“It’s not.” He dipped his head, resting his forehead against hers. “Let me explain, Foxy.”
“Dammit, Reid. I said it’s too late.”
He ran his nose along her cheek, kissed the skin below her ear. “It’s not,” he repeated, voice rough. “It can’t be.”
She tried to wriggle free, tried to ignore the way his voice, his words affected her, but it was no use. “You threw me away. Now you just expect me to forgive you and come back?”
“I fucked up. I got scared. And because of that, I made the wrong decision. The worst decision of my whole fuckin’ life.” Those big warm hands left her hips and slid around her waist, one resting at the small of her back, the other sliding up her spine to thread in her hair, effectively holding her immobile. “Let me explain, Rusty. Give me a chance to make it right.”
Maybe she’d lost her mind, but she wanted to hear what he had to say. He’d hurt her, badly, but deep down, no matter how hard she’d tried to deny it, she’d known there was more to it. She didn’t know much about relationships, but she knew what they had, and it was something special. Something beautiful and exciting and scary as hell. But something she couldn’t just turn her back on without hearing what he had to say first. “Fine.”
He released a breath and leaned in, those sexy lips heading for hers. Like hell. She slapped her hand over his mouth. “No kissing. There will be no goddamn kissing. You haven’t explained, and I sure as hell haven’t forgiven you.”
She felt him smile against her palm, but it didn’t meet his eyes. He slid his hand down her arm, wrapping his fingers around her wrist, and removed her hand from his mouth. “Let’s go.”
“Where?”
“My place.”
He started towing her across the restaurant toward the exit, and she yanked on his hand. “Oh, no. No, no, no. No way am I going to your place. You’ll use your sex juju on me and before I know it, I’ll be naked and in your bed, and we won’t get any talking done. You’re not going to distract me with sex. We talk here.”
His grin got wider, eyes sparkling dangerously. “Sex juju?”
“You know what I mean. Stop acting all innocent. You’re a damn sexual deviant, and you know it.”
“Good to know you find me so hard to resist.”
She ignored his comment and started walking in the other direction, heading to the small outdoor dining area she’d spotted earlier. “Out here.”
The courtyard was set up for alfresco dining, but no one was out here tonight. It was surrounded by trellises covered in red roses, their sweet scent permeating the air. Gas lanterns, placed strategically, bathed everything in a warm golden glow. She tried to ignore all of it—romantic was the last thing they needed—and headed to one of the tables. It was off to the side, out of direct view from the door, and where the lamps didn’t quite reach. She took a seat and so did Reid, but instead of taking the one across from her, he came around and sat beside her, close enough that his heavy thigh pressed against hers.
Resting his elbows on the table, he reached out and took her hand. She contemplated pulling away, but then when he turned to her, all humor gone, expression stricken, she got the feeling he needed to hold on to something…to her.
He glanced down at their linked fingers. “You know what I came from, Rusty. You’ve seen it with your own eyes.” He stared straight ahead, a troubled expression on his handsome face, but he wasn’t looking at anything in particular. He was focused inward. “My first real memory was from when I was about four, I think. I woke up in the night to my mother’s cries, to the sound of smashing glass. I remember getting out of bed and running into the living room. My mother must have locked the old man out, and he was smashing the front windows to get in. When he did, his hands were all cut up, and there was blood everywhere. It didn’t slow him down, he was so drunk I doubt he even felt it.”
His hand flexed around hers, eyes haunted “Reid, you don’t have to…”
“I need you to understand, Rusty. Just hear me out, please?”
She stayed quiet, could see how important this was to him, and waited for him to continue.
“That was the first night I watched my father beat my mother. I learned to hide pretty quickly after that, because if he saw me, if I tried to help, he’d turn those fists on me as well. I’d hide, listen to my mother’s screams, her cries for help, the sounds of him tearing the house apart. As I got older, I tried to fight back, and eventually the old man knew better than to come after me, but if I wasn’t around to protect her, he’d still take his anger out on my mom.” He squeezed her fingers in his. “Then one day, I snapped. I’d had enough. And that’s when I threw him out.”
