Only Once: A Single Parent- Hollywood Romance

by Ashley Munoz

  The trouble with choosing someone first was, so often, they didn’t choose you back, and it felt like flames against your skin when you realized your heart belonged to them regardless. Ryan would always be my first choice, and now I knew without a shadow of doubt that I would never be his.

  One week later

  “Bex, are you ever going to talk about it?” Shay asked softly while we stretched in the backyard. The sun was bright, the sky a fresh blue, and the birds were even chirping. It was a glorious day, but for some reason my best friend decided now was the best time to finally broach the subject of my breakup.

  I crinkled my features. “What’s there to say?”

  Moving into downward dog, I focused on my breathing and stretching while I heard my best friend let out a heavy sigh. Ignoring her, I focused on my movements, emptying my mind of how painful it really was that Ryan had completely disappeared from my life after saying the most hurtful words he could have possibly said.

  “It’s not fair,” Shay said as she breathed out.

  She’d been saying that a lot over the last week. I merely grunted in response because no, it wasn’t fair. It wasn’t fair that he’d lied about the Shelly thing to the public, allowing my name to be dragged through the mud, or that he’d put my own children’s feelings on the back burner, all so his career would be safe.

  “I’m angry, Shay. I’m more angry than sad, which is a good thing. Sadness is a breaking feeling, and I don’t want to break,” I quietly confessed while I sat cross-legged on my yoga mat, letting the sunlight pour over me. “If I break, he wins. I don’t want him or Logan to win. Fuck them both, and may they both rot in hell.” If I’d had a cup, I’d have offered it up in a cheers to my best friend.

  Shay gave me a sad smile in return. “Okay, I’ll be on your hate train…let’s get you out of this house and on the prowl again.”

  Normally, I’d have told her no, but my kids were gone and my heart was wounded, so I jumped up and agreed. I had one week until my kids were back with me, and I had every intention of purging the pain of Ryan’s dismissal from my life.

  “What the hell, Bexley?” Logan seethed, darting a look around the coffee shop we’d agreed to meet up at. I’d known this reaction from him would be coming the second we met face to face. He must have seen my little spotlight moment at the local bar when the rodeo was in town recently.

  A cowboy offered to buy me a few drinks, and I’d taken him up on the offer, including the heavy make-out session afterward. He left the next day and I would hopefully never see him again. It was fun…meaningless, but fun. I was starting to see the allure Ryan had found in random hook-ups. I wouldn’t have sex with just anyone, but the idea of using someone simply to feel something only to move on the next day was slightly brilliant. At least that was what my broken heart thought.

  “Did you even consider that your children might have seen that little clip?” Logan continued to scold me. He hadn’t even said hello.

  “Well, did they?” I quirked my brow in question.

  Red marred Logan’s firm jaw and the slight scruff he had growing there. His eyes roved over my face like he was searching for some sign that I was alive inside.

  “No, thankfully it aired after they were in bed, but that doesn’t mean they won’t find out.”

  “Not really a concern of mine right now.” I spoke the lie easily…though of course that was a concern. I’d had no idea someone was watching me at the bar and snapping pictures. Shay hadn’t either, and once we found out, we were infuriated…but they’d already been sold, and there was nothing we could do without getting a lawyer. I didn’t have that kind of money.

  “Is that why you’ve been such a bitch lately?” Logan sneered as he gazed down at me. “You’ve been so snappy an—”

  “And that’s all you’re going to say about that, you prick. Don’t call me a bitch and then think I’ll stand here and listen to what you have to say.” I started away from him, but his gentle hand on my shoulder stopped me.

  “I’m sorry…I was just surprised. Our conversations changed, and you just weren’t there anymore, then that…” He shook his head. “I was jealous.”

