“I do apologize, I didn’t mean anything by it, sir.”
“Think nothing of it,” I said, crossing my arms as the police car holding Catherine drove away.
I looked toward the front door where, an obviously shaken up, Adeline was standing. I motioned for her to come over.
“Yes, Officer?”
“Ms. Chevallier.”
“Please, call me Adeline.”
“Adeline,” he said, jotting down her name in his small black notepad.
“What happened tonight?”
“She just came in and tried to attack me. If Cole wasn’t here, I don’t know what would have happened.”
He finished jotting down his notes, and then looked up from his pad. “Okay, I think we have everything. If there’s anything else, I’ll be in touch. Here’s my card if you can think of anything else, or if she bothers you again once she’s released.”
“Wait…she is gonna be released tonight?” Adeline asked anxiously.
“Oh no, ma’am, not tonight…but eventually.”
I laid my arm across her shoulders and pulled her close. “Thank you, Officer,” I said, shaking his hand, and then guided Adeline back into the house.
“Why did you stop me from asking him questions?” she asked as I closed the door behind us.
“He doesn’t know what’s going to happen with her, but I could feel your anxiety.” He stood in front of me. “I want you to know I’m going to protect you to my dying breath. It’s what Ezra would have wanted.”
I exhaled.
“What is it?” I asked.
“That is like the fiftieth time I’ve heard Ezra’s name today. Every time I feel like I am starting to feel better, I hear his name, I see a sweater, I dream about him. When is it gonna end?”
“You do know this just happened?”
“I just want to feel normal. I don’t want to fall asleep crying on the floor. I don’t want to end my night giving statements to police officers. I don’t want to go to any more funerals.”
I looked into her eyes, my vision began to blur as tears began to well in mine. I clasped my hand to the nape of her neck and pulled her close, burying her face in my chest. She wrapped her arms around my waist and began to sob.
“I just miss him so much,” she said with a cracked voice.
“I know, darlin’, I miss him too. I miss him too.”
We stood there for a while until I felt that her tears had subsided. I looked down at her, pulling her chin up.
“Do you want to finish dinner, or go to bed?” I asked.
“Bed.”
I nodded, then walked her to her room. I helped her into bed and covered her with the down comforter at the foot of her bed.
“Sweet dreams,” I said.
I think she was asleep by the time her head touched the pillow. I shifted her hair from the side of her face, resting my hand on her shoulder for a moment, and then leaned over to kiss her on the top of her head. I crept out slowly, shutting the door behind me.
I headed for the kitchen to clean up the mess from the struggle, sighing when I saw the broken plates and glasses, the chicken strewn all over the floor, and a broken chair off to one side of the room.
“What a fuckin’ crazy bitch,” I said, shaking my head.
ADELINE
I slept well that night, and for the next couple months, in fact. Ezra hadn’t made any appearances in my dreams, and I really felt like I was ready to jump back into life. I missed the simple things, like going shopping at Stella’s thrift store, enjoying a quiet walk on the beach, or watching the waning sun at Sunset Cliffs.
Cole had been in and out on missions to places he wasn’t allowed to mention because of OPSEC, but I waited with bated breath every time he walked out of the door, and breathed a sigh of relief every time he came home. I don’t think I could have survived another loss, especially if it were him. I enjoyed his company when he was home…he made me laugh, and he made me feel safe from Catherine, who still called him almost daily, and made random appearances at the diner. There would be times I would catch a glimpse of her as I drove off to work in the morning, standing at the end of our street. I would call Cole, who would come to the diner, but she would always leave before he ever got there. I was starting to feel like I was crazy and maybe she wasn’t really there, but he assured me that Catherine was the crazy one.
Even the girls at work were starting to wonder about Cole and I, but I always let them know we were just friends. But I guess looking in, anyone who didn’t know our story would assume we were already a happily married couple.
There were moments, however fleeting, usually induced by a slight graze as we passed one another in the tight hallway, or during a prolonged hug after a deployment; where I wanted to take our relationship to the next level.
Unfortunately, those moments were few and far between since I had a habit of restraining my desires. I feared anything more would disrespect Ezra’s memory and ruin the bond we had built.
However, in the last few weeks, our flirting had become more frequent and overt. About a week before, after our usual Wednesday night movie, I was awakened by the flickering television, and found myself nestled tightly in his arms, which brought a smile to my face.
INVITATIONS
I was coming home from an extremely busy day at the diner when I caught sight of the mailman dropping two envelopes into the mailbox.
Sigh.
I despised checking the mail, since I only received one of two things…past due credit card bills, or cards sending their condolences for Ezra. After the crappy day I just had, the last thing I wanted to do was open the mail without at least two glasses of wine coursing through my bloodstream, and maybe a third as backup. I reached into the mailbox and pulled out the envelopes. Dropping everything on the coffee table as I walked into the house, I changed into some comfortable boy shorts and a camisole, then plopped down on the couch to watch some television, and before I knew it, I had dozed off.
A few hours later…
Thud.
