by Jess Bryant
The knock came again, “Jemma? You okay in there?”
Her brow furrowed as she pulled the door open, surprised to find it was Colt standing on the other side and not Cash. She glanced behind him but his brother was nowhere to be seen. She immediately cringed when she noticed the serious expression on his face. In her experience, when this half of the Bomar twins was sans his dimpled smile, it usually meant trouble.
“Cash went outside to take a phone call. He’ll be back in a minute.”
“Oh… okay.”
“You want to hand me your phone? I’ll plug it in for you.” He offered.
“Um... yeah.” She stammered again as she pulled it from the bag and handed it over, “Thanks.”
“No problem.” Colt shifted, glancing over his shoulder before he lowered his voice, “Before he comes back, I uh… I wanted to say… I mean… I wanted to say I’m sorry… for what I did, or said, when we were kids.”
She knew immediately he was talking about what he’d done back in school and she didn’t miss the significance of this moment. Colt was not a man that was big on apologies. In fact, she wasn’t sure he’d ever apologized for anything in his life. He was what he was and he didn’t shy away from that or make excuses for it. The fact that he’d just apologized to her was a big deal and they both knew it.
“I know.”
“I had my reasons. It’s no excuse but I did it for him.” His eyes met hers, as troubled as she’d ever seen him, “I wasn’t trying to hurt you. I was trying to protect him.”
She blinked in confusion, “From me?”
“From you, from himself, from the world.” Colt scratched his stubbled jaw and sighed, “He’d already decided that he couldn’t keep you here and he knew that he couldn’t go with you. He was set on pushing you away and I did what I always do… I helped him. That’s all it was and I’m sorry that I hurt you. For what it’s worth, I meant what I said earlier. I’m glad you’re back. He’s missed you.”
Jemma’s head felt like it was going to implode when her brain processed what it was that Colt had just told her. He’d said Cash had decided he couldn’t keep her. He had said Cash pushed her away. What he meant was…
“Oh. My. God!” It clicked into place and she swayed when the shock hit her.
Cash had lied. He’d lied to her so that she would leave. He’d lied to her because he couldn’t go with her. He’d broken her heart, broken them up, because he had thought that was the best thing for her.
How had she not seen it before? How had she not seen the truth? He’d pushed her away for her own good because that’s what Cash did… he took care of the people he loved, even if he hurt himself in the process.
“Shit.” Colt’s eyes widened when she gasped, “You didn’t know.”
“Of course I didn’t know!”
“He said you guys talked last night, that you were giving him this chance to help you and make things right and I thought…” Colt cursed like a sailor, “Shit! Shit, he’s going to kill me for telling you before he could.”
“All this time I thought he used me and discarded me like trash because he didn’t care about me.”
Colt groaned, “Oh come on, Jemma. Don’t bullshit me. Maybe it was easier to think that way but deep down you knew he was crazy about you. How could you not?”
She struggled to make sense of it all. Her entire life had imploded just a day ago. Her present and her future were completely up in the air. Now she was staring into her past and finding out that nothing was as it seemed there either. Her entire life was a lie.
“I don’t know. I didn’t know… Damn it Colt, I can’t deal with this right now.”
“Shit.” He shook his head, “I thought you knew or I wouldn’t have…” He stilled and frowned again, “Jem, Jemma, listen to me. You can’t tell him I told you.”
“What?” She blinked when Colt grabbed her arm.
He winced when she jerked back from him, “Shit. Sorry, I keep fucking up. I didn’t mean to grab you. Just, you can’t tell him I told you, Jemma. Please, promise me you won’t tell him.”
“What? I can’t…”
“He’ll tell you himself. You know he will, don’t look at me like that. It’s haunted him for five years and you’re finally back and you’re finally here and you need him. He’ll tell you, it might not be until he thinks you’ve worked out all this shit with the fiancé but he will.”
Her brain was whirling again as Colt pleaded with her. A part of her knew that he was right. The part of her that had never liked to believe that Cash used her for sex and discarded her so easily because the whole thing had been a lie. The part of her that had been madly in love with the boy that broke her heart knew that Cash was better than that. That same part knew that with some time and some distance from her current problems, that Cash would eventually tell her the truth.
Because there was still something between them. There was no denying that. Even amid all of her pain and anger, she was attracted to him, intrigued by him, wanted to be near him. She could have refused to get in that tow truck, could have insisted he take her to a hotel no matter the distance, she could have ignored him or yelled at him, but instead she’d let him take her home with him, comfort her and protect her.
“That tattoo… on his chest… that’s real?”
Colt winced as if he’d already admitted too much but he nodded, “Yeah, it’s real.”
She gaped. Cash had her name tattooed on his chest. Over his heart. A tattoo that hadn’t been there before she left town.
“Jemma.”
“What?” She huffed when Colt said her name again.
“You can’t tell him I told you. Not yet. He has enough to deal with right now without being mad at me. I can help with all of this but he won’t let me if he’s mad at me.”
“Colt I…”
“I’m serious. Don’t say anything. Please?”
