by Violet Duke
“Yes.”
“But what promise was the nurse talking about?”
“That happened way before. Right after I’d first admitted Beth into the care facility, in fact. She’d shockingly lucid that day and though it took a while—a lot of cards and questions with yes/no grunts and exhausting trial and error guesses to understand what she was trying to say—eventually, I got everything she was trying to express down on the white board. When I stepped back to read all the sentences out loud, Beth cried and nodded frantically.” He sighed. “And that’s when nurse Jen came in.”
“What did the sentences say?” she whispered.
Brian gazed into her eyes and recited the stilted sentences as if they were burned into his brain. And though she hadn’t heard Beth’s voice in years, Abby could practically hear Beth speaking the sentences aloud: “I don’t have much time left. I love Skylar. She’s the best little girl. She deserves a wonderful mom. I wasn’t able to be that for her. But Abby was. Promise me that after I’m gone, after Skylar loses her mother, promise me that you’ll do everything you can to make sure she doesn’t lose her mom, too.”
A flood of hot tears blazed down Abby’s cheeks. “Why didn’t you ever tell me?”
“Because I didn’t want to burden you with it. It’s not exactly something I could just walk up to you and ask you to do, to be.”
True. “Well, then why didn’t you tell her no?”
Brian gave her an are-you-kidding-me look. And Abby almost laughed.
“Beyond the fact that this is Beth we’re talking about here. If you were in my shoes, would you have said no to a request like that?”
No, she wouldn’t have.
“You still should’ve told me. It wouldn’t have been a burden.”
“It would’ve been more than just a burden. It would’ve ruined everything.”
Abby frowned. “What do you mean?”
He hesitated and then said softy, “Even though my heart wasn’t free to love you yet, a part of me couldn’t bear the idea of you feeling obligated to be with me because of a promise to Beth, or even because of Skylar.” He stared into her eyes. “I wanted you to want me for me. Be with me because you loved me…the way that I loved you.”
Abby felt her heart flip right over.
“That’s why I kept it a secret. Not to lie to you, and not because I’d brainwashed myself into believing I wanted to be with you to fulfill some promise to my dead wife. But because I loved you.”
He gazed at her sadly as she sat there silently. “Please say something.”
Abby’s brain was on overload. She didn’t know how to begin processing, where to begin processing. And for some completely bizarre reason, her curiosity was overriding her need to analyze the situation.
“So in the stories you came up with…what did you say was our first date?”
He looked up at her in surprise. “That’s what you want to know?”
“Just answer the question, Brian. What was our first date?”
He wrinkled his nose. “I told her we went to an MMA fight.”
Despite herself, Abby laughed.
Brian cracked a smile. “That was the first thought that came to mind. Beth couldn’t make too many facial expressions by then but let me tell you, she could express a lot with her eyes. She gave me the most shaming look of disapproval, and I kid you not, I think she actually rolled her eyes at me. But I went on to explain that even though it wasn’t the most romantic date in the world, we had a blast. I told her that after that date, I knew, even if we couldn’t make it work romantically, that I’d found a friend for life in you.” He reached for her hand. “Though I may have added details that didn’t happen, I never lied to her about my feelings, Abby. Not once in any of these stories.”
Abby processed that and then queried next, “Romantic Getaway?”
“Alaska.”
Her brows shot up. “Why Alaska?”
“Because we were watching a commercial once a really long time ago that had the Northern Lights. You looked at it like it was the most majestic thing you’d ever seen in your life. I figured between the snow, and watching an Aurora Borealis light show, and trying to tell the difference between icebergs and glaciers—which I knew you’d get a kick out of—I thought you’d really like it there.”
Emotions were making her voice thick as she named another card title, “The day you knew?”
His eyes warmed, became intense as he said with conviction, “The third time we went camping up in Havasupai a few years ago.”
Abby blinked in surprise. She remembered that trip. The photos from that trip were some of her favorites. “Why that trip?”
