“I can’t explain the actions of my husband. There is no explanation.”
“Then maybe you can explain yourself. You let him throw her away. You let her struggle. You let her bring this child into the world alone. What kind of mother are you? How can you look at yourself in the mirror knowing what she went through?”
“I can’t!” Her eyes filled with tears. “I can’t. I can’t even look at her without feeling ashamed. That’s why I’m here with you and not with her. But you don’t know what it was like living there with Abraham Williams. You don’t know what it’s like to see the love of your life turn into an unfeeling stone of a man who was so depressed sometimes he couldn’t get out of bed. Abel was his boy. His pride. They were close, and when he died so did most of my husband.”
She drew a deep breath, and continued, “So did the church and the town. Oakdale is a dying place. It has been going ever since my son left this earth, but when Robert came to town he made my husband feel something. You think I would resent the fact that he couldn’t find it in him to bond with his other children instead of a stranger, but when somebody you love is in such a deep, dark place like that you’ll do anything to pull them out. So I let it be when Robert started coming over for dinner and sitting in Abel’s place. I let it be when Abraham started helping Robert pay for school, because it made him feel good. I let it be when I noticed Robert’s eyes starting to follow Georgia around, because I thought they might get married one day and make my husband happy. And I let it be when Abraham threw Georgia out because I knew that once he chose Robert over her that there was nothing left for her with us. I could have begged him to let her stay. I could have threatened to go with her, but in the end I knew that it would harm Georgia more than any good it would do.”
“What kind of bullshit thinking is that?”
“She was the strongest of all my children. And the smartest. If anybody could get out, if anybody could make something of themselves, it was her. I could have gone to the police, but what do you say to the chief when the victim’s own father calls her a liar? When the father is the pastor who has more power than the mayor. Georgia needed to go. It killed me to let her go, but I had to. She’s so much more than she would have been if she stayed.”
“So why are you here now, Mama?” Georgia came up behind her mother.
“I needed to see for myself that you were happy. Your sister said you were, but I needed to see you.” She took Georgia’s face in her hands. “You are happy. I can tell. I can tell just by the way you look at your husband. You’re very much in love with him.”
“I am.”
“Then I’m not sorry for letting you go. I’m sorry for what happened to you. I’m sorry I couldn’t help you more. I’m sorry I was such a horrible mother to you all after Abel died, but I’m not sorry I let you go. You deserved a better life than what we had planned out for you. You deserved better than us.”
“Okay, Mama.” She looked at her mother for a long moment. “Breakfast is ready. I made about a pound of bacon. It’s maple glazed and just about the best thing I’ve ever eaten.”
“Wait a minute,” Christian said, bewildered. “After all of that, that’s all you have to say?”
“No.” She shook her head. “I guess not. What took you so long to come see me? You left Daddy weeks ago.”
“I was scared to face you. Scared you wouldn’t be happy.”
“You weren’t scared I would hate you?”
“No. I don’t think you can hate, but if you did I would have deserved it and accepted it.”
“Okay.” She nodded and looked at Christian. “I just didn’t want to hear another apology. I wanted to hear a why. I’m tired of being angry. I just want to move on. We’ve got this new baby coming and I don’t want him or Abby growing up with us stuck in the past.”
“What?” He took a step toward her but then stopped. His mind was reeling.
“I’m having your baby, Captain.” She closed the distance between them and set her lips on his. “Thank you for giving him to me and thank you for not batting a lash while I have been eating like a pig this past week.” She took Abby from him and kissed her curls. “Don’t you look gorgeous this morning? Come on, baby. Let’s get some food in you.”
CHAPTER 28
Time heals all wounds. Georgia thought about that statement as she talked to her sister on the phone two months later. She wished that was true. It wasn’t true for everybody. It wasn’t true for her, but time did help. Time did ease some pain. She rubbed her belly as her sister talked about her own pregnancy and how she had only started to show in her final months.
Georgia wasn’t so lucky. Her belly was round and stuck out beneath her shirts already, and she was only entering her fourth month. But Christian didn’t seem to mind. He seemed to love it, talking to his unborn child every night before they went to sleep. He was so happy about becoming a father. Again.
She thought her pregnancy with a child of his own blood might change the way he felt about Abby, or at least the way he treated her, but there was no change. Abby loved her daddy and Christian couldn’t get enough of her.
“You think you could come to my house next weekend, Georgia? All this unpacking business when I’m about to pop is quite annoying. But Miles really likes Charleston and I’ll be closer to you, so it won’t be bad. Mama said she would come, too. Miles said I should just stop being fussy and let him hire some people to unpack for us, but I can’t. I don’t want strangers touching my underthings.”
“Carolina, they...” she began but stopped herself, knowing she would be wasting her breath trying to explain that to her sister. “I’ll be there.”
Things between her and Carolina was surprisingly wonderful. It was so nice to see her sister as an adult, preparing for motherhood, being a wife. She had loved Carolina as a child because she was her little sister and only friend, but now she liked Carolina as an adult because she was adorable and flighty and happy all the time.