Oh, God. She blinked and a tear slid down her face. What he must have been through, how he must have suffered. He’d been a little boy and no one had protected him. He’d been the one to protect his mother when she’d been unable to do it for herself.
He turned to her and made a low, soothing sound before swiping the tear from her cheek. “I’m sorry,” she whispered.
“Shit, Rusty.” He cupped her face in his hands. “Don’t cry, baby. I’m all right now.”
She nodded, but it wasn’t all right, he wasn’t all right. He’d proven that when he’d pushed her away. Reid didn’t deserve what he’d been through, no child deserved that, and there was nothing she could do to fix it, nothing she could do to take that pain away from him.
He held her gaze. “I sent him away, but he never left us alone. He’s always been there, trying to force his way back, even after all these years. And that dark, violent part of him that made him the monster he is, that still lives inside him, even after losing his wife and kid…” He blew out a shuddery breath. “I’ve always been terrified…that it’s inside me as well, that that darkness is in there, waiting to come out. And I didn’t want to risk it, risk hurting you. After what I did, the way I went at that asshole who hurt you, I freaked out. I thought I was turning into my father.” He ran his thumb across her jaw. “I would rather die than hurt you, do you understand? Do you see now why I tried to send you away?”
Lifting her hands, she rested them over his. “You are not your father. You could never be like him. You saved your mom. You kicked him out. You’re a good man, Reid.” His mouth was close and she closed the gap, pressing her lips against his, kissing him tenderly. When she lifted her head, he was breathing heavily. “I trust you. I know you’d never hurt me,” she said against his lips.
His arms came around her like iron bands, so tight she could barely breathe. But she didn’t care and held him in return, just as fiercely. “Shit, baby,” he rasped.
She leaned back, locking eyes with his. “Take me home, Reid.”
Chapter Twenty-One
The key wouldn’t get in the damn lock. Reid was past need, past hunger for the woman at his side. He was desperation, pure and simple. To the point his hands shook so badly he could barely control them. He took a calming breath that did absolutely nothing to slow his racing pulse, but, finally, the key slid home. He shoved the door open and pulled Rusty in after him, leading her into the house.
“Too damn long,” he said, knowing he made no sense at all but struggling to form coherent sentences at this point.
Her chest rose and fell rapidly, lips parted, the lower one glossy after licking it. She was as desperate for a taste of him as he was of her. “Reid?”
Moving forward, stalking her, he kept coming as she backed up. “Seven nights I climbed into that bed, the smell of you on my sheets, believing I’d lost you, with only the memory of how it felt with you bedside me. How it felt to push into that tight, sweet body. The sound of your cries when you got close. The way you curled into my side after, as if you couldn’t get close enough.” He shook his head. “I didn’t like it, Foxy. Not one fuckin’ bit.”
They’d reached the stairs leading up to his bedroom, and she stood there, looking stunned and highly turned on. “You missed me?” she whispered.
“Baby,
missed does not describe the way I felt without you here.” He stepped closer, forcing her up against the wall.
She tipped her head back, licked her lips. “Prove it. Show me how much you missed me.”
Oh, yeah, he’d show her all right. “I could fuck you right here, right now, against the wall, but I need you in my bed.” Bending at the waist, he grabbed her ass and flung her over his shoulder. She squeaked as he carried her up the stairs to his room, laughing in that soft raspy way that made him hard.
He strode in and set her down on her feet at the end of the bed. She didn’t say a word, all humor wiped from her face, and she waited, waited for him to tell her what he wanted. Rusty loved it when he took charge, loved him to take control when they were in bed, and dammit, he loved that, too. Needed it. She knew it, saw that in him, and she gave it to him.
She gave him everything he needed. All he’d ever need.
Running his hand down her bare arm, he whispered, “On your knees.”
She went down without a word, eyes on him, lips slightly parted, like she was anticipating his cock in her mouth. Reaching down, he ran a finger along her jaw. “You said you like sucking my cock, when I pull your hair, when I fuck your sweet mouth. You want that?”
