by R. Holmes
"Don't be so dramatic, I can totally survive on Vienna's and..." She trails off giggling.
"Wait, was that a dick joke, Freya Anderson?" I ask.
Her grin is wide and teasing, and fuck if I don't fall for her a little bit more. Only she would make a joke about my dick and a can of Vienna sausages.
I drop one last kiss to her shoulder, and pick up my scattered sweats, pulling them and my shirt on quickly. I need to get back to the inn and check in on everything, even if I would rather stay here for another month undisturbed. Real life doesn't stop when you need to cherish the moment, if anything those moments pass fleetingly without giving you time to stop and grab ahold of them.
"Be back in a few, going to go check on your car."
I leave her laying naked in bed and bundle up in my coat to go out into the frigid winter air. Fuck, it's cold out here. Even with the sun beaming down, it's still enough to freeze you to the bone. I walk over to my truck and see the tires aren't very deep in the snow thanks to parking under the big tree covering the driveway. Four wheel drive should be able to get me out easily to the freshly plowed road. Once inside, I turn the heat on full blast, and put it in drive, surprised when I'm able to pull out with no trouble.
Small victories.
I drive up the road where I found Freya and her Mercedes last night, and it's now covered completely in snow, but looks a lot less stuck than it did in the muddy snow yesterday. Putting my truck in park, I hope out and get to work trying to get it out of the hole she dug with her tires by constantly gassing it. That girl. She needs someone to teach her what to do when weather like this hits.
I could be the one to take care of Freya.
Less than ten minutes later, I've got her car unstuck and some of the snow shoveled away, to where she can easily get back on the road into town. When I make it back to the cabin, she's cuddled up next to the fire I started before I left, wrapped in the blanket from the bed. Much to my distaste, she's dressed, ready to head back home and a knot forms in my stomach.
I'm worried what the reality of our situation will do to what Freya and I have only just begun.
"Hey, I got your car unstuck. All ready to go." I hand over the keys before sitting down beside her.
My hands are completely numb from the cold so I rub them together and put them just in front of the fire to thaw them. Freya leans her head on my shoulder, sighing. The fire cackles in front of us, and I watch the flames as they lick and dance together.
"We gotta head back, babe," I tell her softly and I feel her nod against my arm. Standing, I help her from her spot on the floor and I put the fire out, making sure to leave everything as when we walked in the door.
"Are you going to meet with the real estate agent and sign for the cabin?" I ask her.
"I think so. It’s perfect. I’m going to put an offer in.”
"I like it. It fits you and it's not too far from town or me." I grin slyly.
We walk hand in hand to the truck and I open the door for her, giving her a boost up into the seat. At five foot damn nothing, she's like a tiny little pixie.
The ride back to her car is a comfortable, quiet silence. Even though there is something in the air that I can't place. I know neither of us regret what happened, we're just both determined to hold onto what it is before it's ripped away. Life has a way of doing that to you even when you see it coming.
Freya and I both have so much shit that we have to work through, it's hard to picture this working for anything other than casual, but when I look at Freya, nothing about her or the way that I feel about her is casual. Anything but. I never expected it, but damn, it's here to stay. I feel it in my bones.
Standing by her car, as it's heating up, we say goodbye begrudgingly. I place my hands on her face, framing her beauty close enough for me to kiss her chilled cheeks, her lush lips, her forehead. I take my time giving her a proper goodbye as if I don't know when the next time we'll have a moment like this.
"I’ll see you later neighbor.” She gives me a sultry wink, “Thank you for last night, and everything." She turns to her car, getting inside and pulling onto the road.
Just like that, she's gone.
When I finally pull back up at the inn, Gramps is in the front, shoveling snow off the walkway.
"Gramps, what are you doing?" I ask him, taking the shovel from his frigid grip. "It's freezing out here, you should be inside resting."
"Oh boy, hush, I've been doing this longer than you've been alive," he grumbles.
"Yeah, and I'm trying to keep you around for just as long, so go on, I'll get this done," I tell him as I begin to shovel the snow.
