“Do you miss it?” he asked.
That was the million-dollar question. “It was a very big part of my life. Over ninety-nine percent if you want to get mathematical.”
“I don’t want to trivialize what I did, but I just can’t imagine how being a robot soldier with no emotions can possibly be better than what you are now.”
“It wasn’t my choice,” she said softly. “I should have had a choice. I should have never been cast out of Heaven in the first place. Then to have a demon’s actions keep me from ever being able to enter again was too much. Not to sound cliché, but it wasn’t fair.”
Kier looked at the ground. She didn’t want to hurt him, but if he was going to stick around, this conversation was inevitable. “And you still want to be with me?”
Muriel sat on the bed and cradled her head in her hands as she tried to think of the right words to say.
One month ago, she had been furious with Kier. Determined to destroy him, no matter the cost to herself. She was ready to throw away her job, let him destroy her house and very possibly hurt someone she knew just to hurt her. She was willing to give all this for vengeance.
How had it all changed so quickly?
“You were supposed to be evil,” she said weakly. She thought back to that first morning in her kitchen. He had complimented her cooking. What demon did that? “I keep trying to convince myself that I can do this. That I can kill Azazel and make it out alive. I have this crazy idea that, if I manage to pull it off, you’re my reward.”
Kier sat next to her on the small bed. One of his large hands intertwined with hers. It was shocking how such a small touch could be so comforting. She laughed. “This is what I’m talking about. Evil demons don’t hold hands with someone to comfort them.”
“I hate to tell you this, but I’m not a great catch. I’m unemployed and currently in the middle of an existential crisis. I have no friends, and more people want me dead than don’t. But I can promise you that I will do everything in my power to keep you safe.” His eyes were bottomless black pools as they stared into hers. “I still stand by what I said in the desert. We can go away tonight. Run so far no one will ever find us. This prophecy is self-fulfilling. If you’d never heard it, it would never happen. You’re being ordered to put yourself at risk for the same people who abandoned you. You don’t need to do anything you don’t want to do. That is the beauty of free will.”
“This is my will. This is my choice. If I can help people, I will. It’s what I was born to do and it’s what makes me happy.”
Kier stood from the bed and removed his hand from hers. He ran his hands through his hair in agitation.
Muriel waited for the arguing. For him to order her to stay.
Instead, he turned away from her. He walked into the bathroom and started running the water.
“You’re showering?”
“I would rather take you to bed, but I’m a bit dirty at the moment. As much as I know you would love to fuck in the blood of your enemies, I’m a bit too civilized for your tastes.” He threw her a small smile over his shoulder.
Muriel smiled back, but she was far from amused. She knew he wanted to say more.
For reasons she couldn’t wrap her head around, it bothered her when he said “fuck.” It felt as if they were doing so much more than just fucking.
Maybe not making love, but something much more spiritual than just “having sex.” Whatever they were doing, it definitely wasn’t fucking.
She had lived her entire existence for the most part alone. How could she become so dependent on him so quickly?
Muriel climbed under the covers and closed her eyes as the steam from the bathroom filled the room.
She tried to focus her mind enough to relax and drift into sleep, but all she could think of was Kier naked in the next room. She rolled onto her side and faced the wall. She tried to close her eyes and count sheep, but nothing worked.
The water shut off and she forced herself to remain staring at the wall. He laughed to himself. “Are you not looking at me now?”
She covered her face with her pillow in embarrassment. “I think I should be able to go a whole five minutes without looking.”
“What’s the fun in that?” At the sound of a glass being removed from her small kitchenette, she turned to see what he was up to but was met with the sight of an empty room. He had moved beyond her line of vision into the bathroom.
“What are you up to?”
“I would tell you, but you aren’t going to like it.”
Muriel rolled her eyes at his vague response. “Are you seriously going to keep it a secret?”
Kier emerged from the bathroom with just a towel wrapped around his waist. A stray drop of water dripped down his well-defined abs, and for a moment Muriel forgot what she was asking about.
Then she saw the red liquid in the glass he held. Before she could protest, he held up a halting hand. “I know. I know. Just hear me out. Things got heavy today. You need to keep up your strength.”
Muriel sat up on the bed and pushed the covers away. “Why would you want me to drink that stuff again? The first time royally screwed me over and the last time I drank it I practically raped you!”
Kier grinned at that last part. “Well, that seems too strong. You were just a bit more frisky than usual.”
Muriel raised an eyebrow. “Frisky?”
“You heard me. It healed you when you needed it and you’ve been stronger ever since. I dare you to deny it.” Her silence said everything. “I know that I never should have forced you to drink my blood when we first met, but we both were different back then. Not to sound like a drug pusher, but since you are already ruined and have drunk my blood voluntarily since then, what’s the harm in drinking it a few more times? Just to keep your strength up.”
Muriel wished she had a quick comeback to shut him down. She wished she could feel outrage and throw the blood right back in his face, but she couldn’t see any flaws in his logic. “I feel like I’m in some after-school special,” she muttered. “I can’t drink it.”
