Today however, it was light out and the city still looked spectacular but she no longer looked at it through the rose colored haze of childhood. Her last trip to this city had broken not just her heart but her spirit as well and she had felt too damaged to return. The city would no longer look as it once had. The magic was gone, the lights not as bright and the enchantment replaced by the disillusionment of reality. And it was all because of him. Her relationship with Joshua had left scars that even she was only now beginning to recognize. She realized at that moment that it was Josh, just too good looking, untrustworthy, lying cheating Joshua who had not only ruined her love of the city but who also caused her to flee the city never to return.
No more, she told herself. She would no longer hide from her past the way she had for the past few years. In fact she would embrace it with the same open embrace she reserved for her grandparents when they were living and her closest friends. Shellie never returned to Chicago for fear of running into Joshua and his beautiful wife with whom she could never compete, if she were inclined to compete, that is. But now she would be ready if by some cruel twist of fate, she would run into Josh and Jenny. Please don’t let her be pregnant, was the only request she put out into the universe.
As prepared as she was to face her painful past, she was equally unprepared to make a decision about Noel. She turned her attention to the road ahead, sneaking sideways glances at her traveling companion as though some decision would just occur to her. Unable to avoid the heat emanating from him any longer she decided it was time to do something bold, something unexpected, something her confidence hadn’t allowed her to do since Joshua. She stared at him. Turning not just her head, but her entire body to allow her a full on proper look at this man who seemed to have a burning desire to have her.
He looked at her several times for just a few seconds at a time, making sure to keep his eyes on the road. She noticed that his forehead, cheeks and neck all turned an unusual shade of red under her heavy gaze. She enjoyed the feelings that stirred within her at making him blush uncomfortably. His response seemed to embolden her and she stared more blatantly, taking in every inch visible as he sat behind the steering wheel. She began with his wavy honey colored hair that always seemed unkempt despite his shiny, polished exterior. She felt her own cheeks heat remembering the way she had so boldly wrapped his locks around her fingers and thrust into his mouth. His forehead was smooth and flawless, giving him the appearance of a man younger than his 35 years. She thought he probably had never worried about much of anything due to the lack of visible lines of life carving a path through the middle of his forehead or around his sparkling eyes and plump kissable mouth.
Her focus returned to his eyes that were now sparkling the green of Indian meadows, which appeared even greener due to the near platinum eyelashes framing them. Good god he’s gorgeous, she thought, biting her lip as she took in his high sculpted cheekbones and strong jawline. Thinking it best for her sanity and her raging libido, she skipped over his perfectly pink lips and focused on the angles of his face. His jawline was sharp, made more so by the way he clenched them under her gaze.
“You know, you’ll ruin your perfect teeth by clinching your jaws so hard.” She smiled, knowing that her burning gaze was making him uneasy.
Noel glanced at her briefly, growling.
She decided to give him a break and turn her eyes to his strong but perfectly put together hands. She was certain that he regularly visited or had a professional manicurist come to him to keep his nails short and far too shiny. But beyond his obsession for having perfect hands, she could see large masculine hands that weren’t averse to a little hard work. She could see his big hands wrist deep in the dirt of her flower gardens, black soil under his nails as he kneaded the dirt and forced her roses to obey his will. There were other things she could see him doing with those hands, but every time she turned her mind to more carnal thoughts she immediately leapt several steps ahead to their inevitable break up, her inevitable heartbreak and most likely his inevitable infidelity. But those thoughts would help her get through the lonely nights that never seemed to end.
Taking in the bicep that shifted under his t-shirt, she released an involuntary moan. Feeling her cheeks and neck flush, she spun around and refocused on their descent into the city.
CHAPTER THIRTEEN
After just two hours of shopping Noel couldn’t shake the feeling that the last leg of their trip had caused some sort of shift in Shellie’s attitude toward him. Sure she looked bored to tears following him around from one high end store to the next, but the strange way she was taking stock of him as a man and of his features made him think he was melting the protective icebergs she put up around her heart. The way she sized him up as they pulled onto Michigan Avenue still had his blood boiling. The hunger and appreciation he’d seen in her eyes made his body hard and aching in all the wrong places, or the right places depending on what she planned to do about it. She hadn’t said much since they entered the stores, nothing more than a few grunts and advice on mixing patterns which had him thinking that maybe he’d only imagined her blatantly sexual appreciation of his features.
Inside the underwear department she lingered far behind him as the beautiful young personal shopper greeted them. He had to stop and wait just to introduce her, in case she decided she wanted to make a purchase. He knew what she was doing and it frustrated him more than it should have. He knew that Shellie took one look at the young redhead with endlessly long legs, large breasts bursting from her Donna Karan silk blouse and small waist and figured that she was the kind of woman Noel should date. She’s exactly the type you normally date, his conscious poked at him. So he clenched his teeth and waited for her to haplessly bump into them. She looked up at him dazed, obviously still thinking she was off in her own little world. “And this,” he grabbed her by the shoulders and turned her to face Annette, the personal shopper, “is Shellie. She’ll be with me all day today so make sure if she needs anything she gets it.”
