by K E Osborn
“Callie, this is ridiculous! How am I supposed to possibly go on knowing that he is raising my child? How can I sit back and watch that happen? How would you like it if the roles were reversed, huh?”
She started crying again. “Mike I know what I’m asking is beyond ridiculous and terrible, I know how badly I’ve hurt you and I know how much this will continue to hurt you as well. I’m a terrible person Mike, and I hate myself for doing this to you,” she sobbed.
I felt bad and I didn’t want her upset. I wrapped my arms around her and held her tight while she cried into my shoulder. I wanted to take her and run away, but Callie always had a sense of duty and she always stuck to her word. I knew no matter what I said or how hard I tried to convince her to leave him, deep down I knew she wouldn’t. The only way I was going to be able to see my child was to be in its life as just another person. I would have to keep this secret for my entire life. I had no idea if I could even do that, but I needed to try, otherwise I may not see my child grow up.
That was absolutely not an option.
“You’re not a terrible person, Callie; you’re the least terrible person I know. I love you and our child, and if having to take a back seat means I can still be a part of both your lives, then I guess that’s what I have to do. But just so you know, if at any stage you want to leave him and run away with me, I’ll be ready in a heartbeat,” I said making her laugh slightly.
She looked up at me and I wiped her tears. “I’m, so sorry, Mike.”
“Me, too.”
I could tell by the look in her eyes that she meant it, and I knew she was sorry that it had to be this way. If I’d tried harder before the wedding to make her see that life with Alistair was not the correct path, things would be so different now. But I failed, so now this was the life I was forced to live.
We held each other for a while until I realized that Alistair would be waiting for her call. I pulled back and looked at her; she half smiled and nodded, knowing that our time together was up. On one hand, I was elated, I was going to be a father, then I’d remember how it had to be and I’d be devastated all over again.
I walked her to the car and we drove in silence back to the mansion. Alistair and Callie would be getting their own mansion soon and I’d have to figure out a way to be around, so that I could see my child growing up. We pulled up at the mansion and Alistair and Patty were already at their work places. Once I dropped Callie off I had to go to Patty and finish work for the day, but all I really wanted to do was to spend it with Callie, before the lie became a reality. I opened the car door and helped her out.
“It’ll be okay, Mike, you’ll see,” she whispered and kissed me on the cheek.
I wanted to burst into tears at that point. This whole thing was so fucked up. She walked into the mansion and I got back into the car. I gripped on to the steering wheel tightly with white knuckles and shook it as I let out a loud scream, venting my frustration. I sat in the car for a while just trying to lower my blood pressure. I couldn’t believe how my life had turned to shit, again. For a brief second I thought that I should’ve chosen Doug and the boys over Callie, I would’ve been better off. I immediately felt bad and removed that thought from my head.
When I eventually arrived at work, Patty was on the phone.
“Yes, we’ll see you tomorrow, Jerry. Okay, bye,” he said and hung up the phone.
I walked in and sat down on the seat opposite his desk.
“Good news Mike, I found your replacement. Jerry starts tomorrow, so you can finish off today and then you can leave like I promised,” he declared and went back to his work.
My heart sank. I just found out I’m going to be a father and in the mess of today I forgot that I had resigned.
How the hell was I going to see my child now?
“Mr. O’Connell, Sir, is there any chance I can keep my job? I’ve changed my mind and I would like to stay on,” I explained, hopeful, but I knew Patty, once he made up his mind he never changed it.
“Well, Son, I just told Jerry to start tomorrow. It wouldn’t be very fair of me to go back on my word now would it?” he asked, giving me the answer I knew I’d get.
Great, I was going to be a father, but in a couple of hours I would be officially jobless and now homeless.
Good one Mike!
“Of course, sorry for asking, Sir.”
I stood up to walk out and to try and figure my life out.
