by HB Heinzer
Immediately, Julia regretted calling him outside. Her sweater was no match for the clear, cold night. The only consolation was Micah was in an even worse state than she was. Dressed in an over-washed t-shirt, jeans and no shoes, Micah rubbed his arms in a vain attempt to warm himself.
"Now that we're freezing our asses off, what's going on?" he barked.
"Want to tell me about the errands you had to run today?" Julia asked, giving him one last chance to come clean. Everything that would happen over the course of the next eight days hinged on this one answer.
Micah looked confused by her accusatory tone for a moment before he dropped his gaze from hers. "I'm assuming you heard that I took Caleb to see his mom?" he asked.
He was being honest. It was a good start. How could one man be so willing to admit to the things he'd done wrong but couldn't understand that if he didn't hide things, there would be nothing to confess?
"No, I didn't hear it. I was privileged enough to see the three of you. Why did you lie to me about what you were doing? I thought we were being honest with each other this time," she spat.
"I didn't lie to you. I told you I had things to do," he said as if it was a completely legitimate argument.
Stunned silence filled the air. "And what about the times you told me you didn't know what was going on with her? Those weren't lies?" It made Julia sick to run through the possible reasons he would withhold information from her.
The last time he hadn't told her about Karen, it was because he was trying to make a relationship work with the mother of his child. Were they going to try again now that she was sober?
Micah took two steps towards her but stopped when he saw that she was matching his steps trying to back away. "Jules, she's Caleb's mom. She's trying to turn her life around and she wants to see her son. Am I supposed to tell her that she can't?"
His answer was almost too perfect, except that it didn't answer her question. If it was simply a matter of Karen seeing her son, it wouldn't be an issue. That wasn't the issue. The issue was that Julia only knew because she saw them. He didn't have enough trust in their relationship to tell her the truth. History was repeating itself.
"Don't. Do not make this about Caleb," she shot back at him, "This is about you and me. This is about you lying to me." The tears that threatened earlier began to fall. "You told me you didn't know what was going on with her. You didn't tell me you were taking Caleb to see her. Why? Why couldn't you tell me?" she sobbed.
This time, Julia didn't stop Micah when he came closer. "I'm sorry, I should have told you," he said, lifting her face until their eyes met. Gently, he brushed her tears with his thumb. "I was scared to tell you. I know that probably sounds weak but it is what it is. If I told you when you were back in New York, would you be here now?"
"I don't know," she bawled pounding her fists into his chest. There was truth in his words. She would have used Karen's presence in their lives as an excuse to stop trying to make their relationship work. It was hard enough trusting him while she was so far away. Knowing that his ex who wanted them back was here while she wasn't would have planted the seed of doubt that the distance between them would have nurtured.
"But why didn't you tell me this morning?" Her chest heaved with each sob she released.
Micah pressed her head to his chest and began softly rubbing her back. "Because I'm an idiot," he admitted.
"Well, at least you got one thing right today," Julia whispered.
"Now, can we go back in where it's warm if you want to keep talking? You're dressed a bit better for this weather than I am and you're shivering," he said through chattering teeth. Not only was he an idiot, he was a pansy about the cold.
Julia narrowed her eyes slightly. "I'm still pissed," she stated, "but yes, we can go inside." As she reached the side door, she turned back to Micah and pushed one finger into his chest. "This is strike two. There are no more chances."
Micah turned her around and started walking to the house with his arms wrapped around her, "I don't deserve any chances. I'm still trying to figure out what good I did in a past life that you're here at all."
Caleb eyed them suspiciously when Julia pulled the sliding door open but didn't ask any questions. Micah carried a load of wood into the living room and started a fire. After Caleb went to bed, he planned on telling Julia everything about Karen's recovery and the time she was spending with their son.
He wasn't ready to give up on his chance at happiness with Julia. It scared him to know that the odds were good that she would still leave once she knew everything.
Dinner was uncomfortable. Caleb spent the meal looking from Julia to Micah and back, trying to figure out what was going on. The adults spent much of the meal staring at their plates. They had been looking forward to spending the week together. Micah knew it was bound to be a painful week if he couldn't make things right.
Micah loaded the dishwasher while Julia ducked into her office to check email and call Krista. Caleb asked to go to his room and play Xbox. For the first time since they'd set up his bedroom, Micah was conceded that there were benefits to Caleb having a game system in his room.
The glow of the fire was the only light in the living room when Julia exited her office. There was a bottle of wine with two glasses sitting on the coffee table. For the second night in a row, Micah was showing her a charming side of himself she'd seldom experienced. She wasn't sure she could bring herself to enjoy the romance tonight. There was too much uncertainty looming between them.
When Julia hesitated, Micah stood and led her around the end of the sectional sofa handing her a glass of wine urging her to sit next to him. He tried to hide the disappointment when she curled into the opposite end of the couch. He stared at the dancing flames while she savored her drink, figuring he'd be lucky if she was ready to talk before the bottle was empty.
"This is nice. Thanks," she muttered as she refilled her glass.
