“Can I help you?” I young male sales associate asked as we headed straight to the clear glass case glittering with engagement rings.
“We’re looking for a ring,” Rory said, leaning his elbows on the glass as he surveyed the rings. I settled next to him, Gage on my other side as we scanned the goods.
“Wonderful,” the man said, his eyes darting over the three of us. He pointed between Rory and me. “Grooms?” he asked then pointed at Gage. “Best man?”
I pressed my lips together to contain my laugh.
Gage couldn’t hold his back, but then he nodded. “Yup,” he said, motioning to Rory. “He’s the high-maintenance one,” he said. “He needs a big rock to know he’s loved.”
Rory gaped at him. “Like there is a damn thing wrong with that?”
I snorted at the shocked look on the guy’s face—like he was suddenly wondering if the three of us would start brawling right there in his place of business.
I waved them off.
“I’m proposing to my…” I tilted my head, never having put a label on Jeannine before.
“Girlfriend tonight,” I finally finished.
“Oh,” he said. “Oh,” he continued with a laugh.
“Still don’t think I’m high-maintenance,” Rory said, shrugging.
“Well, anything catching your eye?” The guy asked, smiling at Rory’s feigned offense.
I glanced over the array of diamonds, some big and simple, some encrusted with smaller diamonds, and more. The case was stacked with rings, and yet I wasn’t sure which one she would like.
“I don’t know,” I said.
“What kind of jewelry does she like?” he asked.
“I…I don’t know,” I said, racking my brain. She didn’t wear much, which made me lean toward a simpler route.
“Um,” the man said. “That’s all right. Do you know if she prefers a certain cut?”
I swallowed hard, hating that I didn’t know the answer. We hadn’t spoken about these types of things.
Ever. We’d been so focused on the baby…
“Don’t complicate it,” Gage said, almost a snarl. He tapped my chest, forcing me to look at him. “Just check them out, and see which one you think would look best on her finger.”
“Right,” Rory added, cutting a glare at the salesman.
It wasn’t the guy’s fault. He had no way of knowing that I was lacking in certain knowledge when it came to Nine. Everything between us had been a fast, frantic frenzy.
Maybe I should’ve asked her.
Maybe I should’ve paid better attention.
Maybe I was an idiot about to get shot the fuck down.
“Trust me,” Gage said, and I shook off the doubt creeping into my blood.
I nodded, slowly walking the line of the case. Clearing my head of all thoughts except the future I wanted to have with Jeannine.
Waking up to her in the morning, worshiping her at night.
Chasing her and Katherine around the house.
The guys and their families around our table for holidays.
Jeannine opening more restaurants.
Me winning more championships.
Until we both decided we’d reached our dreams enough and retired. Together.
“This one,” I said, pointing to a simple yet elegant single stone diamond on a platinum band.
“You’re sure?” The man asked, and all three of us snapped our heads to him. “Excellent choice,” he said quickly. “I’ll wrap it up for you.”
“Thanks.”
Gage clapped me on the back as the guy gathered the ring into a box and headed to the register. “Good job, man.”
“You do have taste,” Rory said, looking prouder of me than when I assisted him in scoring the winning shot against Ontario two years ago.
I rolled my eyes. “Right,” I said. “Now I just have to figure out what to say.”
“You’ll figure it out,” Gage said. “Just like you did today.”
I nodded, handing the sales guy my card. He gave me a blue bag after I signed.
The guys followed me out of the store, each of us slipping on our shades as we noticed the paparazzi across the street.
“Fuck,” I hissed, and Rory casually took the bag from my hand.
“Until you’re ready to go public,” he said, smirking. “Let them think I bought Paige another piece.”
“Thanks, man.”
“Of course,” he said, then glanced around. “Now can we track down the beer?”
Beers turned into a three-hour pool and burger fest, and I hadn’t realized how much I needed the escape until the guys were saying goodbye and I was heading home.
They helped distract me from myself, from overthinking what I was about to do.
I gripped the steering wheel, terrified of letting go as I pulled into the garage.
Once I did, I’d ask Jeannine the most important question I’d ever asked anyone before in my life.
Breathe.
I sucked in a breath, and let go.
Walked into the house, the ring box tucked safely into my pocket.
“Nine?” I called through the house and was instantly met with the harshest shush I’d ever received.
Two seconds later Jeannine rounded the corner, skidding to a stop in the kitchen with her hands raised. “I just got her down,” she snapped.
Oh fuck.
She had a bad day.
Her hair was in a wild knot on the top of her head, her shirt stained with what could only be Katherine-spit-up, and the creases in the corners of her eyes were etched in a permeant grimace.
“I’m sorry,” I whispered, going to lean against the island. “You okay?” I asked even though I knew it was a dumb question.
“No, I’m so far from okay.” Her tone was half-angry, half-desperate, her blue eyes dulled to the point of exhaustion.
And it was that hint of desperation that made me realize…this was the first time I’d left her alone all day with the baby. No one here to help, she’d had to handle everything solo.
Fuck.
It didn’t matter that was the way she normally preferred things.
I hadn’t even called to see if she needed anything.
