by Katie Kyler
So no, I didn’t want to think of how my mom died. If I ever thought about her, I made sure the memories were the early, fuzzy ones. The ones where she dressed up in the evenings and kissed me and Jamie goodbye before heading out to another society dinner.
“I never told you about how she died,” I said. “I never talk about my mom, and especially how she died, if I can help it. Who told you?”
She looked up at me, as if worried she might’ve taken the conversation too far. But I nodded, just interested in what she had to say. I didn’t mind that she knew. It was easier this way, actually, because it meant I didn’t have to be the one to tell her the details.
“Someone told me at your dad’s party,” she said. “Your dad, actually. He talked to me about her a little.”
“Wow, you got him to talk about her?” Dad talked about my mom even less than I did.
She touched my shoulder, and I immediately felt her comfort and compassion. She was talking to me, and healing me, at the same time. “He actually seemed kind of eager to talk about her. Maybe enough time has passed, that he’s ready to talk.”
“Or maybe you’re just a really great listener.” I pulled her over to my lounge chair. She was still holding her margarita, and a drop sloshed onto her bare stomach. I leaned down to lick it and she giggled. “Mmm,” I said, “sunscreen.”
“If I’m a great listener, it’s because you’re easy to listen to,” she said, settling against my arms.
She squinted against the sunlight that blinked off of the chrome railing. I took of my sunglasses and perched them on her nose. “Thanks,” she murmured. “I bet I look hot in these.”
“You look hot in whatever you’re wearing. And especially in whatever you’re not wearing.”
She laughed. The conversation was reminding me of how we first met and got to know each other. “Remember all those messages we used to exchange on Scintilla?”
She smiled, nuzzling closer to me. “Of course I remember.”
“Now we just text.”
“It’s much easier,” she said. “Actually, I’ve been thinking about that.”
“Yeah?”
“Yeah. It always bugged me how I had to click through email windows to get to my Scintilla messages on my phone. It was easy on the computer because I could just have the site open all the time. Um, not that I did this at work. I was hard at work of course, not waiting for your messages.”
I laughed. “Uh huh.”
Her face, pressed in close to my chest, turned a delicious pink color. I loved when she was just slightly uncomfortable, thrown off her game. Those were usually the moments she was the most open and vulnerable, the moments when I felt like I could be her knight in shining armor.
She continued, “But it got me thinking, Scintilla needs an app. I can’t believe it doesn’t have one, actually.”
I shook my head. “Let’s not go there. Leading some of the software development was supposed to be Jamie’s job, and I’ll just get pissed off that he didn’t get it running, and he never even brought up the idea of an app.”
“You’re right,” she frowned. “Let’s not go there. Not tonight.”
After his apology a couple of weeks ago, Allison and I had talked about Jamie. It sounded to me like she was okay with his apology but she hadn’t wanted to discuss it. She seemed to want to forget everything about him. I didn’t blame her.
“Still,” I said, “an app is a really great idea.”
Chapter 2
Allison
The sun had dropped, and the shadows on the yacht were longer. Joshua and I cuddled on the lounge chair, exchanging kisses, sipping our drinks, and talking about anything and everything. Except Jamie, of course. I scowled. His name shouldn’t even be thought of on this boat, much less spoken.
When the sun was just kissing the horizon, Joshua disappeared into the cabin. Classic rock music, piped through the speakers on the deck, and I tapped my bare foot to an Eric Clapton song. Joshua came back out with a plate of crackers, sliced fruit, and cheese. He was still in his royal blue swim trunks, looking oh so touchable, and a fuzzy blanket was draped over his shoulder. He nodded, gesturing me over to the loveseat that faced the dim skyline of Ocean City. “Best place to watch the fireworks from.”
I moved to grab my cover up, which sat on a chair near the loveseat. Now that the sun was down, the breeze felt chilly.
“No need for that.” He flicked my cover-up out of reach with a smile on his face. “I’ll help keep you warm.”
