by Max Lockwood
Clara wanted him to come to the house because he wanted to, not because he didn’t have much of a choice—which, really, he didn’t. But, maybe, if he wanted to be there when they brought him, she refused to think if, there would be less chance of him running away after he got fed for a few days. Even if he could get his hands on some food, a little boy living out there on his own just felt so wrong to her.
After he’d run off, she had even stayed around a little longer, hoping he would return that night and holding back the urge to just follow him, because she believed what Jack had told her was true. If they pursued him after that scare, he might have gone further. And while she was sure she could outrun him if she needed to, the trees would be in the way, and the boy could possibly hurt himself while they ran.
She had nearly gone after him anyway.
Clara didn’t know why, but something about the boy got to her. And it wasn’t just the sympathy she felt for him, because he’d lost his parents and he was alone. She could relate to the first, but not the latter. She hadn't even seen his face clearly, and his voice had been wobbling through his tears as he talked. Clara had a soft spot for children, but her focus on this kid was nearly excessive. She almost didn’t go back to the house at all, worrying about him. Only knowing that it would be better to be there for the next time he showed up made her move.
She didn’t need to define it, anyway, as long as whatever it was led her to finding him and taking him in.
Because she’d been out so late, she’d been allowed to wake up later than everybody else. Cooper had just been coming in from working in the field since early morning, and they were in the kitchen having a meal.
Only, Clara didn’t feel like she could eat, so she kept moving food around on her plate. Cooper, good friend that he was, had asked what was wrong, and she’d spilled.
“Do you really think he’s alone? He could have been lying.”
She pursed her lips, wanting to deny it immediately, though it wasn’t like it was impossible. He could have been doing it to gain sympathy, maybe a way into their house, and bring other people with him. Children were innocent, but Clara knew that wasn’t always the case. The kid could have been crying for a different reason, someone could have told him to say the things he did, and they would have sympathy for him because he was small and helpless and alone.
But she didn’t think it was a trap. She had no proof besides her intuition, but her instincts hadn’t lied to her before, she just didn’t always listen to them, or react in the right way.
“I’m pretty sure that kid hasn’t seen other people in a while, and probably not because he just didn’t want to. I feel sorry for him, knowing his parents are both dead… and he probably got to see it.”
Cooper gave her a knowing look. “You mean like you?”
She scoffed. “More like Tessa. I told you before, didn’t I? I don’t remember what happened. I was just told when I woke up at the hospital that they were gone.”
She didn’t even get the full story when it happened, and, though it grated now, she had been nothing but relieved then.
Her family had been out on a trip when her parents died in an accident. As far as Clara knew, both she and her sister had been there when it happened. Only, Clara didn’t remember anything before waking up in the hospital, and she’d done her best not to think about it as a means of dealing with her grief. A poor one, but one that worked for her at the time.
Tessa hadn’t been so lucky. She’d had a bad feeling before the trip and tried to get their parents to reconsider, only they didn’t. It was the birth of her current condition, because whatever she saw stuck with her. Clara hadn’t known until recently that she had one recurring dream, sometimes a little different but with the same theme; watching their parents die over and over in front of her.
She’d deluded herself into thinking she knew the future because she’d had a feeling something bad would happen, and days later their parents ended up dead. Tessa hadn’t coped, and her mental health deteriorated. She even isolated herself and refused to leave the house, for a decade.
The only time she came out, willingly and on her own, was after the EMP. Though Clara hadn’t been okay with the reasons, since she’d been gathering crowds and tried to turn them into her way of thinking, even created herself a following.
The boy likely wouldn’t end up exactly like her sister, the circumstances were too different, and Tessa had been nineteen at the time, not a child. But it would probably leave the kid traumatized, and she couldn’t see how he could grow up as he was. If he even managed to live so long on his own. He could take from the farm as much as he wanted while staying away, Clara knew Jack wouldn’t mind, but if he ran across some unsavory people out there…
She shuddered just thinking about it, and felt fear for the boy.
“I really just…” she said, running out of words to express what she really wanted in her frustration. She let out a sigh and slumped back in her chair, crossing her arms over her chest. “I want to run out there, so badly, and find this kid.”
“You can't be so rash,” Cooper chided. “This sort of thing takes time. I can't say I’ve ever met a kid in his exact situation before, but if it’s as bad as you say, you definitely made the right call not to go after him. Being aggressive isn’t going to help you.”
Clara eyed him curiously. Cooper would be the person to know more about kids than she did. She knew he didn’t have kids, though he’d thought of it, if he hadn't been lying when he’d told her that.
Come to think of it, there was a lot of Cooper’s past Clara didn’t actually know. She called herself his best friend, but Clara was actually a pretty self-centered person. She’d only come to that realization recently, and she wondered how this had escaped her even then. It didn’t help that she was always feeling sorry for herself and Cooper was always trying to cheer her up.
For a moment, she felt the need to apologize, before brushing it off. Cooper would never take it, even if she did apologize. In his mind, she hadn't done anything wrong, and yet, the guilt wouldn’t fade.
