Conflict of Interest

by N. D. Jackson

  “Well she’s doing even better than that by the look of things around here. You should be very proud Shellie.” He meant it. He could see her passion for her work and he found that endearing. And sexy as hell.

  “I am. I would’ve been heartbroken if it wasn’t here today.” She stared off into space for a moment before turning her attention back to her lunch companion. “So now that you’ve gotten me out of your system…,” she trailed off, uncertain how to finish that statement.

  He sighed, taking a long contemplative gulp of plum wine. “Is that what you think? That just whet my appetite for more of you,” he smiled, leaning back against the plush booth.

  “Oh hell, you’re gonna be the death of me Noel Hampton.” She dropped her forehead onto the hand resting on the tabletop dramatically.

  He laughed again. “I don’t know if I’ll ever get enough of you Shellie.”

  ##

  “That really was the best steamed bun I have ever eaten.” He patted his stomach when Shellie returned to their table. She went to say her good bye to Mama Lim and he watched as she chatted, her face lighting up as the woman talked.

  “I knew you’d say that,” she chuckled. “So shoes?”

  He nodded.

  “Aww…do we have to?”

  He laughed and took her hand in his lightly brushing a kiss against the back of her palm. “If you’re good I may even get you a pair of sexy stilettos.”

  She looked up at him mockingly. “Just what a girl wants. Shoes that are impossibly high to walk in that cause blisters and back problems.” She batted her eyelashes at him, clutching her hands to her heart.

  “Who said anything about walking in them?”

  “You are incorrigible!”

  “Flattery will get you everywhere,” he whispered in her ear causing chills to travel down her body.

  She rolled her eyes playfully and pulled him forward. “Come on money bags, there are some fancy shoe stores a few blocks ahead. We can make your feet look extra purty and then hit the beach.”

  “What’s in it for me,” he asked enjoying the easy banter that now felt so familiar.

  She tapped her index finger to her plump lips, still red from the spicy sauce she had with her steamed bun. “I believe there was talk of stilettos,” she smiled up at him and disappeared into the shoe store.

  ##

  The beach was one of Shellie’s favorite locations in the city, a place that allowed her to put her problems where they sorely needed to be—in perspective. Even though it was just Lake Michigan, small compared to greater seas and oceans it was still a massive pool of water that made her feel as though her problems were small and insignificant in the grand scheme of things. The ebb and flow of the growing grey-green waves, for some reason, put her mind at ease. She felt a sense of calm and knew that whatever happened she would be alright. Even more surprising, she found that she was no longer put off by the playful and suggestive banter that freely flowed between her and Noel.

  After leaving the shoe store they walked two long city blocks to the beach in relative silence, each lost in their own thoughts of how much a day had changed their relationship, whatever that relationship was. Shellie took this quiet time to figure out how she truly felt about this situation, despite how unaffected and flirty she’d pretended to be since they left the department store.

  This was the time, she told herself, to stop letting her past define her and do what she wanted without overthinking every action for a change. If she could do that, she knew, that maybe there was hope for her and Noel after all. Stealing a few glances at him as they walked, occasionally holding hands or with his large arm draped over her shoulder, she had to wonder if he was as good as he seemed. He was generous, funny, intelligent, ambitious and oh so charming. But she couldn’t deny that her past had left its mark on her and where she would once swoon as his charming demeanor she now found that too much charm left her suspicious.

  Then there were the small gestures that forced her to look at him with different eyes. The way he rested his hand on the small of her back, seemingly guiding her across the street or around a mess on the sidewalk. Those gestures were the mark of a true gentleman, she knew that yet for every kind and chivalrous act she found herself comparing him to the pain of her past.

  “Penny for your thoughts?”

  She looked up at Noel as they neared the edge of the beach to find him smiling curiously at her. “What?”

  He chuckled. “Your brows and nose are all scrunched up,” he placed the tip of his index finger playfully on the tip of her nose, “and you looked very deep in thought.”

