by Luxie Ryder
I peeked between my fingers, sure that the trick could not have gone so badly wrong but equally as sure that nobody would terrify and traumatize people this way in the name of entertainment. I looked to Nathan’s assistants for some clue as to whether what had just happened was part of the plan, but they seemed just as confused and shocked as the rest of us. At that moment, I wanted to cry.
Don’t be scared. I’m okay. I thought you trusted me?
I span around, looking behind me for the source of the voice. A few members of the audience followed my movement, maybe believing that because I knew Nathan personally, I had some idea of what the hell was going on. I turned back to the stage and my gaze was drawn to one of Nathan’s assistants.
He stared back at me but I couldn’t tell if it was him who had spoken or not. Too far away to see his eyes clearly through the black leather encasing the top half of his face, I had no idea why he was staring at me so intently. The corner of his mouth hitched up into the smile I knew all too well and a wave of relief so intense flooded into my limbs that I thought I might drop to the boards. A moment later Nathan stepped forward and ripped his half mask off with a flourish, revealing himself to the audience.
Upbeat rock music spilled into the theatre again, conveniently covering the sound of swearing from various members of the audience. I had to bite my tongue in order to stop myself telling him exactly what I thought of him scaring the crap out of me. But my shock gave way to wry humor, and then absolute amazement at the enormity of the feat he had just performed. The audience forgave him about the same time I did and exploded into rapturous applause.
Nathan gestured for me to join him in the center of the stage. A few expletives I was sorely tempted to hurl at him died on my lips when he smiled and held his hand out to me. I reached his side and he raised my fingers to his mouth to brush a kiss across my knuckles.
“Forgive me?”
“It’s gonna take more than that, Nathan Cain.”
His eyelids narrowed slightly as his gaze dropped to my lips. “I know that, Jess.”
Nathan tugged me forward and gestured to the audience that they should applaud me as well as him. I laughed and tore my hand from his, elbowing him in the ribs to get him to stop making a fuss of me in front of all those people. He gestured to someone behind me and leaned in to plant a kiss on my cheek, whispering that I should go with his assistant and wait backstage until the show ended.
I snuck back to watch the rest of the show from the wings, too hyped up to simply sit alone in the room I’d been taken to. The stunts, no matter how visually disturbing, didn’t scare me anymore. Nathan turned my way often, sending me the occasional smile, his stare loaded with intensity and a promise of something more to come.
It was only a little later, when I replayed the earlier illusion in my head and laughed at how afraid I had been, that I realized there was no way I should have been able to hear him. The second the thought lodged in my brain, another, far more significant one shoved it out of the way. A heavy sensation settled in the pit of my stomach and I couldn’t breathe.
I really had heard Nathan’s voice in Seattle.
****
I watched him navigate his way towards me through the after-show party Nathan had insisted I attend, his gaze fixed on me but his path blocked often by people wanting to speak to him. The gaudy stage outfit had gone, replaced by jeans and a v-neck black t-shirt that enhanced everything it covered.
Nirvana played in the background and I wondered again if he’d chosen the music intentionally. Back in school, after months of sitting beside him in class without a single word passing between us, we’d seen each other unexpectedly at a Nirvana concert. I’d talked my older sister into letting me go with her and Nathan had somehow materialized in the crowd beside me. He’d acknowledged my presence with no more than a self-conscious nod before turning back to the stage to join me in worship of Cobain. Our shared love of the man we both considered to be the second coming of Christ, turned our previously awkward relationship into a friendship from that moment on - and a shared grief over Kurt’s tragic and untimely death sealed our bond. But within months, Nathan had moved away, without so much as a hint that he shared the feelings I had for him.
The drink I’d been nursing since the party suddenly tasted sour on my tongue and I put it to one side. I needed to stay sober and focused. If I didn’t get the answers I wanted, or if Nathan simply thought I was crazy and ran for the hills, I’d have plenty of time - and reason - to drink later.