But by the way he spoke, Clara could tell there was more to the story. He said the boy’s “exact situation,” so did that mean that he’d come across something similar before?
“You sound like you have some experience,” she finally said, suspicious.
Cooper just laughed and pushed her plate of food closer to her, silently nudging her to eat.
“What’s that look for? You know I’m good around kids, it’s why I chose to become a teacher.”
“Yeah,” she muttered as she sat upright and reached for her spoon. “But we both taught high school.”
“Well, I did plenty more besides that. Stuff I did on the weekends, during school breaks, that involved kids. And, usually, sports, but not always.”
Clara knew some of that. While she went home after school was over, Cooper would sometimes go to the town community center and coach a little league baseball team, sometimes basketball. She tilted her head to the side, wondering what that had to do with anything. Cooper saw her curiosity and smiled.
“That piece of advice could work on most people, though, so don’t think too much about it.”
She chewed slowly, looking down as she continued moving food around her plate. She’d thought talking to Cooper would make her feel better, but she felt worse than she did before. Her stomach clenched a little, and she added on the guilt of not finishing the food on her plate, when it should be considered a blessing that she had any.
“I just realized this, but… I don’t really know a lot about you, do I?” she glanced up at him form under her lashes, but he was frowning at her.
“What are you talking about?” he asked, confused.
She sighed and put the spoon down, pushing the food forward as she folded her arms on the table and braced her chin on her arms.
“I mean, Cooper, that we’re usually talking about me and my problems. I know you like sports because we watched it plenty
when I showed up at your apartment sometimes. I know you like camping because you’ve told me about the camping trips you’d take with the kids at school sometimes as the supervisor. The little I know about your family, barely scraps, are things you mentioned at random and I just happened to remember.”
He was still frowning. “So?”
Clara frowned back at him. “So, I don’t know what your childhood was like, if you wanted to do something other than teaching. I know a few of your likes and dislikes from observation, but not a lot.”
He suddenly looked amused. “You’ve been observing me?” he said teasingly, wagging his eyebrows.
Clara just snorted and rolled her eyes, then went on. “You know about all of my relationships, yet I knew nothing about yours. I don’t know if you ever even dated, because I definitely haven’t seen it for as long as I’ve known you. Also, we’re two years apart in age, yet you and I got a job at the school almost at the same time, yet I don’t know what happened with you in those two extra years.”
She had come to depend on him, once she started counting him as a friend. Cooper had made it so easy. He asked about it when he saw she was troubled, and he was just so warm and bright all the time that she’d started unloading on him at some point, she couldn’t even remember when. He always seemed happy, so there had never been any need for reciprocation.
The more she remembered, the worse she felt, until she wanted to curse herself for her oversight. She could have missed something, some chance to repay everything he did for her, and all because she was so lost in her own misery.
Clara should be ashamed of herself, and as if he realized the self-deprecating direction her thoughts were taking, he spoke.
“Clara, it’s completely fine,” he said, smiling.
Clara scowled and wanted to shout at him. Of course it wasn’t fine. But he was still smiling at her, looking completely unconcerned.
“How could it be okay, Cooper?” she muttered. “I was a terrible friend.”
It was his turn to roll his eyes. “You worry about the oddest things at the oddest times.” Then he turned to her with a serious expression. “Clara, none of that matters now. We have the rest of our lives. And if what you want is stories of the parts of my life you weren’t a part of, then I can tell you, but they won’t matter. Because I plan to stay with you from now on, and we can make so many memories. Hopefully, better ones. Those are the memories that matter.”
Her face warmed as she listened to him talk. It still hit her sometimes, when he said something like that out of the blue—not that he did all that often—that Cooper, her best friend, was actually in love with her and probably had been for years. Or, because that felt conceited again, some months before the EMP attack. How could she have missed it?
And hearing him talk about memories, her mind jumped to the boy again, wistfully thinking that it would be nice if he could be a part of them. Then she scowled at herself and sat up.
“There’s still the issue of the boy,” she said.
She couldn’t believe she’d actually put thoughts of him aside for selfish reasons. But she wasn’t going to beat herself up over that. She was now more motivated than ever to go and find this boy and give him a home. Not just because he deserved it, but she wanted it for him. Someone so young shouldn’t be alone, and he wouldn’t be for long is she could help it.
“Well,” Cooper finally said, startling her and pulling her out of her thoughts. “The answer to that one is clear. We can’t let him stay out there on his own, can we?”
She scowled at him. “Of course not! I don’t know if he’ll be coming out in the daylight, but Jack promised me he’d tell the patrollers heading out in his direction to keep a look out for him. If they don’t find him, I intend to be back out there.”
Clara chewed on her lip, wondering if, maybe, because the child already knew her, he would feel safer seeing her, and wouldn’t appear with the others there even if it was in the light of day. Which was ridiculous, it had been dark and he probably hadn’t gotten a good look on her, like she hadn’t seen him that well.