He shrugged. “Because that truly was the day I fell in love with you in a way I hadn’t been before.”
What?
He grinned at her shocked expression. “I remember it hitting me like a two-by-four to my chest. You and Skylar were trying to reel in what you swore was a whale, and you were both so determined to do it without my help. When the ‘whale’ started getting away and Skylar started freaking out and getting sad about it, I swear to God, you went into full mama bear mode and went apeshit on that poor fish.” He chuckled. “You two reeled the sucker in and you looked so ridiculously happy, that’s when I knew I was head over heels in love with you. Even though I couldn’t do anything about it, I knew. I just…couldn’t bring myself to say it aloud, not without feeling like I was betraying my wife.”
With gentle fingers, he smoothed her hair back from her face. “I’m sorry it took me so long to tell you. Even after Beth was gone, I couldn’t allow myself to love you. Not yet. Not until I was sure I could love you the way you deserved to be loved.”
“That’s why I waited until now.”
God, he was such a good man.
Her heart was a mess. A tissue-wielding, drunk-on-emotions mess. But she still wanted to hear the last answer, knowing that it was quite possibly going to make her heart spill out of her chest. “What about the story of how you proposed?”
He shook his head at that request, smiling secretively. “I’m not telling you that one.”
“What? Why not?”
He looked into her eyes. “I don’t want to ruin the surprise.”
Stunned into silence, she stared at him. Did he just...? She triple analyzed his sentence in her brain. Is he saying what it sounds like he’s saying?
BRIAN HELD HIS BREATH and waited for Abby’s reaction. He’d just unleashed an emotional bomb on her and she’d yet to respond. “What are you thinking, sweetheart?”
She looked up at him and said simply, “I’m thinking you were right.”
Being right was good. He loved being right. Too bad he had absolutely no idea what she was talking about.
“Remember how you insisted, flat out told me that I loved you first, before I loved Connor? Well, I see now that you were right. I did. I loved you before Connor...before that third camping trip...before I even fully knew, I think.” She gazed up into his eyes. “I did love you first, Brian.” Sliding her arms around his neck, she added softly, “And I never stopped.”
Good lord, the woman could disarm him like no one else could.
He dragged her closer and fit his mouth over hers. She tasted like every dream he’d never allowed himself to chase, everything he’d ever wanted but never thought he’d be allowed to have. And slowly, almost shyly, he felt her hands slip under the hem of his shirt and begin roaming over his skin. How the woman managed to drive him crazy with just a simple touch was beyond him.
He helped her pull off his shirt and watched the naked desire in her eyes burn as she took in every inch of him. “I love how you look at me,” he said gruffly, forcing himself to hold back and let her look her fill. “You look at me as if you can’t get enough of me.”
“I can’t.” She raised her eyes up to meet his. “Honestly, I don’t think I ever will.”
Jesus.
He covered her body with his and stripped her slowly, trailing his
hands over every lush curve of her body.
“You’re so beautiful.”
Her skin flushed and he followed that blush down her body, drew a path across the petal soft skin of her belly slowly before gently parting her thighs. She trembled under his fingertips, jolted at even the lightest graze of his lips, and began shaking with need when he shadowed closer and closer to her core. “I love how you respond to me.” He traced little circles with his thumb, his tongue, watching her until she was a writhing, sultry canvas of fierce pleasure. “Brian.” His body corded as if whipped and he spread her wider, savored her, raked his teeth lightly over her tight bud.
She arched up into his mouth over and over, the desire rolling off of her in waves until soon, she was shuddering, melting, her liquid heat licking over his fingers, spilling slick and wild into his mouth as she came with a broken rush of passion that drove him straight to the brink.
Primal, intense hunger clawed at him, made him mindless, feral in his need to be inside of her—hell, even the simple act of slipping on a condom had him on a razor sharp edge. But he forced himself to slow down. And he would’ve succeeded in getting a handle on his hunger too, had it not been for her curious little hands stroking over his torso, taking such immense pleasure in just touching him, feeling him. His control slipped another dangerous notch. It was no use. “I have to have you, honey. Right now,” he growled.
