“You stop that or I will shove that bottle where the sun don’t shine!” she ordered the man. He turned while continuing to urinate. The urine splashed up onto Annette’s shoes.
When Annette returned home, Kyle was watching a football game on TV. The half had just ended and there was brief local news coverage. “In a bizarre incident a man was found hog-tied with packing tape at a local post office in Salt Lake City. There was a hole cut in the man’s trousers and a beer bottle was extending from his rectum. The man claims that he was attacked by a gang of “Straight Edgers”, but witnesses say a lone woman attacked the man. The man was lying in a puddle of urine.”
“Is that a great story or what?” asked Kyle. “Did you get a present off to your mother?”
“Yeah, no problem.” There was a kind of smirk in Annette’s voice that got Kyle thinking.
“Do you know anything about the incident at the post office? Wait! I don’t think I want to know.”
A well built man in his mid thirties carrying a briefcase and wearing an expensive Italian suit entered the lobby of Gas Products in Centerville, Utah. He approached the receptionist. “I would like to see Mr. Fidell, please.”
“I’m sorry; he is in a meeting at the moment. Can I schedule you an appointment to see him?”
“Here is my business card.” The man slid across the desk his card resting on a one hundred dollar bill. “Do you think that he can break free of the meeting?”
“Let me check,” responded the grinning receptionist. Soon Mr. Fidell, the sole owner of Gas Products, came to the lobby.
“How may I help you, Mr. Bracken?”
“I am here on behalf of a client to pay a bill. May we discuss this in your office?”
“You are welcome to discuss a bill in my office, but if you are looking for your bill to be discounted I am afraid that you are sadly mistaken.”
As the door closed behind them, Mr. Bracken continued. “We are not looking for a discount. Last year your entire inventory of helium was borrowed by my client. We estimate the value at $20,000. Would you accept $250,000 as payment in full?”
“Well, I suppose that we could accept that sum.”
“Of course, my client, who prefers to remain anonymous, would expect you to drop all criminal proceedings and promise not to file charges in the event that his identity becomes known.”
“Yes but how can he make payment and remain anonymous?” At this point Mr. Bracken placed his briefcase on Mr. Fidell’s desk and opened it. He turned the open case to face Mr. Bracken. It contained $250,000 in small bills. Mr. Bracken removed from the case a legal document stipulating the conditions and asked Mr. Fidell to sign it, which he did so eagerly. On his way out Mr. Bracken slipped the receptionist another one hundred dollar bill.
Two days later Mr. Bracken visited the West Coast Logging Company and made a similar payment, which was likewise well received. He then visited the University of Utah and made an $8,000,000 donation but this time in the name of Samuel Waters. The university was required, of course, to drop all criminal charges.
Chapter 25 – Hard Time
During Kyle’s months of recuperation, he had watched enough TV and movies to catch up on a lifetime of abstinence. He was very anxious to get back to engineering work. He thought of dozens of useful devices that the company’s base of knowledge and patents made practical. Many of them were designed for the handicapped and were intended for humane purposes rather than profit. Kyle was welcomed back as an employee at CompuSonic. Kyle had developed some bad habits during his time away from a regular job and school schedules. He had been sleeping in. He set his alarm for six AM the next morning. He was surprised when he got up to find that Annette was already up. He found her in the kitchen fixing him breakfast. “Kyle, I want you to come home by 4:00 today,” instructed Annette. “We are going to the premier showing of the latest Star Trek movie and I have arranged for us to be made up by professional makeup artists. I have wanted to do something like this as long as I can remember. Don’t be late.”
“So what are we going as?”
“It’s a surprise.”