Things with her brothers had not gone as easily, and she wasn’t sure why. She didn’t blame them for what had happened to her, but they blamed themselves, it seemed. Eli still could barely look her in the eye. Josiah apologized every time he saw her and Gideon was away, overseas in Germany serving his country. He hadn’t spoken to any of them since the day of their father’s heart attack. If she could change one thing, she would change that.
In the end her mother had been right. Georgia had needed to leave Oakdale. She wouldn’t have had the life she wanted if she had stayed.
Christian walked into the kitchen with Abby in his arms. She was dressed more beautifully than normal. Her father was taking her to work with him today. He loved to show her off. The people at Howard and Helga’s had really been kind to them since Christian had gone back. Christian could no longer say he was without family or friends. Now he had more of them than he could count.
He buried his face in her neck and kissed her there, moving his lips up her throat until she lost all train of thought and moaned.
“Georgia?” Her sister’s voice rang through the phone. “Are you okay?”
“I’m feeling a little woozy. I’m going to have to call you back later.”
She disconnected from her sister and wrapped her arms around her husband. “What’s the deal with you kissing me like that when I’m on the phone? You know I go all kinds of crazy when you kiss me like that.”
“I know. I wanted you to pay attention to me.”
“Yeah!” Abby said.
“You going to work with Daddy today?” She grabbed Abby’s hand and pressed it to her mouth. “They’re going to spoil you rotten.”
“They are. I’m only going in for a little while. We’ll be back by lunch.” He rubbed her belly and kissed her forehead. “I want you to take a nap while I’m gone. Just relax. No cleaning or gardening or cooking. Just grow the baby.�
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“Okay. Take tomorrow off and grow the baby with me. I miss you since you’ve been going in every day.”
“I can’t tomorrow,” he said, looking guilty. “We’re meeting with some potential employers who are interested in hiring some of our men. It’s going to be a while before the plant is open, so it’s important that I meet with these people. We need to place as many servicemen in jobs as we can.”
“I know.” She kissed his mouth. “But I still miss you.”
“Friday. I’ll take off on Friday.”
“Thank you.” She smiled at him. “Now hurry up and go so you can get back. You are taking us out to dinner tonight.”
“Really?” He grinned at her. He loved to take her places. Sometimes she felt spoiled, but she knew that was important to him. He wanted to take care of her. “What are you craving?”
“Cheeseburgers with extra cheese and nachos with lots of jalapenos and butter-pecan ice cream on a waffle cone.”
His smile widened. “Okay.” He kissed her nose, her cheeks, then her mouth. “I’m going to stuff you so full you won’t want to move. Then I’m going to love you all night. Because I love you. I love you, Georgia. Do you know that?”
“Yes.” Her insides warmed deliciously. “I know it. You never say it, but I know you love me.”
“From the moment I opened my eyes in Jericho and saw you.”
“You asked me to kill you.”
“Yes, but you brought me back to life and I love you for it.”
“Go to work,” she ordered, feeling ridiculously close to tears. “I’ll see you later.” She kissed Abby and Christian once more before she pushed him away.
“I’m going.” He gave her belly a quick rub and left the house.
Georgia knew she was supposed to be relaxing. She had been a little more tired with this pregnancy. This baby was a little bigger, according to her doctor. He was taking a little more out of her, but she couldn’t rest. She was still feeling tingly from Christian’s words.
She pulled out the flour and all her baking supplies and prepared to make him the Mississippi mud brownies he loved so much. All she needed was more butter. She grabbed her handbag and stepped out the kitchen door to head to the little convenience store a few blocks away.
“Georgia.” She heard a male voice call her name and smiled, assuming it was her neighbor, Tim. Christian had apologized to him and since then they had become friendly, but when she looked up it wasn’t Tim. It was the last person she had ever wanted to see.
Robert.
She backed away from him and turned, unable to think. All her body told her to do was get away. She ran back into her house, but he ran after her, slamming his body into the door as she was trying to close it.
The force of the blow sent her reeling backward. She landed against the counter, hitting her side so hard it took her breath away.
“I don’t want to hurt you,” he said as he walked into her home and stood over her. “I just want to talk to you.”
“Get out!” she screamed.
“No.” He crouched in front of her, pushing his face too close to hers. It had only been two years since she had seen him last, since he had lied to her family, to her father, and claimed that she had tried to seduce him, tried to trap him into being the father of her unborn child.
He hadn’t changed much. He looked a little older. He was in his thirties now, and his face had lost that handsome boyish charm that it used to contain. Mostly because he was sporting a black eye and his nose was crooked. “I need you to stop this.”
“Get out of my house.” She pushed herself away from him, scrambling to her feet. She would never feel beneath him again. She would never let him take anything from her again.
“You have to stop this.” He followed her closely, trying to corner her. His eyes looked different, a little unfocused, but his jaw was determined. He had come here for a reason, but she had no inclination to find out what that was.