He caught her nipple between his teeth and slid into her in one long, slick stroke. Buried himself in her heat. She cried out, clamping down on him like a red-hot vise as she scored her nails down his back. Holy hell. His arms locked tight around her and he took her faster, harder, plunging into her core as deep as he could go.
“Brian.” He felt the ripples of her climax starting again and he lost it. The feel of her pulsing all around him robbed him of his senses, stole his sanity. He shuddered, drinking in her broken cries as he drove into her one last time. The most intense pleasure he’d ever known pounded through his veins, ripped through his heart, and hurtled him over the edge right along with her.
Breathing ragged, heart racing, Brian cradled Abby’s face in his hands and whispered, “The stories I told Beth weren’t just stories, Abby. You’ve been in my dreams for years. I’ve dreamed up a lifetime of ways to love you.”
“And if you’ll let me, I’ll spend a lifetime making every single one of them come true.”
CHAPTER TEN
ABBY REMOVED HER CHARCOAL PANTSUIT from the dry cleaning bag and hung it from her doorframe, right above the smart black pumps she’d picked out weeks ago to match, and just behind the crisp white poplin button-down she’d ironed to within an inch of its life a few minutes ago. Stepping back, she began second-guessing the ensemble yet again when her cell phone rang from her bag.
Shoot! Her bag! She hadn’t even thought about getting a purse to match her suit!
Scrambling for her phone, she jabbed the answer button on the screen while running to her closet to try and find a dignified black purse. And while you’re at it, maybe you can find the key to Narnia in this magical closet as well. Why on earth was she bothering to look? She didn’t own any dignified purses. Yet there she stood, staring into her closet like she did the sad shelves in her fridge the day before she’d finally break down and head to the grocery store.
“Abby?”
Crap. Her phone. “Hello?”
Deep, teasing chuckles filled her ear. “By all that cursing I just heard, I’m assuming you’re changing your outfit again.”
“I don’t have a purse, Brian! I can’t walk into my dissertation defense today wearing the pantsuit with my old denim messenger bag slung over my shoulder!”
“Why not? All those novelty button pins on your bag will really pop against the gray of your suit.”
Oh for goodness sakes, she forgot about the buttons! “Brian! You’re not helping!” She ran back to her bag and surveyed the fifty or so round buttons pinned to her front flap.
“Don’t you dare take off those buttons. You’ve spent years collecting them.”
“But—”
“Woman, step away from the bag and head to your front door.”
“What? Why?” she asked, her hand hovering above her bag.
“Because I’m coming over to collect a good morning kiss. And give you a small gift.”
Hearing that was the equivalent of taking a smooth shot of whiskey. A buzzing warmth spread all through her veins, instantly calming her nerves. How did he always do that?
She pulled open the door and saw him coming up the driveaway with a gift box and an adoring smile on his face. She launched herself into his awaiting arms. “What are you doing here? You’re going to be late for school,” she asked, still clinging to him like a vine.
Holding her just as tightly, he gave her a long, slow kiss before smiling down into her face and replying, “My department head is covering my first two classes for me. I asked her the day you set your defense date.”
Gripping his face in her hands, she kissed him again. He was just so perfect. “Thank you.”
“Don’t thank me yet. You haven’t even seen your gift.”
Like a kid at Christmas, she nearly tore through the newspaper gift wrapping—Brian’s trademark—until she realized the paper wasn’t just a single newspaper sheet, but many different pieces taped together. Surveying each colorful cartoon set, she saw they were all Mutts comic strips, her favorite from the Sunday paper.
“I’ve been saving the funniest ones every weekend for the past few months. I had just enough to cover the box,” he informed her proudly.
Forget whatever was inside the box, the wrapping alone was enough to bring tears to her eyes.