  I knew that must have been a bucket of ice water on him. I ignored his texts unless they related to our children. I answered his calls, but any time he tried to flirt or anything more, I cut him off and steered the conversation back to the kids. I’d never been so forceful with him regarding our parental agreement or relationship. Guilt had always loomed in the background when I talked to Logan, withering my backbone and keeping me from dealing with him harshly. I’d paid for that misstep by losing Ryan to Logan’s lies.

  A mistake I wouldn’t be making again.

  “Are my children ready?” I dodged his comment and looked around the space. Tables littered the small shop, a few filled with people laughing and conversing, others occupied by people hunched over open laptops.

  Logan’s blue eyes assessed me before he answered. “Yeah, they’re over there playing one of those arcade games.” He lifted his thumb over his left shoulder, indicating a small alcove toward the bathrooms.

  Ready to sidestep him, I moved to the left, but his hand darted out toward my hip.

  “Bex, just hold on a sec. I thought you and I could talk over a cup of coffee.” Those crystal blue eyes bored into me with the same intensity from when we were together and he wanted me to marry him. Old Bexley would have caved and agreed to sit with him, out of guilt.

  “You lost the chance to sit and talk with me over coffee the second you sabotaged my relationship by telling Ryan that bullshit about us kissing.” I pushed past him, nearly seething from how hurt I still was that Logan had said what he had. I was so angry with him and myself I could barely contain the words begging to fly from my tongue. I wanted to wound Logan, hurt him like I was hurting.

  “Bex, please…just listen.” His hand jutted out, grasping my elbow until I was spinning around, facing him.

  “No, Logan, you listen.” I pointed at his chest, and a few of our fellow patrons darted their gaze toward us. Logan noticed and took a few steps back.

  “Do you even care that you cheated on your girlfriend?” I didn’t have much sympathy for Dana considering she’d gotten with him when she knew he had a family at home, but still. I wondered if he had any remorse at all that he’d wronged another woman in that fashion.

  “I know you don’t care that I was finally happy, that I found someone I pictured a life with—”

  “Oh, because a life with me would have been so horrible?” Logan shot back, his face turning red.

  “Yes, it would have. Look at yourself! You’ve cheated twice, you have children with two different women…you ruined a good thing you didn’t need to ruin, Logan. I don’t want anything to do with you, other than regular child support payments and for you to stay in touch with your kids.”

  He brought his hands to his hips and cast his gaze to the floor. “If you let me explain—”

  “Not interested.” I turned and headed toward the alcove before he could rush after me. “Hey!” I crooned loudly as I rounded the corner and found my kids turning the plastic steering wheel on a racing game.

  “Mommy!” Bella yelled, scrambling down from the orange bucket seat. Cole followed quickly after. I crouched down and grabbed them both in tight hugs, desperate to hold off the tears that threatened to fall.

  “Is Wyan in Bwazil, or is he at home?” Bella asked, and the question sliced through me in a fresh way, a way that burned and bled me dry, because they associated home with Ryan. He was important to them, he mattered…and I had to be the one to tell them he’d never be there again. How was I supposed to explain to my kids that Ryan never wanted to see me again?

  I couldn’t.

  32

  Three Weeks Later

  “Ryan.” Someone was talking through my hotel room door, but I just shoved my head further under the pillow. “I’m not joking—fucking open this door!” It sounded like Grant…though m
aybe not; all of their voices were blurring together at this point.

  I closed my eyes, refusing to yell or acknowledge whatever it was that this person wanted. I already knew why he was here.

  “You can’t just walk off set! We have a contract, and why the hell are you at this resort instead of in your trailer?” A fist pounded on the door.

  I could call security, thought maybe I should…but it would just escalate things. I needed to deal with this head-on and spare the poor families around me.

  Letting out a heavy groan, I got out of bed, the dark room spinning as my hangover crashed over me, reminding me of how empty my minibar currently was. Another reason I should get up—so the housekeeper could come in and restock everything.

  Shuffling to the door, I opened it and blinked harshly against the white light that crept in.

  “Fuck.” I stumbled back, pushing the heel of my hand into my eye socket.

