by CB Conwy
That's a first. There just might be hope for you still.
Pietr's attempt to punish him for that remark was a kiss. Which, as revenge went, was rather pathetic. In every other sense, though, it was quite nice.
***
Now that Pietr had finally told him about his job, it raised more questions. Pietr didn't want to go back, but he couldn't let anybody know how he felt about his work.
Who's doing your job while you're away? Matt asked his mate. He was trying to be matter-of-fact, pushing what he felt about Pietr's job out of the way. There were only so many feelings he could face in a couple of days. Right now it seemed easier to be practical.
Pietr was reluctant to even talk about it. Nobody, really. We have some routines by now, and everybody follows them. I think I'm stretching it, though. I was already asked to come back while we were in the city.
Then go back.
There was both outrage and disgust in Pietr's mind when Matt made that suggestion. Didn't you understand what I did?
Yes, I understand. Been there, remember?
Pietr winced, and Matt instantly regretted his words. In spite of his disgust, it hurt every time he felt Pietr's pain. He hurried to continue.
I also understand that it would have been worse if you hadn't been there.
Pietr was still protesting, but Matt didn't give in.
Can you honestly say that things are better when you're not there?
No. Pietr was reluctant, but he couldn't lie.
Are they better when you're there?
Yes.
Then you're going back. If not for any other reason than to figure out how to clean this mess up.
Pietr kept protesting, but Matt was adamant. And Pietr grudgingly had to admit that he could probably do more good trying to make the harvesting as gentle as possible. Matt pretended not to notice the flicker of a thought when Pietr admitted to himself that he would probably be killed if he refused to do his job.
***
So much had happened within the last couple of months that Matt could barely contain it anymore. It wasn't so much a matter of his world being turned upside down as his world changing so many times that he wasn't even sure what was up and down anymore. First he had been scared of the Himika, and then he had come to the realization that Pietr was his mate and Aki and Robbie his good friends. Now he was back to the beginning. They had had at least some kind of reconciliation, but Pietr's confession meant that Matt was faced with his original fear, and he didn't know what or who to trust anymore.
Of course, Pietr felt his doubt, and his mate insisted on talking about it.
So, what do you want to know? It seemed that Pietr was determined to get everything out in the open now that they had started talking.
Matt didn't even know where to begin. Then he asked a question that had bothered him for a long time.
Robbie was really scared when I talked to him back in the beginning about the kidnappings. I got the impression that he didn't like them either. Why don't you just speak up?
Robbie told you that? There was surprise in Pietr's inner voice.
Well, I got it out of him; I'm really stubborn that way. So, why don't you just refuse to do it?
Pietr shook his head. We can't.
That's ridiculous.
No, you don't understand -- we don't work that way. Himiko society is strictly hierarchical; everything depends on how strong you are. The stronger you are, the more you have to say in important questions. And Robbie wasn't considered to be powerful at all.
But, still -- you could just say no. You don't have to talk everybody else into agreeing with you.
Pietr just shook his head again. No. It would be seen as treason against the community. And to us, the community is everything. Interacting is the way we stay sane, and that's why it's really important to keep that solidarity. Apart from that, it's nearly impossible to disobey orders.
Because it's hard to hide anything from mind readers?
Exactly. You can shield, but only for so long -- and only if you're strong enough to keep it up for a long time, which most Himika aren't.
But you did so yourself when you hid your job for me!
Pietr flinched mentally, but he still answered Matt's question. That wasn't easy, believe me. And I don't think many Himika can do it.
So, you're compelled to go with it, even though you don't agree?
Yes. There was a firm conviction in Pietr's mind
It didn't convince Matt that Pietr really hadn't had a choice. But it did convince him that Pietr thought so.
That fact didn't sit well with Matt. Following orders was something he despised. He had a feeling that there were even more details that Pietr wasn't telling him. He didn't ask, though. Pietr had had good reason not to tell him in the first place. Matt was well aware that his life could be in danger if he let anybody know what he had found out.
He tried hard to ignore the little voice nagging him with the fact that he also risked finding out more about his mate; facts that could mean that the precarious balance they had found in their relationship would be torn up once again. Matt had insisted that they belonged together, and he wasn't ready to face any facts that could disturb that conviction. It was fragile enough as it was.
***
Pietr took Matt's advice, and a month later, the Himiko slowly started going back to work. Not full time and not in the city or at the collecting station (Matt hadn't been able to hide his shudder when he learned the Himiko name for the converted gym where he had met his mate for the first time), but Pietr went to meetings at the clinic and around the compound.
He wasn't exactly happy about being back in the job he hated so much, but he did do something good: he managed to decrease the number of humans being harvested, citing as his reason the humans' difficulties in learning how to use their new abilities and the duration of their training.
Matt hadn't realized before now that he had been exceptionally quick in learning to use his skills. Aki hadn't known, since his mentor hadn't worked with any humans before. And Pietr had just been proud of everything Matt did, so Matt had never found out that his speed was anything out of the ordinary.
It did explain why none of the successfully implanted humans had returned to normal society yet. Pietr reassured him that they were in training facilities, being trained like Aki had trained Matt. It just was going a lot slower.