“You’ve lived your entire life being told that an angel can’t drink demon blood, but I’m not really a demon anymore and you are not really an angel. The prophecy screwed you over enough by singling you out for this job. The least you can do is even out the playing field.”
“Even if I drink it now, who’s to say when I will actually get a chance to kill Azazel? It could be years from now. I don’t want to become dependent on your blood or you.”
She’d been told the reasons to stay away from demonic blood her whole existence, but her distaste for it went further than the stories told to scare angels. She had heard about the fallen angels with a blood addiction. The once mighty could focus only on that magic elixir that temporarily gave them the strength and power that they had taken for granted.
They would forget to eat or bathe. All their time and energy would be focused on finding another demon, willing or not, to provide them a fix. Free will was a hell of a thing to deal with if an angel had lived centuries only doing what they were told.
The sudden freedom to choose often led to bad decisions. Looking back, Muriel now realized that her drive for vengeance had been the one thing that kept her from excess. As mind-blowing and body-numbing as the sex with Kier was, she had learned self-control in her time living as a mortal. It was the only thing that kept her sane whenever he was so close to her, and she needed all the sanity she could get at this point.
“You drank it on your own before,” he said.
“That was different. I was freaked out about the prophecy, not to mention in excruciating pain. I thought I would never see you again. My one chance to see what would happen. Now that you’re here, I can tap a vein whenever I need to. I don’t want to make this a habit.”
“Just do me a favor and drink it this once. If it seems like you start to crave it or act irrationally, we can rethink our plan. I mean it when I say I want you as strong as possible. I’m he
re to protect you, and if sharing my blood will do that, then that’s what I’m going to do.”
Muriel bit her lip as she contemplated his words. He had a point. She did need her strength.
She had held her own against the demons earlier, but none of the ones she fought had been particularly high level. They had been stronger than her. It was only her training and years of experience on a battlefield that allowed her to take down so many of the low-level demons.
Azazel was no low-level demon.
Muriel took the glass from Kier. “You sure you aren’t just getting me to drink this so you’ll get laid?”
One of Kier’s big hands rested on her bare knee and slowly inched higher. “Do I need to get you drunk?”
“Cocky much?” Before he responded, Muriel drank the entire glass in two large gulps.
Immediately she felt the warmth spread from her throat to the tips of her fingers and toes.
“Does it feel the same?” asked Kier softly.
Muriel closed her eyes as she focused on the warmth that shot through her. She didn’t want to enjoy the seduction of his blood, but the euphoria that came with it was undeniable.
She remembered that he asked a question. “It’s different from the first time.” She leaned back until her back touched the sheets. Her skin felt too sensitive, the fabric of her shirt much too irritating. “It’s not as dark. More giggly.” Her words were emphasized with a snort of laughter.
She was so hot. She started to take off her shirt. Kier hungrily gazed at her bared skin. She licked her lips as she smiled up at him. “Are you just going to stare or are you going to join me?”
A bold hand reached out to snatch away his towel. He was on top of her before it ever touched the ground.
CHAPTER TWENTY-TWO
Muriel woke to a pounding on the door. She and Kier were up in an instant, both quickly arming themselves: she with her sword and him with a knife.
“Muriel, are you awake?” Ava’s voice came from the other side of the wood.
Muriel relaxed as she set her sword down. “I’m awake now!” she called back.
“Samuel thinks there’s been a breakthrough. Meet us downstairs when you can.”
Kier smiled at Muriel. “I’m a bit let down. I would’ve liked to see you fight off a pack of demons buck-ass naked.”
Muriel looked down at her state of undress. She hadn’t even thought to put clothes on. “I don’t like getting blood in hard to wash places. Besides, aren’t you worried about the crown jewels down there?” She pointed down to his slowly stiffening cock.
“It isn’t usually such a large target. You just seem to have that effect on me.”
“Right.” She smirked as she turned to get dressed.
Though the immediate effects had mostly worn off, she was still reeling from the rush of power from Kier’s blood.
Not to mention the sex. Good grief, she never realized how crazy sex could be if she let down all her inhibitions. The things he had done to her—things she had gladly let him do to her—had to be illegal in all fifty states.
Muriel blushed at the memory. There had been times when he had dominated her, leaning her over the bed and whispering commands in her ear from behind.
Later in the evening, she had given him the same treatment, tying his hands to the bedframe with a shirt while she did whatever she wanted with his body.
It was a good thing she’d never been too fond of that shirt because it was now in pieces on her floor.
When she turned around, Kier was fully dressed. He slipped his dagger into the back waistband of his jeans and tucked his black t-shirt over the handle to hide it.
He didn’t need to hide his weapons while on the base, considering everyone packed heat of some type, but she supposed it was habit for him.
She dressed similarly in jeans and a black tank top. Her weapon of choice was her sword, but she strapped her knife belt around her waist to give her some backup choices.
She missed her gun at times, but it was an impractical way to kill a demon. Guns were better for humans who were too slow and weak to stand much of a chance in a fight. The gun would slow them down long enough to allow the human time to run. Her sword would make sure the demon never gave chase again.
There were definite perks to having her strength back.
