by Ivory Quinn
“Not today. I just want you to watch and try to get a feel for the dynamics this afternoon. Tomorrow I’ll expect you to participate, but don’t worry.” He grinned and cupped her cheek. “I’m not going to throw you in the deep end. There’ll be close supervision.”
Resisting the urge to snuggle into his hand like a cat, she swallowed her fear. “I’ll do my best.”
“That’s all I can ask.” He dropped his hand and stood up. “Have you been in a playroom since you left Gabriel?” He asked and she shook her head, trying not to think of the mirrored gym where she’d been broken. She’d stayed at the house a few times but had never had the courage to venture in there.
“Then we’ll go and make sure that just being in the environment isn’t one of your squicks.”
“What on earth are squicks?” She asked, accepting the hand he offered to pull herself upright.
“It’s a fetish slang term for triggers that cause a person to totally freak out.” He grinned. “Everyone has them. They’re covered by the initial consultation when we get new clients.”
“Do you have them?” She asked curiously and then winced. “Sorry, don’t answer. That was a really personal question.”
“It’s okay.” He held the door open for her. “You can ask whatever you like. Yes, I have a squick, but I’m not telling you what it is.” He placed a hand in the small of her back as he escorted her up the hallway, continuing the discussion, and she felt strangely comforted by the small gesture. “In some cases, knowing a person’s squicks can be useful. If a sub is in the right frame of mind and you judge it carefully, introducing a squick can tip them over the edge into subspace.”
“What if people don’t know their squicks?” She asked. “Have you ever had someone totally freak out on you?”
“Not so much freak out.” He chuckled. “I had one client who threw up and promptly passed out when I used a butt plug on him the first time.”
“Lovely.” She shook her head and smiled. It was a whole other world in here.
When he stopped in front of a door and reached for the handle, her heart started beating erratically. “Are you okay?” He asked again and she hesitated, feeling vertiginous. She knew it was crazy and irrational, but a large part of her didn’t want to go in. It was just a room – four walls, a floor and a ceiling. There was nothing that was going to leap out and hurt her. She didn’t know why she was so afraid.
“This is ridiculous.” She snapped, irritated at herself. “Open the door, Blue. I need to own this.”
“That’s my girl.” He smiled proudly and pushed the door open. She stepped in before she could talk herself out of it and waited for the blood to stop rushing in her ears. It was totally different to Gabriel’s playroom. Some of the equipment looked similar, but there were no mirrors and the light wasn’t as bright. The floor was a gorgeous polished concrete, inset with some sort of steel inlay.
“Well I’m not freaking out.” She said helpfully, after a few moments, and Blue chuckled.
“Glad to hear it. What are you feeling?”
“Confused mostly.” She took a few more steps into the room and ran a hand along a wooden bench that was within reach. Everything lacked the polish and gloss of Gabriel’s playroom. This was clearly equipment used to being ridden hard and put away wet, to paraphrase the term.
“What are you confused about?” He asked, following her in and closing the door behind them.
“I feel close to my memories in here and it’s tearing me in two.” She sighed and sat down on the bench, trying to put how she was feeling into words. “I know that what he did to me was wrong, but I loved him. I maybe still do. It’s been six months and it still closes my throat just to think he’s gone, but at the same time I hate him. I hate what he did to me and what happened when he died. I hate that he’s still controlling the shape of my life and I hate that I’ve been altered forever. I hate that he took things from me that will be forever his.”
“What did he take from you?” Blue asked seriously.
“A lot of firsts.” She felt her skin heating as she remembered their sessions in a room like this. “You never forget your firsts, Blue. I cried the first time he fucked me up the arse and all he asked me next morning was why I didn’t say my safe word. I didn’t know then and I still don’t know now. It pains me on some really deep level that it will always be his territory.”
“That’s not true.” Blue swung a muscled leg over the bench and gathered her up, side on. “One day you’ll meet a guy that you want to give these things to, rather than having them taken. That makes all the difference in the world. That lucky bastard will be the true first, in every way that counts.”