“Yes. Yes, I want that.”
Her eyes damn near shone in the dim light, and he had to swallow past the lump in his throat so he could speak. “Undo my pants. Free my cock.”
She lifted her hands to the front of his trousers, and they trembled as she worked on his belt.
He was no saint. This had already been established. He could admit he was a jealous asshole, and Rusty’s words that day he’d forced her away, when she’d shoved down the pain he’d caused and struck back, hadn’t left him. They’d been on loop in his head the entire week.
Cupping her jaw, he made her look up at him. “Did you mean what you said? Did you fuck anyone else, the guy at the party?” He shook his head when she narrowed her eyes, before she got pissed. “I know I have no right to ask, after what I said to you, but I need to know. It’s making me crazy, baby, thinking of you with someone else. That I could have pushed you to do that because of the way I hurt you.”
She stopped what she was doing and blinked up at him. He ran his thumb over her soft lips, couldn’t stop himself from touching her. “Would it make a difference if I had? Would it change the way you feel about me?”
“No. Never.” He realized nothing could ever do that.
She held his gaze. “You’re right. You don’t have a right to ask, not about that. Because you did hurt me, you cut me deep.” Then she shrugged. “I spent the week missing you, wishing I was with you. I didn’t mean any of it. I wanted to hurt you the way you hurt me. They were just words. I didn’t want anyone else then, and I don’t want anyone else now.” She shook her head. “I didn’t sleep with anyone else. As for the guy at the party, I don’t even know the man. He’d been talking to me for two minutes before you walked in.”
Relief swamped him, along with a possessive hunger so strong his knees threatened to give out. “I don’t think I could have handled it, if I’d driven you to that.”
Rusty’s little sister had known exactly what buttons to push with a guy like him, and it had worked. If it wasn’t for her interfering, he might not be here now, with the woman he loved.
The woman he loved.
The words swam around his head, settling in, taking root. He should be freaked out, but he wasn’t. He was surprised he hadn’t seen it sooner. He’d never met anyone like Rusty. Didn’t want anyone else, and he hadn’t been lying—this last week without her, believing he might never get this chance again, had torn him up.
Rusty dropped her hands. “Did you really think I’d just run off and start fucking anything with an available hard dick?”
No, he didn’t. He knew better than that, knew her better than that. “I’m sorry, Foxy. I know that’s not you, but being away from you…it fucked with my head. I’m acting like a jealous asshole.”
“Yeah, but you’re my jealous asshole” She smiled, reached up, and slid down the zipper on his trousers. “Hmm, maybe I should punish you.”
Easy as that, she forgave him. He didn’t deserve her, for a fuck of a lot of reasons. But right then he didn’t care. He had a second chance, and he wasn’t going to blow it. She tugged down his pants and slid her hand into the front of his boxers, pulling the elastic out and over his erection, then shoved them to his feet, freeing his achingly hard cock.
He watched her, eyes locked on his dick, licking her lips, and shuddered, close to losing it. “You gonna punish me with that sexy mouth?”
“Yes. I’ve been dreaming about this beautiful cock, of sucking and licking it until you can’t bear it another minute.”
“Yeah, then what? What happens after that?” He was panting, and when she wrapped her fingers around his length and squeezed, he hissed. She slid her hands up and down, then leaned in and kissed the tip, her pink tongue darting out to taste the glistening pre-come.
“You fist my hair and push deep into my mouth, use me to get yourself off, taking what you want from me.” Wrapping her lips around the head, she sucked harder, making him groan and his hips buck. “You lose control.”
“You like that? You like it when I lose control?” he growled.
“I love it.”
She was making him crazy, and he was damn close to doing just that. So close to snapping and doing all the things she’d just described that it wasn’t funny.
Fisting her hair, he thrust his hips forward, just a little, pushing the head of his cock past her lips. “You want this? You want me to fuck your mouth?”
