by Elin Peer
“Yes, I can see that you’re upset.”
My mother’s face held a flustered expression, and she spoke at a fast pace. “Upset isn’t the word. You sat here in my kitchen and gave me a solemn promise, and then I learn that you’re throwing everything away. I won’t allow it.” It was very rare for a Motlander to raise their voice, and my mother was almost screaming.
“Mom, calm down.”
“No. Why would you quit your job at Advanced Technologies without consulting me about it? Do you have another job lined up?”
“No.”
“You are a genius, Shelly. And with that comes a responsibility. I refused to believe it when Rochelle told me you’re planning to take a break from working to spend more time with an Nman. An Nman, Shelly. How can you throw away your dreams like that?”
“Mom, his name is Marco and I love him. We’re having a child together.”
She gasped. “Rochelle told me, but it’s not true, is it?”
“It’s true, I’m pregnant.”
My mom looked like she was about to cry. “How did this happen?”
“Well, as women we release an egg about once a month and if we have unprotected sex with a fertile male, chances are that…”
My mom cut me off. “That’s not what I meant. How could you let this happen? You are a modern woman. You don’t need a man in your life. I’ve raised both you and Rochelle to be strong and independent women, so why would you do something this reckless? Where is this absurd attraction to Nmen coming from? You’re not one of those romantics without a speck of common sense. You’re too smart for this.”
When she ran out of air, I took my chance to get a word in. “Mom, the truth is that I’ve always been attracted to Marco. He was the other assistant teacher when I taught here at the school. You’ve seen him.”
“When?”
“Remember when we went on a week-long field trip to the Motherlands, and you came to meet us at that beach hotel?”
“Yes.”
“Do you remember the young man who climbed the flagpole?”
“Vaguely.”
“That was Marco.”
My mom closed her eyes. “I blame myself. It was a mistake to allow you and Rochelle to go to that school in the first place. Look at the mess it’s gotten you into.”
“Mom, I’m very happy with Marco.”
“Women haven’t needed men to be happy in centuries. It’s a phase, and I promise you one thing; you’re not going to be happy when you are bored out of your mind from not working.”
“But the child will keep me busy. Maybe it would be good for me to take a break,” I said with my best poker face on.
“No, it wouldn’t. I know you, Shelly, and you would be miserable if you didn’t work.”
She was right about that. But I didn’t admit to it.
“Some people would thrive with being home with a baby all day, but you’re not like that. Don’t give up on everything you care about just because you’re having a child. I had you and Rochelle, and I still lived my passion and contributed to society. You can too. Please don’t give up on your dreams when you’ve worked so hard for them.”
“I understand that you’re disappointed, but at least I kept my promise. I haven’t married him, even though Marco has asked me several times.”
“That’s good. Marriage is redundant.”
“Yes. I’ve told him that it doesn’t matter. I mean it’s just a title anyway. The important thing is that we live together and raise our child together. Marco is such a warm and wonderful person, Mom. You’re going to love him. He said that he would work two jobs to support me and the baby.”
“Shelly, listen... listen…” My mother, who was normally always calm and articulate, was out of words. Pulling at her collar, she waved a hand in front of her face as if to cool herself off.
“Are you okay, Mom? You’re not having one of those hot flashes again that you talked about, are you?”
“Stop talking about hot flashes. I’m trying to think of a way to solve this awful situation you’ve put yourself in, Shelly. I can’t believe you would even consider giving up your career.”
This was exactly what I had been planning for. Ever since I was a toddler, my mom had been invested in my academic brilliance.
“Did you say he would work two jobs?”
“Yes.”
“But honey, why would you let him work two jobs instead of contributing yourself? How is that teamwork?”
“It’s complicated. The thing is that I would be the only pregnant woman who isn’t married in this country, Mom. Marco is taking it pretty hard and once the other Nmen find out, he’s going to be under a lot of pressure and ridicule.”
My mother tucked her hair behind her ear. “What does that have to do with you working?”
“I just thought it was a way for me to show Marco how committed I am to him and our child. He knows how much I love my work and that it’s a huge thing for me to give up.”
“No. I won’t let you. You can’t give up your work.” My mom sounded frantic. “Shelly, listen to me, darling. Maybe it would be better if you came back and took some time to reflect on the whole thing.”
“Sorry, Mom, but this isn’t a rash decision. I’ve taken time to think about it. Marco was against my giving up my job.”
“He was? Then you should listen to him.”
“He understands that it’s my way of compensating for not being able to marry him.”
“Then marry him. As I see it, it’s the lesser of two evils. Just please don’t give up your career.”
“You don’t mean that!”
“I do. You can work and have a child at the same time. I did.”
“You think so?”
“I know it.”
I placed my hand on my collarbone. “Maybe I will. It’s just that I never imagined having children.”
My mom seemed calmer now. “Oh, don’t worry, honey, you’re going to be an amazing mother. I’ll be here to give you all the advice you’ll need. Just promise you won’t give up on your work. It’s important.”