I took a header off the couch, startled from my nap by the loud jiggling coming from the door, accompanied by the creaking sound it made as it opened. It was Cole coming home from work. He dropped his bags and keys onto the living room floor as he headed to the washing machine, just like he did every day after work. As he walked back across the living room, he paused mid-step after catching a glimpse of me picking myself up from the floor.
“Hey, what are you doing on the floor?”
“I must’ve fallen asleep after having another crap-tastic day at work.”
“On the floor? You know we have beds for that sort of thing. There’s actually one right up the stairs, if you’d like,” he said jokingly, pointing to his bedroom.
I chuckled at his innuendo.
“I’m starving, what’s for dinner?” he asked.
“Ummm…I can whip you up a peanut butter and jelly sandwich, and even toast the bread, ’cause you’re so very special.”
“Pizza it is then,” he said, spinning around to head back to his work bag to grab his cell phone. “Pepperoni n’ extra cheese?”
“You always know how I like it,” I said, smiling coyly as I walked past him, raking my slender fingers across his hard stomach.
Cole looked up from searching through his phone contacts.
“I actually don’t know how you like it. But I’d love to learn, if you’d let me.”
I chuckled as I grabbed a bottle of wine and two glasses from the kitchen and sat on the couch.
“Uh, hello? Yes, I’d like delivery, please,” he said to the person on the other line as he sat down on the couch, shuffling through the unopened piles of mail. Rattling off his credit card number to the person on the other end, he came across the envelopes I had thrown atop the coffee table.
A few minutes after hanging up with the pizza place, he waved the envelopes in the air and asked, “Hey, what’s this?”
“I dunno. They came in the mail t
oday,” I said, pouring the wine into both glasses.
“Well, one is addressed to Ezra,” he said, handing me that envelope.
We both opened them at the same time, and took a minute or two to read the letters. It was the invitation to the Military Ball. My heart sank. Ezra had promised to take me this year.
COLE
I looked at her after reading the invitation and I knew, just by the hurt look on her face. The moment was awkward…tense even. I could have said a million things, or nothing at all, and it probably wouldn’t have made a bit of difference. Shifting my gaze back toward my invitation, I struggled to weigh my options. Shut my mouth seemed like the best one, but I was never one to make the right choices with women. My lips parted, but before I could say anything, the doorbell rang.
Damn, that pizza was fast!
It felt like I had just ordered it, but I guess I hadn’t been paying attention to my watch at that moment. I stood up, stepping over her outstretched legs to open the door to a short pudgy pizza delivery guy carrying a steaming box of pizza, already holding the credit card slip out with pen in hand.
“That amount does not include the tip, sir.”
“Hey, how much is my half?” Adeline asked from the couch.
I never asked her to go halves on anything. Maybe out of chivalry, or maybe because I knew how little she made as a waitress; in either case, my response was always the same.
“Just get it next time,” I replied from the door.
I grabbed the steamy pizza box and went to the kitchen to stack some slices onto a plate, while I thought about how I was going to proceed with this conversation. I knew Ezra had promised to take her this year, and I wanted to fulfill that promise, but my fear was that after all these months of spending time with her, I wouldn’t be fulfilling the promise out of loyalty, but out of my own selfish desires.
What kind of asshole falls for his brother’s fiancé?
I could never compare to Ezra anyway. He was perfect for her, and she still loved him so much, but there were instances that gave me hope; be it in a glance from across the room, or the way she would hug me before I left for a deployment. She had grown to mean more to me in these few months than anyone else in my life, and I would be lost without her.
I decided to push the feelings deep down inside, to a place where I could shut the door and lock them away, not wanting to press the issue in fear of rejection, or worse―losing her as a friend.
I walked back into the living room where she was already finishing her first glass of wine, and pouring a second.
“That bad, huh?” I asked.
She chuckled. “Damn military ball. Who wants to go to one of those, anyway?” she asked, taking another gulp of wine.
I knew she wanted to go, so I took the leap and threw it out there. “I do. We should go together,” I said, slapping my hand on her inner thigh.
We both paused because my hand slipped too far in between her legs. Time seemed to stop as I felt the warmth emanating from between them. My gaze slowly traced an imaginary line from my hand, around the curve of her hip, and up the length of her arm until my eyes reached her soft face.
My gaze pored over her smooth skin while I tried valiantly to restrain myself from leaning in to kiss her. These were the moments that the feelings I tried to lock away would threaten to explode from their box and saturate my head with the possibility of love.
She looked down at my hand.
“Cole…” she said, “…if I didn’t know any better, I would think you were trying to take advantage of me after this fine glass of wine.”
“I would never,” I said innocently with a sly smirk on my face. “Not a lady such as yourself.”
We both laughed as we toasted to some obscurity.
“Did you want to eat some pizza to soak up some of that alcohol?” I asked, watching her down the second glass.
“No, I think I just need to get a glass of water,” she said, trying to stand but wobbling a little, so I slid my arm under hers and helped her to her feet.
“Do you want me to take you to your room to sleep it off?” I asked.
“No, the kitchen. I just need some water.”