“If you think I’m ever letting another man near my arse, you’re not as smart as I gave you credit for.” She didn’t mean it as snappily as it came out, but he still just chuckled.
“You will one day.” He rested his chin on her head. “If for no other reason than to claim it back for yourself. It’s a powerful urge.” She could hear what he wasn’t saying as clearly as if he’d shouted the words. If there came a time she needed someone she could trust to reclaim herself, he’d be there.
“I don’t understand how I got so damaged in just a few months.” She admitted sadly, leaning into his body heat as far as the corset would allow.
“You’re not damaged and you really need to change that way of thinking.” He replied sharply, his arms tightening almost to the point of pain around her. “Red, you’re not here because he broke you. You’re here because he opened your eyes. There’s a very clear distinction. Yes, Master Henway is counselling you through the sexual trauma of having your trust broken, but what you do with me is something else entirely. Being dominant is not an illness. It’s not a pathological symptom of abuse. You’re dominant because it’s in your bones. You were born to this, the same way that everyone else is born to be straight or gay. You might have been on the wrong side of the power exchange with Gabriel, but he gave you what you didn’t know you needed – a way into this world to explore yourself.”
“I’m not sure I can accept that, Blue.” She closed her eyes. “If it’s what I was born to be, why do I feel like a freak for wanting it?”
“Because you’ve been conditioned by society to believe it’s abnormal.” She should have known that would be the answer. “Coming out on any part of the BDSM spectrum is just as difficult as coming out as a homosexual, and much less widely understood or accepted. Would it help if I gave you some research papers I have about the psychology of BDSM?” He offered and she nodded.
“Maybe. Right now I don’t know what to believe. Maybe some evidence in black and white will give me a bit more confidence.”
“I thought you might say that.” He grinned. “Statistical analysis shows that people who engage in kink tend to be highly educated.”
“Really?” She straightened up and looked at him in surprise. “Is that true?”
“Apparently so. They’ve done several studies on it. I’ll dig out the papers for you tonight.” He smoothed a few wisps of hair that had escaped her ponytail. “This is a crazy learning curve for you, Red. I can’t lie. You need to let go of all your misconceptions about this lifestyle if you really want to immerse yourself in it. We’ll talk more about it tomorrow. I think Karen has had long enough to get herself ready.”
“Damn, I almost forgot we had somewhere to be!” She pushed off the bench and straightened her clothes. “Thanks, Blue.”
“No problem. Am I badly creased?”
She ran her eyes up the long, long length of him and grinned. “No. You look stunning.”
“You should see me in a loincloth.” With a cheeky wink, he ushered her out of the door as she laughed.
Chapter seven
When they arrived at the playroom, Karen wasn’t naked as Noelle had been expecting. Instead, the submissive was kneeling on the floor in a corner of the room in a plain white blouse and a black skirt that came to mid-thigh. In her hands she was h
olding up a collar, as if in supplication. Only the slightest tremor in her limbs showed how long she had been waiting in that position and Noelle was impressed. That took some serious discipline and muscle tone.
Wordlessly, Blue took the collar from her hands and buckled it around her neck. Every single muscle in Karen’s body seemed to melt with gratitude, even when he tangled a large hand in her hair and hauled her to the feet by it. Noelle couldn’t take her eyes away, even when he pressed Karen face down onto a nearby table.
“You might as well tell me.” He snapped, flicking into character so fast that Noelle hadn’t even noticed the change. She’d forgotten Karen was into office fantasies. “I know you’ve been a bad little girl this week. What did you do?”
“Please Master, I...” Her voice shook as she stumbled over the words. “I fired three people.”
“You little bitch.” He leaned down close and Noelle couldn’t imagine the intimidation of his sheer physical size, let alone the coldness in his voice. “Maybe I should fire you.”
“Please Master, don’t.” She begged. “I’ll do whatever you want. Anything. Just please don’t fire me.” Her body twitched uncontrollably, her desire to plead warring with her desire to submit and stay.
“I don’t know...” He yanked her head back and she stifled a cry. “You’ve been a nasty bitch this week. I’d have to punish you severely.”