I laughed and padded over the polished deck to him, swaying my hips to the music in the way I knew he liked. He spread his legs out on the loveseat and patted the space between them.
“Just the right size seat for an Allison ass,” he said, reaching out to grab a handful.
I squealed and dodged backwards, teasing him.
“Look at you,” he said. “You’re beautiful.”
I ducked my head. He always threw these compliments at me, but I was never sure what to do about them.
“No, really,” he said. “Look.”
I stared down at my body. My silver bikini shone in the moonlight, making my skin look dark. I was average in every way—height, build. Nothing would stand out. Certainly not supermodel material, but I wasn’t disappointed in my body. I shrugged and looked back at Joshua.
The need and desire in his eyes made me rethink my appearance. He thought I was sexy—the way he saw me was plain on his face. I looked down at myself again, at my breasts held back by the thin silver fabric, at my nipples jutting out defiantly in the ocean breeze. My tummy and my legs, lean from all of my hiking and yoga.
“Maybe you’re onto something,” I said with a nervous giggle.
“Oh, I know I’m onto something.”
He reached out to grab me again, and I let him catch me this time. I clambered into the space he’d made for me. I leaned back against his muscular abdomen. His abs and pecs were so ripped, he could’ve been a model.
But thinking of models reminded me of what Jamie had said, about how Joshua always played the field. There was always another girl waiting in the wings. Usually an actress or a model, he’d said. I could even see the sneer on his mouth when he said it, and then the apology in his eyes when he’d felt bad for hurting me. I’m telling you this so you can protect your heart.
The upbeat classic rock changed to something slow, one of those rock ballads Jess liked to croon when she had too much to drink. A welcome distraction from Jamie’s warning. I shook my head and smiled, thinking I’d tell Joshua about Jess’s love of rock ballads.
Just then the first blossom of fireworks exploded in the sky and reflected in the water.
“Ooh,” Joshua said, pointing.
“Ahh,” I joked. The resounding boom from the explosion came at the same time.
Joshua reached over to the platter and put a slice of cheese on a cracker. “Hungry?” he asked.
“Mm-hmm,” I murmured. I nipped at his fingers when he fed me.
Another explosion lit up the sky. Had he done this before? Taken other women out to view the fireworks? Did he view this yacht as an investment in future relationships with various supermodels?
“Sometimes,” he said, “I feel like we’re the only two people in the world. Those fireworks seem like they were made just for us.”
Doubt roiled in my gut like a choppy black sea. At that moment, I hated Jamie Tolbert with a fiery passion. He’d sown this seed of doubt in me, and now I couldn’t even enjoy the most romantic words to come out of Joshua’s mouth, because I kept worrying that he’d used this line on someone else, or maybe he was planning on saving it to use it again on some blonde he had tucked away while he was waiting for things to end with me.
It was certainly romantic, out here on our shared loveseat, alone with the show of lights and pyrotechnics. He was so warm and hard behind me, like my own personal heater and sex machine rolled into one. But what if I wasn’t the only one? What if, next year or even next week, h
e was out here practicing these same lines with another woman?
“Phillygirl?” He rubbed his hand over my arm and kissed my bare shoulder.
“Yes, EdensNomad?” I tried to make my voice sound playful, not miserable. It wasn’t his fault I had all of these horrible doubts churching inside of me.
In one smooth motion, he flipped me around so I was sitting sideways on his lap instead of facing outward. He gently turned my face so he could look me in the eyes. His brown eyes looked almost black in the moonlight, and they were wide with concern and care. I was such a fool to even listen to Jamie.
“What is it, beautiful?”
I shook my head and forced a smile, which somehow didn’t seem to fit right on my face. “Nothing. This is the most romantic weekend. You bought a yacht just so I could come out and see what it’s like. There are fireworks, there’s wine, there’s you. Everything is perfect.”
