That made her think about Christian. There had been a slightly heavy ache in her chest since she’d sent him back to his room four days ago. She couldn’t be missing him already. She had come to terms with his leaving. She had convinced herself that he was a pleasant little interlude in her life. That he was somebody who took away from the monotony of her life for just a little while.
“Mama?” Abby looked up at Georgia with wide eyes. She was holding the new baby doll Georgia had gotten her for her birthday.
“Yes, love?”
Abby stood up and lifted her arms to picked up. It was almost as if she was checking to see that Georgia was still there. Abby was used to being shipped off to Mrs. Sheppard’s at this time of night. It was as though her little body had some kind of alarm clock that warned her when it was time for her mother to go away.
“I’m not going anywhere. You have me for three more whole days and nights.” She settled Abby in her lap as her daughter snuggled against her breasts. “You’re a good girl. You know that? You’re better than you should be. If you threw tantrums or acted like a brat sometimes, Mama wouldn’t feel so rotten about leaving you. But you don’t. You seem to know how hard things are for us. I appreciate you.” She kissed her forehead. “I want you to know that and I hope I don’t forget to tell you that from time to time.”
Abby looked up at her, her little face scrunched in confusion. “You have no idea what I’m rambling on about. Do you, baby?”
“No!”
“Ah, your favorite word.” She grinned at her daughter before she picked her up and smothered her face with kisses.
The ringing phone saved Abby from being kissed to death. Placing her daughter on her hip, she answered it.
“Hello?”
“Georgia?” a quiet voice asked. “Is that you?”
All at once Georgia started to tremble all over. Abby touched her face, reminding her that she couldn’t fall apart. That this was the voice she had been longing to hear for so long.
“Mama? I’m here.”
“My sweetheart,” she choked.
Georgia noticed the difference in her voice. Her mother sounded frail, almost broken. For a moment Georgia thought her mind was playing tricks on her and that this woman on the other end of the phone couldn’t be her mother. But it was. She knew her mother’s voice as well as she knew Abby’s face. Her dulcet-toned accent couldn’t be replicated.
“Tell me you’re happy, Georgia.” Her voice came out strangled. Panicked. “Please. I need to know.”
Out of all the people who had betrayed her, she wanted to be mad at her mother the most, but she couldn’t muster up any anger. Georgia and Carolina may have been indentured servants to the family, but their mother’s fate was far worse than theirs. She had lost a child, too. Her firstborn son. She had taken the brunt of her husband’s harsh change in behavior. He treated her as if her loss was less than his.
Fiona had always been so delicate, so beautiful. Her soul didn’t seem like the kind that could survive living with such an unyielding man. And yet for years, she’d seemed to soldier on.
Little by little, though, she’d stopped laughing. She would put on a show for the parishioners, curling her lips when it seemed appropriate, but the family stopped seeing any real joy come from their mother.
At first their father pretended he didn’t notice, but even he couldn’t miss that his beautiful wife was slipping away into herself. He said it was her nerves. He blamed it on his daughters for not doing enough of the housework to take the burden off their mother. But that simply wasn’t true. And even though Fiona never said a word against her husband, all of her children knew they were loved. She showed them in secret ways. They seemed to be what kept her going, and now they were all gone, grown up with lives of their own. She was left in a house with a bitter man who had never gotten over the death of his son.
Georgia couldn’t stomach that. Especially after she had read her sister’s letter.
“Come stay with me, Mama. You don’t have to be there anymore. Live with me, Mama. I’ll take care of you.”
“I—I can’t.”
In the end she always chose her husband. Georgia swore she would never be like that. Abby would always come first. “Please, Mama.” She tried one more time, the tears streaming down her cheeks. “Just come see me, then. I miss you.”
“He’s coming. I have to go. I love you.”
She disconnected, and with her daughter in her arms Georgia broke down and sobbed.
* * *
Christian was restless. He was tired of being confined to his room, to this hospital. He was tired of spending his days doing nothing. Eating shitty food and waiting for something to happen. He knew he had to go back.
His superiors had finally come down from Washington to officially offer him his promotion to captain and to thank him for his service. They told him he had options now. They said he could be an instructor, like General Lee had suggested, or he could lead his own company in Afghanistan.
He had done a tour there already. It was much different from Iraq. The terrain alone was a major obstacle to overcome. He knew the statistics. This would be his fourth time overseas. He had already been hurt. He might not come back alive. But what was his other option? He didn’t see himself in the classroom. He needed to be where the action was. This long stay in the hospital had made that incredibly clear.
He left his bed, tired of seeing the damn thing, and paced around his room. The doctors told him he had another full week there. He wasn’t sure why. Parts of his skin were still tender and healing, but his body was ready. His brutally bruised ribs had healed. He didn’t have full use of his arm, but he could move it well enough. He was sure it would be fine when he was able to really use it. His physical therapist was surprised at the ferocity with which Christian had approached his workouts for the past week. If he wasn’t exhausted and sweaty by the end of them, then he hadn’t worked hard enough.