“Then punish me. Please Master. Punish me.” Noelle moved quietly around the edge of the room, drawn by the throatiness of Karen’s voice. The subs face was twisted with pain, but there was so much peace in her eyes that it was jarring.
“I’m going to have to beat you.” He pressed her face back to the table and yanked her skirt up around her waist with his other hand, barely pausing before laying a series of sharp, rapid slaps across her bare buttocks. At first she bore it in silence, but when they continued to come, she cried out in pain.
“I’m sorry I’m sorry I’m sorry...” She burbled, over and over again, the words tripping over themselves in her mouth.
“Not sorry enough, little bitch.” He fisted his hand in her hair. “Stay like that.”
“Yes Master.” She whispered as he walked away, leaving her facedown on the table with her skirt rucked up. The flesh of her backside was red and glowing and Noelle had to fight the urge to run her hands over her own curves, remembering where Gabriel had smacked her. The thought made her uneasy and slightly turned on. Uncomfortably, she watched as Blue returned to the quivering sub with several objects.
“Spread your legs, bitch.” He commanded and Karen instantly obeyed. His power rolled around the room, seeming to smother everything as though it was a tangible presence. He held up a set of chiming metal balls to Noelle. “These are Ben Wa balls.” He explained softly to her. Almost clinically, he separated the folds of Karen’s pussy and pushed the balls in, one by one. He leaned over her again. “If you push these out, I will thrash you to within an inch of your life. Am I understood?”
“Yes Master.” She whispered and he slapped her arse with a sharp crack.
“I can’t hear you.”
“Yes Master!” She cried out.
“That’s better.” He straightened and then just walked away from her. At first Noelle was puzzled and then she realised what he was doing. Karen had no idea what he was doing, where he was or what was going to happen next. The next blow could land from anywhere and the fear and anticipation were winding her up to something extreme.
He came over to her and leaned in close. “You okay?” His lips brushed the shell of her ear and he spoke so quietly there was no way Karen heard it over the sound of her harsh breathing. Noelle nodded in return, her cheek brushing his, and made herself smile. It was a strange experience but she hadn’t expected it to be so interesting. “Good. I’m going to lick you now.” Before she could protest, he swiped his tongue around the curve of her ear and then strode away with a cheeky twinkle in his eye. Well...at least he’d given her warning that time. Honestly...that man and his tongue. Noelle shook her head and suppressed a smile.
Blue returned to Karen and picked up a flogger. It looked soft and the first couple of times he hit her with it, she moaned but didn’t look to be in too much pain. Then the marks started appearing. Noelle stared as tiny red dots from the knots bloomed all over Karen’s skin. It was weirdly beautiful.
When he was done with the flogger, he hauled Karen upright by the hair and told her to strip. She glanced at the items still on the table and blanched, her fingers shaking too badly to undo the buttons of her blouse. Curiously, Noelle shifted sideways to see what was causing her so much fear. Seeing the cane and the leather belt, she understood it totally. She’d enjoyed being restrained, but she’d never let anyone hit her again and certainly not with something like that.
Blue watched impassively as Karen struggled with her clothes, snapping at her to get a move on when she hesitated over the skirt. When the black material hit the floor, he didn’t wait for her to straighten, catching her by the neck and marching her across the room to a large X-shaped cross on the wall. Cuffing her to the cross-pieces, he returned to the table and seemed to ponder the two implements he’d left there. Karen’s breath was coming in short gasps as she waited for whatever he was going to do to her and Noelle supposed that was the point.
Finally he selected the cane, experimentally swishing it through the air as he rolled his wrist to loosen it. Karen froze at the sound and closed her eyes as he came to stand behind her. “Tell me how many people you fired this week, little bitch.” His voice was quiet and dangerous, all beast, rolling in the dark undertones of his velvet voice.
“Three.” She flinched as he swished the cane again.
