CHAPTER TWENTY
Stormy Monday mornings like these, when the sky was a melancholy shade of grey and opening up her vengeance on the people, flowers and concrete below, made Shellie grateful she lived in a small town like Mustang Prairie. Her drive to work would be slightly longer than the five minutes it usually took her but it would be short enough to thwart any frustration or road rage intent upon intruding on her day. The rain outside waging war on everything below it made her want to stay in bed rather than battle the wet beast. She didn’t look forward to the drive, no matter how short it was because today was Monday and she couldn’t park on the street in front of her office until after lunchtime. That meant she’d have to walk two blocks with buckets of rain and wind flying at her from all directions. It was already shaping up to be a bad day.
After their little argument over Sunday breakfast very few words passed between Shellie and Noel. She was furious and silently fumed while he sat smoldering behind his laptop for much of the afternoon and evening. Both of them were unwilling to give the proverbial inch so like the coward she knew she was, Shellie opted for flat out avoidance. She skipped lunch, choosing instead to snack on the slightly chilled remnants of their breakfast in her room in front of her trusty laptop. She answered emails from current and potential clients, set up meetings with several businesses across from the main buildings of the University looking for ways to entice the students off campus for pizza, sandwiches, booze and dorm accessories. Shellie had some great ideas she wanted to put into action and jotted down a few so she could prepare answers before the meeting. Since her business was finally picking up she felt an attack of conscience for what she was going to do to Noel’s business. And his career.
He deserves it, she tried to assuage her guilt. She didn’t believe the lies she told herself
Because she knew Noel and she knew that if he had known what KitchenMart was up to he wouldn’t be involved. Would he? Her mind just wouldn’t give her a break today. Even though he had basically come to the defense of KitchenMart and he didn’t seem all that surprised by what she’d shown him, she just didn’t think he could knowingly do that to tens of thousands of people. Then why was he so defensive and so sure you wouldn’t succeed? As much as she wanted to shut down the rational side of her brain right now, it would not be silenced. Every doubt she had was being thrown back in her face with the sting of reality.
Frustrated and tired by this morning’s train of thought but unable to stop it, she kicked off her blankets and grabbed her newly purchased bath salts and made her way to a hot replenishing bath.
An hour later Shellie emerged from her bath feeling refreshed physically and mentally but also very clearheaded. She knew tonight she would do everything she could, she would summon every ounce of courage and confidence buried deep within her to save Mustang Prairie and Paul and Jacques and Shirley, Alex and even Anda. She also knew, or at least had a very good feeling that, the memories she created over the last 30 days with Noel would be her only reminder of their time together. She sat on the edge of her bed with the robe hanging slightly open and sighed heavily. Her time with Noel was over. It had to be and she had to learn to accept it. The sooner she did that, the sooner things could go back to the way they were before she allowed herself to dream and hope again.
The persistent ringing of her alarm clock jarred her from her thoughts and she reached over to smack it as hard as she could, taking her anger out on the daisy shaped clock. She sank onto her bed and pulled the covers over her head. If I stay here under the blankets nothing has to change, she thought to herself knowing that everything had already changed. She knew what KitchenMart was up to and she had a feeling Noel knew too before breakfast. That thought had her reliving every moment they spent together for clues that he was everything she thought he was. Cold and calculating. Only concerned with business and making money. Dishonest, manipulative and far out of her league.
“Dammit!” She screamed into a nearby pillow more upset that she allowed herself to believe the one thing she always knew to be true. Men like Noel didn’t keep women like her. They would gladly take her to bed, maybe even give her a few good weeks or months to remember, just like Joshua had, but they never, ever made her a permanent fixture in their lives. She wanted Noel to be different. Hell, she convinced herself that he was different. Until today. From this moment forward she would have to view Noel through the same lens as Joshua and the others.
When her alarm sounded again, this time to ‘Cry Baby’ she screamed, “Fine, I’m up!” She marched to her closet and picked out a basic black outfit for work and a navy blue dress with off-white stripes around the neck and hemlines and an off-white belt cinched around the middle for the Council Meeting. Satisfied with her choices, she grabbed her work bags and shut the bedroom door behind her.
##
A vicious clap of thunder tore Noel from his restless sleep. Rubbing his fists against his eyes to focus his vision, he picked up his sleek mobile phone to check the time. Twenty minutes until the alarm sounded. He decided to get up anyway, having struggled to sleep until the sky was more grey than dark blue.
The day before had been a long one. Long and quiet. While Shellie spent most of the day in her room, Noel used the family room as a makeshift office, comparing his notes with Shellie’s research. To his surprise, she found far more evidence to back up her claims than he had. She was thorough and he was impressed. What the numbers told him however, made him sick. Worst of all was Shellie probably thought that those numbers were part of his plan all along. Especially all your talk of 7 year plans and career trajectories, Hampton. Even though his relationship with her was probably dead in the water he knew he had to do something to make this, whatever this was, right. But what could he possibly do?