  “So they’re only worth a penny to you?” She smiled back.

  “That all depends,” his lids grew heavy.

  “On?”

  “On what you want me to give you.” He brushed a stray curl from her face. “For your thoughts,” he smiled devilishly wanting to take the bottom lip she constantly nibbled between his teeth and taste it.

  She felt her face begin to blush but decided that she could play this game without blinking first too. “In that case I’ll have to think of something I really, really want.” She bent down to remove her shoes and quickened her pace through the sand.

  When Noel caught up with her she was flirting with the water’s edge, getting close enough to take in the feel of wet sand between her toes but not close enough to let the rolling tide catch her. “There are a lot of people here today,” he mused looking at the groups of teenagers pretending to be grown up and the families with rainbow colored beach umbrellas, coolers filled with sandwiches and oversized beach bags filled with sunscreen and buckets for sand castles. He looked at the different groups of people gathered for a day at the beach and felt a yearning for a group of friends or family of his own.

  “Yeah well there aren’t a lot of days like this,” she responded with her arms spread wide and face turned skyward. She twirled, soaking up the cool lake breeze before turning to face him. “Most days like this are followed by nasty thunderstorms so natives know to get out while the gettin’ is good.”

  He reached for her hand gently. “Then let’s enjoy this while the getting is good,” he laughed.

  She took his hand and bumped him playfully with her hip. “Let’s go. But first,” she pointed at his feet. “You need to take off your shoes.”

  “You mean you don’t like my beach wear?”

  She crossed her arms over her chest. “Those are not beach wear, that’s gym wear and as you can see by all the bikini clad girls, we are not at the gym.”

  “Oh, fine,” he sighed as he kicked off his sneakers. “Happy now?”

  She laced her fingers through his hands, “Yes. Now we can walk.”

  “So,” Noel began, “do I have to wait for you to figure out what you ‘really really want’ or are you going to tell me what you were thinking about back there?”

  She thought for a moment squinting out towards the seemingly endless lake before she faced him. “I was thinking about you actually?”

  He fought the smile threatening his willpower. “Was I naked or clothed in these thoughts of yours?”

  She cut him an annoyed glance. “Both.” She said, sticking out her tongue.

  “Even better,” he nodded, fingering another curl that had broken free thanks to the windy lakefront. “So what did you decide?”

  “What makes you think I decided anything?” She had made a few decisions but he didn’t need to know that just yet.

  “You were thinking far too hard for a mere fantasy so you must’ve been thinking about whether or not you wanted to get to know me.”

  “It’s a little late for that don’t you think? I’d say we now know each other quite well.” She blushed at the thought.

  He shook his head, looking forward and shielding his eyes from the now inescapable sun. “Our bodies know each other very well, but we still have a lot to learn. If you’re interested, that is.”

  “I guess that’s true,” she conceded, realizing tha
t he was far more astute that she gave him credit for. Another intriguing surprise, she thought. “I decided that I would try to look at you for who you are, without comparing you to my exes. You aren’t them and it’s not fair for me to punish you for things you haven’t done. Yet.” That last bit was probably unnecessary and maybe a little cruel but she felt he needed to know that she didn’t fully trust him. Yet.

  He pulled her closer. “That’s all I’ve ever asked, Shellie. That wasn’t so hard was it?”

  She shook her head. “Well it wasn’t exactly easy.”

  He laughed loudly at that. He realized that he’d laughed more with Shellie today than he had in the last year and knew that it would be difficult to go back to a life without her. “Come here,” he pulled her tighter and lowered his lips to hers. As much as he wanted to devour her mouth right here, right now, he went for sweet and simple. He pulled away slightly and looked at her eyes reflecting pools of gold as the sun faded behind fast moving clouds. “You’re pretty special Shellie, you know that?”

