It was what she wanted, hoped for, lost sleep over, and worried about for months on end. And she was undeniably thrilled to finally have it done with, and in her favor. The relief that flooded her was so strong it left her weak in the knees.
But it was no longer all that she wanted. The moment he’d put it out there, that there was even a remote possibility that he wasn’t going to leave soon, her heart had taken wing. Maybe it was greedy, maybe it was selfish, but dammit, didn’t she deserve to want something just for herself? Not for Ballantrae, not for the good of the clan… just for the good of her heart. And her soul. And she was terrified that she’d misunderstood him, that she’d let hope fly too soon. “How—how long—” She stopped herself. Maybe she shouldn’t ask. Maybe it was better to take it as they had been, one day at a time. One amazing day at a time.
He smiled then. “As long as you’ll have me.”
And there was no quashing the joy, or the hope. Her face split in a wide smile and she tightened her hold on him, partly to assure herself she wasn’t imagining this entire conversation. “I don’t understand. You have a dig, in Mexico. You said you only had a week—”
“Until they replace me. And they will. Felix has a good crew. That’s another call I have to make.”
“So, what will you do?” That had probably come out sounding wrong, but he wasn’t the sort to just bum about. And the look in his eyes told her there was more to this. Much more. He had the look of a man with a purpose.
“I want to learn more about my own ancestry.” He stroked her hair, held her gaze. “I was sort of hoping you could help me with that.”
“You know I will. I would love to. Are you… are you sure? I mean, after everything with your father—”
He nodded. “It’s taken me a while to get to where I can set all that aside and get down to the root of what I want. Maybe what I’ve always wanted, but was too blinded by my anger toward my father to see clearly. I started my studies here because I had an honest interest in the history of this land. Remember I told you about my high school teachers? They were responsible for turning me on to the Druids, the Piets, the Celts and the Gaels. And that interest, that curiosity to know more, has nothing to do with Morgans or Sinclairs, or Rogues Hollow, or my father. My interest in that is all my own. It’s a culture and society we know so little about, with such opposing theories, that I was fascinated by the potential for discovery. I still am.”
She had only to look in his eyes, to know the absolute truth of what he was saying. It was as if those eyes were lit with an inner purpose. When he spoke about discovery and possibilities, it made her own blood thrum. And to think she was going to be part of this with him, brought an excitement and anticipation to life inside her that was impossible to deny.
“I let my interests get all tangled up in my personal past, my own ancestry, my father’s warped sense of right and wrong,” he told her. “And by the time I got to that first dig in Wales, I wasn’t sure if I was there because I wanted to be, for my own fulfillment, or because I was trying to prove something to my father. Or, worse, seeking his approval.”
“And now?”
He smiled. “Now I have no doubt what I want to pursue.” He tugged her closer. “Professionally. And personally.”
Her body tightened, she wanted badly to just take the leap of faith he had. The very idea of just reaching out and taking what she wanted was as exhilarating as it was terrifying. “You’re certain of this? It’s so… sudden.”
“Maybe. I don’t know. It feels like it’s taken me forever to finally figure this out.” He stroked her cheek, pushed her hair from her face. “I know my father’s death caused you sadness,” he told her solemnly. “And, I suppose, I’m even a bit sorry that I didn’t know the man that you did. But it took his death to shake me up, to make me step back enough to examine the choices I’ve made, why I made them. And I realize that, despite being happy with my work, I’ve been basically hiding out all these years.” He kissed the corner of her eyebrow, his fingers sinking in as his hold on her tightened further. “And it took meeting you to make me realize that I don’t want to spend any more time doing that. I want to dig, to discover, but I know now it can mean so much more to me. Be so much more fulfilling. This is where I want to be. This is where I want to start my life again.”
Her throat was tight with emotion, and she framed his face with her hands. “I just don’t want you to regret this decision.”
“I already know it’s the right one.”
She smiled a little then. “So confident.”
He covered her hands. “I know in my heart this is right.” His eyes lit up again, and she could feel a kind of energy shoot through him. “And any lingering doubts I might have had were definitely put to rest later this morning with my other discovery.”
It filled her with immense pleasure to see him like this, so excited, wound up. About life. And she realized then what was so different about him. The shadows were gone. He looked… open. Ready. “What other discovery?” she asked.
He took her hands, all but squeezing the life out of them. “I know I promised you a long soak, but would you mind taking a walk with me? I want to show you something.” He stopped, smiled a bit sheepishly, as if realizing how he must be sounding. “Or we could go after, I guess.”
She laughed, her heart feeling like it just might burst. And that was okay with her. “My God, you can hardly stand still. Does this have something to do with that other discovery?”
“Yes, but you’ll have to dress more warmly. It’s outside. In the north woods.”
“Well, there’s a new twist on our relationship, you wanting me wearing more clothes.”
He grinned. “It will just make it more fun to unwrap you later.”
“Promise?”
He surprised a squeal out of her by lifting her off her feet and swirling her around. “Anything you want. Just come see this with me.” He all but dragged her into the bedroom.
Laughing, she let him. “I’ve never seen you like this.”