My plan had succeeded. My mother had been so distracted by talking me out of giving up work, that she hadn’t had time to freak out about the pregnancy.
“I’m going to need a lot of advice.”
“That’s what I’m here for.” My mother gave me a stiff smile. “Maybe you could convince Mando to come and live here in the Motherlands.”
“Marco.”
“Yes. Marco. You should bring him.”
“I don’t think he’d like that.”
“Why not?”
“Because he would miss the Northlands too much. All his friends live here and it’s where his work is.”
“Tell him that I will be happy to assist in getting him resident status here if he’s willing to move.”
“Mom, you’re the best. I love you so much and I promise to try and convince him.”
“I love you too, honey.” She sighed. “I’ll need a strong cup of tea after this. You truly scared me with your talk about giving up work. Good thing Rochelle called me and had me talk some sense into you.”
“Yes, I’m happy we talked.”
It was almost too good to be true, the way she had accepted the baby and Marco. “Are you okay now? It must be a shock to you that I am pregnant and in love with an Nman.”
Sheana played with her necklace. “After you told me that you had sex with an Nman I was preparing myself that something like this might happen.”
“So, you’re not surprised?”
“Charlie told me that you were renting a room with a single man who is now your protector, so no, I’m not that surprised. Of course, I was hoping it was just a phase and that you would soon be home again.”
After ending the call with my mother, I found Rochelle close to the school. She was on her knees in the vegetable garden, digging up potatoes for dinner.
“How did it go?” she asked in an eager tone.
“Mom
took it a lot better than I thought she would.”
Rochelle dried her forehead and got a bit of dirt across her eyebrow. “Really?”
“Yes, the plan worked. Thank you for helping me set it up.”
“I hate that we lied to her.”
“Why? Instead of being devastated, Mom is now relieved that she made a difference and talked me out of giving up my career. I gave her a victory.”
“It was an illusion. A manipulation of the truth at best. You never intended to give up working.”
“I don’t see the problem.”
“That’s because you are you, Shelly.”
“Who else would I be?”
“No, I mean, you’re insensitive that way.”
Jerking my head back, I gave her a sharp look. “Insensitive? I did everything I could to break the news to Mom in a way that wouldn’t leave her heartbroken. That should qualify as being sensitive to others’ feelings.”
Rochelle scrunched up her face in an expression of pity. “You just don’t get it, Shelly.”
I had heard those words from her a million times; I turned my back on her, walking away.
I’d only taken a few steps when Rochelle called out to me. “Don’t get mad. Like you said – end of the day, a child is always a miracle, even if I don’t understand why you would submit yourself to producing it the way you did.”
I turned to look at her and spoke in a flat tone. “Having sex is the natural way to produce a child.”
“That might’ve been true in the past, but we humans have progressed since then.”
I gave a small laugh. “You wouldn’t see it that way if you knew how good sex can feel with the right man.”
Rochelle wrinkled her nose up. “I’m not tempted.”
“That’s your loss.”
“But if I were to pick one of the Nmen, it would be Hunter for sure. Or maybe Tristan; he’s very charming.”
I suppressed a smile and looked to the soccer field. “I can’t believe they’re still fighting,” I muttered. Raven and Nero were sitting on the grass with the others while William and Plato were now going at it.
Rochelle got up and looked in that direction too. “I hope your child gets Marco’s curls.”
“And his eyes,” I added. “He has really nice eyes.”
“He does.” She smiled at me. “And he’s sharp too.”
“That’s why I like him so much. He’s challenges me because he’s intelligent like me.”
“Let’s not push it. No one is like you,” Rochelle teased and tilted her head.
“Rochelle and Shelly, over here,” Mila called out from the doorway to the school. We waved back and walked over to her.
“Do you want to help me prepare for a fun game that we can all play?” Mila asked.
“Sure, what kind of game is it?”
“It’s a memory game. We have to remember things about each other.”
“That shouldn’t be too hard.” I lit up in a smile. “Sounds like my kind of game.”
“I know, but you can’t participate.” Mila smiled at me. “It wouldn’t be fair to the others.”
Crossing my arms, I frowned. “What kind of backward logic is that?”
“You’re too good, Shelly.”
“Are you going to tell the best fighter that he can’t fight because it’s not fair to the others?”
“No.”
“Are you going to tell the best runner that he can’t run because he’s too fast for the others?”
“No.” Mila shook her head.
“Will you tell the person who cooks the best that they can’t be in the kitchen because they make people like me look bad?”
“No, of course not, but it’s not the same thing.”
“It’s exactly the same thing.”
“But you’re a genius,” Mila said with an apologetic shrug.
“I hate that word.” I groaned and walked outside, where Willow sat against the wall of the school, her eyes closed and her face turned from the sun.
“Can I sit with you?” I asked.
She lifted a hand to shield herself from the bright light and smiled. “You don’t have to ask, Shelly. I’d be honored. In fact, I could use a second opinion on something.”