  Someone slammed the door behind me then walked around me and pulled open the curtains, letting in sunlight—bright, horrific sunshine.

  “Really, Grant? Is that necessary?”

  “Yes, Ryan, it fucking is!” He lowered his face, yelling into mine while I slumped into the bed.

  “Why are you here?”

  “Why am I here?” A harsh scoff left Grant’s throat. “I’m here because you walked off the production set in the middle of filming. I’m here because your little stunt set us back two weeks, and I’m here because there’s already press who got wind of your little breakdown!”

  I winced as his voice thundered through the space. A second later he threw a pillow across the room with force.

  Heavy silence flourished as I sat there, unwilling to address his accusations. Yes, I had walked off set, and yes, I knew I was screwed for doing it…but in my defense, I’d been totally hammered when I had done it.

  “Why are you doing this?” Grant crouched until he was eye level with me. “Why risk your career? Do you know how hard it is to remain relevant in Hollywood? Or with HitFlix, for that matter? All the A-listers are signing contracts left and right for roles because streaming services are where their money is. You’re on top right now…the top choice of male lead for a new role, the top for interview requests, the top for all of it, and you’re just throwing it all away.”

  “I’m not…” I started then stopped, gritting my teeth. “Look…I’m going through some personal stuff right now. I’m sorry. I’m not trying to ruin anything for anyone, but I can’t work with Shelly right now.”

  “Why?” Grant moved until he was sitting next to me.

  I doubted very much that he wanted to know the real reason all this was going down. Everyone knew Shelly was a diva, but very few knew how horrible and dark a person she really was.

  “She’s saying shit under her breath every time we finish reading lines. She changed up that scene we were doing, the one where she was just supposed to kneel in front of me and then the scene would fade to black.” I looked over just as Grant grimaced in acknowledgment.

  He knew what I was talking about. Instead of the scene fading and her kneeling, she gripped my length and tugged on my jeans while biting her lip, like suddenly we were in some porno.

  “You guys are so harsh with me about all this, but no one…not a single person said jack shit to her about that stunt—or the one where she kissed me even though the script said she was merely supposed to press a peck to my cheek. It’s sexual harassment, and I won’t tolerate it.”

  That and every time she did anything to me, she’d laugh or joke about my small-town girlfriend, the one I was actively trying to forget. Time, as it turned out, was a cruel bitch when the other shoe was shoved onto the proverbial foot.

  I had wondered many times if this was how Bexley had felt after she’d left me…if she’d wondered about me all night, missing out on much-needed sleep. I wondered if she had second-guessed it all, going over the relationship in her mind and wondering where it all went wrong. I hated that I didn’t know what was happening in her life, or with the kids. My stomach churned as I considered what they must think of me after hearing how I’d treated Bex that last day.

  “This isn’t just about Shelly,” Grant whispered, moving off the bed and walking toward the television. TMZ was playing a clip of celebrity news, and one of their headlines was Ryan Prince’s small-town fling getting frisky with a local. My gut twisted. I’d seen it, the footage of Bexley at a bar, dancing with some guy, letting him kiss her, move her, and get twisted up so much so they had to blur out the video.

  She hadn’t called a single time, not that I thought she would. The day I left her, I had been drunk as hell, but it wasn’t an excuse for what I said, and I knew her well enough to know she could never overcome those words.

  I missed her. I ached for her in ways I hadn’t ever felt…this time it was a deeper cut, a more intense loss than it ever had been in the past. I wasn’t sleeping, I was drinking more than I normally did, and when I showed up for production, I didn’t talk. I also didn’t want to work.

  Shelly knew something was off and had seen the mess we’d made regarding our fake relationship. It all worked out for her, but now she was pressing for there to be something between us, something real. Not emotionally—never emotionally—but physically. If I had to guess, she’d stage a sex tape or catch me in the act somehow, so she could sell it or hand-deliver it to Bexley while smirking about ruining my life.