“He’s going to need someone to guide him,” Cooper said. “A guardian.”
Clara nodded absently. That was a given. They couldn’t replace the boy’s parents, but if he didn’t mind someone filling in the role…
Then Cooper smiled and said, “I should do it.”
Clara was confused, and she blinked at him, not understanding what he meant for a second. Cooper rolled his eyes at her, noticing her confusion.
“I’m saying, Clara,” he continued, “that I could adopt him.”
Clara blinked again, her mouth opening, though nothing came out, because the words were beyond her comprehension.
“I know that it’s rash, and I know that we’re only just beginning our lives now, but it’s different in the new world—we never know what’s around the corner, and the boy needs someone to look after him.”
“But you barely know a thing about kids,” she murmured.
He grinned. “I didn’t just teach physical education to teenagers, Clara. I’ve gone camping and done other stuff with kids of all ages. Trust me, I can handle it. Besides, this way we can start with that memory making, right?”
She jumped a little. It was like he’d read her mind. She could feel excitement start to build in her chest as she thought about making memories with her, Cooper, her sister, and that little boy. She couldn’t wait to begin, but there was still some reservation.
She didn’t doubt him. She knew there was a lot more to Cooper than she knew, even though she would be doing her best to change that in the near future. But if he said he could handle it… A slow smile grew on her face, and when Cooper reached for her hand, she let him take it.
“I think it’s a wonderful idea,” she said, squeezing his hand. “We should go and wait in the same spot I saw him last night. I was going anyway, and you can come with, if you’d like. Unless you think you’ll be too tired?”
He had been working in the morning, and she planned to be out there by early evening. She could tell by the position of the sun outside that it must have been past noon, which meant she’d be going out in a little while.
But Cooper didn’t seem to mind. “I can stand to lose a little sleep, don’t worry. But maybe I could rest for a while? The guys out on patrol should be coming back to switch soon. Tell me then and we can head out.”
Plan in place, Clara let him go and catch a short nap. As she waited for the patrollers out on the field to come back, she went and helped with tending to the field, but stuck close to the house. Felicia, who was the closest person around, commented on her excitement, but Clara brushed it off. It would have been faster to just explain about the boy, but Clara didn’t feel like talking right then. Her mind was busy worrying about what would happen later on.
Would they meet the boy? And if they did, would they be able to talk him into going back with them? Her anxious thoughts swarmed around each other, and slowly turned to a mini-panic. What would they do if the boy ran again, if he didn’t trust them? If he didn’t even show up? Clara was psyching up for this, and she knew it would leave her devastated otherwise.
She tried to remain optimistic, and she worked with a little more gusto than necessary with the worries plaguing her. Felicia made another comment, one Clara didn’t quite understand, and like before, she dismissed it as nothing. Felicia gave her a suspicious look, but didn’t pry.
When it was time, she went and got Cooper. He took a minute to wake up, and they were off. She took him back to where she was sure she’d met the boy before, moving fast and haphazardly, and she might have knocked down a few corn stalks in her haste. She’d just have to remember to pick them when she went back, or someone else would if they came across the damage. Cooper didn’t say anything about her speed, just matched her.
When they got there, she directed him to sit where they would have some cover. Hopefully, the boy would approach if he didn’t see them.
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��But if he’s met you before, shouldn’t he want to get near you?” Cooper asked, confused.
Clara chewed on her lip. “I don’t think so. It was dark, he probably didn’t see me all that well.”
They’d just have to wait and see how the kid reacted. And wait they did.
Clara and Cooper waited for several hours out in the dark, waiting for the young boy to appear, but he didn’t, and with each passing hour, Clara’s impatience and frustration increased, frustration because there was nothing she could do.
“We should go out into the forest and see if we can find him,” Cooper said, breaking the long silence.
But Clara pursed her lips, then explained, “I don’t think that would go over well. He’s skittish, which is understandable. Unless he makes the first move, we can’t go in there. I don’t want to scare him.”
They waited for a few more hours, but he didn’t show. Deflated, they returned to the house.
Chapter Fifteen
Clara woke up after another night of little sleep. She’d had plenty the night before, and besides, there was no way she could just fall asleep. At this point, she was getting used to randomly going without sleep, anyway.
It was stressing her out, though. She didn’t want to go back to sleep, though she didn’t feel like getting out of bed, either, her body feeling particularly heavy. She groaned and rubbed at her eyes.
She’d spent most of the time thinking about the boy, wondering where he was and how he was doing, her worry increasing little by little until her stomach actually ached. She felt exhausted, mentally and physically, but she pushed herself out of bed.
Cooper still lay there, and Clara sighed as she shifted so she could sit with her back to the headboard and Cooper’s head near her hip. She remembered his own disappointment, and reached out to brush her hand through his hair.
After his optimism yesterday, the letdown had probably hit him just as hard as it had her. He had been the one to insist they go home when he felt too much time had passed. Clara had been reluctant, but followed him anyway. Unlike her, he’d been able to fall asleep.