by Katie Kyler
I clenched my fists in anger. “So you wanted to ‘put me in my place’? Is that how you treat women?”
“No, no, god no. I love women. And I loved you, or I thought I did. I was just messed up. For what it’s worth, I’ve started a program to help me with my drinking. I was just intimidated by you. I still am.”
I felt the tension fall from my shoulders as I stared at it. I knew it was hard for him to admit any of this to me. We had been such good friends and then all of this happened. “Are you saying you’re intimidated by me now, because of my position?”
“No, just, you seemed to change so fast. And once my romantic feelings were out of the way, it wasn’t just that I felt like you were too busy with Joshua to be my friend. It also felt like Joshua was too busy with you to be my brother. I know it sounds stupid…”
I took another slow step toward him. I felt like I was finally making progress with him. He was teetering on the edge—if I pressured him too much, he might just get angry again, and we’d have to start from scratch.
“I can see that,” I said. “It sounds painful.”
“Fuck yes, it’s painful. My brother cares more about you than me. When he used to not even know you existed, Allison, but I was your friend. And now you two can only see each other.”
“It might seem that way, but we’ve been talking about you a lot lately,” I argued. “We both miss you.”
He deflated a little at that—all that puffed up anger seemed to dissipate, and his shoulders bent forward.
“You’ve been talking about me?” The raw hope in his voice made my chest ache.
“Yes. We want to fix things.”
He nodded. “All right. Maybe we should, get coffee or something.”
“That’s a great idea. But first,” I said, “there’s something I want to show you. Come here.”
I gestured toward my desk, and he followed. I kept getting the impression that I was trying to connect with a skittish animal. With a deep breath, I turned my computer monitor so he could see it.
I watched his eyes as he stared at the screen. At first he was puzzled, trying to figure out what he was seeing.
“This is the app?”
“Yeah,” I said. “With some modifications. We wanted to give it more oomph.”
“Oomph, huh? That’s a technical term, isn’t it?”
Jamie’s face tightened as he continued to stare at the screen. “These are the colors I picked out,” he snapped. “This one on the left was my top choice, but the other scheme was one of mine, too. I shared them with Joshua. Did you steal my ideas?”
“What? No! Jamie, I know these were your ideas. You talked to me about them—”
He took a step back and cocked his head. His lips pursed as he fumbled for the right words. “Is that all you were doing just now with that bullshit about wanting to make up, to fix things? Trying to butter me up so I wouldn’t notice that you’d fucking stole my idea?”
“No way, Jamie. This has all been genuine!” I reached for him but he lurched backward toward the door.
Right on schedule, Joshua walked past. Jamie saw him out of the corner of his eye. “Josh, get in here,” he said. “You can’t tell me you’re going to let her just take my ideas and use them like this. These were mine. Tell me you remember.”
“Hmm,” Joshua said. “I don’t know…”
“Joshua, don’t tease him right now,” I said. “He’s upset.”
Joshua chuckled as he looked at Jamie’s flushed cheeks and clenched fists. “Of course I remember,” he said, and the playful tone was gone from his voice. “You gave me a stack of design ideas.”
“And they weren’t good enough for you then,” Jamie sputtered. “But now that she shows them to you, you what, think they’re just dandy, huh?”
“Jamie, it’s not like that at all,” I said. “Would you just listen and pay attention for a second?”
Jamie didn’t respond.
I moved my hand around on the screen, bringing my favorite of the two schemes into the larger view. I pointed out the lines and colors. “See, these colors wouldn’t have worked on the desktop site. They’re almost too young for that, and they’d be overwhelming.”
Jamie gave a grudging nod.
I pulled out my phone and brought up the phone-sized version of the mock-up. “But look, on a smartphone, they’re perfect. They’re subtle in small doses, on small screens. Not overwhelming at all.”
It took a moment, and my breath was held, but finally Jamie relaxed. “You’re right.”
“I know, see!” I said. “But this was all yours! I wasn’t going to take credit at all. These are exactly your color schemes, straight from that folder you gave to Joshua.”
Jamie shook his head. “I didn’t plan it like that,” he said. “Not with the app or on the smartphone. It’s not really my idea.”
“Shut up, Jamie, it is too,” Joshua said. “It even has space for the ads you suggested in your folder, and images on the different buttons to make it more aesthetically pleasing and user-friendly. Other than the fact it’s on a smartphone, it’s exactly the design you gave me.”
Rubbing his hand through his hair again, Jamie looked from Joshua to me and back again. “So you…you liked my idea?”