Those eyes of his held me in his spell as he drew nearer and the room faded away again. Finally he was close enough to touch and it seemed so natural to lace my fingers through his when he offered me his hand. The older woman demanding his attention seemed oblivious somehow to the sensual heat radiating between Nathan and me and I wanted to plead with her to go away so I could have him to myself. As the thought crossed my mind, his thumb tucked inside our clasped hands and brushed across my palm. I might have moaned aloud, I can’t swear I didn’t. All I know is that I had to bite down on my lip when his touch sent an aching ripple through my body down to my groin and a sudden moist heat made my panties cling to my flesh. He turned to me and smiled and I almost believed he knew what he’d done. His gaze locked with mine and the ache intensified, throbbing and pulsing in time with my heartbeat. I suddenly became aware that the woman had moved away. Maybe I had groaned out loud. But I didn’t really care.
“Did you enjoy the show?”
The sound of his wonderful voice broke through my trance and my gaze darted down to watch his lips forming around the words. When I looked up again, he was staring at my mouth the way I had his. I smiled and his eyelids closed a little more as he sucked in a harsh breath.
“Eventually. Once I knew you weren’t dead inside that horrible contraption.”
Nathan took a step closer, backing me into a corner and I had to tilt my head to look into his face. His breath caressed my forehead, cool against my heated flesh. His lips were so temptingly close that all I had to do to take the taste I’d craved for fifteen years was raise up on tip-toe and press my mouth to his. But I didn’t move, couldn’t in fact. The rejected teenager residing in a tiny corner of my brain just wasn’t brave enough to make the first move without being certain that the boy, who hadn’t wanted her, was now a man who truly did.
That didn’t stop my thoughts going exactly where they pleased though. I saw myself trailing my hands up his arms and over his shoulders, until they met his glorious dark hair, and I buried my fingers in the shiny strands and dragged his head down to meet mine.
Nathan laughed - a dark, rich sound that I could almost feel. “I can’t kiss you, Jess. Not here. Once I start, I won’t want to stop.”
His words doused my lust a little, but not much. Just enough to shake me out of my stupor. Either he was reading my mind or I was being way too obvious. I took a breath to clear my head and gently pushed him away as I let go of his hand. Nathan being near had almost wiped the questions from my mind and I’d forgotten that the first and most important thing I had to do was find out what in the hell was going on. I looked into his eyes and it hurt a little to see how nervous he suddenly was.
Nathan spoke before I had the chance. “You know, don’t you?”
“About Seattle? I wasn’t sure until tonight, but yes, I know.”
His expression grew troubled and his handsome brow creased as if he’d just thought of something disturbing. “I’m sorry if I frightened you but I couldn’t just let you die.”
“Hey, don’t apologize. Thank God you did whatever it was you did.” I laughed at how tongue-tied I’d become and Nathan smiled indulgently although the worry didn’t leave his eyes. “At the moment, I don’t really need to know why as much as I need to know how.”
“Isn’t the ‘why’ part enough?”
“It’s a start I guess.”
The warmth crept back into Nathan’s expression and I basked in it again, surprised how much I’d misse
d it. “Wouldn’t you protect someone you cared about if you had the means do to so?”
“Of course I would. It’s my job to protect people, even the ones I don’t know. But Nathan, I have to actually, physically be present in order to do it. Not only were you thousands of miles away, but you somehow defied the laws of physics to stack the deck in my favor. I’m gonna need some help understanding that.”
A sad smile transformed Nathan into the young man I’d once known and I felt a moment of guilt at not simply being grateful that I was still alive thanks to him.
“Therein lays the problem. I can’t tell you why.”
“Can’t or won’t?”
“Can’t because it’s against the rules I live by and won’t because knowing would force you to make choices that you may not be ready for.”
I wanted to throttle him. His grave expression told me he believed every word he’d just said, but the woman and the cop in me would never be satisfied until I got an answer that at least made sense. I moved on to another subject for the time being, one just as important in its own way.