“If my husband finds you here he’ll kill you.”
“He left. On his way to work. It’s far away, Georgia. It takes forty minutes to get there this time of day.”
“How do you know that?” She swallowed. She had to get away from him, but she didn’t want him to know how scared she was. She didn’t want him to see her fear. She had lived in fear after he had hurt her the first time. Fear that he would find her alone, fear that he would force himself on her again, and then after her father had turned her away, she lived in fear that she wouldn’t be able to feed her baby; she feared living in solitude forever.
Robert had too much power over her for all these years. She refused to let him take any more.
“I followed him. I needed to get you alone. He’s a big man, and I really don’t want any problems.”
“Then go.” She reached behind her on the counter, feeling for a knife or fork or something to keep him away from her.
“I just want to talk to you.”
“Talk, damn it. Then get the hell out of my house.”
“Georgia.” His eyes widened a bit as if he was shocked by her language. “What has happened to you?”
“I’m calling the cops.” She reached for the phone but he wrenched it from her hand.
“I didn’t mean for things to happen the way they did. Your father wanted me for your sister, but I wanted you. I was going to marry you. I loved you.”
“You raped me!”
“You wanted it. You took a walk with me. You came into that shed with me.”
“You asked me to. I trusted you. My father loved you like a son. I never thought you would hurt me.”
“I didn’t mean to hurt you. I just wanted you.”
“And then you lied about it. About me. You said I was a seductress. You called me a whore.”
“I didn’t mean that and I’m sorry for that, but what did you expect me to do? I loved your father more than my own. Your family was the only thing I had. I couldn’t lose them.”
“But you were okay with them losing me.”
“Your life is fine. You married a rich man. You live in a big house. You got everything you ever wanted. You should be grateful.”
She closed her hand and slapped him as hard as she could manage. “My life was not fine. I was pregnant and homeless and alone because you raped me. I was not fine.”
“Stop saying that word,” he hissed. “That’s not what I did. We had sex.”
“You ripped my clothes. You forced me!”
He slapped her this time. Twice. On her cheek and across her mouth. She tasted blood on her tongue. Panic beat in her chest, but so did anger.
She was mad as hell.
“You’re ruining my life!” he spat at her. “You have got to stop telling people that I did that to you. I lost my job because of you. My boss said I was a man he couldn’t trust around his daughter. A rock was thrown through my window. My tires were slashed. My friends are gone. Look at my face!” He pointed to his eye. “Josiah did this to me. In the middle of the supermarket. It took two people to pull him off. He told me I had to leave town or he was going to kill me. I have no place else to go. Oakdale has been my home for the past fifteen years.”
“And it was my home for twenty-one, but you never seemed to care about that,” she yelled back at him, too angry to be scared of the consequences.
“Your father won’t see me anymore! He banned me from the house, from the church. The whole town has convicted me. I can’t take it, Georgia. You’ve got to go back and tell them you lied. I need Abraham. They beat me, you know. My parents beat me for everything I did. For no reason sometimes. I didn’t deserve that, but your father took me in and it stopped. He was the only one who loved me. You’ve got to tell them I didn’t do that to you.”
“I won’t! You did do that to me. You hurt
me!”
“You will or you won’t see the last of me.” He turned away from her for a moment, pacing nervously. “That baby you had is mine. I have rights. I can take her from you. I’ll make it so you have to let me see her all the time.”
“You can’t,” she said, feeling panic rise in her chest. “They don’t give babies to rapists.”
“Who’s a rapist? You didn’t go to the police. I wasn’t charged with a crime. I’m just a man who had his child hidden from him. You think a judge won’t believe that?”
“I know it.” She would kill him herself before she let that happen. “You’re nothing but a fraud. A fake. You’ll never get her.”
“Maybe not, but a court case could take years, and you’ll see me at every hearing. I’ll be around you, hassling you, in your space, in your head until you give me what I want.”
“No.” She wasn’t sure of many things in her life, but that much she was sure of. Robert would never touch Abby. She would die before it came to that.
“Then I’ll take her. I’ll take her and run away with her and you’ll never see her again. She looks like me. I’ve seen her. I’ve seen her with your husband. He likes to take her to the park when he gets home from work. You like to shop at the farm stand on weekends. I know everything about your life, Georgia. I’ve been watching you.”
“You’re crazy!” She didn’t know why she was shocked to hear what he’d been doing, but she was. She had felt so safe here. This was her home, her sanctuary, and he had been watching her and Christian and their family. She felt violated again. She felt dirty. “Why can’t you leave me alone?”
“Because you ruined my life! I can’t leave you alone until I get it back.”
“You did this to yourself. You’re spoiled and selfish and you deserve this. You think I won’t call the police? You think I’ll just let you haunt me? You think my husband will?”
He gripped her by the shoulders, digging his fingers into her skin. “I’ll kill him.”
His eyes had grown wilder, his face more determined. He was serious. “You’re insane.”
Jericho (A Redemption Novel) Page 28