‘Have you done any hunting?’ Brian asked.
‘Yep, used to go out with my uncle - the one I’m going to see in Malindi. I need to show him this one,’ he pointed at Gem, ‘see if I have picked a good filly,’ he chuckled.
‘Crap!’ said Gem. ‘You’re so full of it Douglas.’
‘You enjoyed killing animals?’ Brian asked.
‘I loved the chase and I never shot anything I couldn’t eat,’ said Doug, a little defensively. ‘You need to be in the bush for at least six weeks before a sixth sense returns.’ He sighed reminiscing. ‘There’s nothing like it once you realise how little you need to be happy. Man is essentially a hunter, and women are gatherers – that’s why they like to shop so much!’Brian had to laugh.
Gem as though to make a point, opened another bag of crisps noisily. ‘Ohh, look what I have gathered.’
‘Still, it must have been a good thing when they banned the hunting,’ Brian ventured.
Doug sighed. ‘Good for whom, the animals? The game department was run by professionals. The whole country was divided into hunting blocks, with only one hunting party allowed into each block at a time. For instance, we are now driving through block fifty eight,’ he waved his hand expansively. ‘It wasn’t just a question of driving off into the bush and shooting at will. A license fee for every animal had to be paid in foreign exchange to maintain this sustainable natural resource. It earned the country a fortune, and licensed hunters would inform the game department of the presence of poachers.
The government banned hunting overnight and an enormous industry employing thousands was brought to its knees. Without the regular hunting parties, poaching resumed on a massive scale. A certain minister’s sister used the army to gun down elephants with machine guns from helicopters it was wholesale slaughter.’ Doug’s voice rose in anger, Brian remained silent, there was nothing to say.
‘Not so long ago, you couldn’t fail to see elephants on this drive, in fact, you had to be especially careful at night, in case you drove into a ten-ton beast warming its pads on the tarmac. Now to see a single elephant, despite driving through the middle of a game park for over a hundred miles, would be an amazing sight.’ He had to slow down to avoid potholes, skilfully swerving round them, he had forgotten about the bike. A series of loud bangs from the rear of the car reminded him. ‘Damn!’ he exclaimed, ‘my poor baby.’
They reached Mtito Andei, halfway to Mombasa, without further incident. He and Gem went into a roadside café while Brian refuelled the rover before joining them for sweetened tea and cake.
‘On the other side of the road is Tsavo West Park,’ Doug pointed out. ‘We have about another thirty miles to go before we get to the Manyani Gate, where we will get into Tsavo East Park. This is the area famous for the man-eating lions that attacked railway workers when they were building the railway. The lions around here are a little crazy, none of your Hollywood type big king of the beasts. These buggers are lean, tough and scrawny. Their manes almost non-existent, what little they have is torn out by constantly pushing though thorn bushes.’
‘I hope we see some,’ said Brian. ‘I brought my camera; can I get a photo of you two would you mind?’
Gem held Doug’s arm and snuggled up, a bright smile on her face. ‘Come on you old dog, smile for the camera,’ she chided him, ‘safari guide with unwitting female tourist,’ even Doug had to smile at this.
Brian took the photo. ‘I’ll give you a copy,’ he promised.
Gem got up. ‘Come on, we need one of you, with the great white hunter,’ she took the camera from Brian. ‘Point and shoot?’
‘Yes,’ Brian said, sitting by Doug as Gem snapped the photo.
They got back on the road. Brian noticed the white saloon car with the two Africans in it, pull out of another service station and fall in behind them again. ‘There’s that white car,’ he said to Doug. ‘I wonder if they are following us.’
Doug looked in the rear view mirror. ‘I doubt it, but let’s keep an eye on them. Car jackings are uncommon on this road and no one wants an unreliable gas guzzling V-eight.
The road was good from Mtito. They were soon at the turn off to the park. Gem was particularly excited. ‘Ooh lucky me, going into the bush with a hunter,’ she cooed.
They pulled up at the gate and a ranger came out of the office. He addressed Doug in Kiswahili politely - Doug replied in kind. The ranger walked around the back of the car and peered at the bike in astonishment. He came back to the driver’s side.
‘You can’t go into the park with that motorcycle.’
Doug thought he was joking and smiled. ‘Why not?’