“Of course, Son, even though your job with me is now over, I’m sure my son would like a chauffeur of his own. He has a child on the way and I know he’ll be looking for someone to take Callie to all her appointments and so forth. I’d ask Alistair, if you still want a job that is,” he responded with a smirk.
The thought of asking for any kind of favor from Alistair made my skin crawl, but if it was the only option of seeing my child grow up, then I’d have to harden the hell up and take one on the chin.
“Thanks Sir,” I said and walked out as Patty didn’t need me for a couple of hours. I made my way to the mansion to discuss with Callie about becoming their chauffeur. I wasn’t sure how she’d react, but I saw it as our best and basically the only option.
She agreed and said she’d talk to Alistair and make sure that it happened. She seemed quite excited about it actually, which made me excited. But then I remembered that Alistair would be my boss and my excitement soon dwindled away.
Alistair agreed, I have no idea how she did it, but he came to my room while I was packing and told me I had the job. I was gracious and thanked him, but when he left I wanted to throttle the smug bastard. He was over the moon that I’d be working for him, even though we were friends once, he still treated me like the help. I knew I wasn’t his equal, so he probably had a right to look down on me, but I guess I thought that maybe as we grew older, he’d grow up a bit and see that financial status doesn’t make you any more of a man. By that time Alistair was raking it in, he hadn’t followed in his father’s footsteps to become an entrepreneur, rather he started his own finance business and it was doing really well. The only reason that made me happy was because I knew Callie and our baby would want for nothing.
I started working for them the next day and I mainly drove Alistair to O’Connell Finance and then went back to the mansion and did whatever Callie needed. I was glad that I’d be attending appointments with her for our baby as I got to hear firsthand how everything was going before Alistair did. For this, I was eternally thankful.
Every day was the same. I’d drive Alistair to work and then come back to the new mansion and spend the day with Callie. We never acted on our chemistry as Callie was many things, but a cheater was not one of them. Not since she was married anyway. It came toward the end of her pregnancy and the doctor said she could find out the sex of the baby. I was over the moon, I’d know if we were having a boy or a girl. She said Alistair didn’t want to know, so it would be our little secret. Something just for us to know about our child and no one else would. I didn’t go in to the appointment with her. We thought it’d be too obvious and that I probably wouldn’t be able to contain my excitement. So, I waited impatiently in the car. It felt like forever waiting for Callie to come out of the doctor’s office. I was so impatient that I got out of the car and started pacing up and down the path. I was starting to get worried, while every possibility was running through my mind. Maybe something was wrong and that’s why it was taking so long? Eventually I decided I was going inside, so I started walking up the stairs toward the doctor’s office and just as I started to open the door Callie came out. I looked up at her and she was crying. A sinking feeling ran straight through me. Something was wrong. I knew it. I walked up to her and she cuddled into my side as we walked back down the stairs toward the car.
“Callie?” I asked as she cried into her hands.
She looked up at me and she was choking the words out, but I couldn’t understand her. I held her at arm's length bracing myself for the impending doom about to strike.
&n
bsp; “Callie, sweetheart, talk to me,” I said and I pulled her hands from her face. She was crying, but smiling. That confused me completely.
“Callie,” I exclaimed loudly and she looked at me and smiled brightly easing my nerves.
“We’re having a boy, Mike,” she said and she hugged me tightly.
“Wait, then why are you upset?” I asked, still waiting for the bad news to come.
“I’m not, I’m just so happy, I can’t stop crying,” she said and I exhaled a laugh. Thank God, I had no idea what I would’ve done if something was wrong. I felt lighter, like a weight had been lifted.
“We’re having a son?” I said as it slowly started to sink in and she looked at me and nodded with a giant smile.
“We’re having a son,” I exclaimed excitedly and leaned in hugging her so tightly. I wanted to pick her up and spin her around and it took all my strength not to do that, but she was heavily pregnant, and there was no way I was going to risk hurting either one of them.