I’m a dick.
“Kat cried the entire day. Like, didn’t even stop when she was eating. She cried around my nipple!”
“Is she pooping okay?” I asked, wishing I could find the solution.
Nine rolled her eyes at me. “Yes,” she said like it was the dumbest question in the world. “Of course, I checked that. And she wasn’t hungry. She wasn’t tired. She didn’t have a fever. She was just pissed off…all day.”
And now she was the one who was pissed.
Perfect time to propose.
My internal voice had a real fucking funny sense of humor.
“And you were gone,” she continued. “And left your pick-up game shit everywhere. I almost tripped while holding Kat.”
I furrowed my brow. “It was just my bag—”
“You said you’d be gone an hour,” she cut me off. “What happened? You couldn’t call?”
I raised my hands, my mouth opening and closing a few times. “I went out with the guys for…we lost track of time.”
“Yeah,” she said, huffing. “Thanks for that.”
“Hey,” I snapped, unable to keep the adrenaline from my veins. “I get you had a shit day. And I’m sorry I wasn’t here for it. I’m here now so tell me how to help you.”
Tears glittered in her eyes, but they weren’t sad tears. They were shaped from anger and sleep deprivation and all things I couldn’t even begin to understand. “You always need me to tell you what to do. Fuck, can’t you just do it without me asking?”
I cocked a brow at her, feeling her words like a blow. “Not when I have no clue what you want.”
“Help, Warren.” She hissed. “I wanted help. Like four hours ago when she’d been on a three-hour cry-fest with no breaks.”
I took a breath
to calm the anger threatening to rise up my throat. “I said I was sorry. I’m here now, Nine. Why don’t you go take a bath? Or go over to Bailey’s. Do something for yourself. I’ll take over for the rest of the night.”
She rolled her eyes. “You don’t get it, do you?”
“Clearly I don’t.”
“You weren’t here. Because you were with your Sharks.”
“What?” My head snapped back like she’d slapped me. “You love Rory and Gage.”
“Yeah,” she snorted. “And how much do you love the team, huh? So much that you don’t want to be here, right?”
“What the absolute hell?”
“Admit it, Warren. Just do us both a favor and finally admit that we’ll always come second.” Now her eyes shifted from irrational anger to frigid fear.
“You can’t believe that—”
“What am I supposed to believe?”
“That I’ve been here every second of every day since I found out you were carrying my child.”
“And now that she’s here? What are we?”
“Everything!” I couldn’t contain my shout.
A wail ripped through the house, searing each of my nerve-endings.
“Oh, fucking perfect!” She yelled back. “Why’d you even bother coming home?”
I gaped at her, my chest feeling like she’d taken a fucking sledgehammer to it.
“Nine,” I said, the air sucked from my lungs. “Tell me what to do to fix this.” I knew she was over-tired, knew she’d been bottling something up for far too long and it was unleashed on me, but holy fucking hell I didn’t know what to do.
“Leave,” she hissed. “It’s what you want to do. It’s what you were always going to do.”
I stumbled back like she’d punched me.
Where was this coming from?
She swiped at her tears before spinning on her bare feet, and rushed to our room. Katherine quieted after a few moments.
She’d kicked me out.
She didn’t want me.
Want a life chained to a Shark.
One step back, then two, I made it to the garage, got in my SUV, and drove away.
Away from my home.
Away from my world.
Not having a fucking clue what had just happened, but feeling a hell of a lot like I’d just been part of a blast set to kill me.
Chapter 15
Jeannine
The picture.
It was the picture’s fault.
Sometimes I wished my cell didn’t have internet.
Normally, it was a godsend while I fed Katherine. I could catch up on the news or read food blogs while she ate.
But earlier…I’d seen a picture of Warren and some random puck bunny, her hands all over his chest.
And something inside me snapped.
The loving energy that had buzzed in my soul clamped down, draining me more than the lack of sleep I’d had the past few weeks.
“What?” Paige and Bailey asked over the phone as I explained to them.
“Hold on,” Bailey said. “Let me find the photo.”
“Same,” Paige said.
“Why does it matter?” I asked, rubbing my forehead while I held the phone to my ear. I’d called them in a panic after I’d gotten Katherine back down. After I came out of the bedroom and found the house empty.
He actually left.
I asked him to, but he actually left.
After a few seconds, I heard Paige sigh. “Oh, Nine,” she said.
“Um,” Bailey said.
“Right?” I sank into the kitchen nook’s chair. “His first moment of freedom today and he runs back to his old ways.” And despite being absolutely crushed, despite being horribly angry at myself for allowing myself to get hurt, I almost couldn’t blame him.
“We never defined…us,” I continued. Never had the big talk on what we meant to each other, but I swore I’d known. Felt it in my bones like truth. I’d been so wrong. “But I never expected him to do that. To go back to the playboy life without even giving me a heads up about it.”
“No, Nine,” Paige said. “You don’t understand. He didn’t.”
“Agreed,” Bailey said.
“How can you two say that? Look at the way she’s touching him!”
“I’m coming over,” Bailey said and hung up before I could argue.