“Yeah,” Joshua said. “It’s awesome. Allison saw it and she thought it would be a great fit. She’s just been polishing it up for you.”
“And you both called me in here to show it to me?”
“We wanted your approval before we moved forward with it,” I said. “We were hoping you’d be the one to press the button to launch the new design.”
Jamie didn’t cry, but his eyes looked shiny with unshed tears. “Thanks, guys. I know I don’t deserve it after acting like such an ass, but thank you.”
Joshua pulled him into a hug. Over Jamie’s shoulder, my gaze connected with Joshua’s. We smiled at each other, pleased that our plan had worked. I felt completely warm inside, because now there was no longer this uncomfortable rift in the company, and Joshua had his little brother back.
Chapter 6
Joshua
When Allison started walking down the aisle, I could’ve sworn the music swelled. The roses lining the path seemed more fragrant, and the sun shone even more stunning, its light kissing each of the wedding guests, but kissing Allison, perhaps, the longest.
Just like I wanted to do.
She looked just as beautiful as she had when we’d started dating six months ago. Her brown hair was maybe a little longer, but still curved in waves over her neck and shoulders. She was carrying a bouquet, though, so she couldn’t tuck any strands behind her ears.
The wedding was outdoors, in the late afternoon at a quaint bed and breakfast with extensive gardens. The air wasn’t cold, but it promised a crispness. I knew I’d be surrendering my jacket to Allison later on, to keep her bare shoulders warm.
She looked radiant as she approached me, walking slowly. With a smile, she winked at me. I managed to smile back at her, but it tore me up when she kept walking past to stand at the front near the priest who would officiate the marriage.
Not our marriage, I told myself. Her friend’s. But damn if I didn’t have an overwhelming sense of premonition here this evening. In a few months’ time, maybe…
I shook those thoughts aside and tried to concentrate, at least a little bit, on Jess and Jeremy’s vows. Still, my mind kept wandering to what kind of ceremony Allison would like, whether she’d want it to be outdoors or indoors, whether she’d want a big party or a smaller, family affair. Jess and Jeremy had opted for a family affair, but Jess’s aunt owned this property, and the gardens were gorgeous with fall foliage, yellows, reds, and oranges lighting up the trees.
If Allison could choose a time of year to be married, when would she choose? I pictured her as more of a spring bride.
I was getting too far ahead of myself again.
When the ceremony was over, Allison walked straight over to me. Her hips swayed gently in h
er shimmery blue dress.
“You look amazing,” I said, kissing her cheek.
She glanced down at herself and smiled. “The best part of being maid of honor at a fashion diva’s wedding? My bridesmaid dress rocks.”
The Mad Dog Harmonics were almost done setting up at the edge of the gardens. Even though Allison had told me she didn’t need me throwing money around for her and her friends, when I’d heard Jess was getting married, I’d insisted on helping with the music.
“Maybe it’s time for you to rock that bridesmaid dress,” I said, as the band began playing.
“No, first it’s the bride and groom. Then other people can join,” she said.
I contented myself with wrapping my arm around her waist and kissing her hair. Hugging Allison was like feeling at home.
“Okay, everyone else out on the floor!” Seth, the lead singer, shouted into the mike.
Allison pulled me toward the floor, shimmying next to me. My girlfriend could move. It was all I could do to make a show of keeping up with her.
Chris danced past us, his arms locked around a curvy woman.
“What’s Christopher doing here?” Allison asked. She had to press herself into me and lean forward to talk over the music.
“He’s friends with Jeremy,” I said. “I didn’t even know until he showed up at the bachelor party last week.”
“About that party,” Allison said. “Can you tell me anything about it?”
I smiled. “We all behaved ourselves, if that’s what you’re asking.”
“I believe you,” she said, laughing. “I don’t have anything to worry about. I never really did.”
“And you never really will.” I traced her jawline and lifted her chin so I could kiss her. She tasted like champagne and strawberries.
She snuggled into my shoulder, sighing contentedly. “Hey, your phone is vibrating,” she said.
I checked the screen. “Jamie. I’ll call him later.”
“How’s he doing?”
“Loving Europe, last we talked.” Jamie had gone to England to take some courses and explore some new ideas for Tolbert & Tolbert. He was actually checking in with some great ideas. “He’s been in touch nonstop,” I said. “He’s hoping to do some traveling in France and Italy before coming back next month.”
“I’m not surprised. It sounds like these sorts of travels would be right up his alley. This was a good decision for him.”