‘Motorcycles are not allowed in the park.’
‘Look, I’m not going to ride it, we are actually on our way to Malindi. We are not tourists.’ Doug explained patiently.
’The park rules forbid it.’ the ranger said, unmoved.
Doug gave Brian an exasperated look, and got out. ‘Now listen here,’ he said, ‘I’m not going to ride it. You want me to pay extra is that it, like I would for a trailer, right? No problem we can come to an arrangement.’
The ranger was adamant. ‘It is not a trailer.’
‘Ahhh,’ Doug said, ‘come on Bwana don’t be like that, just let us go, we are already late. You know I’m not going to ride it, wouldn’t dream of it.’
The ranger shook his head and pointed back the way they had come. ‘The way to Malindi is that one,’ and to make his point, he walked to the gate and locked it with a padlock. He called another ranger over. The two of them discussed the problem in a native dialect that Doug couldn’t follow.
Doug appealed to them. ‘Listen, you guys, be reasonable. We are only passing through and have driven all the way from Nairobi.’
The second ranger went to look and then offered a solution. ‘You can leave it here, and collect it on your way back.
Doug shook his head. ‘Yeah right.’
He looked at Brian. ‘I’m sorry, no chance. We can unload the bike and Gem and I will continue to Mombasa on it, and you can drive on through the park.’
‘No, don’t worry, let’s go on to Mombasa. I can always drive back through the park after I have finished my job in Malindi.’
A safari Landcruiser with tourists came up behind them. The first ranger rudely told Doug to move his car. Doug stared at the ranger and reversed angrily, just missing the other vehicle.
Brian said. ‘Listen Doug, don’t worry about it. It’s obviously the park rules. Let’s just continue to Mombasa.’
Gem piped up. ‘Let Brian drive for a while baby,’ she tried to soothe him.
‘Yes, I’m happy to drive,’ Brian offered.
Doug got into the passenger seat, silently seething as they drove back towards the highway. ‘Can you stop for a second; I need to take a leak.’
Brian pulled over and stopped. Doug stalked off into the bush. When he returned he said. ‘Those bastards, I’ve never come across such idiots. Of course we can tow a bike across the park, they were just being difficult. We could try at the gate in Voi, another twenty miles further on. We might find a more reasonable ranger there?’
Brian said. ‘Yes but time is running out and we have to get across the park before six p.m., as I understand it. Will there be enough time by the Voi route?’
‘You’re probably right. Listen I feel bad about messing up your trip. Here is another idea, let’s have some fun. I can assemble the bike and you can have a blast down the highway to Voi, and then Gem and I can continue on the bike to Mombasa. You can always stay in a lodge in Voi and then drive across the park tomorrow at your own pace, or follow us to the coast. To be honest, I never planned to tow the bike to Mombasa, the road is pretty bad after Voi, and I know it is likely to get damaged.’
Brian looked nervous. ‘I’m not sure.’
‘Come on, it will be real fun on the bike.’ Doug urged.
‘You do know how to ride don’t you?’ Gem challenged him.
He laughed makin
g up his mind. ‘Fireblade in Africa why not?’
They soon reassembled the bike. Doug lent him Gem’s helmet, a leather jacket and checked the fuel tank. ‘Take it easy until you get used to it and if you can’t avoid any potholes, hit them with the bike in an upright position and hold on tight.’
Brian climbed on the bike ‘Ok, see you in Voi,’ he accelerated confidently away.
*
The saloon car had diligently kept the rover in sight. It was boring work and the two men were not getting along. They had already argued over who was going to drive.
Loda was impatient. ‘Why don’t we overtake and get a couple of beers at the next town. We know where they are going anyway.’
Titus was adamant. ‘No. We follow instructions, not your buggered up miraa thinking.’ Once they got to the game park turn off, Titus called Joe. ‘They have just turned into the park.’
‘Good work,’ Joe replied. ‘Now, I want you to stay put there for at least half an hour, just in case there are any hitches. Then you are to drive back to Mtito Andei, and call me from there.’
‘Very good Sir.’
‘What did he say?’ asked Loda. Titus told him.
