Connections

by Jacqueline Wein

  She licked the sticky lemon flavor off her finger and hurried to meet a heart-attack victim. After that, it was a whirlwind of attending to patients, prying information out of new arrivals, and calling for specialists. When she came back to her desk, she collapsed in her chair for a two-minute break. She slipped off her left shoe to massage the throbbing callous, stretched her arms, and rotated her shoulders. Then, energy renewed, she resumed the midnight-to-eight.

  Toward the end of her shift, she called her husband at his all-night gas station in Brooklyn to tell him what time she’d be ready to come home and started cleaning up for the replacement team. As she sat at her desk to freshen her makeup, she noticed the lollipop and realized she had never had time to give it to the little girl, who was probably fast asleep in her own bed by now. She stuck it back in the drawer. She saw the card with the report of a dog bite and knew she might get into trouble for not mailing it on time. She considered just dumping it. What good would it do the Bureau of Animal Affairs anyway, when the victim didn’t even have an address. That’s why they’d had to admit him, just to watch him in case of rabies. She flipped the card over. It was postpaid by the Department of Health. She could just drop it in a mailbox, when she passed one. She put it in her bag and waited in the doorway, hoping the day nurse would be on time. She could always blame the delay on the post office. They deserved it.

  Chapter 108

  Honda waited on the worn welcome mat, a spasm of shakes and shudders spraying water and hair in the hallway. As soon as Louise came back with the old bath towel, he offered his front paw, his ears flat back as if admitting some guilt. “It’s okay; it’s not your fault it rained.” She rubbed him vigorously. “But did you have to jump into the puddle?” When she was finished with all four feet, she massaged his body dry and twisted the towel into a terry-cloth rope. The air cracked as she slashed it toward him. She screamed in fright as she let him chase her through the apartment and eventually grab the end of the rope. They both grunted and growled during a fierce tug-of-war and then tumbled to the floor so the victor could administer his customary licks of consolation to the loser. That was the best part of the game.

  Louise relaxed flat on her back, with Honda’s head resting on her shoulder, one front paw across her chest. Warmth and affection spread through her. She wondered if the bonding between a mother and a newborn baby on her breast could be any stronger. “You’re my guy, aren’tcha?” She kissed the silver triangle between his eyes and held him tighter to her. She relished the feeling and worried that she would never be able to share it with another human being. Even Ken, although each time she was with him, she felt closer to experiencing it—abandon with someone. The ultimate freedom. Like she felt with her dog. For a minute, she wanted to shrug off the intimacy that she was ashamed must hint of perversion.

  Honda’s brows were lost in his thick fur but the shaggy ridge shirred in concentration as his eyes tried to follow Louise’s mood, able to distinguish every nuance of her expression. “Don’t worry,” she reassured him, “there’s no way you’re going to be boarded. Not for Labor Day, not next Christmas, not even for the apocalypse. Uh-uh.” She had told Ken she would consider it. Well, she just had. She could never enjoy the weekend, worrying about Honda being in a cage. Not that he would be mistreated. But her soul lurched at the thought of Honda crying for her, wondering why he was being punished. You couldn’t explain to a dog that it was only for a few days. That she couldn’t bring him to a stranger’s house and even though Ken’s parents might love animals, she couldn’t ask them. She couldn’t explain to Honda that he’d be better off in a kennel than at home all alone.

  Look how he was now, at the end of a long day. She knew that he knew what time it was. No matter what anybody said, he knew. And he waited at the door so he could hear her coming in downstairs. Unable to contain himself. Then anxiously watching her change into a pair of jeans, eager to go. Not only because his bladder was probably bursting, but because his heart was bursting with the joy of being with her, the anticipation of coming home from their walk and spending time together with her. No, she just couldn’t put him in a kennel.

  The fleeting possibility that Ken would give her a hard time about it tugged in her chest. That he would make her choose between them. But as soon as the thought took form, it evaporated. That was one of the endearing things about Ken. He respected her feelings, no matter what they were. Respected them and accepted them. Something that nobody had ever done before. Or to be honest, maybe it was because she had never let anyone know what her feelings were before. No, it was going to be all right. At least she hoped it was, because if there was any doubt, if Louise were ever forced to make a decision, she knew who she’d give up. God knows, I’ve done it before.

  “You’re my guy,” she said out loud and clutched Honda, “my main squeeze.”