by Stacy Eaton
“Joanne, I’m not leaving my daughter. Why don’t you go home and rest? You’ve been here for two days yourself.”
“I could use a shower,” she commented.
“Yes, you could. Actually,” I bent my head down and sniffed my armpit, “I could use one myself, but that can wait. Go home, get some rest, and maybe you can come back in the morning, so I can at least go home and get a shower and change clothes.”
“Sounds like a plan.”
I hugged her tightly, thanked her for all she had done, and then watched as she kissed Cammie on the brow before leaving.
I took over her chair and stared at my daughter for a long time. Finally, I leaned my head back against the cushion, closed my eyes, and prayed. Please, God, don’t take my daughter. I know it is horrible to wish for someone’s death, but please find a heart for Cammie, please.
Chapter 15
Rye
“What do you mean, ‘She got off the island?’”
“I mean, I found an Amy, but she used a different last name, not Black, and she took off early this morning, connected in Puerto Rico, then Miami, and then flew to Baltimore.”
The tension released from my shoulders in a great wave, and I wanted to slump to the chair behind me.
“So get your ass on a plane and get out of there,” he growled.
“I am, I heading to the airport now. Thank you, Roan.”
“You’re welcome.” He paused. “Did she tell you that her last name was Black?”
“Yes, she did, and that was the name she used here at the hotel. That’s what they called her, too.”
“You realize that she might have lied to you, right?”
“Yes, the thought had crossed my mind, but Roan, I am not going to discuss this with you right now. You can give me the third degree about my personal life when I get home.”
“You know that is exactly what I’m going to do. I want to know everything about her. I’m not a fan of the fact that she was using an assumed name.”
“Do you always have to be so suspicious? I don’t know where you even got that characteristic.”
“Mom. I got it from Mom. Don’t you remember when we were growing up, and she used to figure out what we were up to before we even started doing something. She was constantly suspicious of us, that’s why she cut the branches off the tree outside my window. She knew I was thinking of sneaking out and using the tree to do it.”
I laughed. “Yeah, I guess you’re right.”
“I am. Now go get on the plane.”
“I am, and thanks again, Roan.”
“I’m glad I could help, Rye.” He hesitated before asking, “Did you really like this woman?”
I glanced around the lobby. “Let’s just say that I finally thought I had what you’ve been lucky enough to have twice. I wasn’t looking for it, or her, or any woman, but she cut in front of me, laughed out loud, and I was a goner.”
“Damn, I’m sorry, bro.”
“Yeah, me, too.”
“We’ll see you when you get home.”
I hung up without another word and headed to the portico to take the next car to the airport.
For hours I dwelled on the fact that Amy had lied about her last name, but I wasn’t surprised—not really. She had been so protective about her life that it only made sense that she protect her name, too. Roan had been ready to tell me what her real last name was, but I didn’t want to know. If I did, I would have been on a crash course to find her. I’d have sought her out and asked her why she’d left without saying a word, asked her if she’d felt anything for me, and then made her tell me about her life—her real life.
That was exactly why I didn’t ask my brother for the information. Amy was protecting herself, and her daughter, and I owed it to her to allow her that. I cared about her enough to respect her wishes and as much as it pissed me off and hurt me, it was her choice to make, and she had made it plainly obvious what she wanted.
By the time I had arrived at my local airport, I was resolved to live with the memory of a few days of paradise and let her go. She had my number and could call me if she wanted to. If she ever did, I’d move heaven and Earth to help her.
It was almost midnight when I arrived home, and I was drop-dead weary. All I wanted to do was collapse in bed. My house was similar to Roan’s, except I didn’t have a full glass wall in the rear. My place wasn’t built on the edge of a hill, so I didn’t have the grand view that he did. Our builder was the same, though, so many of the architectural aspects were similar, especially with the upper walkway that crossed over the family room. It wasn’t until I stepped into that room from the garage that I realized something was wrong.
Lights were on in the kitchen, and as I stepped around the corner, I froze. “What the hell are you doing here?”
Autumn was wrapped in her favorite red silk robe, sitting at the kitchen island sipping from a wineglass. I knew very well that she’d poured a wine cooler in there and hadn’t popped a real cork. “I heard you were coming home,” she cooed.
My stomach rolled with revulsion. “Yes, to my home. This is no longer yours.”
“This is my home, too,” she said quickly and then lowered her voice. “Can’t we talk about what happened, Rye?”
“Autumn, I am exhausted from traveling all day, and I have nothing to say to you.”
“But I love you,” she whined.
“Yeah, I bet you loved that other guy, too, the one that got you pregnant.” I turned my back on her. “I’m not interested in mending fences with you, Autumn. We’re over.”
“I got an abortion,” she blurted.
My skin began to crawl as I turned slowly toward her. “You did what?”
“I had an abortion. I didn’t want his child. I want your child, Rye. I want our child.”
“Oh, my god! What kind of monster are you? You screw around on me, you get pregnant, and then he probably tells you that he doesn’t want to have anything to do with you or the baby, so you decide to end a life, kill a baby, on a whim? You’re unreal, Autumn.”