We nearly bumped into Chris and his date again, and Allison waved at them, but the music was still too loud for us to talk. Besides, Chris had a focused look on his face—he didn’t want to be distracted from his date. With satisfaction, I noticed that she looked the same way. Another happy couple—I smiled. The world was turning into a better place.
“So who’s Chris with, anyway?” Allison asked.
“Well, I’m not sure exactly,” I said, “but I think he might have met her through Scintilla.”
“No,” she said with mock seriousness. “I don’t believe it. People can’t find love through an app or a website.”
“Can’t they?” I tugged her closer to me, feeling her hips rocking with the beat.
“Well…maybe.”
“You don’t sound convinced,” I said. “Do you need convincing?”
She grinned mischievously. “Maybe.”
This was my opening. My hands felt sweaty with nerves, but I had to play it cool. I didn’t want her to suspect anything.
“Maybe you should go for a walk with me,” I suggested. “I can convince you then.”
“Joshua, I don’t want to do anything naughty at Jess’s wedding.” Her tone was stern.
“Don’t worry—your reputation will remain spotless. I wouldn’t do anything to jeopardize her day. I just want to get away from everyone for a while.”
She took my hand without hesitation and let me lead her down a meandering path through the gardens. It reminded me of my dad’s club, and I briefly thought of that amazing time we’d had in the boathouse. I wanted to remind Allison of it, too, but it wasn’t the right tone for the conversation I really wanted to have with her.
As we walked, Allison brushed her fingers against flowers that lined the path. She found joy in everything. I watched her and rehearsed some of what I wanted to say, too nervous for words. I couldn’t approach her with a script, because I wasn’t rehearsing lines. I was hoping to convince her that I would be her best choice, for always.
We came to a small pond covered in lily pads. The sun had set, and a series of lanterns gave off a soft light, making the place feel romantic. A fountain statue of Venus rising was set back on one edge, and the tinkling sound of water added atmosphere. This would be the perfect place.
I led Allison to a stone bench and put my jacket down so she could sit on it.
“Can I talk to you for a minute?” I asked.
She cocked her head to the side. “Of course. Anytime.”
“Good.” I took a deep breath. “This is really hard for me. I’ve never done this before.”
She gave me a puzzled look. “Is everything okay?”
“Yeah. Everything’s great. I just…I need to say something,” I said. The words didn’t come out at first. Would she think this was too soon? It might seem like it to some people, but it felt right to me. Oh god, what if it didn’t feel right to her? But she was smiling down at me, waiting for me to continue. I cleared my throat. “You make me a better person. You bring out the hidden parts of me that are great, and you make them shine. I’ve grown so much since I met you, I hardly recognize myself.”
Smiling, she said, “I like to think that I’ve grown into a better person since meeting you, too.”
I could only nod. She’d blossomed—both of us had—and I could only imagine what the next years would be like, if we continued to learn from each other, and continued to develop as people and as lovers.
I tried to speak again, but could only cough. It was getting harder to choke the words out. I’d never been so nervous in my entire life. “I love you, Allison,” I said. “I love your intelligence, your judgment, your good humor, and your kindness. I love the way you smile in your sleep. I love the little throaty sound you make when I kiss you. I love your clear picture of the present, and your vision for the future. I love everything about you.”
Her eyes shone with emotion. I took her hand and knelt down on one knee.
She brought her other hand up to her mouth, trying to hide her face. “Joshua? What are you doing?”
“Allison Mahoney,” I said, “I’m in love with you, and every day, I fall even deeper in love with you.”
By now, tears were flowing down her cheeks, but at least, thank god, she was smiling. I pulled the ring from my pocket and held it up so the lanterns along the pond could illuminate the diamond surrounded by three sapphires. Allison’s eyes grew wide.
“This was my mother’s,” I said. “It’s not the fanciest or most expensive ring my money could buy, but it’s the most precious.”
She was still smiling, and crying, and looking so damn lovely I could barely stand it.
“I know it might seem rushed, because we’ve only been together for a few months. But nothing has ever felt more right to me in my entire life.” I took her hand in mine. “Please, make me the happiest man in the world, and agree to be my wife.”
“It does seem soon,” she said. “But I feel the same way. Maybe, with a long engagement…”
“Then, you mean—are you saying yes, Allison?” I could feel all of my hope and vulnerability plain on my face, and I’d never felt so raw and exposed. Here she had the power to break me, for good.
She nodded, breathing heavily, and it didn’t seem like she’d be able to speak. Finally she tugged on my arms until I was leaning right against her. “Yes,” she whispered in my ear. “Yes.”
I placed the engagement ring on her finger, then kissed her and held her tight. I was never going to let her go.
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