He couldn’t wait to go running, to lift weights, to be physical. The day he walked out of this hospital couldn’t come soon enough.
“Hello, Christian.”
He turned around to face the only person who made him doubt his plans, who made him want to rethink throwing himself back into action.
“Georgia.” Something physical happened to him when he saw her. It was similar to the rush he felt when he was returning enemy fire or the first time he parachuted out of a plane. His blood surged, his heart pounded in his chest. His reaction to her was so strong that he knew it wasn’t normal. It was maddening. He missed her. Seven days without seeing her, without hearing her sweet Southern accent, without feeling her touch on his ruined skin. He’d thought about her as much as he’d thought about his future this past week, and it confused the hell out of him. “Welcome back.”
“Thank you.” Her eyes touched his face before they traveled to his nightstand—to the big pink gift bag that sat on top of it. “What’s that?”
“Happy birthday.” His face burned with embarrassment. He had debated for three days about whether he should acknowledge it. She had only mentioned it to him once. He didn’t want her to think he remembered every word that passed her lips, but he did, and in the end he wanted to thank her for making his time at Jericho Medical less miserable.
“Christian.” Her eyes welled up with tears.
“None of that,” he ordered.
She nodded and tilted her head back to keep the tears from running down her face.
“It’s nothing much,” he tried to explain. He had General Lee bring a small cake and present for Georgia. He expected the man to question him, to ask about the woman who he’d almost walked in on kissing Christian. He’d never said a word about what he’d witnessed. He’d simply asked what flavor of cake he wanted.
“Come open your present.”
S
he shook her head. “I don’t want to.”
“Why not?”
“You’re making this hard.”
She didn’t have to elaborate. He knew exactly what she was talking about. He was making their inevitable separation that much harder.
“Open it anyway.” He crossed the room and grabbed her hand, which was a mistake, because whatever strange pull that existed between them intensified tenfold. Her small, warm hand felt right tucked into his.
He led her to the chair and let go of her hand as soon as possible so he could give her his gift. “I wasn’t sure what to get you, so I got you something I thought you could use.”
“A bathrobe.” She looked up at him. “Bunny slippers.” Her smile lit up the room. “Bubble bath. A book!”
“It’s to help you rest.” He looked away from her. He hadn’t bought a present for anybody since his parents died. Seeing how happy she looked caused a lump to form in his chest. It made him want to press his lips to her smile and drink in some of her happiness. “You need to rest more.”
“How did you know I loved art?” She lifted the coffee-table book and gently stroked the glossy pages.
“I didn’t. I had to take an elective in college and the only one they had to fit in my schedule was Women in Art Through the Ages. My professor wrote the forward to this book and I thought you might like it.”
“I love it,” she whispered. “This is the best present I’ve ever gotten.”
“It can’t be.”
She nodded. “It is. My father wasn’t one of those flashy preachers. We only had what we needed, never more. And any extra money we had went directly to the needy. I admired that about him. He believed in what he preached, but he thought most art was scandalous. Unless it was of flowers or fields or Jesus, we weren’t allow to see it. When other girls were sneaking off to meet their boyfriends I was sneaking off to go to the library so I could look at art books. Thank you, Christian.” She hugged the book to her chest. “I will keep this forever.”
He had to clench his hands into fists to keep from pulling her out of that chair and kissing her. They couldn’t do that anymore. The last time had been too close of a call. Plus they were friends. This crazy attraction was only because they were stuck in the confines of the hospital. In the real world they might not have given each other another look.
“How are you feeling? You look much better,” he said, to take his mind off those thoughts. Her color had returned to the pretty shade of honey it was when they’d first met. Her cheeks were fuller. She was always beautiful, but now that she was well rested he had a hard time tearing his eyes away from her.
“I feel fine. Mrs. Sheppard keeps feeding me. At first I felt bad about her going through all the trouble but she says it makes her happy to have somebody to cook for again. I think she gets lonely, too.”
Too? He focused on that word. Georgia was lonely. He knew how it felt to be lonely even though he spent half his time trying to deny what he felt.
“I gained five pounds this week.” She blushed adorably.
“You could stand to gain a little more.”
“That’s what every woman wants to hear from a man. I do believe you are getting smoother, sir.” They smiled at each other for a moment. “My week was good and well needed, but tonight was hard. I had to leave Abby with Mrs. Sheppard again after a week of having her to myself. When I handed her over she looked at me as though I had betrayed her. It was almost as hard as having to leave her for the first time.”
“What do you dream about, Georgia? If you didn’t have this job and all your bills to worry about, what kind of life would you live?”
He had taken her by surprise. She blinked at him. “I don’t know. I never thought about it.”
“Think about it now.”
“I’d marry a rich old man who was too old to bother me. Tell my boss off. Quit my job and spend all day with my baby.”
“What else?”
“I would bake again. I haven’t had time since I left home but I used to love it. I would teach Abby how.”