After she strapped on her black boots, she followed Kier out into the hallway. Once they reached the lobby of the old school, they saw a small gathering of Samuel, Ava, Jared, and Esmeralda.
All of them looked to Muriel as she approached. Ava looked decidedly nervous; Esmeralda quickly averted her gaze from Muriel. “What’s going on?” she asked.
Samuel spoke first. “Esmeralda and I have been working on something. We had no idea if it would work at first and didn’t want to tell you. Now we’re both thinking it’s going to work.”
Muriel raised a worried eyebrow. It wasn’t like Samuel to ramble. He usually got right to the point.
Esmeralda finished for him. “We think we found a way to get you into Hell.”
Muriel carefully kept her expression blank. She felt Kier stiffen next to her. “How?”
“Demons can get in and out of Hell whenever they want.” She pointedly looked at Kier. “With so many new resources at our disposal after the fight last night, we think we can open the doorway.”
Muriel crossed her arms in front of her and glared at them skeptically. “You think you can harness the power of the dead demons to get me into Hell? That is the craziest thing I have ever heard.” In all her time as an angel, she had never known anyone, no matter how powerful the witch or sorceress, to siphon power from a dead demon.
Muriel looked at Kier, expecting to see the same look of disbelief mirrored on his face. His stoic expression told another story. “This doesn’t sound crazy to you?”
He looked down at the floor. “I’ve heard of witches doing similar spells to temporarily gain the use of a demon’s hellfire. I suppose it could work for using a demon’s powers to open the doorway to Hell.”
Muriel looked to Samuel. “You’re telling me that in just a few hours I could be in Hell?”
“I’m just saying it’s a possibility. We don’t really know if it will work and Esmeralda has never worked a spell like this. We could need to hunt more demons down or arrange them in a certain way to get the spell to work. The chances of success aren’t really—”
Ava nudged him with her elbow, signaling him to stop talking.
Seeing Samuel so unsure of himself did nothing to set Muriel’s mind at ease.
Esmeralda spoke up. “We’re at least going to try it. If it works, we can take a step back to reevaluate.”
“Kier can open a door. We can just use that when the time comes,” said Muriel.
Esmeralda shook her head. “I am not relying on that demon to get us in and out of Hell. This is just an experiment.”
Kier grabbed Muriel’s hand and led her away from the expectant gazes of her friends. As they rounded a corner, he stopped abruptly, causing her to dig in her heels to avoid running into him. “You can’t go through that door,” he warned.
Muriel nervously swallowed. “I’m not going anywhere now. Besides, it isn’t something I want to do, but it has to be done.”
“No, it doesn’t. How many times can I tell you that you don’t have to listen to any of them anymore? You’re not an angel. Your people didn’t want you anymore, remember?”
The truth of the words stung. “This is about more than just me. Azazel is going to destroy all realms if he succeeds in merging Hell with Earth, you and I included. Besides, he made this personal the second he put that price on my head and sent demons to my home. This is going to happen. I might not be happy about it and I might not make it out alive, but I am going to kill the bastard. I thought you were okay with this.”
“It’s one thing to say that I’m okay. It’s another to actually watch you walk into Hell! Did you really expect me to just sit back and watch you kill yourself
?”
Muriel felt as though he’d just slapped her. Kier might not have always agreed with her, but he had at least been supportive. Had he ever intended to let her go after Azazel?
“Why don’t we wait to see if this even works before we finish this.” Muriel’s eyes made it clear that they would pick up where they left off sooner rather than later.
As they both walked back to the lobby, fuming for different reasons, no one would look Muriel in the eye. It was obvious they heard everything. Her anger toward Kier intensified. He couldn’t have even taken her out of earshot before he announced that he didn’t think she stood a chance?
“Let’s get this over with,” she said to Esmeralda.
The sorceress nodded and knelt to place five candles on the floor. With a piece of chalk, she drew a pentagram; each of the candles represented a point of the star.
Muriel scoffed at the cliché. “A pentagram? I’ve never seen a pentagram used in any spell. Ever.”
Esmeralda merely smiled. “You’ve never seen a spell like this.”
Jared spoke for the first time. “Should we be doing something? Moving some bodies or sacrificing a chicken?”
Esmeralda stood up and wiped her hands on her black pants, not caring about the white streaks left behind. “There has been more than enough blood spilled on this ground for the spell to work.”
Kier remained a silent and brooding presence behind Muriel, refusing to participate but not leaving either.
“We don’t need to hold hands or anything, do we?” asked Samuel.
Ava laughed. “I’ve never seen a spell that required a group of people to hold hands. Sex maybe, but never hand holding.”
Jared shot her his most charming smile. “I would be good with that.”
Ava wrapped her arm around Samuel’s waist. “I wouldn’t be.” She leaned in closer to Samuel.
Samuel stood ramrod straight. His gaze was fixated on Esmeralda as she let her chin fall to her chest and started a low chant.
The air kicked up. Muriel’s hair whipped around her face. The fire in the candles suddenly shot up about a foot. Muriel gripped her sword tightly as everyone stared intently at the pentagram.
Binding Fire: Paranormal Romance (Bad Boys of the Underworld Book 3) Page 20