‘What? Are we just a damned escort? Fuck it.’ Loda opened the car door and walked off to relieve himself. When he got back, he sat and fidgeted irritably. ‘This is ridiculous,’ he muttered, ‘what the hell are we waiting for? They’ve gone into the park. Let’s get back to Mtito, those barmaids were giving me the eye.’
Titus was tired of being cooped up with this ignoramus. ‘We were told to wait, and that’s what we will do.’
‘Ok, let’s wait ten minutes and then go. What do you say?’
Titus tired of arguing. ‘Ok,’ he agreed, ‘but only if you don’t speak again until we get to Mtito.’
‘Agreed,’ said Loda, as a safari landcruiser with tourists in it turned off for the park. ‘That’s a good job if you can get it. Those white women get really hot to trot in the bush so I’m told.’
‘I thought we had agreed you wouldn’t speak.’
‘The hell with you, Mr Headmaster, come on let’s go. I’m not overjoyed to be stuck with you either.’ Titus looked at his watch and started the car. The sooner he was away from this fool the better. He turned the saloon back towards Nairobi. Thirty minutes later at Mitito, Loda pointed out the bar he wanted to go to. Titus’s mobile rang.
‘Where are you?’ Joe demanded.
‘On the road,’ he lied.
‘The rover did not go through the gate. Did they come back out?’
‘We didn’t see them Sir,’ Titus glowered at Loda.
‘You fools. I told you to wait!’ Joe yelled, guessing what had happened. ‘Find them! And call me back immediately.’
‘Shit!’ Titus swore. ‘I knew we should have waited, the rover did not go into the park.’ He raced the car to the nearest pump. ‘Fill it up now!’ he shouted.
The tank full, Titus threw money at the attendant and accelerated onto the road, racing back the way they had come.
‘How does the boss know the rover didn’t go through the gate?’
Titus drove fast, the car swaying dangerously on the uneven surface. ‘The hell do I know? We should have waited like I said.’
Loda said. ‘No need to kill us, we will catch up with them soon. That rangey isn’t going fast with the bike in tow.’
‘Shut the blast up. I’m driving.’ A few miles before Voi they caught up with the rover. ‘Where’s the bike? Titus exclaimed. ‘And the mzungu is not in the car! Now what do we do?’ he asked Loda accusingly. ‘You had better call the boss.’
Loda sneered at Titus. ‘And tell him what?’
‘Give him an update, and ask what we do next, you idiot.’
Loda tut-tutted. ‘Chill out bro’ there’s no problem,’ he drawled, and called Joe. ‘We have found the rover, but the bike and the mzungu are missing. Just outside Voi, what do you want us to do?’
Loda listened. ‘Ok boss, will do,’ and rang off.
Titus asked. ‘What did he say?’
‘He is very angry. Told us to follow the rover, he will call us back.’
Titus swore. ‘You don’t know how nasty he can get. Why the hell did I listen to you.’
‘Stop moaning,’ said Loda, chewing on his miraa contentedly. His mobile rang. ‘Ok boss,’ he said and hung up. ‘Action at last! The boss wants the car intact, he wants it to be taken through the park gate, and we will look for the mzungu later.’
‘The car, you mean the rover? What about the Indians?’
Loda drew his finger across his throat, stuck his tongue out and hissed delightedly, his eyes glistening. ‘Here’s what we will do. Her window is open, so overtake the bugger - I will tell you when - and then ram on your brakes hard. I will jump out and get the woman, you grab the man ok?’
Titus nodded, and did up his seat belt. ‘No shooting unless we have too. We can finish them off later ok, there’s too much traffic on this road. What a mess!’ he yelled psyching himself up.
Loda said. ‘No problem brother,’ checking his rear view mirror, and kissing his pistol lovingly. He did up his seat belt. ‘Ok, there’s no one behind us. Let’s do it!’ Titus pulled out to overtake, accelerating past the rover. Suddenly he turned in front of Doug and stood on the brakes. The saloon sat squarely in the path of the speeding four by four.
Doug scarcely had time to react. He had seen the saloon in the rear view mirror and slowed as it passed them. ‘Jesus!’ He shouted, as he slammed on the brakes, at the same time desperately swerving off the road to avoid a collision. Titus had anticipated the move and staying in front skilfully also went off the road, leaving the rover nowhere to go. Both cars stopped in a cloud of dust, the rover inches from the rear of the saloon. Loda had his car door open, as the cars slid to a halt. A few yards later, he had grabbed Gem by the hair through the open window. He yanked her head backwards and sideways into the rovers pillar post, stunning her. With his other hand he levelled his gun at Doug and shouted. ‘Don’t move!’
