“And the husband?”
“On his way,” Doris says. I deflate into the bed, my legs wobbling when it subsides, and Doctor Trigiani wastes no time getting me onto the bed to check my cervix.
She places her hand on my leg reassuringly. “Okay, Darcy, it’s time.”
I shake my head, glancing at the door. “N-No, he has to be here.”
“This baby is waiting for no one, honey. It’s time to push.”
“It’s okay, Darcy,” Doris says, rubbing my hand with her gloved one. I stare at her, wild with exhaustion as the professionals prepare the tray, and the table, helping place my legs into stirrups. “He’ll be here soon.”
***
The volume of my wails far exceed Doctor Trigiani’s orders, which she must bark out in order to retain my attention. My head is heavy, my chin pressed into my chest as I push, feeling as though unconsciousness is only a few seconds away. I drop my head back to breathe when there’s a commotion at the door.
Tears spring to my eyes and I blubber at the sight of Benjamin in his suit, drenched head to toe. Someone comes to force him to leave, and I panic.
“No! What are they—”
“Focus, Darcy. Focus. Another contraction is coming.”
“He has to change before he comes in,” Doris says comfortingly in my ear, calm as hell. “It’s procedure.”
“I need him here!” I sob, losing hold of myself altogether. “I need him—”
I crush Doris’s fingers, gritting my teeth enough to hurt when the doctor’s warnings hit me full swing, stealing the breath from my lungs.
I don’t know how anyone can bear this.
I want to force them to give me the drug. I need the damn drug.
“Oh god! Oh god! It hurts!”
I moan, tasting my tears. Doris’s fingers slip from my grasp, and someone else’s replace them. Benjamin is suddenly right there, right next to me, inches away from my face. There’s no fear in his eyes. I can’t imagine how much is in mine.
In no control of my emotions, I sob loudly, relieved when he pushes the wet hair from my face, whispering to me.
“I’m here, baby. It’s going to be okay.”
“I’m scared, Ben,” I tell him, my body pulsing with pain. “I’m being torn in two. I wasn’t before, but I am now. I-I…don’t know if I have it in me.”
“We’re at the finish line, baby. You’re almost there. He’s almost here.”
I close my eyes, my body warning me of more.
“We’re close, Darcy. You’re beginning to crown,” the doctor says. “I need you to push big here. Push!”
I do as she says, and my growl of pain crescendos into a war-cry kind of bellow.
“The head is out!”
I sigh with relief and drop my head back. Benjamin laughs nervously, kissing my cheek. “Breathe, Darce. You’re almost there.”
“Push! Push!”
I’m blind. Everything is a static, gray, blurry mess.
A tiny infant’s wail fills the room, the pain having reached its peak. I’m on the decline now. I sink into the mattress in sheer exhaustion.
“Oh my god,” Benjamin says in awe, kissing my flushed skin tenderly. “You did it. Holy shit, baby.”
It’s when I try to laugh and nothing comes out that I begin to sense something is wrong.
“Darcy?”
I hear the change in his tone, a slight hint of fear in his voice. Suddenly, Doctor Trigiani’s speaking over him, ordering the nurse, “Get him out of the room.”
“What? What’s happening?”
“Your wife has lost a lot of blood. She is under duress, Mr. Scott. I need you out, now.”
“Darcy?”
His voice is only fear now. I can’t open my eyes anymore. I’m tired.
I can’t hear the baby anymore. My baby.
“Darcy!”
***
A steady sound of a pulse echoes through my ears.
Coming to my senses, I attempt to wiggle my fingers, flicker my eyelashes, and am rewarded with a hint of light. Almost instantly hands are caressing my face, soft and gentle.
“Baby…”
I part my eyelids reluctantly, facing the blinding white light.
I need to see him.
Benjamin eyes are piercing green, red-rimmed and glossy by his emotions. I blink at him slowly, sucking in short breaths. The monitor begins to beep faster as I remember what took me under.