“Mike, I think you should pick his name,” she said and a sudden wash of raw emotion ran over me.
“But what about, Alistair?” I said and she cupped my cheek.
“Mike, he’s your son, you should name him. Alistair, will go with whatever I choose, so I want you to know that he’s yours and you got to name him,” she said and my bottom lip trembled.
“Really?” I asked.
She laughed and nodded. There was only one name I wanted, Harrison, but that would’ve been too obvious as it was my Father’s name. So, I thought hard and decided on my grandfather’s name. It means something to me, but Alistair would never know.
“How about, Aiden?” I asked and her smile grew from ear to ear.
“That’s your Grandfather’s name, right?” she asked and I nodded.
A tear fell down her cheek and I wiped it away.
“I absolutely love it! Our baby will be named Aiden,” she said and I couldn’t help myself, so I leaned in and kissed her lips softly. She didn’t pull away, but she didn’t kiss me back either. She kept to her promise of not cheating on Alistair. As I had kissed her and she didn’t kiss back, she had nothing to feel guilty over. All I knew was that I was more in love with her and our son Aiden than ever before.
Chapter Five
Months had passed, and one night after dinner I drove Alistair and Callie to the hospital. Our son was coming into the world and I was so excited. I’d finally get to meet Aiden. I drove so fast I don’t even really remember how we actually got to the hospital, but we were there in a flash. I raced out of the car and around to help Callie out and inside along with Alistair of course. She was in so much pain it was killing me that I couldn’t help her, be with her and whisper in her ear how much I loved her, but that wasn’t my job anymore. The nurses moved her into a wheelchair and everything was happening so fast I couldn’t breathe. The nurse wheeled her toward some doors and Alistair and I were both following behind. The nurse stopped at the door and looked at us both.
“Only the father can come in here,” she said and that’s when the nausea truly kicked in.
I stopped and watched as Alistair and Callie went through to the birthing ward. I stood and stared at the doors for, well, I don’t even know how long. I felt sick. I knew this would happen, but it didn’t stop me from being in undeniable agony. Alistair would watch my son being born… my son. He’d cut Aiden’s umbilical cord and he’d be the first one to see him, my beautiful boy, my Aiden. All while I’m stuck out here for God knows how long, waiting to see my baby. It hurt so much, and I was angry. Angry at Callie. Angry at Alistair. But mostly, angry at myself for letting this happen. I leaned my head against the wall and softly cried. I was devastated. I should’ve been in there. Alistair had no right. I detached myself from the wall and walked back outside. I had no idea what I was doing, but I saw a man with a cigarette and even though I had never smoked a day in my life, I wanted one badly. I walked over to the man, who seemed quite happy.
“Hi, sorry to interrupt, but do you have a spare one of those?” I asked him and he immediately handed one to me.
“It’s hard to watch hey?” the man said as I put the cigarette in my mouth.
“Pardon?” I questioned as he leaned over and lit the nasty habit.
“Your wife having your baby, it’s hard to watch. Don’t worry the tobacco will help,” he said.
I nodded and took in a deep lung full of toxic fumes. I tried to hide my cough, but the man just laughed at me.
“Don’t worry, it gets easier with time, the smoking and watching your children being born,” he stated and patted me on the back as I took in another lung full of cigarette smoke.
He threw his butt to the ground and stepped on it. “I better get back in there. She’ll kill me if she knew I was smoking again,” he said and walked away.
I wanted to hit something, or drink a whole bottle of whisky, anything but be here right now. But I couldn’t leave Callie. I knew she probably wouldn’t even have me in her thoughts right now, but just in case I wanted her to know I was here, for her and our boy, Aiden.