“I have a meeting in an hour,” Paige said. “But listen to me, okay? Please? I know you’re exhausted and in such a vulnerable place right now. A situation you’ve never been in before, but he didn’t do anything. I know for a fact.”
“How?” Betraying hope snaked into my veins, warming me, calming me.
“One, because Rory told me exactly what they did today, and I know when he’s lying.” She grew quiet for a moment like she was paying attention to something on the other end of the line. “And two, that’s Rory and Gage in the corner of the photo. Rory wore that shirt weeks ago after a pick-up game. I’m pretty sure he even mentioned the chick when he got home. Something about the bunnies coming out early this year or something. Wanted to warn me about it after all the trouble we had with Linda.”
“Oh, holy hell,” I said, my head sinking into my free hand. “He didn’t rush out to his old life today?”
“No, Nine, he really didn’t.”
“What was he doing?”
“I can’t tell you that. I can only tell you that he wasn’t anywhere near a bunny, and I honestly don’t think this picture proves anything more than the paparazzi drumming up gossip on a slow news day.”
“Shit. Shit. Shit.”
“It’s okay,” she said. “It happens to each of us. The first time you deal with this kind of b.s., it’s tough. You didn’t do anything wrong.”
I went off on him.
Like mad-woman send me to the crazy house off on him.
I’d spewed every dark fear I’d ever had about loving him, right in his face. Accused him of wanting to leave us, just like I was terrified he’d always do.
Hockey first. Baby second. Me last.
I heard a car door shut outside, and for half a second I hoped it was him, but a knock on the door told me otherwise. “Bailey’s here, Paige. I’ll call you later.” I sighed. “And thank you. Sorry for all the crazy.”
“You’re not crazy. And it will work out. I love you,” she said.
“Love you, too,” I said before hanging up.
I let Bailey inside, and she immediately hugged me before taking a seat across from me at the kitchen table.
“I’m such an idiot!” I snapped.
I needed to apologize to Warren. See if I could make him understand why I’d lost it.
“No, you’re not,” she said, setting her bag on the table. “This happens. This is what it’s like when you’re dating a Shark.”
“I don’t even know if we’re technically dating,” I said, pinching the bridge of my nose. “I’m so clueless about everything right now.” Being a mom was the hardest thing I’d ever done, and with all the worry and strain of adjusting to my new role, I felt absolutely uncertain about everything else. I doubt I could even cook my signature dish properly right now if someone asked me to.
“Then I think it’s time you go find out,” she said. “You have bottles pumped?”
“Yes,” I said. “Why?”
“Go find him.
“How?” I shook my head. “And where is Ethan?” I asked, noting the absence of the baby on her hip.
“Grammy has them both tonight.”
“Okay,” I said. “And why would Warren listen to me? I shouldn’t have reacted that way. I was just…the day was so long, and Kat cried the whole time, and I don’t think there could be one more drop of stress in my body right now, Bailey.” I sighed. “I blew up.”
“I know,” she said, her eyes sympathetic. “And it’s totally understandable. You’re going through one of the biggest phases in your life right now. You’re allowed mistakes.”
“This one feels huge.”
“He’ll understand. Just go talk to him.”
“Do you know where he went?”
“Gage headed to Phantom like two minutes before you called. Said Warren needed a drink.” Bailey glanced at the video monitor that showed a sleeping Katherine in our bedroom. “He’s likely blowing off the steam from the fight.”
“Yeah,” I said. “Or he’s talking to the guys about the best way to get rid of me.”
“Oh, stop it,” Bailey said. “He wouldn’t do that. It’s just a fight.”
“Is it?” I asked, shaking my head. “I lost my mind over nothing,” I said. “It was like I wasn’t even there. It was someone else. Some crazy, sleep and sex deprived woman. Not me.”
“Isn’t your time up?” She asked.
“Today.” I pinched the bridge of my nose. “We were supposed to be able to try again today.”
“See,” she said, smiling. “There you go. Go get him, take him up to the balcony, and fuck his brains out. All will be well.”
My eyes flew wide at her suggestion. “Who are you and what have you done with Bailey?”
She laughed. “Maybe your dirty-girl mission rubbed off on me.”
I chuckled, using the lightness to ease the worry in my chest. “What if I blew it? What if I lost him?”
She gripped my shoulders. “You didn’t. This is how life with a baby works. Craziness and passion and fights and making up. It’ll be okay. Just go get him.”
“Thank you,” I said, walking toward the door. “Seriously. I don’t know what I’d do without you and Paige.”
“Same.”
“There is pumped milk in the fridge and bottles in the top right cabinet,” I said, my hand on the knob. “But she shouldn’t wake up before I get back. We get back…” my voice trailed off as I wondered if he’d even want me to chase after him. Or if he needed his space.
“We’ll be fine here. Take your time. Go.”
“I love you,” I said and wished it could be as easy to say the words to Warren.
“Love you, too. Go!”
I shut the door behind me and tried not to speed as I drove toward Phantom.
Fifteen minutes later and my hands were shaking as I entered the club.
Winger Page 14