He yanked her against his chest, kissed the daylights out of her, then said, “That’s because I’ve never been like this.” With a sigh he let her go. “But if we stay in here much longer, it’ll be dark before we get outside.” His grin made her insides go all shoogly. “Or tomorrow.”
“I think that might fall under that ‘anything I want’ heading,” she told him. “Just a fair warning.”
“Done. As soon as we get back, you may do with me as you will.” He grabbed a sweater and some jeans and tossed them to her. “Meet me downstairs.”
She felt almost giddy with excitement the entire time it took her to get dressed. This was a whole new side of the man she’d spent the past week falling in love with. It would take some getting used to. She’d known he could be intense. Boy did she know. But to see him like this over something else… well, she was grinning so stupidly, just picturing the look in his eyes, how excited he was, apparently she wasn’t going to mind very much. She supposed she should have known he’d bring the same intensity to his work, to whatever interested him, as he did to making love to her. A complex man, her marauding Scot.
She wanted to hug herself, and she did give in to the urge to do a little victory shuffle. Because he was just that. Her marauding Scot.
“So,” she said as she came down the stairs, only to find him waiting with her coat and hat in hand. “What’s this discovery you made about?”
She turned and let him slide her coat on. Then sighed when he kissed the side of her neck as he tugged on her hat.
“Come on,” he said, grabbing her hand. “I’ll show you.”
The cold wind took her breath away. And so did Taggart Morgan. The sun was shining down on them, Ballantrae was safe for a while longer, and he wasn’t going to leave. What more could she ask for?
“So,” he said, making her skip a bit to catch up to his long strides. “What do you know about the Pictish relics over in the north forest?”
&nb
sp; The question caught her completely off guard and she paused, only to be tugged along as he kept walking. “What Pictish relics?” She frowned. “I don’t think there are any relics or ruins in the north forest. I’ve wandered those woods my whole life. There are the remains of an abbey, over along the ridge to the south.” She pulled on his hand to slow him down. “Are you saying you found something?”
He shot her a grin.
“But… how? I mean, how would you have even known where to look?” She finally tugged him to a complete stop. “What did you find?”
He turned then, took her other hand. “Remember when I was snooping through your books, while you were writing the other day? Well, I found an old text in there, having to do with Celtic history in this area. There was a folded page, with notes in the margins. It took some deciphering, but I realized that section of the book dealt with land that is now part of Ballantrae.” He was all but bouncing on the balls of his feet, so she let him pull her ahead. “There was a hand-drawn map, which I copied.” He grinned. “And this morning, I decided to go on a treasure hunt.”
“You’re very cute, you know that?”
He looked momentarily nonplussed. “This isn’t a joke.”
He’d said it so seriously, looked so affronted by the notion, that she squeezed his hand, tugged him close so she could kiss him noisily on the cheek. “I know, that’s what makes you so cute.”
He just looked at her. “It’s history. History isn’t cute.”
She laughed. “Well, it is when you’re telling it. Would you feel better if I said it was sexy? Because it’s that, too.”
He smiled then, and that other intent came back into his eyes. “Well, that might be a handy thing to know. Come spring anyway.”
“Oh, I’ll make sure to remind you.”
He swung her close, and put his arm around her. “You won’t have to. If it has to do with you naked in an outdoor setting, I won’t forget. Trust me.”
“So,” she said, tucking herself under his arm and shamelessly using his body to block the wind. “What is it you found?”
“A stone circle.”
“In the north forest?” she said, honestly confused. “I’ve wandered every inch of them, I played in those woods growing up. I’d know if there was a circle there. Besides, they’re usually out in the open, aren’t they? Not in the woods.”
“I’m sure they were out in the open originally. According to the map, there was no forest there at all. Just several very old oaks.” He smiled. “From little acorns grow, I guess.”
“You do know stone circles aren’t all that rare here.”
His grin was a hint smug. “This one is.”
“Wait a minute.” She stopped again. “What is this all about? I mean, this is about more than you finding a stone circle, isn’t it?”
“Maybe,” he told her. “At least, I’m hoping it might be. You asked what I was going to do here. I know that even with my father’s investment, you’re having a hard time just maintaining here, much less making any real progress. I know you’ll pick up more crofters in the spring, but with the village having problems as well,” he paused, shrugged, “I was thinking maybe you could use the economic boost of having a few scientists move in. Maybe do a little digging.”
Stunned by the suggestion, she pulled from his arms, pushed her hair from her face. “If you mean that I should let the government come in and take over restoration, I won’t have that.” Surely, despite his disconnect from his own heritage, even he understood she’d never agree to something like that.
“That’s not what I meant at all.” He took her hand, grew serious. “If you wanted that, you would have done it by now.” He pulled her closer. “And frankly, I’m feeling a bit proprietary myself about that big pile of rocks. I just found it; I’m not about to help you hand it over to someone else.”
“Okay,” she said, relieved and feeling a little foolish for doubting him. “So what is this grand scheme then?”
“I want to explore the possibility of getting funding for a small-scale excavation in the north woods. And only in the woods.”