Titus was out of the driver’s side almost as fast. He pistol whipped Doug hard across his face and ripped the car keys out of the ignition. Before Doug could recover, he pulled his arm through the steering wheel and handcuffed him. With Doug immobilised, he went round to help Loda. Together they pulled Gem kicking and screaming out of the car.
Loda hit her over the head with his pistol and she passed out, crumpling at their feet. Titus handcuffed her arm to her ankle and together they carried her to the saloon and tossed her unconscious on to the back seat. Breathing hard, they went back for Doug. He had recovered his senses from the blow and had a nasty cut above his eye. Blood poured down his face blinding him.
‘We don’t have any money,’ he shouted ‘take the fucking car, we don’t care.’
Loda slapped him. ‘Shut up, where is the mzungu?’
Doug spluttered. ‘He is waiting for us at Voi, don’t kill us,’ he pleaded with them, ‘take whatever you want, please.’
‘Get him out of the car, he is bleeding all over it,’ Titus said. Loda yanked Doug out of the driver’s seat onto his feet, arm still handcuffed through the wheel. ‘Why didn’t you go through the park?’
‘They wouldn’t let us in with the motorbike. Listen - whatever is going on, this is nothing to do with us. I’m just a mechanic from Nairobi. Please bwana, don’t kill us.’
‘Yes, yes, now where are you meeting the mzungu in Voi?’
‘At the Caltex Service station.’
Titus frowned and motioned for Loda to join him round the back of the car, out of Doug’s earshot. ‘What do you think?’
‘We can put them in the boot of the saloon,’ Loda said eagerly, ‘I can take care of them. You drive the rover back to Manyani.’
Titus frowned. ‘No way can I go back to that gate. The rangers know the car, and will be suspicious. Let’s get these two organised, and then we can call up the boss.’
They went back to Doug. ‘Ok
muhindi, we are going to spare you, if you co-operate,’ Loda told him. ‘We are going to take you on a little drive and then release you, provided you don’t cause any trouble, understand?’
‘Yes, thank you bwana. We won’t cause any trouble.’
‘Good,’ said Loda. ‘Now, I’m going to remove your hand cuffs and then we are going over to the other car. We will put you and your woman in the boot. After a while we will stop and let you out, ok.’ Doug nodded. They moved Doug over to the boot and helped him climb in. Next taking the cuffs of Gem they manhandled her unconscious body in beside him. It was a tight fit. ‘Here is your woman.’ Loda said laughing, as he slammed the lid shut.
The two spontaneously slapped hands in a high five. ‘Good job bro’ masterful bit of driving!’
‘Better call up the boss. You want to do it?’ Titus handed the honours to Loda.
‘Yes sure.’ He made the call. ‘We have the car,’ he announced. Loda listened and answered questions from Joe, and then turned to Titus.
‘Ok, this is what he says. You are to drive the rover back to Manyani - he doesn’t care how you get into the park, it’s your problem. I will deal with the other details,’ he nodded at the boot. ‘And then continue my surveillance of the mzungu, until the boss can send a back-up team. He said what is most important, is that the rangey gets into the park as soon as possible.’
‘So I get the car into the park. Then what?’ asked Titus.
‘Then you call the boss,’ said Loda, irritably.
Loda tapped his mobile on the boot. ‘muhindi can you hear me?’
‘Yes,’ came the muffled reply.
‘The bags in the car - which is the mzungus and which is yours?’
Doug called out. ‘The backpack and a bag of tools are ours. The rest belongs to the mzungu.’ Loda walked to the rover took out the backpack and tools and put them in the saloon. Titus got his stuff out of the saloon car, and with a bottle of water from Brian’s cool box, started to clean up the more obvious signs of blood. Loda joyfully found a beer and opened it, helping with perfunctory and ineffective swipes with a damp cloth until Titus told him to stop.
‘Look, you’re making it worse. See if you can find pliers and a screwdriver in the tool kit.’ Loda came back with the tools.
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