"Grams told me you were snowed in with that pretty little thing from next door." He grins. "That so?"
"Well, unless Grams is lyin', then yep, that's what happened. I was on the way home when I saw her on the side of the road up by Canyon Road, she was stuck in the snow. It was coming down so hard, I knew we better take cover before we froze to death. Good thing she was on her way to look at a cabin for sale, or we would have."
"Mhmmmmm," Gramps says, dragging out the word.
"Gramps, you got something to say?" I ask. I lean against the shovel and wait for his response, which he laughs at.
"Not saying anything, Finn, just that you been doing a lot of pushing that girl away, and now it seems like you're learning from that mistake."
I mull over what he's saying, and realize he's right.
I've spent so much time pushing Freya away, I haven't given her a chance and that isn't fair of me. I'm sure she didn't pick our Inn to try and purposefully undermine us. She's got a pure heart, and I see that now. I've seen the way that she is with Grams and Gramps both, and she'd never do anything to hurt them. I’m the fool for wasting so much time hating someone who never deserved it.
"Maybe so," I grunt, not ready to admit out loud that I was wrong.
"Love like that Finn? It only comes around once. The ones who steal your heart whenever you had it caged in so good and tight, and you never even saw it coming. Like a thief in the night," Gramps says.
"Jeez Gramps, a little premature, don't ya think?" I tell him exasperatedly.
"I know what I see boy. I'm old. I've got those eyes that see the stuff that sits beneath the surface. And it's not all about what I see, it's about what I feel."
"If you say so. I like her Gramps, but life... It's complicated and our worlds just don't fit together. We'd have to fight everyday just to be together. But, how she makes me feel is nothing like I ever saw coming," I tell him truthfully, even if it was hard to say.
"Then it's worth fighting for Finn."
Maybe he's right. Maybe my Gramps knows exactly what he's talking about when it comes to love. After all, he's got Grams.
“Finn! Finn!” A far away voice jostles me from sleep, and I don’t want to open my eyes and end the delicious dream I was just having.
“Wake up Finn!” Grams’ voice cuts through the hazy fog of sleep and causes me to sit up abruptly in bed. It takes a few seconds for the sleep-induced fog to wear off and for me to get my bearings.
My room is dark except from the light streaming in from the hallway light, where Grams is standing over me shaking me. Her eyes are filled with tears, and she looks terrified. That wakes me up and panic sets in.
“Grams? What’s going on?” I throw the covers off and swing my feet out the bed, standing in front of her.
Her bottom lip trembles when she says, “Finn, its Gramps. He collapsed when he got up to go to the bathroom...” Her voice breaks as she sobs. “The ambulance, they’re here.”
My heart sinks, my gut clenches, and I feel the world fall out beneath me.
I leave Grams sitting on my bed and sprint into their room where there are two EMS standing over Gramps on the stretcher, connecting wires to his chest. He looks so feeble and small right now and I’ve never seen him like this before. It steals the breath right out of my lungs. I'm momentarily frozen in fear, and panic seizes me inside
like a vice.
"Gramps," I say to him, not even sure if he can hear me right now. But I have to say it. I have to let him know that I won't leave his side. "I'm here, everything is going to be okay. I'll be right here."
"We need to get going, one of you can ride with him to the hospital."
I nod and walk back to my room where Grams is still sitting on my bed, tears wetting her cheeks, clutching her heart.
"I...I don't know what I'll do if I lose him Finn." She sobs as I take her into my arms. Her entire body shakes with her sobs and I feel helpless, like I have so many times in the past few months. I can't fix this, even if I wanted to with all of my heart. It’s up to the doctors to save Gramps.
"Mrs. Mayberry? Finn?" The gray haired doctor, Dr. Foster, walks through the waiting room doors, greeting Grams and I. He shakes my hand and touches Grams lightly on the arm.
"How is he, doc?" I ask.