  She pulled away nervously, unable to accept the compliment. “You don’t have to say that.” Before he could respond, she skipped a few feet ahead before turning back to him with a smile. “Come on slow poke,” she yelled over her shoulder and walked until her calves her covered by the lake. “Ow!” She screamed and bent over in pain.

  Noel was by her side in seconds. “Are you okay? What happened?” Pulling her by the waist out of the water, he helped her sit and searched her body for signs of injury. “Where are you hurt, Shellie?”

  She pointed, “My foot, I think I stepped on a rock.” She bit back tears, feeling foolish.

  He lifted her leg to examine her foot. “The good news is you didn’t step on a rock,” he looked at her wishing he could comfort her. “The bad news is you stepped on a piece of glass.”

  She dropped her head in her hands and let just a few tears drop before embarrassment set in. “Just when I think I’m over it my compulsive klutziness rears its ugly head.” She laughed but it came more as a scoff. She looked up at Noel and could see the worry on his face. “Well don’t just peek under my dress Noel, rip it out!”

  He did as she instructed but the glass was large and he knew she was in far more pain than she was willing to admit. Impressed that she merely groaned Noel grabbed her hands to pull her up. “Can you walk?”

  She pressed her weight onto the injured foot and winced immediately. Steadying herself using his body, she paused for a moment and attempted to walk again. This time she led with the uninjured foot but the glass had gone into the ball of her foot and she screamed out once more and grabbed him to keep her balance.

  “I’ll carry you. Give me your shoes.”

  She looked up at him with fear in her eyes. She shook her head, “No, you cannot carry me. I’ll walk, just go slowly.” She sat back in the sand for a moment to gather her bearings and think about the long walk to the car. The parking garage had to be at least two miles from the beach and she would not make it with the slice to her foot and in sandals, no less. “Ok,” she looked up at him hesitantly. “I’m ready.”

  He pulled her up once more and wrapped his arms around her waist. “You don’t have to pretend it doesn’t hurt, I saw it.” He leaned in and kissed her forehead, taking in the way her natural scent combined with the smell of the lake.

  Circling one hand around his waist for support, she began the long trek out of the sand and onto solid ground again. “It hurts like hell but thinking of that won’t get us to the car any quicker.”

  “I could always carry you…”

  “I’m fine, I just,” she trailed off, obviously tired from the effort.

  Before he could tease her about her independence even in the face of injury, he noticed their surroundings had gotten noticeably darker. The once blinding sun was now securely hidden by grey clouds waltzing quickly across the sky.

  “Rain,” she spat out about two seconds before the clouds opened up and dropped buckets of water on them and the other beach goers. In a moment the crowded beach turned into a mob of screaming and charging swimsuit clad men, women and children. The frantic scramble frightened Shellie because the rain was pouring down so steady and so heavy that she could barely see, which meant she couldn’t be seen. After nearly being trampled by the group of teenagers fleeing the rain, she turned to Noel and wrapped her arms tightly around his waist burying her face in his chest for comfort. She relaxed a little when he circled his arms around her and pulled her in tight.

  Stroking her hair to calm her, Noel knew she was right. They wouldn’t make it back to the car, not in this rain with her blood streaming from her foot. He could feel her shudder and as much as he wanted to believe it was from his closeness, he was sure she was softly crying. “Shellie, everything will be fine,” he whispered in her ear, wondering if she could even hear him over the torrential downpour.

  She looked up at him with teary eyes. “I know. It’s just this. It’s the story of my life.” She noted his confused stare and continued. “Injured, caught in the rain and looking a mess.” She forced a smile.

  He leaned down to her and whispered, “I don’t know Shellie. I’m really starting to like the wet dress no bra look.”

  ##

  The rained continued to fall in sheets but Noel was relieved they were able to find a pharmacy nearby to clean and bandage Shellie’s foot. He was still worried about the pain she tried to hide but after a fifteen minute lecture about over the counter painkillers, he knew she would be fine. So with her foot bandaged and a pair of new pharmacy-chic cloth shoes to cover her foot, they sought shelter in a nearby Thrift Store until the rain stopped. Shopping at secondhand stores was not something Noel did, but she wanted to go in and he wanted to make her happy.