Kyle could hardly concentrate on work wondering what strange creature he might be made up to resemble. He just hoped it wasn’t a Ferengi. When Kyle arrived home, he found four extra cars parked in front of the house. He was met at the door by Annette and ushered into the basement where a team of makeup artists was assembled with suitcases full of makeup, clothing, masks and accessories. For over two hours, the team worked on the couple. When they finished, the Jameses were Klingons. Kyle had the physique for a Worf lookalike and made an impressive looking Klingon warrior. Annette had the bust for a Klingon woman but needed platform shoes to give her adequate height. A limousine transported them to the theater. To Kyle’s dismay, they arrived over half an hour before the show began, even though Annette had pre-purchased tickets online. It turned out that the point was to be seen in line and compare costumes with other Star Trek enthusiasts. There were some impressive costumes, but none came close to the Klingon couple. Many pictures were taken and Kyle feared his wife’s highly exposed cleavage would make the front page. It concerned him that many were staring at more than just Annette’s costume and makeup. After all of the hoopla, the movie itself was rather disappointing. However, the true Trekkies were not to be deterred and a party was held at a local restaurant after the viewing. Kyle would have been bored except that he saw how happy and excited Annette was throughout the entire evening.
Annette was still excited the next morning. “I always knew that if I ever had lots of money I would know how to have fun with it. Yesterday was one of the best days of my whole life.”
“I don’t care much about money, but it was wonderful to see you have such a great time. If you ever want to do something like that again, I’m game.”
“You are the most wonderful husband in the world. You know, though, I will have to raise the bar for next time.” Kyle was not sure he liked the sound of raising the bar but figured he could deal with it.
March 31 was Annette’s birthday. Kyle arranged for a large celebration for her at their home. All of their friends were invited and a local catering company provided an extravagant meal. Kyle also hired professional musicians and entertainers for a full evening of festivities. He hoped he was “raising the bar” sufficiently for Annette’s satisfaction. For her birthday present, he had secured a promise from the producer of the Star Trek movies that Annette could play a part as a significant extra in the next Star Trek film. Before Annette blew out the candles on her cake, she said something that had everyone wondering. “My wish is that in the end you will enjoy my secret birthday present as much as I know I will.” Neither Kyle nor anyone else knew what Annette was talking about. After the guests and entertainers had all left, the happy couple collapsed into bed.
Kyle awoke the next morning feeling as if something was very wrong. The bed did not feel right. When he reached for Annette, his hand collided with a concrete wall. He felt in the other direction and found that he was lying on a very narrow bed. He sat up and looked around in the dim light. He definitely was not at home. He rotated his legs off the bed and his bare feet touched a cool concrete floor. He stood and moved away from the bunk. He had his hands extended to protect him from collision with a wall. One of them contacted a steel door. It appeared he was in some kind of jail cell. Kyle’s first thought was that he was dreaming. He pinched himself. He sure seemed to be awake. Suddenly the lights went on. He was not just in a jail cell; he was in prison, surrounded by other prisoners, each in their cells. Over a loudspeaker came the blaring message, “Rise and shine, let’s clean up those filthy bodies.” The door of his and all the other cells on his wing automatically opened. Inmates began filing out heading down the hall. Kyle looked and found that he was wearing a prison uniform. He tried to figure out what in the world had happened to him. One night he was a free man celebrating his wife’s birthday and the next morning he was a prison inmate. As he pondered on
the strange change of fortunes, a guard shouted at him.
“Get the lead out, James. We ain’t got all day.” Kyle reluctantly joined in the line. The inmates entered a room in which they all stripped and tossed their soiled clothing into clothes hampers. They were then marched off to the showers. Kyle noticed many eyeing him and was glad that he had sufficient size and strength to resist any advances. He felt much better when the shower was over and he could put on a clean uniform. The group was marched into the cafeteria. When Kyle saw what they were eating, he was glad he had his store of flavor memories. He was hungry and found that with the right added flavors the food was not bad. As Kyle looked around, he would catch people looking at him who then quickly looked away. Suddenly it hit him. It was April 1; Annette was playing a world-class April fool’s joke on him. He was determined to give Annette her money’s worth, and maybe even have some fun himself. He tried not to smile as he figured things out. After breakfast, the prisoners were escorted back to their cells. Kyle tried to look around the cell without making it obvious what he was looking for. Sure enough, there were several miniature cameras stuck to the ceiling and in nooks and crannies. Kyle sat on the bunk with his head down trying to figure out how Annette would expect him to act. His thoughts were interrupted by a guard who opened his cell door.