"Well, son, he's not doing great. His heart is weak, and this has been a long time coming. It's why his doctor said to take it easy and not overdo it. We’re still running some tests, but he has suffered a heart attack. Now, we are doing everything we can to make sure Mr. Mayberry walks out of here as healthy as he can be. With those tests, like I suspect, we will be able to determine how bad the blockage has gotten. Best case scenario, we start him on various medications, change his diet up and hopefully he'll make a full recovery. Worst case, he'll need open heart surgery."
Grams inhales sharply and begins crying into my chest as I pull her against me.
"It's okay Grams, he's going to be okay."
Dr. Foster smiles sympathetically, "He's in the best hands Mrs. Mayberry, I assure you. We will know more once the tests come back. For now, you can both sit with him, but please let him rest. He needs time to let his body heal and do what it's made to do. If you have any questions, I'll be back around in the next few hours. Try not to worry."
Right. Like that's easy to do.
"Thank you."
I extend my hand for him to shake once more and he's gone as quick as he appeared. Grams leaves me in the waiting room to go sit with Gramps. I have to call Freya and tell her what's going on. I pull my phone out of my jeans and dial her number.
A few short rings and she answers, "Hello?"
"Hey, Princess."
“You’re up early. Your voice sounds funny. You okay?”
“I’m at the hospital.”
“What? What happened? Is it Grams?" She asks so many questions in rapid fire, she sucks in a sharp breath of air once she's done.
"Gramps had a heart attack Freya. He's... He's not doing very good," I whisper into the phone. The hard exterior of my resolve threatens to crumble at my feet any second.
"I'm on my way. I'll be there as soon as I can," she says.
"Okay please be careful. His room number is three fifty six."
We say quick goodbyes and I walk to Gramps’ room to sit with Grams until Freya arrives. There are so many emotions I feel right now but my fear of losing Gramps trumps it all. He's been the only father I've had since I was five years old.
I'm holding back tears when there's a soft knock at the door and seconds later, Freya appears. She's wearing mismatched clothes and her hair is piled on the top of her head without a lick of makeup on. She runs over to me and I catch her in the tightest hug we can manage. I need to feel her warmth, her goodness if I'm going to make it through this. Until now I never realized just how much I had grown accustomed to having Freya with me. How deep she had woven herself within my family. Woven herself into our hearts.
“Oh, Freya, thank you so much for being here for us and for Gramps.” Grams pulls her into a hug. They hold each other for a few minutes before Grams pulls back and looks at her. “You are a blessing to our family, sweet girl, I hope you do know that.”
Tears well in her eyes while she nods.
"There's nowhere else I'd rather be Grams."
We spend the next few minutes together in comfortable silence as the steady rhythm of the machines that are connected to Gramps surround us. He looks peaceful, and my only hope is that he feels no pain and soon he'll be awake, with us. I feel like I have so much to tell him. That I love him, and that I appreciate him. Thank him for everything he has done for me, everything that he has sacrificed. I need more time. I need my Gramps to wake up and be with us for the next twenty years, so I can cherish every single second I have with him. I'll never take time for granted again, not after this.
"Grams, I'm going to walk outside with Freya and talk for a few minutes. Would you like me to get you a cup of coffee from the vending area?" I ask her quietly.
"That would be lovely, thank you darling boy."
We exit the room into the bright, fluorescent lit hallway. It's calm, being so early in the morning. Only a few nurses and techs in the hallway and a few patrons visiting their families. This is the ICU therefore there can only be three people inside the room at once.
"Finn... I'm so sorry. I know Gramps is going to be okay, he has to be." Her voice breaks as tears begin to fall. "I was trying to keep this inside, I didn't want to make things worse for Grams by crying, but I am just so worried about him."
I pull her into my arms and tighten them around her while she sobs quietly into my shirt. I feel my own tears well in my eyes, but I have to be strong for my girl and my Grams. I can't be the one to break down, not when they need me most.
Freya looks up at me through tear-filled eyes, sniffling, but presses her lips against mine gently.
"I'm going to go over to the inn, and make sure everything is okay there. Make sure Bell and Saint are good. Is that okay? I just don't want Grams to have to worry about anything."
This girl.