"It was the least I could do." Micah shrugged. "Are you up for finishing our talk?" he asked hesitantly. Julia nodded and turned to face him.
In a move that could change his life forever, Micah decided to put everything on the table.
He started by explaining to Julia that Karen had gone to treatment directly from jail after she'd broken into the house. She was subjected to routine drug tests as part of her probation. At the urging of her counselor, Micah had started allowing Karen to see Caleb. He wouldn't be spending the night with Karen and they weren't allowed to go anywhere without supervision, but it was good for both of them. That wound up being the easy part of the conversation.
"Where is she living?" Julia asked. She was listening to everything Micah had to say and this was the first time she interrupted him.
Micah swallowed hard. He had started to think they were going to get through this. With her question, he was screwed whether he lied or told the truth. He nervously bit his lower lip as he tried to figure out how to move forward.
"Well..." he stammered, "She's...uh...she's living at Gran's." Just like ripping off a bandage, the truth was out.
Julia was furious. She had never understood what it meant to see red until that moment. She pinched her lips between her teeth while she composed herself. As soon as she trusted herself to not scream she said, "You mean to tell me that your ex-wife, the woman who attacked me in a bathroom and then broke into my house, is now living in the same house as you and your son? But she's--"
He cut her off before she could continue, "No, you told me to stay here. We don't live in the same house as her. She needed a place to stay, my room there is empty because I did as you told me to and moved my things here. The only belongings I have at Gran's now are some boxes in the attic."
Julia closed her eyes and took some deep breaths. It wasn't easy to stay calm with everything she was hearing. "Okay," she seethed, "So, you moved all of your stuff here. All of it?" She vaguely remembered the conversation when she told him to bring everything to the house since he was spending most of his time
there and the house would be sitting empty otherwise.
Knowing that he had listened to her, that the majority of his possessions were now in this house, was unsettling. How had she been foolish enough to tell him to move in? After all, that is generally what it means when you tell someone to move everything into your home.
Tension was growing in the room. "Jules, you said--"
"I know it's what I said, dammit," she snipped. This was no time to have her words thrown back in her face. "It's just a lot to digest right now." In one swallow, the rest of her rather large goblet of wine was gone. Micah reached for the bottle and offered her a refill. She accepted, urging him to keep pouring until the glass was filled to the rim.
"Who's paying for her to live there?"
Teeth grazed Micah's lower lip again. It was a sure sign there wasn't going to be anything she wanted to hear coming from his mouth. "Well, I am. For now. But it's just until she can find a job and then she'll be paying all of her own bills."
It took everything Julia had to resist the urge to bolt out of the house at this news. She was paying rent on the house that Micah and Caleb were living in while Micah paid rent for his ex. There was something completely twisted about the entire situation.
"And you really think this is all okay? You really are an idiot if you think I'm going to pay rent here and on my apartment while you're supporting her. I don't know what in the hell I was thinking--"
Again, Micah stopped her before she could get very far into her epic rant. "Stop," he commanded. His volume stayed level but he was more forceful than she expected. "You're not paying rent here."
She stared blankly at him, wondering if he thought she was a complete moron. "Um, I'm pretty sure I've been sending checks, so yeah, I pay rent here. And you're paying for Karen to live rent-free."
"Okay, I'm going to grab a beer. While I do that, can you do whatever you need to do to make it so you can listen to me when I come back?" There was a hint of resignation in his tone. "Please?"
Julia nodded as she drained another glass of wine.
While he was out of the room, Julia closed her eyes. This was all wrong. She should have stayed in New York. And again, it seemed that everyone knew what was going on except her. When had everyone become so twisted that everyone thought this crap was normal? She wondered if Carly knew about Karen living at the farm.
"Do you want to keep going?" Micah asked when he came back in the room. This time, he sat down close to Julia and motioned for her to lean against him. She shook her head. He moved to the edge of the couch. "No, you don't want to talk or you just don't want me touching you?"
Julia rolled her eyes, "Micah, I can't have you close to me right now. If there's more to say, say it. This is the only time we're doing this, so spill it."
After taking a long draw off his bottle of Miller, Micah started picking at the label with his thumb. "Okay, you're probably going to be mad..." he drifted off and looked for Julia's reaction. He knew it was a bad way to start the biggest revelation but it was true.
When she didn't say anything, he continued, "I bought the house from Mrs. Stevens. She agreed to cash your checks and then return the money to you after I had a chance to talk to you. She didn't realize how much work the house was going to need when she bought it and wanted me to cut corners. I don't work that way, so I offered to buy it from her and she agreed."
"You did what?" Julia shouted. There was no more holding herself back. She had to be dreaming. That was the only way everything Micah was saying made sense. This was too twisted, even for Brooklyn.
"I was looking for properties to buy and Mrs. Stevens couldn't put more money in than what she had already budgeted. When we reached an impasse on the renovations, I told her I would buy the house but I needed to tell you in person."
"Who all knew?" Julia sneered. It was like having the rug pulled out from under her while everyone watched.
"Julia," Micah pleaded, "please hear me out. I still think we can work things out. I sure didn't think it was going to be like this--"
"You didn't think it was going to be like this? No, I think you just didn't think, period."