I took in another drag when images of Alistair holding my newborn son flashed through my mind. My stomach lurched and I spun around quickly and heaved into the garden bed. I couldn’t stop the violent wrenching no matter how hard I tried. The tears followed next and my legs gave way and I sat down on the pavement next to the garden and sobbed. I stayed outside sitting on the bench until morning. People would come and go and some would ask if I was alright. I’d simply nod and they would walk off. As the sun rose I walked back inside and used the restroom. I looked at myself in the mirror and I looked as crappy as I felt. I washed my face and went back out to the waiting room. I sat down and I felt like I was in a trance. I stared at a magazine for a few hours, I wasn’t reading it, in fact, it was on the coffee table in front of me. I didn’t even pick it up. It was just sitting there in front of me, taunting me with the headline saying ‘Ten ways to be a great Father this Easter’. I sat and thought about how I’d never hear Aiden call me Dad. How every time I’d hear him call Alistair, Dad or Daddy, it would break my heart just that little bit more.
I had given Callie a present, a crib that I carved out myself and that knowledge helped in some small way, in that, I knew Aiden would have some part of me with him while he slept. I continued to stare at the magazine and I heard laughter and footsteps behind me. I looked up casually to see Alistair with a big stupid grin on his face. He came over to me and I stood up to greet him. Even though all I wanted to do was punch the living shit out of him, I had to keep up the pretense of excitement.
“It’s a boy, Mike,” he exclaimed slapping me on the back. “I wanted to call him Alistair junior, but Callie was resolute on naming him Aiden. God only knows why? Anyway, I have a son,” he confirmed.
So, I nodded and faked a smile. No fucking way, was my son going to be called Alistair fucking junior!
“Jeez Mike, you look like shit, didn’t you sleep at all?” he asked.
“No, why did you?” I asked and he laughed.
“Like a baby, just woke up in time to cut the cord,” he said infuriating me.
Oh, for God’s sake, he wasn’t even there to help Callie with her birthing. What the fuck! I couldn’t hate him more than I did at that moment.
“How are they?” I asked, wanting to know every detail.
“Who?” Alistair said and I rolled my eyes.
“Callie and Aiden,” I said, sounding more annoyed than I meant to.
“Oh, right, yeah, good, I suppose. Aiden’s a healthy seven pound two ounces. He’s going to be a big lad just like his, Father,” he explained making me cringe.
“And Callie?” I asked and he shrugged.
“She wouldn’t stop moaning and complaining. Mike you did the right thing staying single. Women are no more than just a convenience. Good for lovin’ and making kids that’ll take over the family business,” he said and I had to look away from him or else I was seriously goin
g to pound his face in.
“Can I see them?” I asked through gritted teeth.
He shrugged and pulled out a cigar putting it his mouth and lighting. The smell instantly making me want to vomit again.
“Do what you want; she’s sleeping, but the kid’s in the crib so you can see him if you like. He’s pretty cute. Must be good genes I suppose,” he said and I nodded and walked toward the doors.
I was so angry with Alistair; I couldn’t believe his attitude toward the whole thing. Why Callie married him I’ll never understand? I opened the doors and walked to the reception desk.
“Hi, I’m here to see Callie O’Connell,” I explained to the nurse, she smiled and nodded walking me toward her room. My heart was pounding in my chest and my palms were sweaty. I was nervous because I had no idea what to expect.
“She had a rough labor so she still might be a little groggy,” the nurse said and pointed toward room seven. I nodded and walked to the door. I looked in and Callie was asleep and she looked terrible, beautiful but terrible. She was pale and her hair was a mess. My heart broke that she went through the entire labor alone. I walked in further and movement caught my eye. I looked next to her bed and saw the crib. I smiled and walked over to see Aiden wrapped up and slowly waking up. He had one arm out of his tight wrap so I put my hand down and he grabbed hold of my finger. I let out a quiet sob and soaked him in. My son, my Aiden. My eyes filled with tears and it overwhelmed me the surge of love I felt toward him.
“You can hold him if you want to,” Callie said startling me. I swallowed a lump in my throat and with my free hand, I caressed her cheek. She smiled at me and raised her hand to hold mine.