“Half my life ago, I had the biggest crush on you, one you didn’t seem to share, and I haven’t seen you since. It’s a bit of a shock to accidentally meet up with you after all these years and hear you talk about caring for me.” I smiled and ran my hand down his cheek, enjoying the tingle it caused across my palm when it met the soft stubble on his jaw. “If you care for me so much, where have you been all this time?”
Nathan trapped my fingers against his lips and pressed a kiss against them. “There’s so much you don’t understand. So much I can’t tell you.”
I swayed towards him as his mouth worked its magic on my skin and one more time, my need for answers diminished. Nathan dropped my hand and slid his arm around my torso, pulling me closer to him that I’d ever been before. My body leapt for joy and began to show us both how thrilled it was by the latest turn in events, but my pesky brain raised another objection.
“Why am I in Vegas, Nathan?” I whispered, almost afraid to ask it out loud because the answer mattered so much. “Am I here by my own free will?”
“I had no direct influence over your decision to come here.”
“Then why am I here? I can’t believe that some cosmic coincidence brought us together one month after you saved my life.”
His gaze locked with mine again but I got an eerie feeling that he was seeing more than just what was in front of him. “I didn’t say I don’t believe in fate.”
“Fate? Jesus, Nathan. You’re making my head hurt.”
“Then stop trying to analyze everything and just accept it.”
The arm around my waist got a little tighter and his thigh slipped into the gap between mine as he slotted our bodies closer together and slid his free hand up under my hair. The hard ridge of his erection pressed into my abdomen and for the first time I had tangible proof that he truly wanted me. My imagination couldn’t have conjured up anything so impressive.
His face closed in and I held my breath but still his lips did not meet mine. They grazed my cheek as he turned his head and whispered in my ear. “Spend the night with me?”
It took us half an hour to navigate our way out of the party and up to his suite above the casino. Nathan held my hand the whole time and, somehow, my level of arousal never wavered or diminished. The hot pulse beating in my groin seemed to radiate upwards through my body, and I felt the effects in the warm glow of my cheeks and the near painful straining of my nipples against the lace of my bra. Each step I took caused a ripple of pleasure to flash across my skin and I know I gasped a few times when the intensity of my reaction caught me by surprise.
If anyone else but Nathan had spoken to me, I wouldn’t have known it. All of my senses were tuned into him and, as stupid as it may sound, I think he knew. Each time my body sent me an urgent reminder of how much it wanted him; he seemed to answer the call in some way. His fingers would tighten a little around mine or his thumb would brush across my knuckles - and then he would smile as if he knew his actions had just made my pussy tingle and tighten a little more.
Finally, we made it to the door and out into the hallway. Once more, the presence of others stopped me doing what I was dying to. The bellhop gave me a nervous smile and I hoped with the last bit of rational thought I had left that I hadn’t given him a dirty look when he stepped out of the elevator and thwarted my plans to take advantage of the privacy it would have afforded. The young man seemed nervous enough as it was when we stood on opposite sides of the small space, trapping him between us.
Nathan leaned his weight against the glass paneled sides, his fingers curling firmly around the brass rail behind him and I knew from the want glinting in his midnight blue eyes that he wished his hands were on me. The sound of his slightly rapid breathing mesmerized me and I watched the rise and fall of his chest and thrilled at the evidence of just how much he was holding back because we weren’t alone. My gaze wandered lower, to the bulge straining the front of his jeans and I bit my lip as a wave of raw need nearly brought me to my knees. Nathan sucked in a breath but I didn’t dare look at him again for fear I would come without him even so much as kissing me.
The elevator arrived at the Penthouse Suite just as I asked Nathan how many damned floors the hotel actually had. “This many,” he said with a smile and gestured for me to step out ahead of him. “It’s open, go on in.” Nathan slipped the guy a twenty and turned to follow me into the suite.
I backed into the dark room, aware of the cavernous space behind me and a huge picture window spanning the whole length of the suite. The lights from the Strip cast colorful patterns across the ceiling, like an indoor borealis, and I started when Nathan’s fingers stroked the curve of my neck as I tilted my head back to look up at them.