Micah cocked his head, "True. But please, listen to me. I love you. No matter what happens, I always will. Even if you never move back here, this is the home that was yours when we reconnected," he explained. "Like I said, Mrs. Stevens didn't want to do it this way but Annie convinced her that it was okay."
She couldn't believe what she was hearing. Only in this backwoods town would anything like this happen. This is why she couldn't wait to get out of town as a teenager. Small towns made people lose their minds. There was no other explanation for a "best friend" who thought it was acceptable to keep secrets like this. Only in a small town would a landlord sell a house without mentioning it to the tenant.
There was no point in continuing the conversation. Julia left the room without another word. If it could be done without depleting what was left of her savings, she planned to change her flight back to New York. For the second time this year, she would abandon most of her belongings to escape a hopeless relationship. Hopefully she would learn her lesson this time.
Chapter Seventeen
There were many words Julia used to describe New York. Until she found herself cocooned in the new wine-colored down comforter on Sunday morning, 'normal' was never a word that would have described her life in the city. Now, it was the only place where life made sense. She needed to get back to her dingy, depressing apartment. She would much rather be depressed and claustrophobic than confused and betrayed.
Once she walked out the door, there was no turning back this time. Too much had happened in the time she'd been gone. Honesty was the one thing she'd demanded of Micah and he'd failed her. It shouldn't be too surprising since it wasn't the first time but that did nothing to ease the pain in her chest.
Last night, she cried until there were no more tears and her body shut down. Today, there was only pain.
Reluctantly, Julia pulled herself out of bed. Puffy, red eyes underscored by bruises from wiping away tears stared back at her in the bathroom mirror. The hair she'd had cut and highlighted in anticipation of her trip looked like a frayed straw mat placed on top of her head.
Feeling marginally better after a shower long enough that it drained the water heater she knew it was time to face the day. Lost in thoughts of everything she needed to do to sever ties to Wisconsin, Julia didn't notice the shaggy-haired boy hovering over a cereal bowl at the kitchen table.
"Morning, Julia," he mumbled.
Startled by the fact that she wasn't alone, she dropped the container of coffee she was pulling from the cupboard. Looking at the dusting of coffee grounds covering the counter and rustic tile floor, Julia was convinced there was nothing that could turn this trip around. If she believed in signs, she imagined there were flashing neon ones telling her to get the hell out of here.
"Caleb...hi," she stuttered. As if the fumbled coffee wasn't embarrassing enough, she noticed as she swept grounds from the counter into her hand that there was already a fresh-brewed pot of coffee. Next to the pot was a slender ceramic vase with three white roses, her favorite coffee mug and a card.
If Micah was as good at talking to her as he was at begging forgiveness, she figured they'd have a perfect relationship.
Before she finished cleaning the grounds from the granite, Caleb was behind her with the broom. "Dad warned me you were no good before coffee," he laughed as he returned to the table once the floor was clean.
She filled her mug and joined him at the table. "He's right. Where is he, anyway?" she asked when she noticed his truck wasn't in the driveway.
Caleb shrugged, "Dunno. He said he had to do something and took off about an hour ago." His brow was furrowed as he slurped the milk from his cereal bowl.
"Oh," Julia muttered. Even if Caleb knew where Micah was, she wasn't about to press him for information. She looked over the top of her mug as she sipped the strong brew. "Everything okay wi
th you?" she asked.
She knew something was bothering him. During one of their fights, Micah had told her that she was the only person Caleb had opened up to. If that was true, she prayed her leaving hadn't destroyed their bond and he would talk to her.
He stared into the empty bowl in front of him. "Yeah, I'm fine," he said. He was lying and they both knew it.
Not wanting to push the subject, Julia stood from the table. She needed to get online to change her flight, call Krista to let her know she'd be back early and then she planned on packing anything she couldn't part with.
As she walked to the staircase, an uneasy voice trailed behind her. "Julia?"
She turned to see Caleb a few steps behind her with the same worried look on his face. "What's up?" she asked.
"Is everything okay with you and my dad?" Her heart crumbled at sadness in his voice. She thought back to the morning he told her about his parents fighting when he was younger. He'd heard them fighting last night. The one thing she hoped to avoid had happened.
"It's...we're..." the words failed her. She tried to figure out how to tell Caleb the truth without telling him that his father was an idiot with some pretty serious issues to overcome before he could have a real relationship with anyone.
"Things aren't always easy when you're an adult," she stated. It was the truth. "Your dad and I have it even harder sometimes because we don't see each other as often as we'd like, but everything will work out however it's supposed to." She was impressed with her ability to think quickly before she had a full cup of coffee in her system.
"But last night," he pushed, "that was something else. Are you mad that he's making me talk to my mom?"
"No," she answered, "it's not that. Look, Caleb, what's going on between me and your dad is our problem. It's nothing you need to be worrying about, okay?"
Caleb shook his head, "You're wrong. Dad's different when he's talking to you or when you're here. He wasn't happy this morning. And I know you guys were talking about my mom last night, so that means it has to do with me."