“Open it, Abby.” He slid a thumb over cheekbone, wiping away the single happy tear that managed to break free.
Even though she could see he was going out of his mind with anticipation waiting for her to open the gift—crazy, adorable man—she still took an extra minute to make sure she didn’t rip the paper as she removed the tape.
Flipping open the box, she saw a hand-drawn card that instantly brought on another weather alert for the waterworks.
Brian grinned. “Skylar must have gone through a dozen drafts before deciding this one was perfect.”
It really was. Vibrant, and funny, and wholly supportive, just like Skylar.
“She wanted to miss her first two classes too but she had a quiz so we settled on this alternative instead—” Brian hit a few buttons on his smartphone to play a videoclip.
“Good luck, Abby! You’re going to rock today, I just know it! I’m SO proud of you! Love you!”
Okay, they’d officially moved from a waterworks watch to a full-blown alert. A level four cry-storm was imminent.
Pulling back the tissue wrapping of Brian’s gift, she upgraded the alert to a level six.
“You got me a charcoal gray purse,” she whispered, shaking her head in amazement.
“I told you, I know you as well as I know myself, sweetie.” He placed a gentle kiss to her forehead and placed one more thing into the palm of her hand. “To put on the strap after your defense,” he added with a smile.
It was a button pin.
Dr. Abby Bartlett
…Arched over the image of a treasure troll dressed as a wizard.
Holy swizzle sticks, but she loved this man.
“Knock ‘em dead today, honey.”
BACKING OUT OF ABBY’S DRIVEWAY, Brian looked at the box on his passenger seat and the potted orchid plant inside of it, his second surprise gift for Abby this afternoon, after she completed her defense. He couldn’t stop looking at it—never had he seen such a unique flower before. It was no wonder Abby had loved it so much as a kid.
She’d mentioned it once in one of her rare stories about her childhood home—not the one her parents still live in now, but the one before it. The look on her face when she’d talked about that flower had haunted him ever since. While he didn’t know what exactly had happened to Abby durin
g her junior year in high school, he knew it had been traumatic, and it had led to her family moving out of the school district, out of the home she’d grown up in.
Over the years, he’d heard a few more snippets about that home and how much Abby had loved it, primarily because of the backyard, her fairytale sanctuary. Brian tried not to pry too much because it was clear Abby didn’t want to talk about that traumatic event, but he did make a point to ask Abby’s parents to share more about that first home they’d lived in, whenever they were here visiting from California.
He still remembered Abby’s face the first time her mother had answered his questions about their home.
“Abby used to spend hours out there in the backyard. Unlike me, her father had quite the green thumb, and had dozens of beautiful potted orchids out in the shade house, along with a whole host of wild orchids rooted in the rock wall and the trees out back. I swear, Abby had named every single flower out there.” She shook her head, smiling wistfully. “And every day, she’d be out there talking to them all like they were her magical forest friends.”
“I still remember ‘Snickers,’ the Flying Duck Orchid,” grinned Abby. “It literally looked like a dark purple duck getting ready to take off in flight, with an orange beak and all. It was so cute.”
“That was Abby’s second favorite,” chimed in her mother. “But it had nothing on the White Egret Orchid. That one, Abby could sit and talk to for hours. More often than not, Abby’s father and I would find her planted right in front of that orchid with all her toys spread out, just playing as if that orchid were a friend over for a play date.”
“It was the prettiest flower I’d ever seen,” agreed Abby softly. “It had these wide, wispy white petals that looked exactly like the wings of the egret bird soaring in the sky.”
The smile he’d witnessed on Abby’s face was different from any he’d ever seen on her. That magical sanctuary, those flowers…they were a part of her past that she’d lost because of whatever horrible thing she’d gone through in high school. And it killed him to see that smile disappear whenever the talk would eventually end the same way, with an uncomfortable, vague statement about them not being able to uproot the wild orchids and take it with them when they’d moved into their new home without a yard.