“It wasn’t really a baby, not yet.”
“I’m not going to debate the semantics of fetuses. You need to get out of my house. You disgust me.”
“Why does it disgust you? Women do it all the time. I made a mistake, Rye, a mistake. Can’t you forgive me?”
“You’re kidding, right? I spend half of my life traveling, and you think I would ever trust you while I was gone again? Do you know how many times I was tempted to sleep with another woman, but I didn’t? Hundreds!” I yelled at her. “But I didn’t because I was under some misguided assumption that I was in love with you, and that you loved me, and that our relationship actually meant something.”
“I do love you!” she whined loudly and tried to pout. It pissed me off so badly that I wanted to put my fist through a wall.
“You have no idea what love is, Autumn, and you know what?” I fisted my hands at my side. “I do now. I know what love is like. Love is so damn powerful that you will do everything you can to take care of someone else. You would risk your own life to protect them or be with them. You’d put aside your own desires, your own problems to help them, to give them what they need, and you’ll accept their decisions even if you don’t understand them—and when it hurts the most, when you think you’ll never be able to live without them, you’ll let go of them. That’s real love! You—Autumn—have no fucking idea what love really is. You think it’s getting dressed up and wearing the best of everything, of having people do your bidding, and being the most popular couple in town. It’s not—you have no clue—you just have no clue.”
She stared at me wide-eyed, and her bottom lip began to quiver. For once, I truly believed that she was being real and not putting on an act.
“Now, I am exhausted, and I want you to leave my house.” I began to turn away again, and my eyes slipped over the room. All her knickknacks, pictures, and throw pillows were still all over the room. “You didn’t even pack
your shit?”
“I thought we would talk things over and fix them. I know you’ll give me another chance.”
I spun around and got in her face. “If you were the last woman on Earth, you would not be good enough for me. I deserve a hell of a lot better than you. There will be no second chances with you, Autumn. I’m done. You have one day to get your crap out of my house, or I’m going to have you evicted! You got that, Autumn? We are over—over! And if I ever see you again, it will be too damn soon.”
In a huff, I headed back to the garage, glad that my luggage was still in the back of my car. I was so tired, but the fury at seeing Autumn in my house spurred me on.
As I pulled down my driveway, I thought about calling Roan to tell him I was on my way over, but it was so late that I didn’t want to bother him. I set my cellphone into the console and fought back another yawn. Even with anger-laced adrenaline coursing through my veins, I was a walking zombie. Another twenty minutes and then I could finally pass the hell out.
I had tried to sleep on the plane, but I had been too keyed up, and when I wasn’t dwelling on Amy’s last name, I had played my three days on the island over and over again. Every time I closed my eyes, Amy’s beautiful face popped up on the back of my lids. Memories of her laughter echoed through my mind, and I could almost feel the smooth texture of her skin on my fingertips.
My jaw cracked as I yawned. I blinked my bleary eyes, trying to focus on the roadway as car lights came toward me. I couldn’t tell if the car in front of me was weaving, or if I was so tired things were just randomly moving in my mind. As the car got closer, I began to apply the brakes, but it was already too late. The car was losing control and going into a tailspin, and it was heading right for me.
My last thought before impact was of Amy and the small dolphin that I’d stuffed into my bag before I’d left the resort.
Chapter 16
Amy
I sat by Cammie’s bedside all night long, watching over her, drifting in and out of sleep, and praying. I did a lot of praying. Sometimes I wondered if my prayers did anything. Did God even hear me? Did He care? How could I even know if my prayers were heard?
I wished that, at times like these, there was more evidence that He was watching over us. I knew that some people talked about a sense of peace that overcame them once they’d prayed, but I had never felt that. Perhaps I was praying wrong? Perhaps I’d done something to anger God? Religion was perplexing to me. I’d always believed that God existed, but when my daughter got sick, and then Andre had left, I had to wonder if God did exist, or if I had done something wrong and was being punished.
I’d promised God that I would do everything I could to protect Cammie, that I would be a good person and focus all my attention on her if He would just let her live. Had the affair on the island broken the vow I’d made? Had I put myself first, and now I was reaping the punishment?
God could not be that cruel.
“Mommy,” Cammie whispered.
I came to her side. “Yes, sweetie.”
“You look sad.”
“I’m tired, and I’m worried about you, so maybe I’m a little sad.”
“Tell me what you did on your trip.” She curled on her side, her eyes wide.
“Well, they lost all my luggage when I got there, and then they gave me this great room right on the beach. It was so close that I could walk out the door, and my feet were literally in the sand.”
“Wow, I wish I could see that.”
“You will, one day you will, sweetheart.”
“Mom, I know I might die,” she said solemnly.
“Camelia, let’s not think like that.” I brushed her hair back.
“No, Mom, you have to think like that. The chances of me getting a heart and surviving the surgery are really low. I know that, Mom. Dr. August and I have talked about it. He tells me the truth.”
I frowned. “Do you think I lie to you?”
“No, I don’t think you lie to me. I think you don’t tell me things because you want to protect me, and you think I can’t handle it.”
“Oh, baby, I am trying to protect you.”