“What else?”
“I would take my mama away from my father. Maybe send her on a big vacation around the world. She’s always wanted to go to Florence, Italy.”
“What about for yourself? What would you do that is purely selfish?”
She shut her eyes and thought for a minute. Her pouty lips curled into a dreamy smile. “Lobster. A big two-pound lobster with melted butter, corn on the cob and maybe some steamers. Or scallops and a baked potato with tons of sour cream and butter. And for dessert, blueberry pie with a big scoop of vanilla ice cream.”
Out of all the dreams in the world, that was the one she chose for herself. It made him smile. The nearly blissful expression on her face made him harden. She would be a good wife to some man. To him...
That thought was unwelcome. He didn’t love her. He wasn’t really sure he was capable of such a feeling, but he knew he couldn’t go off to war and leave her behind. She would be a distraction. He wouldn’t be able to concentrate knowing she was at home waiting for him.
“That sounds almost naughty.”
“It is. I had lobster only once in my life. One of the wealthy parishioners invited us to a lobster bake at his beach house. My father said such decadence was sinful, but that lobster was just about the best thing I have ever tasted.” She opened her eyes and looked at him. “You’re making me want things I can never have.”
She could have them. She could be some man’s wife. She could spend more time with her baby. She could have lobster again. Her dreams weren’t so big. She just had to reach out and take them.
“It’s not so bad to dream sometimes, Georgia.”
“I guess not.” She stood. He did, as well. “Thank you for this, Christian. For everything.”
“You didn’t have any cake.” It was foolish to want to keep her there any longer. As the minutes ticked by he was finding it harder and harder to keep his hands to himself.
“Save it for me.” She placed her gift bag on the floor and reached up to hug him. “I should be getting back to work.” She wrapped her arms around his middle and rested her head against his chest. He had missed the feel of her against him. “Good God, you’re tall.”
He sat on his bed so that they were eye to eye, chest to chest. Her neat little body was tucked between his legs. “Is that better?”
“No,” she breathed.
He brushed his lips across hers. “I think it is.”
She groaned his name. “You’re not supposed to do this to me.”
“I can’t help it.” He captured her lips in a kiss, not like the ones they had shared before. There was no sweetness in his kiss. Only need. She responded so quickly, gripping the back of his head, holding his face to hers. Her mouth tasted good. Like mint mixed with tea. He could taste her all night. Thankfully she seemed to let him.
This time, unlike all the other times, he couldn’t be respectful. He couldn’t control the way his hands wandered her body. He grabbed her behind, cupped the firm flesh in his hands and squeezed. She reacted to it. She kissed him harder, pulled him closer, rubbed her breasts against him. He could feel her hard nipples through the thin material of her scrubs. It was too much. He grasped her breast, rubbing his thumb over the hard little point.
She gasped and looked up at him.
“I’m sorry, Georgia. I’m sorry,” he panted. “I lost control.”
“No, I liked it. I like the way that feels.”
She hesitated for a moment, but then she took his hand and slid it beneath her shirt and placed it on her naked breast. It filled his hand. He rolled her nipple between his fingers, watching the look of ecstasy that crossed her face. His erection pushed against his pants, begging for freedom. She aroused him like no other woman had. He had to be inside of her.
His kissed the column of her throat down to the top of her chest while he stroked her breast.
He had to see her naked. He had to have her beneath him and on top of him and every way he’d imagined since they’d first met. It was too much. She’d finally broken him.
“I need to be with you, Georgia. I need to. I can’t stop myself anymore.”
“Okay.”
“Okay?” He pulled his lips away from her to look into her eyes. He never dreamed she would agree so quickly.
“Yes. But not here.”
“No.” He removed his hand from her breast. It couldn’t be here. He wanted to make love to her in a real bed, in a nice place where they didn’t have to leave for hours. “I’m going to Afghanistan soon after I leave here. I have a few days in between. We could spend them together.”
She shook her head. “Just once, Christian. We can only be together once.”
He nodded, understanding her reasoning. If it was more than once it would be nearly impossible for him to walk away.
He stroked his hands down her back, unable to break their connection for even one moment. “You should say no. I don’t deserve you. You shouldn’t give me your body.”
“Why not?”
“I’m not as good as you think. I’ve done bad things in my life.”
“As a soldier?” She ran her fingers through his hair. “I don’t like war, but surely God won’t blame you for what you did in the name of your country.”
“No, it’s worse than that.”
“Tell me.” She ran her slim fingers along the curve of his mangled ear. She looked so understanding, so patient, so ready to hear his confession.
He swallowed hard. He never shared what he had done with anyone. “It happened when I was stationed in Japan.”
He told her the whole story, about Miko, about his friends, about how he didn’t do all that he could have to help an innocent girl.
She didn’t say anything for a long time after he finished. She’d been raped and ended up pregnant. She should hate him, because in the end he was just as guilty as his friends.
Jericho (A Redemption Novel) Page 13