Annette nodded, confused and disappointed but unwilling to sacrifice a big commission for anyone, no matter how handsome he was.
“You didn’t really need to do that Noel. I’m not buying anything today. I’m just along for the ride,” she whispered as the leggy redhead continued to grab various cotton boxer briefs and silk boxers, no doubt imagining removing them from his well sculpted frame.
“I’ve never known any woman to spend an entire day shopping and not pick up one thing for herself.” It was true. He knew Shellie would come up with a million reasons not to buy anything, but he knew somewhere in this building had to be something she wanted. Something other than him, of course.
“Well you don’t know me, Noel.” She crossed her arms and continued to walk fingering several brightly colored and patterned Brazilian boxer briefs.
He watched her wander through the different displays and designers wondering if she was thinking about him and how well he filled out just about any type of underwear. He knew the way she stopped in her tracks at the sight of him in nothing more than his underwear this morning that she had a deep appreciation of his physique. He worked hard to keep his body in shape but not as hard as many of his executive counterparts who had to spend hours in the gym to avoid the middle age pouch common among men of a certain age. He lifted weights a few times each week but got most of his exercise through cycling, tennis and basketball. He knew his muscles alone weren’t enough to shatter her defenses, but it was a start and he’d need all the help he could get.
When it appeared Shellie had her fill of the underwear department Noel made his way to her, figuring it wouldn’t do to ignore her after she agreed to spend the day with him. “See anything you like?”
She shrugged, “Overpriced underwear isn’t really my thing.” And it was true. The only reason she spent so much time looking over the underwear was because she couldn’t believe anyone would pay $50 for one pair of boxers.
“Nothing is too good for the family jewels
,” he joked, lightly bumping his shoulder against hers.
“For this price you should be housing actual jewels!”
“Yes Shellie but you aren’t buying them. Think of them as a free gift for you.” His face lit up as her face shifted to recognize what he was saying.
“No underwear would be the gift for me,” she said before slapping both hands over her mouth. Shit I can’t believe I said that aloud, she yelled into her brain.
“Duly noted, but I can’t go to work without underwear, now can I?”
She reached across Noel and held up a pair of silk cream colored boxer briefs from a nearby display. “For,” she looked at the price tag, “$80 these underwear should at least be able to put together a power point presentation for you!”
Noel laughed loudly, holding his midsection with one hand and leaning on her shoulder with the other. “That was good Shellie. I knew you’d make this trip fun.”
“That’s me, a barrel of laughs.”
“Now what do you say, you come with me to try a few on to make sure they fit nice and snug?”
She nodded in the direction of Annette who waited eagerly near the large dressing rooms designated for those who used the store’s personal shoppers. “Looks like you’ve already got a willing audience waiting.”
He clenched his teeth so he wouldn’t offend her and turned on his million watt smile that often got him out of trouble. And into a little bit of trouble too, if he were being honest. “Well there’s only one person I want to watch, and apparently she isn’t interested.”
She rolled her eyes but he could see the gears turning in her head. One of the things he was beginning to love about her was how her all of her thoughts were displayed on her face for all to see. Love? It couldn’t be, I couldn’t love her just yet. I’ve never really loved anyone so how would I know? He shook those thoughts off and set about convincing her. “You said you would help me and this would be a tremendous help to me. Please?”
##
What passed for a fitting room in this place was larger than Shellie’s first apartment. She sat on a plush gold velvet sofa conveniently situated in the center of the room on daffodil colored carpet. Straight in front of her was a big thick drape where Noel was on the other side finally putting his clothes back on.
She was sure she would get some type of medal for restraint after watching this beautiful Adonis creature try on about twenty-five pairs of tight fitting, butt hugging, package enhancing handcrafted underwear. Each time he pushed the curtain aside and strutted up to her and back like the world’s tastiest runway model, she dug her nails into her palms and bit the inside of her jaw to avoid jumping him on this plush carpeting. It surely wouldn’t leave rug burns, she thought. He must have tried on just about every type of brief in the store, and goodness did they all look good on him. It took all the willpower she possessed to tell him he looked “good” or “ok” each time his eager face pleaded with her for something more than abject nonchalance.
She didn’t want to hurt his feelings but she needed to steel herself against his charm and those damned eyes that saw more than she wanted them to, so she did what anyone of her generation would do. She whipped out her phone and began texting Alexis. It was rude but at least she wouldn’t just sit there waiting for him to show her his gorgeous body over and over draped in exotic underpants.
“Anything important?” He was standing mere inches from her, but at least he was fully clothed.
She looked down at her phone, “Nope just telling Alexis to call off the search.”
“I hope I didn’t pull you away from anything important.” He wanted her to be here because she wanted to be, not because she felt obligated.
She shook her head. “Not really. She stopped by and was worried when I didn’t answer.”
“Must be nice.”
She stood up and their eyes locked for longer than they should have. Was that sincerity in his eyes? Surely everyone Noel ever knew always wondered where he was, what he was doing and with whom he was doing it…didn’t they? Shaking away thoughts that there could be more to him than good looks and a big bank account she asked, “Where do we pay?”