“All right. Here…it’s easier if I just carry you,” I said, lifting her up and cradling her in my arms.
“And who says chivalry is dead?” she asked jokingly, her eyes heavy from the wine as she rested her head on my shoulder for the brief walk to the kitchen.
“Man, you sure can’t hold your liquor,” I joked, setting her down.
“Well, in my defense, I haven’t eaten anything,” she said, grabbing a bottle of water out of the fridge.
“So, you didn’t answer me,” I said.
“What?”
“The ball…do you wanna go with me?”
“The ball…” her words trailed as she spun around from the fridge and lost her bearings.
With quick reflexes, I grabbed her wrist midair and twirled her around so her back was against my stomach, her ass pressed into my groin.
Holding her captive in a tight bear hug, I breathed into her ear and asked, “So, the ball…would you be my date?”
“A date?” she asked, struggling against my grip.
I laughed as she struggled to get free. She lifted her hand above my head and placed her palm on the back of my neck, slightly massaging it as she jostled less and less.
Her movement excited me, imagining how our bodies must look intertwined, standing in the middle of the kitchen. I instinctively closed my eyes and leaned in to inhale the scent from her neck. She did not oppose me, tilting her head to one side, welcoming my advance as she tightened her grip on the back of my neck.
I couldn’t believe what was happening and had to ask myself if it was even real. I bent down to kiss her velvety neck.
She bumped her ass into my groin, catching me off guard, which loosened my grip. She spun around and playfully slapped me on the shoulder and laughed. “You’re so easy, Cole.”
The sensation from the slap sent endorphins coursing through my entire body. I felt like a caged animal pacing after his prey. My flesh began to throb as I scanned her tight figure, clad only in a miniscule pair of boy shorts, and an almost see through midriff camisole with no bra underneath.
“You might wanna stop playing with me like that, little girl.”
“Do I?”
The tone in her voice stopped me in my tracks, and as I looked toward her, the glance we exchanged was electrifying. In those moments, I knew what we felt for each other was something more than just a platonic relationship. In another world, if Ezra hadn’t been my best friend, and she wasn’t the one person I couldn't bear to lose in case a relationship didn’t work out; she would be the perfect woman for me.
She slapped her palms onto my cheeks, positioning her face an inch from mine and said, “Okay, I will let you take me to the ball, but not as a date. We can’t forget about Ezra.”
She walked toward her bedroom, swaying her hips back and forth, leaving me in the kitchen to observe her, admiring how the sunshine, beaming through the kitchen window, cascaded off the slender arch of her back.
Damn that woman!
These moments with her were a double-edged sword for me. I loved the physical contact, but no longer wanted these moments to be friendly and playful as they had been. I wanted so much more, but then Ezra would pop back into my mind.
What should I do, Ezra?
I fantasized about throwing her on the bed, having my way with her, and kissing every inch of skin on her body. Trying to snap myself out of the fog she had just left me in, I headed to the bathroom to hop into a cold shower.
STELLA’S
ADELINE
The next morning, as I was getting ready to leave for work, I saw the invitation pinned to the message board that hung next to the front door.
Cole had written:
Don’t forget to buy a dress for the ball, Cinderella.
I smiled, excited to have something to look fo
rward to. I made my way to the car, pulling my phone from my fake Louis Vuitton speedy bag, sending a text to Stella.
Me: Hey girl, I need a dress for the military ball.
Stella: Oh really…who are you going with?
Me: Cole.
Stella: Whaaaaaat?!?!?! You are gonna have to tell me all about it.
Me: Is it wrong to go with him?
Stella: Wrong??? That fine ass man? NO!
Me: Okay, I’m gonna call in sick to work and come straight over. I need to talk to someone about all of this.
Stella: Yes girl. Get over here.
Stella always kept the good brand named stuff behind the counter, and I knew she would have something amazing for me.
Anxiety swept over me as I hopped into my car. What would Ezra think about me going to the ball with Cole? I’m sure he would know Cole was doing it out of duty. But what if Cole wasn’t doing it out of duty? What if I didn’t want him to take me out of duty? I shook my head as I pulled away from the curb.
A short drive later, and a walk from a parking space two blocks away, I was standing in front of Stella’s store. She had a neon sign that read: ‘STELLA’S’ but the “ST” no longer lit up, so from afar, it ended up reading as “ELLA’S.” It always made me chuckle whenever I saw it.
I couldn’t wait to walk inside. I was excited and always felt like a kid in a candy store whenever I shopped here. I walked in and was bombarded with a veritable wonderland of exotic furs, silk scarves, spiked high heeled pumps, naughty lingerie, and high-end clothes and handbags. Stella had one simple rule when it came to picking out items to stock in her store; if she would wear it, it was on a rack for sale.
As I walked through the door, Stella shrieked and rushed over from behind the counter to give me a hug. She was a beautifully slender 32-year-old black woman with whom I had been friends for as long as I had known Ezra. She was the first wife I was introduced to, and we hit it off right away.
Absolution (Mr. Black Series) Page 4