“Ben…”
I’m not sure whether it’s the race he made to get to me in time, the stress of the delivery, or the fear he endured when I began hemorrhaging, but something overcomes him. He drops his head onto my chest and loses himself altogether. Not gentle hiccups. No. He’s sobbing enough to shake me.
I lift my hands groggily and glide them into his hair, holding him to me.
“It’s okay,” I croak, my throat parched. “I’m okay.”
“Oh god, Darcy,” he groans, pulling himself up ungracefully. He’s still in the same teal scrubs as before. He wipes his tears and bites down on his lip to gather himself. “I…fuck, I thought—”
“I’m okay.”
He clasps my face, kissing me hard enough and brief enough that I can’t react.
“I love you. I could say it a million times right now.” He smiles with relief, his eyes shining. “He’s so perfect. I told them you were waking. They’re bringing him over now.”
My chest pounds at his words. “Is he okay? Is everything…?”
Benjamin’s smile is blinding. “He’s perfect, I told you. Ten toes, ten fingers.”
“Knock knock.”
We look to the door, where a nurse is carrying in a small bundle wrapped in a white blanket with blue stripes.
It feels like the moment of truth, the moments that hang just before she sets him in my arms. There are so many questions that momentarily stun me.
Will he look like me? Or like Benjamin?
What will his eyes look like? His nose? His mouth?
Does he have hair?
They all dissipate as soon as his weight settles onto my weak forearms.
This tiny, completely perfect baby is more Benjamin than me. With his chin, the roundness of his eyes, the fairness of his skin, I see his father in him. He has my nose, my shape of fingernails that are so small. He’s pink and fragile, his eyes closed in slumber. He has wisps of dark hair, a reflection of both of us.
I’m sure of perfection looking upon him.
“Oh my god,” I whisper, struck by delight. I look at Benjamin tearfully. “We made this.”
He nods, as enthralled by the baby as I am.
“I want to see you hold him,” I say, my voice cracking. I refuse to cry. I hold my arms out carefully, offering our child to my husband. “It’s been all I could dream about. You holding him.”
Our baby looks even smaller in Benjamin’s grasp, not even taking up his full forearm. Benjamin, such a large man, is gently cradling him to his chest, glancing at me to ensure he’s doing it right. When he cradles the back of his head, peering down at his child with a smile that could defeat all evil in this world, I’m truly more content than I’ve ever been in my life.
The sight of them together is all I’ll ever need.
“He’s so tiny,” Benjamin says disbelievingly.
“He looks just like you,” I say, softly petting the baby’s black curls.
“It’s so strange…you know…to see yourself in someone,” he says, kind of breathless. “I didn’t know I could feel this way.” He glances at me.
I nod, understanding him completely. “I know. I feel it too.”
“I’m scared. I want to be good…for him.”
I clasp Benjamin’s cheek and he tilts into my palm, shutting his eyes. “I have no fear.”
He inhales as our baby wraps his small fingers around one of his without opening his eyes. We look on with wonder, watching him breathe.
“We have to name him,” Benjamin whispers.
I hes
itate before speaking, unsure what he’ll think of my suggestion. “What about…Daniel?”
Benjamin’s head snaps up, his eyes wide for a moment at the mention of his twin, the brother he lost as a child to leukemia. I wanted a name that has meaning, and for some reason, we never discussed names. I always suspected he’d want Daniel.
“You…you don’t mind?”
I shake my head, gazing down at our boy. “Daniel seems right.”
When my eyes land back on my husband, I find him staring at me, looking just as unstable as I am. I’ve hardly ever seen him so utterly happy, so emotional. He leans slightly, meeting me halfway, and we kiss softly, slowly, the product of our love between us.
I caress his face, wiping his tears.
“I love you,” he whispers against my lips. “God, I do.”
Epilogue
“You’re still here?”
Cindy is standing at my office door, her tote bag hanging off her shoulder, no doubt hauling three manuscripts to complete at home. Her timing is impeccable. I’m five minutes late to meet Dimitri downstairs, who will be taking the Scott family to South Carolina in less than an hour.
“I’m moving. I’m moving,” I say, packing up my desk.