That was an immense relief to Matt. Pietr's regret about what he had done was very real. Still, it was easier to forgive somebody who wasn't a mass murderer.
Pietr didn't know if he should laugh or cry when he heard that thought.
Sorry, baby. I didn't mean to put it like that.
Well, you're right. At least I'm not a mass murderer.
Matt didn't know what to say. Pietr's job was still a huge obstacle between them, even if they were trying to move on. To Matt, the problem was both the truth about Pietr's job and the fact that he had been hiding it to Matt. It felt like a betrayal, no matter how hard Matt tried to ignore it.
***
After almost six weeks, Pietr finally deemed Matt ready to meet other people again. Matt had a hunch that Pietr had been somewhat reluctant to share him; he'd caught a hint now and then in his mate's mind. He hadn't said anything to Pietr, though. Even Matt acknowledged that there were a few things you shouldn't be mocked for. Loving and protecting your mate was one of those.
I think Aki has something to say to you.
They were hanging out, waiting for Robbie and Aki to come over. The potatoes were already on the grill, and the meat and the salad sat in the fridge.
Yeah? What? Matt absentmindedly fingered Pietr's shirt.
Robbie wouldn't say.
He wouldn't? Should I be worried? Matt frowned.
More like incredibly annoyed, according to Robbie.
Matt decided to let it go until he could actually talk to Aki. The fabric of Pietr's shirt really was q
uite thin, doing nothing to hide the tight body under it. They just might have time...
No, we don't. They're only two minutes away, and I have much more stamina than that. I, for one, don't come as soon as I'm touched.
Matt really thought that Pietr should have learned the consequences of teasing by now. The Himiko certainly would have had fewer bruises if he had.
Ouch! You really must be into spanking, baby. There's no other explanation for all this excessive violence.
No, you just induce punishment. And for your information: I hadn't had sex for weeks, and you're hot. Very hot. Their bodies still knew what they needed. Matt took the fingering a bit lower.
Yeah? I do think maybe we could...
"Hi, guys!" Robbie's voice from outside the house was just as cheerful as always. The joy in it was almost enough to make up for the interruption.
"Hi, Matt! Oh." Robbie looked from Matt to Pietr. Then he grinned. "You do know that we're the ones who're supposed to get caught like that all the time, right? Newly bonded and all."
"I hope you do. Well, not get caught, but, you know..." Talking about your friends' sex life suddenly seemed a tiny bit awkward. Robbie just laughed and pulled Matt into a warm embrace. The hug felt surprisingly good; Matt hadn't realized how much he had missed his doctor.
And friend, I hope?
It was weird using his mind to talk to anyone besides Pietr again, but it felt okay.
You know that.
"I do, but big guy here has had some problems." Robbie turned to Aki, who was lingering by the door.
Matt's mentor had a look of insecurity on his face, which was completely out of character for him. Matt looked from Robbie to Aki. Before Matt could ask anything, Aki stepped forward.
"I'd like to apologize." Aki's voice was a little stiff.
"What on earth would you have to apologize for?"
Aki stared at the ground. "I'm having a bit of trouble sharing Robbie. It's not easy."
Matt had his arms around Aki before his mentor could meet his eyes.
It's all right, Aki. You're fine.
The Himiko's body tensed up as he was touched, and he instinctively pulled back mentally as Matt reached out to talk to him.
Shh. You're okay. Matt held on, refusing to let Aki go either physically or mentally, and slowly, the Himiko relaxed.
It's hard.
There was a whole new level of vulnerability in Aki's mind, and it made Matt squeeze him tightly in compassion.
You'll make it. Bend, don't break, okay? You're just too stubborn for your own good.
"Not to mention possessive, of course. And single-minded." Without any ceremony, Pietr pushed Matt away and gave Aki a big hug, slapping his back.
Hey! Sharing a heartfelt moment, here. Matt couldn't help laughing, though; his mate just wasn't one for stilted displays of affection.
Robbie just shook his head. "Mates. Can't live without them. Fortunately, the closeness makes it easier to kill them."
Aki frowned, clearly not getting the joke. Matt cast a look at Robbie and tried not to snicker. They understood each other perfectly well.
Matt took a closer look at Robbie. He was quietly glowing, and it was a really good look on him.
"I guess I don't have to ask about your head. You seem fine, but don't overdo it. How's your shoulder?" Robbie switched easily into physician mode.
"I thought you were off work today?"
Robbie just raised his eyebrows and waited.
"Okay, okay. Yes, my head's fine, cheek's fine, the shoulder is still sore, but that's apparently perfectly normal for 'a man my age.'" The nurse's words at the check-up still stung.
"Yeah? I can have a look at it."
Before Aki could get out the words he had opened his mouth to say, Robbie held up a hand. "Look, not heal."
Aki reluctantly nodded.
The poor guy was completely helpless in Robbie's hands.
"Let Pietr hold you. That always makes it easier." Matt did as he was told, and then he had the strange feeling of Robbie being present in his mind and his body. It was slightly claustrophobic, but it was Robbie. That made all the difference.