“Why would anyone pay to dig up another stone circle?”
“I don’t have the proper equipment with me, but my guess is they are at least fifth century, possibly even earlier. Once I’d realized what I’d found, I didn’t want to disturb it any more than I had.” He squeezed her hands. “The altar stone is there, and the carvings are magnificent, Maura. So little is known about them really, the religion they practiced early on is much like the Druid religion, definitely pagan, but there is little definitive proof. They died out in the ninth century. Their carvings set them apart, though. So to find something like this, so well preserved by the elements because of the forest growth? It’s truly amazing.”
“Where are they? Why haven’t I ever seen them?”
“You’d have to know where to look. They’re all but buried beneath the overgrowth.”
“The map led you to them?”
He nodded. “Hand-drawn, exquisite. A find in and of its own right, really. The text it was in was well over a hundred years old itself.”
She took a moment to try and digest all of this. “Why didn’t you tell me before?”
He smiled easily. “I was going to mention finding the book, ask if you knew anything about it. We seem to get sidetracked. A lot.”
She grinned, and her body hummed just at the reminder. “But your specialty is Mayan history. If you really think it’s worth pursuing, how can you make it happen?”
“That’s why I went into the main house, to look for additional documentation.”
“The books you brought up with you earlier.” Her eyes widened. “So you found more information on it?”
“Some. Maybe not enough, but I only had a few hours of searching and you have a lot of books in that place. I wanted to be more sure before I told you, but—” He smiled sheepishly. “I couldn’t stand it. I had to share the news with you.”
Then the pieces fell into place. And her heart stuttered. “So, you’re staying then because of the potential dig?”
He squeezed her hands, tugged her close, his gaze so intent on hers, she couldn’t look away. “I know I’m doing the right thing, by pursuing a career here. This find was just further proof, but I already knew. I began here, and I should have stayed here.” He lowered his mouth to hers, kissed her. And it was both tender and filled with such promise. “But then if I had, I wouldn’t have met you. Things happen as they do for a reason. Something I’m more convinced of now more than ever. I’m staying because I belong here, Maura. Because I don’t want to be anywhere else.”
“What would you have done if you hadn’t discovered them?” She believed what he was telling her—it was hard not to when he looked at her with his whole heart in his eyes—but it had to be asked.
“There are digs on this continent, too, you know,” he said, his smile teasing and confident. But then the amusement fled, and she could see that he was intent on making her understand, that it was important to him that she believe this. “But I did find the relics. And I truly believe I’m on to something. It won’t be a huge excavation, and it may only last a couple of years, but—”
“Years?”
He nodded. “It won’t be a huge boon to the local economy, but it will bring something to the castle coffers, and the village, too. The crew will probably want to lease the crofts closest to the woods, to set up quarters and an analysis center. And depending on the number of students that are brought on, we might even consider opening up part of the main house to them.”
She didn’t know where it came from, but the laugh just rolled out of her. It was one of shock really. “My God, you’ve really thought this all through, haven’t you?”
“I can’t help it,” he said, cute all over again when he shrugged. “It’s what I do. We don’t have to do any of this if you don’t want to.”
But she could tell from the look on his face that it would nigh kill him
if she said no. And, to be honest, now that she’d had all of ten minutes to think on it, she had to admit it was rather an exciting proposition. “It sounds wonderful, really, it’s just that it’s all so sudden.”
“It will take a few months minimum before I know if I can put the funding together. It will be spring by then, which is the earliest they could start anyway.” He squeezed her hands. “I want to contribute here. I want to take some of the burden from you. You shouldn’t have to bear that weight alone. I don’t know what we’ll do when all is said and done on the excavation, but we have years to work on that.”
“Years,” she said again, only this time there was a tremor of trepidation, as it truly began to sink in. Years. With this man. At her side. In her bed. She should have laughed like a loon at the very idea of agreeing. Maura Sinclair, the woman who couldn’t keep a relationship going much past a month, contemplating jumping into a full-time living arrangement with a man. For years.
And yet the hot thrill that very notion sent through her was so powerful and so strong it took her breath away.
His hold on her gentled then, and he pulled their joined hands up between them and brushed a kiss over her knuckles. “I’m overwhelming you.”
“You are,” she said, then did laugh in disbelief. “But if my heart’s to be any judge, it’s the best kind of overwhelmed to be.”
His eyes glittered with a fierce joy. “I don’t need any promise from you,” he said, “other than you’ll give this—give me—a try.”
From somewhere, her old self surfaced, but it was almost a relief to know she was still in there. “I believe I’ve tried you out every way a woman possibly can.”
He cocked his head, his lips curving in that way he had that made her toes curl. “So you have no more use for me then?”
She grinned, even as her bottom lip trembled. “Oh, I’ve a use or two for ye.”
And she felt him tremble. “Maura—”
She pressed her fingers to his lips. “This—all of this—is so unexpected. I don’t know what to say.” Her smile, at first so tremulous, grew wider, and something settled inside her as she took that leap of faith. “But then you were so unexpected, and look how well that’s turning out.”
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