She was still trying to figure out why Colt wanted her to keep the newly revealed secret to herself when the door to the apartment opened behind him and Cash came through it. He’d pulled on a t-shirt with his shorts but his hair was still adorably disheveled. He paused, sensing the tension in the room. His mouth thinned and his eyes narrowed as he glanced between them and she realized how close they were standing, realized that it would look as though Colt had blocked her from leaving the bathroom.
“Damn it Colt.” Cash growled and started forward, “I told you to give her space. I told you to leave her alone. I leave for five goddamned minutes and you’re already giving her hell?”
“No.” She stepped between them as soon as Colt moved back, out of her way. “No, Cash, stop.”
He pulled up short when he reached her. She could tell he wanted to go around her. He wanted to grab her, move her to the side, and fight with his brother. He wouldn’t though, because he didn’t want to scare her. He would protect her, even from him. Whatever doubts she might have had about that before, Colt had wiped away with the truth only minutes ago.
“Cash, stop.”
“Are you okay?” He pulled his glare off his brother and his gaze softened the instant it met hers.
“I’m fine.” She reached out and put her hand against his chest, the chest that was marked with her freaking name, “I’m fine. You know Colt wouldn’t hurt me. Don’t insult your brother like that just because you want to protect me. I don’t need protection from him and you know that.”
His jaw twitched, “You looked upset.”
“We were just having a discussion.”
“An upsetting discussion.” He glared over her head at his twin, “What were you talking about?”
“Look…” Colt started but she cut him off by talking over him.
“Colt was apologizing. He wanted to clear the air about what happened when we were in high school.” She smiled softly when Cash raised his hand, put it over hers, holding her palm against his chest where she’d placed it, just over his heart, and had to focus to keep her words steady after the
intimate gesture, “Colt apologized and I forgave him. We’re fine. We’re both fine.”
Since her hand was against his chest, she could feel him exhale a breath of relief. She felt the urge to step closer to him, offer him some sort of comfort. He didn’t want there to be bad blood between his other half and her. Just like she couldn’t stand the idea of being the thing that came between these two brothers who obviously cared so much about one another.
She’d known them all of her life. She’d known the twin terrors that tried to burn Old Settlers Public School to the ground. She’d known the Bomar boys that came to school with bruises and sometimes broken bones, in dirty clothes and with dirty hands. And she wanted to know these big, strong men that they had become.
She could only imagine the horrors they’d faced, had only ever heard the rumors and seen the things they couldn’t hide, but she knew, instinctively, that they wouldn’t have made it through their childhood without each other. They were a team. They always had each other’s backs. And she wouldn’t be the one to come between that, particularly not when Colt had just opened her eyes to what was standing right in front of her.
Cash had loved her once. Loved her enough to let her go. Loved her so much that he’d broken both of their hearts rather than see her live her life full of regrets. Loved her so much that sometime after she’d left he’d still had her name permanently branded into his chest.
It was a big, gigantic, life-altering revelation. It was something she needed to think about. She needed time to process what it meant then and what it meant now, five years later. She needed to decide how to handle it, and him, and Colt had been right. She couldn’t do that until she figured out the rest of her life, which was also a gigantic mess right now.
“Who were you calling?”
“What?” Cash looked confused by the change of topic.
“Colt said you went outside to make some calls. Who were you calling?”
“I uh…” He dropped her hand and moved away from her, a chill seeping in where before there had been nothing but his warmth, “I talked to Auto. He’d left a message asking about the Jeep with out of state tags in the lot.”
“You didn’t tell him…”
“No.” He cut her off with a shake of his head, “Just said it was from the tow and to get back with me when he had an estimate. He didn’t ask any more questions than that and he won’t.”
“Are you sure?”
Colt cleared his throat as he moved around them back into the living room, “Not all the cars that go through the garage are on the up-and-up sweetie. Ask the wrong questions and you end up with answers you don’t want to know. It’s the Bomar way. Your car will be fine and nobody’s gonna ask about it.”
“Oh…”
“I’m not part of that side of the business but the anonymity will work in our favor this time.” Cash quickly explained, “Auto won’t ask for your name until the bill comes due and by then you’ll have decided what you want to do.”
“What I want to do?” She was beginning to feel like a parrot, repeating him because she didn’t understand.
“If you’re going to head out of town or if you’re going to stay.”
The hope in his gaze was clear and she sighed. He was right. She didn’t know what she was going to do yet. She’d run home without a single plan or thought towards the future.
But was she staying? Or was this a temporary hiding place? All she’d been thinking when she got in her car was that she needed to get someplace safe, find someone she trusted, and go from there. She’d found Cash but he wasn’t who she’d come for.
“Skylar.”
Colt jerked upright from where he’d only just collapsed on the couch, “What?”
“I still need to get in touch with Skylar.”
“She’s camping with her boyfriend out by the falls this weekend.” Cash explained when Colt looked between them questioningly. “Jemma tried calling her last night but couldn’t reach her. That’s why she stayed here.”
“Yeah, that’s why.” Colt smirked.
Jemma ignored him, “Did you try calling her while you were outside?”
“No. I don’t have her number.” Cash flashed a sarcastic smile, “I wasn’t joking about her not talking to me.”