He kicked the door shut with a flick of his heel and curled his hand around the back of my head, dragging me closer. I let my bag slip from my shoulder and placed my palms on Nathan’s chest, unable to resist the urge to touch him. Suddenly nervous, I closed my eyes and let out a shaky breath. Fifteen years of mental foreplay were about to pay off, if only I could remember how to move.
Nathan leaned down to whisper in my ear, his voice tinged with a dark promise that sent another thrill racing through me. “I thought you said you weren’t a wuss?”
Chapter Two
“I don’t know what to do,” I confessed, deciding the moment was too important for bravado or glib responses.
“Oh, yes, you do.” He took a step closer and placed his strong hands on my shoulders, turning me so my back was against the wall. “You know what you want, Jess. Can’t you just reach out and take it?”
I nodded, entranced by his eyes and a little stunned that I could see them so clearly in the shadowy room. Nathan smiled at my response, or maybe it was my inaction that amused him, but for some reason I will be eternally grateful for, he got tired of waiting for me to make a move.
“Jesus, you’re killing me,” he whispered, and slotted his body against mine. His lips nudged at my mouth, gently at first, then becoming more insistent. I gasped when his teeth nipped at my lip and he took the opportunity to slip his tongue inside. One of us groaned, maybe both, but all I knew is I couldn’t get close enough now that the barrier keeping him from me for all those years had finally been kicked aside.
When he pulled away and rested his forehead against mine as his breath blew over me in hard gusts, I realized my hands were tangled in his hair.
“Sorry,” I said, grimacing as I let it slide out of my fingers, hoping I hadn’t pulled any of it out.
“You won’t hurt me. Not unless I want you to.” I didn’t know what he meant by that but I liked the sound of it, as if he was giving me free reign to do whatever I wanted. Not that I knew what I wanted. Everything, all at once, pretty much summed it up.
I settled on sliding the belt from his jeans, my hands fumbling with the ornate and intricate buckle. Nathan waited until I threw it to the floor then took my
arms and raised them above my head to pin them to the wall, holding both of my wrists in one of his large palms, just tight enough that I couldn’t move.
He grinned then shrugged. “I don’t have your self control. I need to see you naked, Jess…now.”
His lips found mine again as his finger hooked inside my blouse and he grazed his knuckles across my collarbone. He tugged on the elastic holding it up and slid the cotton down over my chest, exposing my bra-covered breasts. When he pulled away to watch what his other hand was doing to me, my gaze followed his and my knees almost gave way as I saw the fabric of my strapless bra stretch over my nipples when he hooked a finger between my cleavage and tugged on the garment. Nathan groaned quietly when my breasts broke free of their restraints and the bra joined the rest of the clothing bunched around my waist.
“God, you’re beautiful,” he whispered. His lips touched mine for a fleeting second before he trailed his hot mouth across my cheek, down my neck and over my chest. His hand curled around my ribcage, moving up as if to meet at my breast, and arriving just in time to hold it steady so his warm mouth could close over my aching bud.
My head jerked backwards, banging against the wall, but I wasn’t capable of feeling any pain. If not for Nathan’s strong grip holding me up, I would have fallen to my knees when he licked the warm place between my breasts as he moved across to lavish the same, torturous attention on the other one. I turned my head and found my face pressed against his strong bicep where his arm lay against the wall beside me. I flicked my tongue over his skin, desperate to touch anything I could reach. My teeth nipped the taut flesh and Nathan gasped but didn’t move away.
“People who bite are liable to get bitten back,” he warned with a dark chuckle, his voice muffled against my chest.
I bit him again, harder this time, unbelievably turned on by the thought of his teeth on me. He stood up again to capture my mouth and I groaned when I felt his knuckles grazing against my abdomen as he flicked the button on my jeans. I squirmed at the sound of my zipper giving way, anticipation of what was to come making me hotter and wetter than I already was.