He cocked his head to the side, examining me. “I agree with everything you’re saying. But something’s bothering you. I want to fix it, so please tell me what it is.”
Three sets of fireworks whistled as they shot into the sky simultaneously. Red, white, and blue. I let the crackling noise fade while I waited to speak.
“Really, it’s nothing. Just me being silly.” My face felt hot with embarrassment. This wasn’t the woman I wanted to be. Silly with insecurity.
“I didn’t get to where I am by ignoring problems,” he said. His jaw was set, full of determination. “I want to hear it even if you think it’s ridiculous.”
“I guess I just have felt…I don’t know. I hate this word. Insecure. I don’t understand why you want to keep our relationship such a secret.”
A faint exasperation laced his words, but he rubbed his hands over my shoulders, trailing warmth and goose bumps in their wake. “I told you, it’s because of the office—”
“I know what you told me. I understand that.” I remembered Jamie’s argument and fell back on that, even though it pained me. “But you’re the CEO. You can change the rules; it’s your company. I just feel like if you really wanted to, we could be open about our relationship, and let people know. The only thing that would really stop you from telling the world about us, would be if you wanted to have another girlfriend.” My throat felt too full, but I had to continue. “If you wanted to see other people on the side.”
“What? No, Allison, I don’t want anyone except you. You’re it for me.” He sounded angry, and a little sad. He stroked my hair and twirled it around his fingers, trying to comfort me even though I was practically accusing him of cheating on me.
Ugh, if only I’d kept my big mouth shut. “I’m sorry, I know I’m ruining our evening with my paranoia…”
“You’re not paranoid,” he said, and then he chuckled. Still, he kept touching me, my shoulders, my hair, and my neck. “Well, maybe a little. But you have nothing to worry about. What put this thought into your head, anyway?”
I didn’t want to tell him it was Jamie. Joshua was angry enough at him already, and hell, I was, too. I hesitated.
His hands stopped their roaming and he said, “It was my brother, wasn’t it?”
I turned and pretended to be absorbed in the fireworks lighting the horizon.
He tensed behind me and growled, “You don’t have to protect him, you know.”
“I’m not just protecting him,” I said, “I’m protecting you. He’s your brother. When things are wrong between the two of you, it doesn’t just hurt him—it hurts you.”
“Dammit!” He stood up. He was careful not to jostle me, but I was instantly cold without his body surrounding mine. He moved to the edge of the boat and leaned against the railing, facing the water.
“Joshua?” I walked over to him, hugging him from behind and molding myself against the hard planes of his back. “I’m sorry.”
“I’m not mad at you,” he rumbled. “I’m mad at Jamie. He has to fuck everything up.”
His skin was warm and smooth beneath my cheek. I kissed his shoulder blade and felt him shiver. He turned and moved his hands along my arms. “You’re cold.”
“I’m okay.”
“Allison,” he said, “I don’t want anyone except you. I just want to appear professional at work. I know I’m hung up on appearances—I always have been. It was part of my upbringing.”
I nodded, fighting the tears that wanted to fill my eyes. “I understand.”
“And I hate to admit this, especially when you’re already feeling insecure. But maybe a part of me is afraid our relationship won’t work out. It would be so hard for me to cope at the office, with everyone knowing about us. Back to that appearances thing again.”
He was right—if everyone knew about us, and we broke up, the office scrutiny and gossip would be inescapable. But it stung that he had a plan for us not succeeding. Was he expecting failure?
“Allison? Are you okay?”
“Yeah,” I murmured. “It’s just sad to think about things not working out.”
If he was expecting failure, I couldn’t really blame him. I remembered back to how I hadn’t even told Jess that EdensNomad was really Joshua. I hadn’t even told her until after I slept with him. So if he wasn’t one hundred percent sure about our future, he wasn’t alone in that.