“Mom, if you’re going to protect me, then you need to tell me things up front. I’m not a little baby anymore. I can deal with it.”
Tears welled in my eyes. “Cammie, you will always be my baby. I know you can deal with it, sweetheart. I think sometimes I can’t talk to you about it because I’m the one who can’t deal with it.”
She smiled. “Yeah, that might be it.”
“You think I can’t deal with it either, huh?”
“I think you’re afraid that I’m going to die, and you’ll be alone.”
“I don’t care about being alone, Cammie. I could deal with that, but I don’t want you to die. I want you to grow up and be strong and beautiful and have a husband and a family and live a long life.”
“I’d like that, too, Mom, but sometimes we don’t get what we want.”
Rye’s face flashed into the center of my mind, and I smiled wistfully. “That is very true. Cammie.” I leaned closer to her and stared intently into her eyes. “When did you grow up to be so smart and so mature? Where did my little girl go?”
Cammie put her finger to my nose. “I’m still here, but I’m trying to be strong.”
“Baby, you are strong, so very strong.”
“I get that from you, not Daddy.” At the mention of Andre, I glanced away and wondered if I should call him and tell him what was going on, but then I remembered that Joanne had already spoken to him, and he’d said he didn’t want to deal with it.
“Yes, that is very true.”
“That’s why he left, right? I know you said it was because you two didn’t get along, but he left because he didn’t want to watch me die.”
Oh, how I wanted to strangle that man—and lie to my daughter—but I wouldn’t. “Sometimes you are too smart, even for me.”
“We don’t need him, Mommy. Someday, we’ll find someone else who will love us, or you will if I’m not here.”
“You’re going to be here, baby, I promise you’re going to be here.” I was ready to put my head down on the bed and start bawling.
She yawned, and I kissed her forehead; it was cool to the touch now. “Why don’t you rest a little longer. Joanne will probably be here when you wake up next. I need to go home, get showered, and change clothes.”
“Okay,” she replied and was already drifting back to sleep as I leaned back in the chair.
She was so much braver than I was, and ten times stronger than Andre. I was going to call him today and give him a piece of my mind, that was for sure. How dare he completely disregard her. He might have divorced me, but he was not allowed to do that to our daughter. I understood that he was scared, but how could he push his daughter away when she was sick?
Joanne showed up an hour later, and we talked for a few moments before I dragged myself out to the parking lot. I told her that I was going to go home, take a three-hour nap, and then shower, eat, and come back. Cammie’s new bloodwork would be back by then, and we’d have a better idea of what was going on.
When I got home, I walked through the front door, took one look at her favorite blanket wadded up on the couch and proceeded to fall apart. I cried for a long time about the injustice of it all. I let the fear come forward until it almost strangled me, and then I pushed it back again. I drained myself of the last of my energy and then pulled up my alarm on my phone and set it for eleven. Before I even laid my head down, I was falling asleep.
When the alarm went off, I was in the middle of a dream. I was standing on the beach, back on the island, and Rye was standing a distance away from me, waving. I glanced over my shoulder, and Cammie was on the other side, and she was waving to me, too.
Both of them looked so serene and happy, and Cammie had the healthy glow of a young lady, not a sick child. Rye’s sexy smile beckoned me toward him just as Cammie’s giggle rent the air, and she called to me. I stood caught in
the middle, wanting them both, wishing that I could have it all, but then I began to panic as Rye’s image began to fade.
I threw a glance toward Cammie and hers was fading, too. No! I shouted in my dream, No! My head whipped back and forth between the two of them as their images disintegrated into nothing, and then I dropped to my knees in the sand and screamed.
I sat upright on the couch, Cammie’s blanket fisted in my one hand, and I snagged my cellphone and quieted the shriek of the alarm—or was that the scream inside my head?
I brought up Joanne’s number and called her. She answered immediately.
“Is she okay?” I asked without preamble.
“She’s fine. In fact, she’s eating broth right now, and then wants to eat her popsicle.”
Relief washed over me as I brushed hair from my face. “Okay, good. I just woke up. I need to shower, and eat, and then I’ll be back.”
“Take your time, they are going to take her down for a test in about an hour, so if we are not in the room when you get here—don’t freak.”
“Thanks for the heads up. I’ll let you know when I’m on my way.”
I took a shower, sadly missing the four jets from the resort, and then made myself an omelet because it was the quickest and easiest thing in the house to make besides cereal.
I headed down to my car and stowed my laptop back inside. Before I closed the door, I pulled out the small glass bottle that Rye had bought me, and I locked my car doors and headed toward the beach. There was a small rock jetty not too far from my house, and I loved to sit on it and think. I needed a few minutes to do that today.
The wind whipped my hair to and fro as I walked, and I pulled it into a ponytail and tucked it into the back of my shirt to keep it still. A few runners jogged past me, and a woman walked her dog. I made it out to the rocks and carefully walked out halfway to where the rocks were still mostly dry and not slippery from the breaking waves.
As I stood there, I pulled my phone out of my pocket and took a steadying breath as I brought up Andre’s number. I hit send and waited for the phone to ring. It went to voicemail, and I silently cursed him.