“You will count.” He brought the cane down and Karen cried out, sagging against the cuffs as she sobbed out the number one. Her skin had instantly come up in a welt, a neat, red line straight across her buttocks. Without mercy he struck again, laying out another welt neatly below the first. Karen was weeping loudly but she managed to call out two. Blue laid the third welt right across the top of her thighs and even Noelle winced. That had to hurt brutally. Karen counted out three, barely comprehensible, but Blue wasn’t impressed.
“That’s right. Whine and moan like a good little bitch.” He said coldly. “How do you think those people you fired felt?” He pushed his face in close. “You’re a disgrace to this office. I still think I should fire you.”
“No...Master don’t, please. Don’t fire me.” Mascara was running in trails down her cheeks, mingling with snot and sweat, yet she was still upright and begging. Noelle was in awe. This woman was owning her fear...facing up to it without blinking. She finally began to understand that perhaps submitting was the bravest thing of all. It took courage to beg for more of what you hated because you needed to be liberated.
Setting the cane down on the table, Blue uncuffed Karen from the cross and pointed wordlessly to the corner she’d been in when they arrived. She hurried across and dropped to her knees, settling against the cold floor without complaint, while Blue returned the flogger and cane to a case on the far side of the room. Beckoning Noelle over, he handed her a packet of matches and asked her to light a series of green candles in jars along a shelf by the case. There were other colours, but he only wanted the green ones.
“Are they special candles?” She asked curiously, noticing the delicate aroma of some of them.
“Yes. Feel the wax before you light one.” He suggested. “It’s blended with high grade mineral oils so that it melts at a lower temperature. Blue is the coolest, then green, then orange, then yellow and then white is the hottest.” He glanced over his shoulder at Karen kneeling silently in the corner and lowered his voice. “On a good day Karen can take yellow, but she’s not at her best and I’m not going to push her much further with pain today.”
As suggested, Noelle stuck her finger into one of the cold candles and it pressed it in up to the knuckle. It really was soft wax and wouldn’t take much melting
. She didn’t know that wax could be altered by anything other than heat. Something else to look up later.
Lighting the rest of the green candles, she turned to see Blue laying out plastic sheeting on the floor, presumably to catch whatever wax dripped off Karen so they didn’t have to scrape it up later. Seeing the candles were lit, he grabbed a couple of coils of rope, stepped onto the plastic and tapped his foot. Karen, by now totally attuned to his body, crawled across on her hands and knees to kneel obediently at his feet. He used his foot to nudge her forward and she fell onto her arms, coming to rest on all fours.
Pulling her forward so that her back was flat, he spread her arms and legs wide and then tied her elbows and knees together. It couldn’t have been comfortable and it left her obscenely on display for anyone that felt like looking. Tucking the ropes beneath her, he returned to the case and pulled out several items. The first was a butt plug, which he lubed up and stuck right in. Karen had stopped crying, but she still protested at the intrusion. Next came strands of metal chain, with what turned out to be clamps on the ends of them. He clamped her breasts while she tried to control her breathing and then clamped the third strand between her legs. Noelle stared. Surely he couldn’t have clamped her clitoris? That seemed extreme and cruel and, from the noises she was making, Karen wasn’t happy about it either. There was a loop connected to all three strands which Blue forced Karen to hold in her mouth, and suddenly the ingenuity of the system became obvious to Noelle. If Karen so much as flinched or jerked her head, she was going to yank on the tenderest parts of her body. Cruel but clever. To compound it, he tied a ball gag in her mouth over the chain so she couldn’t even close her jaw.
“Look at you.” Blue stripped off his jacket and waistcoat, laying them on a nearby stack. “Stuffed in every orifice like the pathetic little slut you are.” He made quick work of the shirt too, leaving him bare-chested. He kicked off his shoes and socks and Noelle hoped he’d lose the trousers too, but they stayed on. Clearly he didn’t mind getting wax on them. “You should feel ashamed of yourself.” He continued taunting. “Put on display like this. I bet you like it. If I decide not to bother firing you, perhaps I’ll turn you into my little cum slut. I’ll use every one of your holes until they’re raw, whenever I feel like it. Maybe I’ll put a dog bed under my desk for you and you can sit in it and ponder your non-existence whenever I’m not getting you to suck my cock.”