“Well James, today’s your lucky day. After a year of good behavior, you are rewarded with a conjugal visit. Your wife is waiting for you.” Kyle hadn’t expected Annette to show up but went along with the gag. He was escorted to a room containing a huge woman who weighed at least 300 pounds. Her arms were covered with tattoos and she was missing several teeth. She opened wide her arms and ran towards Kyle. Kyle reciprocated and to the woman’s shock greeted her with a mock passionate kiss.
“Oh, baby. I been waiting a long time for this.” The guard had left the room and Kyle started removing his uniform. The woman had a most bewildered look on her face. She was obviously expecting Kyle to be repulsed by her looks and be looking for an escape route. By the time Kyle was down to his underwear she began to cry. Kyle pulled his uniform back on. “It’s OK lady. You played your part just fine. Games over now Annette.” Kyle knew the miniature cameras had a very short broadcast range and that Annette would have to be close. The door opened and Annette entered the room.
“So when did you figure things out?” she asked.
“During breakfast. How did you like your birthday present?”
“Great. I expected you to figure things out within the first few minutes. Thanks for not being too bright.” Later that week there was another party held for all the friends and they watched videos of Kyle’s prison experience. Many had not laughed so hard since they were children. Their favorite part was the look on the woman’s face when Kyle kissed her. All agreed that it was the best April fool’s joke they had ever heard of.
Annette was working in the garden in the afternoon. She noticed a bumblebee sitting on a flower near her. It was equipped with a microprocessor and a miniature camera. Annette put her face near the camera and said, “Hello, Samuel. We need to talk.”
Chapter 26 – Secret Agents
Becky lost the baby she had been carrying after only a few months of pregnancy. Josh did not fully explain, but Becky had some serious reproductive problems that might bar them from ever having children. “The doctor says that we should not even try again for five years. It is unlikely that Becky will ever be able to carry a child to full term,” explained Josh to Kyle over the phone.
“Does Becky feel okay physically? I know she must be extremely disappointed.”
“Becky is in good health. We of coarse are disappointed. However, Becky is an extremely upbeat person. She says that not being able to have children may open up all sorts of service opportunities. She is a woman of incredible faith and gratitude to God. We have even talked about a shot at the Olympics. Her body may not be very good at making babies, but it can sure excel at sports, especially volleyball.”
“Kyle, I don’t just want to make money and have fun spending it. I want to use our unique capabilities to serve our country and mankind.” Kyle had been almost ready to fall off to sleep when Annette hit him with this unexpected line of thinking. He wondered why it was that women always seemed to want to have their most serious conversations when their husbands were ready for sleep or other activities typically accomplished in bed.
“What exactly do you want to do?”
“I want to be some kind of special agent. With my computer reflexes, language skills and body control I can do things that no other woman in the world can do. And you have some special capabilities of your own. With our ability to communicate without external devices we would make the perfect secret agents.”
“How can we be secret agents? We have been seen on TV by millions of people. There have even been articles about us in Time Magazine and the Wall Street Journal.”
“I know, but dressing up as Klingons made me think that with the proper disguises we would not be recognized. I have learned about ways to temporarily change skin color. I can quickly learn to speak any language without an American accent. I can even learn to talk with a regional accent and vocabulary. I know that you can mimic voices. It might take you longer, but you can also learn any language and I think that we can even perfect your accent. I know that it sounds kind of farfetched, but it would really make me happy.” If there was one thing that Kyle liked to do, it was to make his wife happy.
“OK, if you can find a government agency that wants to use us, I guess we can give it a shot.”
“Oh, thank you, Love. When can you turn in your resignation at work? The CIA already has a mission in mind for us. I knew that you would say yes so I have already made the arrangements.”
“I haven’t even received a pay check yet and you want me to quit? I’m sure that the guys would be happy to just pretend that I never came back to work and call it even. I haven’t really had time to get started on anything that important.”
