eyes return to the stream, “I think he loves the idea of you, Amelia. The idea of a family.”
“Love is overrated.” She says bitterly.
I turn her to face me, “That’s not true. Don’t let him make you believe it.”
Her eyebrows squeeze together, “You seem to know a lot about love.”
“I know the risks that are involved with love, but I’m still willing to take them.”
She diverts her eyes, “Able, please don’t.”
I tilt her head, forcing her gaze to meet mine, “I just meant that I lost a lot for it. However it wasn’t for the love that you find, it was for the love that I was born to.”
“I don’t understand.” She whispers.
I clear my throat as I find the words that I’ve kept buried for so long, “My mother. My father used to beat the living hell out of her, to the point where he almost killed her a handful of times. He… he used to molest me as well. Since I was old enough to remember.”
Amelia’s eyes grow wide as her hands fly up to her mouth, “Oh my God, Able. I’m so sorry!”
I smile weakly as I continue, “Things began to get really bad when my mother caught him and tried to make him stop. It would only make him beat her more. One day, I just felt in my heart that he was finally going to do it. I was twelve and I went into the kitchen.” I pause as I blink aware the tears from telling a story that I’d not visited in years, “I stood behind him as he kept pummeling her face. I remember just hearing this terrible sound of skin against skin. It was relentless. I blacked out. I remember screaming and hurdling towards him… when I came down from the rage, I looked down and saw my shaking hands covered in blood. He was unrecognizable.”
Tears are steadily flowing from her eyes, “What happened after?”
“They sent me to a mental institution. I stayed there until I was eighteen. I guess they eventually determined that I wasn’t crazy.”
“Why did they send you there? You were defending your mother!” She asks shakily.
I exhale sharply, “I guess that’s the thing. He was a police officer and it was made out that we conspired against him. All of his police buddies rallied against us. My mother hasn’t said a word since that day and remains in the institution. The last thing that she’s ever said to me was that I was evil, that I was the devil. She tried to strangle me after that, before the police got there.”
Amelia sighs, “That’s terrible. I’m so sorry, Able. Have you seen her since?”
“No. I haven’t been able to face her after that. We were each in different wings in the institution. I’ve never understood why she turned on me like she did. I was trying to protect her.”
Amelia takes a step towards me and places her hands on my cheeks, “You’re the best man that I’ve ever known. I mean that.”
I grasp her neck gently and run circles against her soft skin with my thumbs, “I’ve never told anyone, other than the shrinks obviously. So you see, you do anything for love. That’s what it means. Just like you would do anything for your mother and grandmother…”
Amelia nods, “Just like I would for you.”
I tilt my head to the side, and before I’m able to ask what she meant, her lips find mine.
Chapter Forty-Four: Gabe
I GRUNT AS I LIFT THE MAN and throw him into the trunk. Stopping abruptly, I slam the hood shut and look around. I heard something and I fee
l eyes.
The parking garage in Dallas is empty, vacant of any cars. The guy was meeting up with a business affiliate. Once the other man left, I got him. When will people learn that discretion is dangerous?
I walk a few feet from the rental car as my eyes travel around the vast pavement.
“I know you’re there.” I say.
Then I see a flash of blonde and black. I’m right on her.
Quicker.
Stronger.
I wrap my arms around her flailing form. She’s a fighter. Kneeing, kicking, punching and clawing. When I sense that she’s about to scream, I slap my hand over her mouth.
“Now, now. You need to calm down.” I whisper into her ear. My cool demeanor causes her to shake, “If you scream, I’ll kill you right here, with my bare hands. I’m capable of doing so.”
I slowly remove my hand and all I can hear are her hurried exhales from her flared nostrils.
“What’s your name?” I ask.
“Kat.” She says. Her name makes me smile.
“Haven’t you ever heard that curiosity killed the cat?”
“Please, I didn’t see anything.” She pleads.
I shake my head, knowing I can’t let her go.
“I’m afraid you’re lying Kat. You wouldn’t have run, had you not seen anything.”
I turn her around to face me. She’s got shoulder length, blonde hair and big, curious sapphire eyes.
She’s wearing a worn, leather jacket with some of those tight hipster pants and converse. She’s got a large bag flung over her shoulder with pins of different bands.
“Nobody would care what I said anyway, I-I live on the street.” She stammers as her eyes search my face.
My lips curl up, that wasn’t smart Kat, not at all.
I run my fingers over her cheeks, “How old are you?”