  “I’m sorry we put you in this position, Ry…I didn’t realize how serious it was between you two.”

  It was my turn to scoff. “I told you it was serious, told you she was different, and you said it was out of your hands…but that wasn’t the only reason we ended.”

  Her response regarding the kiss Logan had mentioned ran through my head late at night when I was consumed with her the most. It was obvious to me now that Logan had just been trying to get to me, and I had let him. I’d broken up with Bexley because I sensed that she’d break up with me over the Shelly thing, and that little doubt I had about her relationship with the kids’ dad just sent me over the edge, ensuring nothing could be fixed.

  I stared at my producer, who had also been my close friend for over three years. Remorse shown in his eyes, regret evident in the way his shoulders sank in, and by the way his jaw flexed, I knew he truly did wish he could take all of it back.

  I stood, extending my hand. “Look, I hate to do this to you, man. You know I do…but I already talked to my friend about this film, and he agreed to do a casting run. He’s already here in Brazil…I’m buying my way out of the contract.”

  Grant waved his hand. “There’s a clause for family distress that will excuse you without penalty…I’m a bastard for not mentioning it, but if you’d had your lawyer get involved, they would have found it.”

  Bringing my hands to my hips, I stalked toward the window. He was a bastard for not saying anything, but I understood why he hadn’t. They could easily argue that Bexley wasn’t my family and neither were the kids. Nothing had been submitted, and there was zero proof that they were mine.

  “Who’s the friend?” Grant sank into the dresser, his billowing dress shirt loosely tucked into a pair of white cargo shorts.

  I smiled, knowing he wouldn’t mind at all who I’d found as my replacement. “Gavin Higsby.”

  “You serious right now?” Grant perked up, an excited grin exploding over his features.

  “Dead serious. He’s a floor below me, reading through the script.”

  “Shit, it’s still a loss to not have you, but if I had to re-cast…he would be my next pick.” My producer walked over and grabbed my arm, smiling his thanks.

  “You thought I’d leave you high and dry?”

  “Man, I wasn’t sure what was going to happen. Shelly is shitting bricks because you didn’t show up today.”

  Yeah, I’d figured she would. She had successfully blacklisted herself from my career. Any movie she was in, I’d drop out of from now on.

  “You can
be the one to explain that I quit this film over having to kiss her on set.” I laughed, moving around the room.

  I realized belatedly it was already almost ten in the morning. I wondered what Bexley was doing. Was she working, or driving to pick up her kids? Maybe she was on a date or having lunch with someone Shay had set her up with.

  My gut twisted as I considered that I’d likely never know. I’d lost her. Besides, regardless of what I wanted, Logan would always be in their lives, and maybe they’d be better off if I just stayed away.

  “So, what will you do now?” Grant asked, standing and preparing to head for the door.

  “I’ll head back home…figure it out from there.” Something I wasn’t exactly excited to do. My fall fling had already tried to contact me, but I couldn’t bring myself to reply to her. I couldn’t imagine myself with anyone but Bexley, which was even more infuriating because she was out there living her best life—drinking, dancing, and not giving a fuck that she’d broken my heart.

  “Just be happy, man…you know that’s all anyone wants for you. You deserve that.”

  I knew I did; problem was, I had no idea how to get back to happy when all the happiness I realized I wanted in life was wrapped up in that small yellow house.

  “Think you can wait a while before you leak this, or at least see if you can contain what they’ve heard already?”

  Grant smiled. “Yeah, I’ll make it my personal mission.”

  33

  I stared at the red door and willed it to disappear. It wasn’t that I didn’t want to see Gloria—on the contrary, in fact—but it was so much more difficult when she was so closely tied to Ryan. She’d reached out to me through a random phone call, asking if I wanted to come have coffee with her. She’d even invited the kids. At first, I had wanted to dodge the call, ignore her like I had dodged her existence when I moved to Oregon, but I couldn’t keep living like that.