Annette, who had been no more than a few feet from Noel since they entered the store came closer and looked down at Shellie. “You don’t pay now you pay when he’s all done.” Shellie’s shoulders sank and she realized that even this shop girl was a better fit into Noel’s life than she would be. Obviously she was his type, she was young and beautiful and confident, but more than that she knew how things in his world worked.
“I-I, I didn’t know,” she stammered.
“Obviously,” the girl said, condescension dripping from each syllable.
Counting to ten in her head Shellie eyed the woman with an intense hatred she reserved for oil company executives and whale fishermen. She wanted to tell off this woman, this little girl who thought she could treat her badly because of how she looked. She wanted to unleash a string of profanities that would make her grandpa proud but she knew it would be pointless. She knew that if she ever let her walls down to let Noel in that this would be her life. She would spend date nights and shopping excursions and mundane walks in the park being sized up by every size 2 in sight. They would all look at her and wonder how it was that her plain beauty and misshapen body could appeal to him. They would wonder if she was the source of his designer clothes and expensive cars or if she knew some special sex trick that kept him happy every night. No matter how in love with her he was she would always wait for him to leave her for someone young and shiny and new and gorgeous. And that was something she was unwilling to do so she did what she did best. She walked away.
When Noel finally caught up with her near the handbags, shoes and ties she was done allowing a few tears to spill over her embarrassment. “Why did you leave?”
“Isn’t it obvious Noel? I don’t belong here.”
“In this store? Shellie don’t be ridiculous.”
She eyed him incredulously. “Me? I’m the ridiculous one? Did you bring me here to show me that I would never fit into your world Noel because newsflash, I already knew that!” She took a deep breath and began again, “Any fantasies I may have had about what we could be have been thoroughly dashed!” She turned to walk away again but this time he caught her wrist before she could go far.
“Stop running from me, woman!” He twirled her around until she was pressed up against his chest, looking up at him with pain in her eyes.
“I am not running from you, I am just letting you shop by yourself for a while.” She was calm now, so calm that even she was impressed by her cool tone.
“It’s a wonder you have time to protest KitchenMart the way you run the minute things get a little tough.” He knew it was a low blow but he was pissed at Annette for being a bitch and at Shellie for letting her to get to her.
The gasp she released startled her. “How dare,” she began but couldn’t find the words. “You don’t know anything.” She couldn’t find an appropriate response and decided that he was right. She yanked her wrist out of his hand and pushed him until several feet stood between them. “Then let me run,” she said mockingly before storming off.
##
When Shellie finally made another appearance Noel was looking at dress shirts. He had already chosen several shirts in varying shades of blue and was now deciding between rose and lavender.
“Is this from the Hilfiger Easter egg collection,” she asked jokingly.
Noel stared at her reflection in the mirror silently. He was furious with her for running away again and he wasn’t quite ready to forgive her, so rather than give her the attitude she desperately deserved, he said nothing. Holding the lavender shirt up to him for a few seconds, he examined it intently before moving on to the rose one.
“Jeez, tough room.” She knew he was angry and for some reason that amplified her anger. He was supposed to be proving to her that he wasn’t who she thought he was and now he’s mad, for what? Because she was ri
ght, they were too different to explore their burgeoning feelings. But there was still plenty of day ahead so she played the role of peacemaker. “Go with the lavender, it makes your eyes burn greener,” she sighed in resignation.
He hid a smile rising up inside of him. “Thanks.”
She gave him a weak smile in the mirror before turning away. Her posture was defeated but she was determined to show him that he couldn’t break her.
He handed the rose shirt to Annette and ordered her to find a similar one with a white collar and cuffs. She took it, nodding obediently and quietly walked away to replace it.
“Here,” Shellie handed him several different colored shirts. “These are all good colors for you. I tried to find Annette but I couldn’t. So, consider me your Deputy Personal Shopper.” The smile she revealed this time was bigger, but failed to reach her eyes.
He looked down at the colors, which all reminded him of her and those dresses she used to wear a few weeks ago. Had it really only been weeks? It felt like a lifetime, he thought. “Thanks Shellie. Really.”
She waved her hands in dismissal. “No problem. I’m over there,” she pointed to a gold velvet sofa identical to the one on the first floor, “if you need me.”
Noel watched her solemnly walk over to the sofa and take a seat at the far right end. He felt like shit for giving her the cold shoulder. He knew taking her to a place like this would force her insecurities to boil to the surface and he was sure, this store and Annette were doing absolutely nothing to convince Shellie he wasn’t like the other men in her life. He took her kind gesture with him behind the curtain, vowing to show her the real Noel before the city was in their rear view mirror. He had an idea how to get her to let her defenses down but first he’d have to get her involved in this shopping trip. She would have to laugh and have fun before she would let herself to see him instead of who she assumed he was.
His thoughts were interrupted by a knock at the fitting room wall. “I’m fine Annette. Like I told you, if I need you I’ll call you.” He was tired of her obvious flirtations and attempt at undercutting Shellie and if she wasn’t such a great personal shopper he would have let her go hours ago.
Conflict of Interest Page 16