“Great, we’ll start tomorrow with a small upgrade to your system. Good night, Dear.” Annette put her body in sleep mode, but Kyle knew that her mind would still be working at full speed. The urge to sleep had left him and he stayed awake for hours thinking about what upgrade he would receive and what mission they would be assigned.
Kyle awoke late having taken hours to get to sleep the night before. Annette was already up and had fixed breakfast. At breakfast, Annette explained the small upgrade. “Kyle, the external earpiece that looks like a traditional hearing aid has to go. It would normally disqualify you for the work we will perform and could be a significant security risk. I have worked out an alternative solution to providing audio input and power. With the help of outside consultants, I have designed an inconspicuous microphone that can be imbedded in the flesh of your ear. It will look like a small freckle. The coupling coil will be imbedded under your skin so that it is not visible. We have also created a miniature version of your power source that uses sugars for fuel. We will embed the power source under your scalp. You will additionally be equipped with a miniature ultrasonic transducer that will be more sensitive than your microphone.
After breakfast, Kyle called CompuSonic and explained his need to undo his rehiring. Annette had arranged to perform the minor surgery in the University Hospital’s portable operating room. Annette, with the assistance of a Dr. Teng, performed the operation. Only local anesthesia was required. Within a few hours, Kyle was able to return home. He and Annette told their friends that they would be traveling for an undetermined amount of time.
“Kyle, I would like to ask a favor of you,” began Annette as they drove home. “I would like you to begin, starting now, to record everything that you see and hear and keep it stored until I can upload it. I will try to upload each night while we are in physical contact. There may be important evidence gathered or just memories to preserve.”
“No problem babe. Just don’t let it go so long before offloading that I start running out of storage
space.”
The next morning Kyle and Annette caught a plane to Washington DC. An unmarked sedan driven by an agent named Ramon Hernandez picked up the couple at the airport. “Welcome Mr. and Mrs. James. We are so excited and pleased to have you join us. Are you confident that no one but the three of us and the director knows that you are here?”
“I am very confident that no one else knows that we are here, unless of course if you or the director have told anyone else,” responded Annette.
“I can assure you that we have not. Because you are so well known, it is imperative that the number of people who know that you are here is kept to a bare minimum. I will be taking you first to a nearby safe house. We will be alone. I have personally created new IDs for you. You will be Jorge Martinez and Maria Alina Morado. These were real people with builds similar to yours and similar facial features. After we alter your skin color, a reversible process I might add, you will look much like them.”
“What happened to the original Jorge and Maria?” asked Kyle.
“You don’t need to know that, Mr. James.”
“But surely we do if we are going to assume their identities,” argued Kyle.
“Look, Kyle, I promised Mrs. James that I would never lie to you. If you press me you may not like the answers you get.”
“If I am going to have to do the kind of things that you do, I must know what kind of things you do. I insist on knowing what happened to these people.”
“I killed them in a couple of clandestine drug busts. It was justified deadly force, but admittedly, I placed myself in a position that I had no other choice. Furthermore, no one outside of our group of four even knows that they are dead. Jorge and Maria had no criminal record so your new names will not raise any red flags. You will stay at the safe house until your complexion has changed and you have perfected your accents and perfectly assumed your roles. I will bring supplies in the mean time. The way that you two became doctors in a year, this should be a piece of cake in comparison. It normally takes about two weeks for the color change to be 80 percent complete. It will take a couple more months for it to finalize, but no one will notice that. When you are ready to leave the safe house, you will begin a rigorous program of CIA training as Jorge and Maria. You will act as if you do not know each other at the start of training. You can pretend to start a relationship then if you like, or you can maintain your distance. Personally, I doubt that you will choose the latter, but it is up to you. Here is the documentation on your new IDs.” Ramon handed each an envelop complete with photographs, hand writing samples and detailed life descriptions. We are almost to the safe house, your new home for at least the next two weeks. Annette quickly paged through her document and then took Kyle’s from him. She scanned it just as quickly and then holding Kyle’s hand transmitted the data to him.
The Computer Who Loved Me Page 25