I slid down next to her. “I’m listening.”
“Pearl and Khan have invited me to be part of a planned tour here in the Northlands. It’s a cultural exchange.”
“You mean with your dancing?”
“Yes. I would be part of a group of performers from the Motherlands who will be touring for the next four months. Salma Rose will be there.”
“The name sounds familiar. Is she a singer?”
“More like a phenomenon. You hear her songs played all the time.”
“That’s exciting.”
“So you think I should say yes?”
“Why wouldn’t you? Sounds like an adventure to me.”
“It’s just so last-minute. Lily White was supposed to go but she canceled. She’s one of the best dancers in the Motherlands.”
“I don’t know her name. Why did she cancel?”
“Pressure from her family. Pearl told me that it’s been difficult to find artists who are willing to perform here in the Northlands. They fear for their safety.”
“And you don’t?”
Willow gave me a funny look. “Do you?”
“There’s been a few situations where I didn’t feel safe. Things have changed a lot since we were children but having a protector by your side is still a good idea when you’re a woman in the Northlands.”
“Khan said that he would have his best men in charge of our safety.”
“Then what’s your worry?”
“I don’t know. The commitments I have at home wouldn’t stop me. I teach dance classes for children and perform with the theater, but we are in between productions right now, and they would be so delighted for me to get a chance like this.”
“Sounds like you want to go.”
“Yeah, I think I do.” Willow smiled and looked up to the sky, where a drone was flying in. From the size and look of it, I had a good idea who it might be.
“I think Khan and Magni are here,” I guessed.
Willow stiffened next to me. “Do you think they brought Solo?” she asked and paled.
CHAPTER 28
Body Language
Marco
The new arrivals caused a stir.
As our ruler, Lord Khan carried himself with authority, while his brother, Magni, was a brooding giant admired by all Nmen for his extraordinary fighting skills.
Last time I had seen them had been at Luisa’s tournament, where they had both been wearing regal outfits and looked elegant. Today, the two tall brothers wore combat boots and uniforms. Magni had a smear of blood across his chest and his hair was anything but combed.
Mila came running to hug her adoptive father and spoke in a worried tone of voice. “Did you sleep at all? You look exhausted.”
“No, I didn’t sleep. We came straight here.”
Pearl came to hug Khan and they spoke in hushed voices before he turned to the rest of us. “It’s good to see all of you and I can’t wait to hear how you’re all doing. As you can see, Magni and I will need to shower before we sit down to eat with you tonight. We just stopped by to tell you that we haven’t forgotten about the celebrations and that we’ll join you in a few hours.”
Pearl and Laura walked their husbands back to the large drone and Shelly came to stand next to me. “Something’s wrong,” she muttered low. “See how serious they look.”
I agreed with her but I didn’t want her to worry. “They’re just sleep-deprived.”
“True, but something troubles them and they are in disagreement about how to handle it.”
“How do you know?”
“See how Pearl is using her hands to cut through the air. She obviously feels strongly about whatever they are discussing since she’s underlining her words with her gestures. It’s clear th
at Magni doesn’t like what she’s saying because he’s exhibiting eye-blocking behavior.”
“Eye-blocking behavior?”
“Yes, when we’re exposed to something that we don’t like, it’s normal to close or rub our eyes, to look down or to the side.
“You’re reading their body language, aren’t you?”
“I am. Did you know that females are believed to be three to five times better at reading body language than men? Traditionally, women needed the skill in order to read babies that had no verbal language.”
“They’re calling for reinforcement,” I said to prove that I could read body language too. Not that it was difficult, since Magni used his wristband to send a message and waved at Finn to come over.
Shelly and I tried not to make it too obvious that we were following the situation closely when Finn, Boulder, and Hunter all joined the four others by the drone.
“I get that Boulder and Finn have been called in since they’ve always been the advisers of Lord Khan, but why Hunter?” The minute I said it Shelly and I looked at each other.
“Solo.” Her eyes widened. “This has to be about Solo.”
When Laura looked over at us, we turned our faces away.
“Pretend that we’re talking about something unrelated and laugh,” Shelly instructed me.
I gave a small laugh that made her arch an eyebrow. “I’m funnier than that.”
“Just keep your back to them and I’ll look over your shoulder.”
“What’s happening?”
“Lord Khan is speaking to Hunter.”
“And?”
“And nothing. I can’t see his face.”
“Did he stiffen, lower his shoulders, angle his head, or maybe form his hands into fists? Look for signs.”
“How about you look and I keep my back to them?”
Pretending to be annoyed by the sun, Shelly swapped places with me.
“What do you see?” I asked.
“They are discussing. Hunter is agitated. He’s moving his feet, shifting his balance; now he’s pointing at Magni. This has to be about Solo.”
“Fuck, you know what I just thought of?”
“What?”
“Yesterday, Boulder and Finn told me that the reason Lord Khan and Magni weren’t here was because an Nman had murdered his wife.”