by J. A.
Jeff: Does he have to be named Sheldon?
Jack: Never mind. Much like Ernest, I’m known for my comedic hijinks, as are you. But now we’ve both written these super-scary horror novels without a shred of comedy in them. So my question to you is, Angelina Jolie or Jessica Alba?
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Jeff: What about them? I’m not sure what you’re asking. Are you asking which one I’ve spoken to most recently? That would be Jess. I didn’t give her your message, though, because it was kind of creepy. I just did the panting and left it at that. Angelina is busy these days and we mostly talk through Skype.
Jack: I like to ask the tough questions. So, if John’s son is my son’s father, what relationship am I to John?
Jeff: You’re John’s prison bitch. Duh.
Jack: Can you do anything unusual or interesting? I can fit my pinky up my nose all the way to the second knuckle, but I’m scared to go further because I’m touching something squishy that I think is my brain.
Jeff: That’s not your brain. And it’s not your nose.
Jack: If you were stuck on a desert island and could only have one book, wouldn’t that suck?
Jeff: It would. Unless that book was Afraid, by Jack Kiborn. It comes out March 31, you know.
Jack: Really? March 31? I should write that down. Being serious for a moment, I loved your novel Pressure, which is possibly the most intense horror novel I’ve ever read. It really gets under your skin, and shows no mercy. Do you find it bizarre that this book, which is getting the most publicity and the biggest print run of all of your books, is so unlike your other work?
Jeff: See, I introduced this interview by saying that Afraid was one of the most relentless horror novels I’ve ever read, so now it just looks like we’re giving each other full-contact body rubs.
One of us has to withdraw our praise. I guess it’ll be me. I don’t find it bizarre—I worried that my current fans would be disappointed by the decreased humor level (they weren’t) but even while writing it, it was clearly my most mainstream book.
Jack: I just read Benjamin’s Parasite, which has all the elements of essential Strand: a luckless hero in over his head, over-the-top gore, outrageous action scenes, funny as hell dialog, and richly developed characters, all of them memorable, the majority of whom don’t survive. You 164
manage to make this hodge-podge of seemingly disparate elements work, and work well. I cared about the protagonist, the book is fast based, scary, and laugh out loud hilarious, and the plot actually makes sense–it isn’t just a strung together collection of comedy sketches.
Jeff: Thanks! That’s not a question though, so now we have to sit here in an uncomfortable silence.
Jack: …
Jeff: …
Jack: …
Jeff: I have great questions for you and great answers from you regarding Afraid and Jack Kilborn’s second novel, Trapped, but they’ll have to wait for the “serious” interview, which I think I’ll send to FearZone, because FearZone is way cool and has brought readers advance news on Benjamin’s Parasite. Wouldn’t it suck for you if FearZone rejected it? That would be awkward. I’d probably make up some excuse to spare your feelings, like maybe the webmaster died or something. Well, I guess we’ve babbled enough…so what’s that book again?
Jack: Afraid.
Jeff: Available on…?
Jack: March 31st.
Jeff: Available in…?
Jack: Your local bookstore, or fine online retailers.
Jeff: Do you have a website that people should visit for all the latest J.A. Konrath/Jack Kilborn news, blog entries that could serve as full Writer’s Digest articles, and more cool stuff than you can wave a monkey at?
Jack: Yes. It’s–
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Jeff: –and we’re out of time for this interview. I’d like to thank Jack Kilborn for taking the time to hang out on my blog, and encourage everybody to support their local bookstore the day before April Fool’s Day by purchasing a copy of Afraid to call their very own.
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Read the Jack Daniels series by JA Konrath:
Whiskey Sour
Bloody Mary
Rusty Nail
Dirty Martini
Fuzzy Navel
Cherry Bomb
Exclusive ebooks by JA Konrath:
55 Proof
Origin
The List
Disturb
Shot of Tequila
Suckers by JA Konrath and Jeff Strand
Planter's Punch by JA Konrath and Tom Schreck
SERIAL by Blake Crouch and Jack Kilborn
Floaters by JA Konrath and Henry Perez
And read Afraid by Jack Kilborn, who is actually JA Konrath
http://www.JAKonrath.com
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Read the Andrew Mayhem series by Jeff Strand:
Graverobbers Wanted (No Experience Necessary)
Single White Psychopath Seeks Same
Casket For Sale (Only Used Once)
Other books by Jeff Strand:
Pressure
Benjamin’s Parasite
The Sinister Mr. Corpse
Gleefully Macabre Tales
Mandibles
The Haunted Forest Tour (with James A. Moore)
The Severed Nose
Disposal
How to Rescue a Dead Princess
Out of Whack
Elrod McBugle on the Loose
http://www.JeffStrand.com
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