I mean, he was a freaking billionaire, and I was just…me. I couldn’t be a society wife like his mom had been. I loved my job. I wanted to work. Sure, I’d love to travel and try out new experiences like boating, but this wasn’t what I was raised for. We came from two different worlds. While I’d love to see things work out with him—in fact, I couldn’t imagine ever breaking up with him or seeing anyone else—it wasn’t such a big leap to see how our relationship might fail.
“It wrecks me to think about that, too.” He took my hand and led me back to the loveseat, where we cuddled and watched the fireworks, munching on the snacks he’d brought out, and sipping our wine.
Slowly, our sorrow transformed into something much more pleasurable. Joshua’s hands and fingers skimmed along my arms, legs, and hips, his touch comforting. Every time he reached a sensitive place and I gasped, he’d pull away again, teasing. The wine rolled over my tongue, sweet and heady.
“You’re beautiful, Phillygirl,” he whispered in my ear, right before taking the lobe in his teeth and biting down gently.
I gasped, feeling it all the way from my ear to between my legs.
“You’re the only one,” he said.
The fireworks were breathtaking, just like Joshua’s teasing. I threw my head back against his shoulder while his hands roamed my body. I moaned and wriggled in impatience for what would come after the fireworks’ grand finale.
Still, I wished we could tell people at the office about us. I didn’t want to hide anymore.
Chapter 3
Joshua
When the fireworks were over, Allison was drunk on my touch, practically mewling in my arms.
“Please,” she whispered. “Let’s go to the bedroom.”
I snaked one hand under our blanket and cupped her left breast. “Your heart’s beating awfully fast,” I said in mock concern. “Maybe you should refrain from intense activity.”
She turned over in my lap until she was straddling me. I kept my hand on her breast, and gently tweaked the nipple. She smiled and moaned, leaning forward to kiss me. I touched my tongue to her lips, asking her to open for me. She did, and we kissed, tongues twining.
She pulled back a little bit, arching at the touch of my hands on her breasts.
“Your heart’s still beating fast,” I murmured into her ear.
“So you’re a medical expert now, are you?” She pressed her pelvis into mine, causing my cock to jump to attention.
“Yes,” I said. It was almost a moan. “Dr. Tolbert, that’s what you can call me.”
She brushed her fingers over my cheek, smiling and arching an eyebrow. “Oh? Dr. Tolbert? Since I’m in such expert hands, I should confess that I’m not feeling well. Not fee
ling well at all.”
I touched her knees and slowly slid my fingers up toward her bikini bottoms. Her skin was so smooth, all I wanted to do was fling her back so I could run my lips and tongue up and down her legs. I smiled to myself. We’d get there, and soon.
“If you’re not feeling well,” I said, “you should definitely seek help from your doctor. First, though, I should take your temperature.”
I gently pushed her bikini bottoms to the side and slid a finger into her. She leaned her head back with a loud moan. She pulsed gently around my finger and she felt so tight and hot, I wanted to take her right then.
But no way; this foreplay was too much fun.
“I think you have a fever,” I said. “We’ll get you in to see the doctor soon.”
“Mmmm,” she said. “Is it time for my appointment?”
I trailed my tongue over her shoulder, to her neck and up to her ear. All the while, I continued to move my finger lazily inside of her. “The doctor will be in shortly.”
It was goofy to say these James Bond style puns, but I wanted to help her forget the heavy conversation we’d just had. I wanted to show her I was capable of opening up, and that now, and for the foreseeable future, she was the one for me.
“Let’s get you over to an exam table,” I said, sliding my finger slowly out of her.
She shrieked and laughed as I picked her up. I carried her, still straddling my waist, into the cabin. I looked around for something that would do as an “exam table,” and grinned when I saw the kitchen counter where I’d fixed our drinks.
“Perfect,” I whispered. I laid her down on the counter. Goosebumps, caused by the cool granite surface, dotted her flesh. “I’ll need you to remove your clothing for purposes of the examination.”