“Soak up some sun for me? I think I’ll have gray hair before I can finally get myself to a beach.”
I follow her out of my office. “I’ll have a pina colada too, just for you.”
“Okay, now you’re just rubbing it in.”
The building is all but empty now. Even the go-getters have escaped to start their weekend plans. On the way out, Cindy and I shut off the lights and lock the doors. We pack into the stuffy elevator—the a/c unit broke down sometime around lunch—rendering most employees inconvenienced and testy.
“It will be fixed on Monday,” Cindy tells me, pulling on the thin scarf wrapped around her neck. It’s sweltering outside, but she still dresses as if we work in an igloo. Seeing Dimitri at the curb beside the Escalade, having ditched the usual limo, I part ways with my colleague.
“I know, I know, I’m late,” I say by way of greeting.
He opens the door for me. “Everyone’s running a bit behind schedule. Benjamin’s still in the meeting, so they’re holding the jet.”
“Doris is waiting for us with Daniel.”
“Luggage is on the jet. Everything is in order.”
Dimitri merges into rush hour traffic, a magician at missing rough patches and intersections. If there’s anyone who knows New York City, it’s him.
“How was your vacation, Dimitri?”
“Refreshing. Relaxing. Caught some nice fish.”
“And now you have to put up with us.”
He smiles. “Don’t tell Benjamin, but I quite enjoy it.”
“Yeah?”
“Closest thing to family I’ve got.”
I don’t need to remind him how important he is in our lives or how much we rely on him. He’s Benjamin’s most trusted ally, and I know Benjamin would move worlds for him, even if he doesn’t vocalize it.
I make a cross over my chest, right where my heart is. “Your secret’s safe with me.”
The drive to our building, and the penthouse apartment we’ve made a life in, is short, only blocks away from my office. The front of the building is clustered with reporters and paparazzi starving to lay eyes on my husband, who recently made headlines because of a generous donation to cancer research. Leaving Dimitri in the foyer, I take the elevator up, marveling at how my heart can still leap with anticipation after all this time, at just the thought of laying eyes on my son.
Daniel is content in Doris’s arms, but as soon as he sees me, he struggles, wanting to get down. The minute he’s on the floor, he’s wobbling, unstable but determined to cross the short distance to where I’ve bent down to retrieve him.
“Come on, baby. You can do it.”
Surely having inherited the impressive genetics of his father, Daniel is brilliantly adaptive. He was singing when he spoke his first word, which to our dismay was neither of our names. And he tried to run instead of walking his first steps. He stumbles into my arms, giggling at my excitement.
“You did it!”
I kiss his head, looking up at Doris, who is admiring us from afar. “Thank you so much for watching him.”
When I stand, bringing Daniel with me, she throws her hands up.
“This is what I live for. Anytime your babysitter cancels, call me.”
Daniel’s small hand clenches my dress. “Any new words today?”
“Mama. Mama,” he says.
It’s not a new one, but one I’m still unused to hearing. He wiggles, trying to be free of my embrace, pointing to his toy on the ground. I watch him go with Doris, admiring the bouncy black curls on the top of his head. His eyes are a soft green color now, only another thing that reminds me of his father.
“You look wonderful. Is that a new dress?”
I run my hands down the length of the cherry-colored number I bought months ago, when I was still attempting to rid myself of baby weight. “You think? It’s not too tight?”
“You look sensational as usual, darling. Anyways, there’s no time to change. Look at the time.” Everyone’s on a time clock but me today. I scoop up Daniel, who is mumbling incoherently to his G.I. Joe. Doris throws her purse over her shoulder. “Have fun. Send me pictures, all right? Lots of them. I want to see Danny in the swim trunks I got him.”
“Wait, where are you going? I can take you home.”
“I’m going with Kevin to interview a new caterer…last minute wedding changes. He told me to tell you to have fun also and be ready to be worked to death.”
“You know, I’m beginning to regret maid-of-honor responsibilities. I mean, how many different cakes can you choose from?” I flick my chin toward the elevator doors, arms too full to hug her myself. “I’ll let you walk out before me so you don’t get mobbed.”