Robbie pulled away and nodded, a satisfied expression on his face. "It's healing well, if a bit slowly, but that's not unusual for a clavicle fracture. You'll be as good as new before long."
"Good. Now, can we go eat?" Pietr was hungry, and now that his brief concern about his mate had been taken away, food was the only thought on his mind.
"Yes, we can eat! God, you're such a Neanderthal." Matt gave Pietr a kiss.
"No, no, Himika don't have those."
Matt frowned. "You don't? But how..."
"I never told you about the missing link? Then you better behave; I just might condescend to explain it to you sometime."
Matt closed his eyes and took a deep breath to find some much-needed patience. God, he hated aliens.
***
Aliens weren't unanimously crazy about him, either. That was a lesson he learned in the months following his recovery.
Matt had set up his firm in the cabin, and it worked out well. Because of Pietr's salary and his own insurance (which had compensated him twice in the last six months, once for the "kidnapping" and once for the attack), they were financially secure. That meant that he only had to work on the projects that really interested him. Of course, he couldn't go that big; he simply didn't have either the manpower or the technical staff necessary for that. But he won two minor projects which were both very interesting, and he got a special mention for his contribution to a competition to make a footbridge in the north of England.
Now and then, Pietr had to go away for meetings. They had learned how to survive being apart now, but if it lasted for more than ten hours or so, they started getting restless (Pietr insisted fervently that it wasn't just him getting horny). So if Pietr had to spend the night somewhere else, Matt followed him.
He quickly found out that the Himika didn't have a clue as to what to think of him.
Hel-lo, the secretary at a meeting in Baltimore had greeted Matt when the secretary picked up Pietr at the hotel, projecting his thoughts as clearly as you would to a three-year old. Well, if three-year old Himika could communicate mentally, which they of course couldn't.
Hello. Nice meeting you. Matt kept himself meticulously shielded, only letting a minuscule part of his energy through his shield.
Oh, he's got such a good grasp of communicating! The secretary had beamed at Pietr as if Matt's mate were the proud parent responsible for that.
Well, thank you.
Matt reserved the mental equivalent of raised eyebrows for Pietr only, and Pietr had to work hard to keep his amusement out of their communication with the secretary.
You're evil, you know that, right?
But his mate didn't seem to think that it was a bad idea for Matt to keep himself back, and so Matt kept working on his shielding. After a while, he mastered the deception to such an extent that he was sure he could have passed for an ordinary human. Of course that meant that every Himiko he met thought that he was dumber than an ostrich, but that paid off, too; more than once Matt was able to tell Pietr some vital information that a careless Himiko hadn't bothered to keep shielded from the dim human.
Then there were the Himika who thought he was an abomination. They never dared think it out loud -- Pietr was much too influential for them to risk that -- but their minds were filled with a mixture of pity for his mate and deep revulsion at the thought that a Himiko had bonded with a human. Fortunately, there weren't that many of those. After meeting two very memorable Himika purists in Chicago, Matt wasn't sure he could keep from losing his temper in any future encounters.
Apart from such infrequent encounters, Matt kept pretty much to himself and his Himiko friends. Interacting with humans was something in the past, and he had no regrets there. Matt and Pietr normally used commercial airlines, but apart from that, they wer
en't in much contact with anyone but Himika, being rushed in private cars from the plane to the meeting or the hotel and back. It suited Matt just fine; he was dead tired of the pitying and hateful human stares. He didn't even pay much attention to the news anymore. All the media told the same stories about human stupidity and steadily less-concealed hatred toward the Himika. Matt was beyond caring.
6
They had been to another of Pietr's meetings, getting back very early in the morning. A delayed plane had postponed their return to the cabin until after midnight. After sleeping in, they had a long lunch and went for a drive around the compound.
They hadn't expected to see Robbie and Aki at their cabin when they came back.
"We have something for you to see." Aki looked serious. "Have you been following what humans are saying on the Internet about the Himika?"
Matt shook his head.
"I never do," Pietr added before opening the door and letting their friends inside.
"You're not going to like this." Robbie took out his computer and turned it on, looking up a website.
Matt froze when he saw the first images. They were of him.
Apparently, a student had been filming the lecture Matt had been giving at the university when he was harvested. The clip started when the door opened behind him, revealing the three recruiting Himika.
Matt watched in fascinated horror as he kept on talking without noticing anything out of order. Then he turned around and saw the Himika. In the movie, he blanched, frozen to the floor as a Himiko stretched out a hand and ordered him to come with them.
"I was so scared." His voice didn't sound right.
Pietr put his arms around Matt, but the Himiko couldn't penetrate the numb feeling that seemed to permeate Matt's mind.
Then the angle of the movie shifted, following him as the Himika escorted him down the hallways and all the way to the car. The images had to have been taken from the security cameras on campus. Someone had clearly registered what was happening, because as Matt neared the car, the camera zoomed in on his face. There was pure, naked fear in his eyes, and the memory was so vivid that Matt felt his throat constrict even now. He watched himself choke on the film, the Himiko lifting his head to enable him to breathe as his body went slack.