“Colt just plugged my phone in and it’s still dead. Once it powers up, I’ll try her again.”
“Yeah that’s as good a plan as any.”
“You’re not going to be able to reach her.” Colt spoke up and then shrugged when they both looked at him, “Not on the phone. If she’s at the falls, there’s no service out there. She won’t even get your messages until she gets back on the highway to head home.”
Jemma swiped her bangs out of her eyes, “It’s Sunday. Surely she’s planning to come back today right?”
“Doubtful.”
“What?” She frowned when Colt stood up again.
“Her salon is closed on Mondays. She might not come back until tomorrow.” His lips twitched into what could only be called a scowl, “And if she’s out there with that rock-hugging rig rat, she might not even be back Tuesday since he’ll be on leave all week.”
Since he was speaking a language she hadn’t heard in years it took her an extra second to decipher what he was talking about. Rig-rat was a nasty slang term usually reserved for the women that camped out near one of the oilfield rigs in order to land a man. The hilarity of Colt calling Skylar’s boyfriend by that term wasn’t lost on her.
Neither was the fact that Colt seemed to know an awful lot about Skylar’s schedule.
It took longer for her to figure out what he meant about the guy being on leave. Rig workers generally worked in two-week shifts, which meant depending on when they left, Skylar could spend another week minimum in the woods with her boyfriend.
“Skylar won’t stay in the woods for a whole week. I’m shocked she made it a full weekend.”
“She hasn’t. Not yet.” Colt’s scowl turned feral at the edges, “You can’t reach her by phone so that only leaves one option. Somebody should go out there and get her.”
“What?”
“You need her here. She’d want to be here for you if she knew you were in town. I’ll go pick her up and bring her back.”
“Colt…” Cash shook his head.
His mood switched again just that fast and he grinned, “I don’t mind. Really. I want to help and this is something I can do. Just let me freshen up and then I’ll head towards the falls. Only so many places they could be camping out there. Should have her back to you in a couple of hours tops.”
Colt winked as he moved past her towards the bedrooms. Jemma watched him go, confusion hitting her again as she tried to process how he’d gone from smiling to scowling to that almost evil grin in the matter of a minute and somehow it all had something to do with Skylar. Cash was still shaking his head when she looked back at him.
“Do I even want to know what that was really about?”
“Probably not.” He scratched his head when she only raised her eyebrows, “Colt hates that guy Skylar’s been dating.”
“Because he’s some random rig hand nobody in town knows anything about?”
“Yeah, that… and because he’s got it bad for the girl.” Cash grinned.
Jemma couldn’t help herself. She laughed. It was such a foreign feeling to want to smile and laugh that it surprised her, almost as much as the idea of Colt having a crush on her friend.
“Seriously?”
“Yeah, seriously, now come on, I’ll give you all the details but only after we snap some pictures of your bruises.”
Her laughter died just that fast and painfully. There, for just a second, she’d forgotten about her troubles. She’d just been a girl, laughing about something silly and inconsequential. But right now, there was nothing so frivolous as a crush for her to deal with. She had real problems but the sooner she dealt with them, the sooner she could get on with her life.
For the first time in a long time
she was looking forward to what came next.
Chapter Six
Something was different this morning but he couldn’t put his finger on what it was. It wasn’t one thing. It was everything. It was Jemma. The way she looked at him. The way she talked to him. The way she touched him… or rather, the fact that she touched him at all. Something had changed and even without knowing exactly what it was, he was grateful.
She wasn’t picking fights with him. She didn’t argue with him over every word that came out of his mouth. She didn’t jump out of her skin when he got close to her and she didn’t look at him like she was expecting the worst.
He didn’t know what had caused the change. Maybe it had been a good night’s sleep. Maybe it was just a little time alone, some distance from what had happened. Maybe she’d finally accepted that he wasn’t the enemy or the devil he’d painted himself as.
Whatever it was that had softened her towards him, he silently gave thanks for the opportunity and promised himself that he wouldn’t make her regret it. Not this time. He wouldn’t let her down, not again, not ever again. He’d destroyed her faith and her trust in him once already and he’d never expected to get a chance to right that wrong. Now that she was here, he would. Whatever it took. He would protect her.
Cash swiped water out of his hair with the towel and then tossed it over the shower rod to dry. After his brother had bolted from the apartment to track down Skylar, Jemma had looked at him, all big eyed curiosity and humor and he’d wanted to hold onto that moment for just a little while longer. He’d wanted to let her think about lighter things, silly things like Colt’s fascination with the pretty blonde that lived next door. So he’d filled her in while they had cereal for breakfast and then excused himself to take a shower.
Showering with Jemma in the other room had proven to be impossible. Every time he ran his hands over his body, he imaged it was her smaller, softer hands. He’d turned the heat off but not even the cold water had helped.
Because he didn’t have to imagine what that would be like, he had the memory of it from years ago to taunt him. Memories that he’d worked hard to tie up, tie down, lock down somewhere deep inside him, somewhere they were safe. But Jemma had touched him earlier and broken through all of his locks and chains.