She kisses both of us on our cheeks and steps through the doors, which close after a few seconds. Hovering as I wait for the elevator to return, I remember something. On the table in the middle of the foyer, beside a large arrangement of lilies, lies a small hat, with the words Scott Industries plastered along the front. I place the cap over his wild curls, smiling along with him.
“You’re going to rep Daddy today, yeah?”
Just hearing his father’s name, Daniel kicks restlessly, anxiously looking around the room for Benjamin to appear.
“Yeah, Daddy,” I hum. “We’re gonna go see him now. Let’s go see Daddy.”
Buckling him into his car seat is a feat, but after I hand him the noisy rattle Benjamin gave him days after his birth, he immediately puts it into his mouth, hardly noticing me strapping him in. I run my fingers through his soft locks, pushing his hair back from his face.
As young as he is, Daniel seems to know the layout of Scott Industries pretty well and the staff even more so. I follow closely behind him as he insists on walking himself onto Benjamin’s floor. Tiffany gasps upon seeing him, one of his biggest fans.
“Oh! He’s wearing the hat!” Tiffany crows. Daniel has won the heart of every woman in this building. The hat was a gift from her, one she made herself with Benjamin’s logo. She gave it to Daniel on his first birthday a few months ago.
Tiffany melts when he grips her index finger. “You can totally tell he was made by the most beautiful people in the world.”
I blush.
“Go on in. He’s done for the day.”
Tiffany retreats into her office to pack up for the day. I pull open the door, and the minute Daniel catches sight of his father, he’s making himself known with a loud exclamation.
Benjamin is seated at his throne of power, the backdrop of Manhattan behind him, along with a colorful sunset. At the happy sound of our son, he shuts his computer, standing with a megawatt smile. It spreads across his face even further at Danny’s excitement, the way he bounces, laughing wildly on his way over to him.
“Danny bo
y!” Benjamin kneels, scrunching his tailored three-piece suit. Daniel tumbles into his outstretched arms, and Benjamin lifts him up into the air, placing multiple kisses to his chunky cheek. “Bud, how ya doin’? I like your hat.”
“Dada.”
I’m transfixed as Benjamin sets him down, murmuring to him, pointing to the mountain of toys set neatly in the play area he had set up in his office just months after Daniel’s birth. The entire office, once a daunting, intimidating place, is now childproofed, usually scattered with blocks and musical contraptions. My heart triples in speed when Benjamin rises from his bent position, turning his attention to me. Like a moth to flame, the moment his hands are sliding around my neck and his mouth is against mine, I’m drawn in, melting into his touch.
“You look stunning, baby.”
“So do you.”
The phone chimes on the desk. I plan to heave his phone into the water if it rings even once this weekend. It’s the first vacation we’re taking as a family, and I’ll have no distractions. With a braced inhale, he presses on the speaker button.
“Yes, Tiffany?”
“I know you’re preparing to go, but Alexander is on his way in to give you the documents you requested.”
There’s a knock on the door, and after one brief look between us, Benjamin crosses the room to greet his brother. When Daniel turned six months old, Alexander finally reached out to Benjamin. It had been over a year since they’d spoken, but when Alexander informed his brother that he’d stopped speaking to his mother upon learning of her treachery, her complete disregard for Benjamin—and the loan she asked for in the hospital room—Benjamin didn’t have it in him to hold a grudge. I don’t even think he wanted to in the first place. Forgiveness was easy for them. Trying to build a relationship with each other was another thing entirely. That was proving more difficult.
They’re trying. That’s what matters, I guess.
Benjamin ushers him inside. “Come in.”
I see the blond hair first, such a contrast from his adopted brother’s black tresses. Alexander sees Daniel and me by the kitchen and stills. We usually steer clear of one another, particularly because we never resolved the misunderstandings between us, and lack the will to do so in respect of Benjamin. Stiff politeness will have to do. I cannot avoid him anymore, not now that he’s working for his brother again.
Possessed By You (The Consumed Series Book 3) Page 19