She gave a little nod, all she could do with him pushing deeper. She moaned, and the vibrations nearly sent him over the edge. He couldn’t do this much longer, the wet heat of her mouth, that wicked tongue moving against the underside of his dick, the light teasing suction. He couldn’t hold back. Thrusting his fingers into her hair, he held her immobile and started to do as she asked. The urge to ram into her, pound into her mouth was hard to ignore, and when she reached up and took his balls in her hand, massaging gently, his hips flexed involuntarily, shoving deeper. And fuck, she took it, didn’t pull away, gave herself totally to him.
His balls drew up tight, sparks of pleasure firing to life in his lower belly, down his shaft. He was close to coming, so damn close. But now, tonight, after everything they’d been through, after the realization that he loved her, that he planned to spend the rest of his life with her—yeah, he needed to be inside her when he came.
Pulling out carefully, he brought her to her feet. She made a sound of protest until he took her mouth, plundering it, reveling in their combined taste on her tongue. “Take off your clothes, baby. Get on the bed.”
She didn’t mess around, and he watched her strip, while he did the same, eating up the sight of her. God, she was beautiful. Perfect. When she was bare, she crawled onto the bed and lay back for him. He came down beside her, brushing her wild red hair away from her face, trailing his hand down her flat stomach. She spread for him, offering up that sweet body without hesitation, and he slid a finger along her slit, groaning at the feel of her slick flesh, at how ready for him she was.
“Shit, baby.” Spreading her lips, he used her arousal to coat his fingers, then watched her face as he circled her tight little clit. He loved the way she gasped and arched her back, seeking more. “Feels good?”
“God, yes.”
Tracing her inner folds, he leaned in and sucked on her tit, drawing a hard nipple into his mouth as he pushed a finger deep. So hot. So damn wet.
Her inner muscles spasmed around him. She was close already, and he’d barely touched her. Sliding the digit out, he glided up to her clit, circling it again until she was writhing and gasping, then down to her tight opening, this time pushing two fingers inside. Her back arched, and her stomach muscles quivered. He felt the beginnings of her orgasm, the muscles gripping him tighter, rippling over hi
s fingers. She rode his hand, mouth open, sexy moans filling the room the closer she got.
Then right before she went over, he pulled out. He wanted to make this amazing for her, but he also needed her close, because he didn’t know how long he’d last now that he had her under him.
She groaned. “No, please don’t stop.”
Crawling between her thighs, he reached over and grabbed a condom from the bedside drawer and, quickly opening it, rolled it down his throbbing cock. “When you come apart, I want to feel it. I need to be inside you this time.”
Hooking his hands around the backs of her knees, he forced them up, spreading her wider. She was completely open, exposed. “Guide me in.”
She reached down with a trembling hand and brought the blunt tip of his cock to her slick opening. “That’s it.” He pressed forward, pushed inside her slow and easy, inch by painstaking inch, watching the way she stretched to take him, watching his cock sink into her. “So hot, sweetheart. So fucking good. Can you feel how I stretch you, how your body struggles to take all of me?” She moaned, glazed, hungry eyes locked on his. “But you can, you can take it all, can’t you, Foxy? You can take every inch. You love it. Love how full I make you.”
“Yes. God, I love it.” She bit her lip hard as he withdrew, and cried out when he slammed forward, filling her completely.
He shook with the effort to go slow, but he took his time. He wanted her climax to be intense, and building it slowly would do just that. He leaned forward. “Put your legs over my shoulders.”
She did, and he reached down to circle her clit with firm even strokes. Her hands went to his hair, fisting it, pulling him in for a wet, openmouthed kiss, all tongues and teeth. He slid forward, going deep, and ground against her. She gasped into his mouth, her body tensing, then she threw her head back and came, screaming out his name. She clamped down on his cock repeatedly, but he gritted past the need to join her, to come just as hard. He wasn’t finished yet, not by a long shot.
He continued to slide in and out of her, watching her the whole time. He’d never seen a more beautiful sight than this woman coming apart around him…his woman.
Revved (Axle Alley Vipers) Page 16