  Pushing through the heavily finger-smudged revolving doors into the dimly lit store, Noel kept his distance from the racks of clothes. First standing near the register in an attempt to shield his nose from the musky scent of used clothes, he backed up until he was inches from several shelves of board games. As much as he hated being there he couldn’t help but smile watching Shellie bounce—well limp—from rack to rack, her injury all but forgotten in her haste.

  Still damp from the rain, he noticed her shiver while thumbing through a rack of used blazers. He wanted to tell her that she didn’t need to buy used clothes that he would make sure she had only the best new things around. He knew though that she would hear those words and somehow believe that he thought he was better than her. But he really hated to see her going through every item of clothing in a second hand shop just to find a good bargain. She held a purple blazer the color of merlot, up to her chin and checked herself in the mirror. Despite its status as used Noel thought the color made her hair and eyes an alluring golden shade. When she caught him staring at her through the mirror on a wooden beam she turned to get his opinion.

  When his mouth slowly shifted into a smile he noticed her cheeks redden and she draped the blazer over her free arm and continued to forage for bargains. He stood smiling as she got lost in a large wood paneled bin full of scarves. She pulled up an earth toned paisley scarf, appraising it as it dangled from her fingers before wrapping it around her shoulders in one swift decisive move. He laughed when she squealed at the sight of a yellow and cream scarf adorned with daffodils. He knew that she couldn’t live long without the bright colors that made her, well her. Even though Noel hadn’t known her that long he suspected that the change in her wardrobe was especially difficult for her. He wanted to talk to her about it, but he also didn’t want to ruin the good day they were having together. Especially in the dressing room.

  After losing sight of Shellie for a moment, he scanned the room for her. First looking to the large collection of used shoes against the back all—a thought that made him shudder—he moved on to the section of the small store with a sign that said Accessories hanging from the ceiling. There he spotted her slowly frizzing curls underneath an ashen grey newsboy hat. She twirled in
a circle, doing what he presumed was testing the hat’s fortitude against the brisk Chicago wind. His smile widened watching her face light up as she realized how great the cap looked on her mop of curls.

  The more he watched Shellie the more he realized that she was exactly what he needed and wanted in his life, despite her fears that they were too different. The way she loved life was contagious and he felt himself getting excited about little things like steamed pork buns and Sesame Street Band-Aids. Okay maybe not the Band-Aids but definitely about other things he normally took for granted. The way she dove right into these clothes as though they were the newest line from this season’s It designer made his heart swell. He thought of all the ways he’d changed so far, just from knowing her and grew excited about how much he would learn to love life with her as part of his.

  “Yoo hoo, earth to Noel,” Shellie was waving her hand in front of his face. He had a goofy look on his face but wherever he was it was certainly not here with her.

  Noel blinked a few times realizing that Shellie had left the accessory section and now stood right in front of him with a pile so high her face was barely visible. “Ah sorry about that Shellie, I was just thinking,-”

  Her shoulders visibly slumped. “You were just thinking about how you’d rather be anywhere but here, weren’t you?”

  The hurt she felt was clear for any idiot with eyes, any idiot like him. Of course that’s what she thought since he was standing at the front of the store with a look of palpable disgust on his face as though afraid he might catch something from the old clothes. He sighed heavily, hoping that she would accept his explanation, when he came up with a believable one. “No that’s not what I was wishing, smart ass.” He smiled down at her, grabbing some of the load from her hands. “I was thinking that I wish I had the zest for life that you seem to. A few minutes ago you were limping with a huge bloody cut on your foot and now you’re as happy as I’ve ever seen you traipsing through this second hand store. You’re amazing.” Did I say that aloud?