"That would be amazing. I appreciate you, babe. I don't want to leave Grams here by herself, but I have been worried that everything will go to shit if I don't check in."
"I doubt it. Everyone at the inn is great at what they do. I'll just go check in and see if anyone needs any help."
"Thank you. I don't know what I'd do without you, Princess." I give her a wry grin.
She reaches up to cup my face. "Don't worry about it."
I give her a sweet, soft kiss before she leaves me in the hallway and disappears through the double doors at the end. The next few days will be hard. We will find out just how extensive the damage to Gramps heart is.
Grams is still sitting close to Gramps with his hand clasped tightly in hers when I walk back into his room.
“Finn, come sit with me for a minute. I have something I want to talk with you about.” She pats the seat next to her on the small loveseat.
When I’m seated next to her she removes her hand from Gramps and takes my hand in her own.
“Your Gramps is really sick Finn. It feels like we just had this same conversation not too long ago. But this time, it’s a lot more serious. This isn’t easy for your Gramps, bless his heart. He’s worked so hard for the inn to be prosperous. Given so much and sacrificed so many things for our family. It’s time for Gramps and I to step down. And I mean really step down. Gramps needs to spend his time relaxing and not working, even if he’ll hate to do it. I’d rather have him around than kill himself trying to do things at the inn. Finn, we want you to take over the Mayberry.” She pauses, gauging my reaction.
Even though I’m surprised, part of me knew, and hoped this was coming. The inn was always meant to stay in our family. I squeeze her hand tightly in mine.
“Grams, that's… I don’t even know what to say.” I tell her honestly. I’m overcome by emotion.
“Say that you will Finn. It’d be the greatest honour as your grandparents to give the inn to you. I know that you’ll handle it with care. Finn you are a good man. You are kind, compassionate, caring…albeit stubborn like your old Gramps.” She laughs and wipes a free fallen tear from her eyes. “There is no one better than you to have the Mayberry.”
I nod, my own sneaky tears falling from my eyes.
“Of
course I’ll do it Grams. I’d do anything for you both.”
She brings her hand to my face in a soft caress. “We’ll still be here of course, the inn is our home, but from here on out it’s yours Finn. Let it teach you the way that it has your Gramps and I.”
The Mayberry is mine. After everything, now…it’s mine.
I’ll make them proud.
I’ll show everyone that the Mayberry is here to stay.
The thought of losing Gramps terrifies me. It sends bouts of icy dread through my veins.
But Finn needs me right now. I have to be strong.
After I left the hospital with tears leaking from my eyes, I took care of things at the inn. I know how important it is to Finn and his family, so I put my all into doing anything I can to help them. I only stopped long enough to change into simple jeans with an oversized sweater and wrangle my hair into a smoother bun than the crazed state of it when I ran out the door in a panic to get to the hospital. To get to Finn.
When I ventured out to Saint Nick’s stall to feed him, I spent an extra few minutes hugging the sweet donkey, taking comfort in his soft muzzle. Those soulful eyes seemed to sense that something was wrong when it was me instead of Gramps or Finn out in the morning chill, looking past my shoulder every few minutes to search for Gramps. The sounds he made as I headed back up the path to the inn sent icy daggers into my heart as he called out.
I might not be anywhere close to Grams’ cooking skills, but luckily the Mayberry Inn’s cook, Bell, had it under control. The most she let me do was brew coffee, but was grateful for my company. This scare has rattled everyone who knows Gramps Mayberry. Working together—well, mostly Bell handling things, but with enough coffee brewed by me to keep us going all day—we got breakfast on the table for the few guests currently staying, then I manned the front desk with their bellhop in case there were new bookings.
Once Finn walked through the door a few hours later, my chest caved in. He looked drained with dark circles smudged beneath his eyes. We shared a sombre look and without either of us saying anything, we came together in a tight embrace to rival the way we held each other at the hospital. His shoulders shook with a slight tremor that made me squeeze him harder, trying to absorb his pain, to take it away and make it better. We worked side by side, me manning the desk and phones, and Finn going through the inn’s financial reports with a bleak expression lining his face.