Knowing Shellie had a big day and that she was probably still ignoring him, Noel quickly dressed and headed to his office. The first item on today’s agenda was confronting Rich. He’d set this whole project in motion, Noel was sure of it as he replayed their conversation in his head over and over, and he’d been avoiding his calls for weeks. Today he would get answers. Even if he didn’t want to hear them. He didn’t care what excuses Rich threw at him. There was only one reason for the numbers he’d stared at until he was certain they were staring back. Rich and the rest of the Executive Board never intended for him to be successful in Mustang Prairie. In fact they were banking on it. Too bad ‘cause Hampton men don’t fail, he thought triumphantly, reminded of the words his dad spoke when he was a child. Before every swim meet and baseball game his dad uttered those words with kindness in his eyes and he’d been right. Noel had never failed.
He pounded his fist on the steering wheel in frustration. He was frustrated that he’d been so easily duped at the prospect of succeeding ahead of schedule. He was frustrated that he was in business with men like Rich, considered them friends. Most of all though, he was frustrated by the fact that he’d failed the one man who always believed in him to be like Rich.
Ten minutes later noel was slamming down the phone in the solitude of his office. “Not in today,” he mumbled bitterly to himself. Of course Rich wasn’t in the office today of all days, when Noel so desperately needed answers. He picked up the phone again to summon Amelia to his office. She had always been a good source of office gossip in the past.
“Yes?” She entered his office with a quizzical look on her exhausted face. She’d never seen Noel look so haggard and she figured he must be working even harder than she was.
“Do you know where Rich is off to?”
She shrugged. “Haven’t a clue. Been too swamped here to worry about New York.” She had been busy. So busy that Tam was starting to complain and threatening to go back to New York where he would ‘never be alone’.
Noel eyed her carefully. Examining her eyes and body language for signs of deception.
“Why?”
“I need to talk to him. That’s all.” No need to make her worry until the time was right for worryin
g.
Amelia sat across from him, folding her arms over her chest and stared at him for longer than was comfortable with. Finally she leaned back in her seat, never taking her eyes off him and responded with a, “Mmmhmmm.”
He dug his fist into his eyes, hoping to clear his muddled thoughts. “It’s nothing. At least I think it is. Nothing, I mean.” His gaze rose to meet hers. “I won’t know for certain until I talk to Rich.” He sighed. The weight of his frustration pulling him down.
“Should I be worried?”
Staring down at his desk, Noel began to chew on his bottom lip, something Amelia had never seen him do before. No one had but Abby and his dad because he didn’t show his vulnerable side to anyone but them. “Yes. No. I really don’t know Amelia. Honest.” He raked his hands through his hair, grateful he’d skipped the product this morning. “When it’s time to worry, I’ll let you know. Okay?”
She stood and leaned over the desk to pat his hand gently. “I’ll see what I can find out Noel, alright? You’ve been good to me and I’ll help however I can.”
He flashed her a smile he didn’t quite feel but he was grateful for her loyalty and her effort. “Thanks Amelia you really are the best.”
“Don’t you forget it,” she playfully tossed over her shoulder before pushing through the glass doors of his office.
After watching Amelia saunter off, hopefully to return with something he could use, his thoughts inevitably returned to Shellie. Then to his father and back to Shellie again. The only people in his life he’d ever let down and he was slowly beginning to realize they were the two people who meant the most to him. With the clouds clearing slightly from his muddled mind, Noel knew what he had to do.
He would call his father and apologize for disappointing him and to get his advice about Shellie and KitchenMart. But first, he needed to start making things right with Shellie. Beginning with a phone call. What would you say to her, Hampton? He couldn’t think of anything to say so he settled on a simple text message.
##
Shellie please forgive me. We need to talk. About everything. Tonight? That was all his brief message said. It was short, cryptic and not at all satisfying. She was sure that after Noel looked at the data she compiled he would see that she had been right all along about his dear old KitchenMart. But his silence yesterday led her to another conclusion. He knew exactly what KitchenMart was up to and was complicit in it. It couldn’t be though, Noel isn’t like that, she pleaded with herself. But he didn’t even attempt to explain, she reminded herself. In fact he all but defended his company when all of the evidence pointed clearly to his guilt.
That’s right. He’d said nothing all day yesterday but now he wanted to talk. “Probably wants to gloat after the Council votes in favor of KitchenMart,” she said ruefully into her empty office. After his cold aloofness yesterday she was sure Noel, or his company would pull some dirty trick to undermine her efforts. There would be nothing she could do about it, she knew. So she sighed deeply and stared again at those nine words hauntingly backlit on her phone.
Shellie slumped over her desk confused and defeated, which only made her feel more despondent because the real fight hadn’t even begun yet. She knew in her heart that she would never, could never be more important to him than his precious career. That is if she was even important to him at all. No. She learned her lesson well with Joshua about assuming how a man truly felt in his heart. World changing orgasms were not an accurate way to gauge one’s emotions and no matter how good the orgasms were with Noel, she would not make the mistake of confusing it for more. For love.
She knew how she felt about Noel and about Mustang Prairie. Her feelings were not in question. What she should do about those feelings was another thing. Telling Noel was not an option. It couldn’t be. She couldn’t bear to look into his anguished jade eyes that were darkened by his discomfort and she would just die watching him tap dance around the fact that he didn’t, couldn’t and would never love her the way she loved him. She wouldn’t sit looking up at him blinking back tears and watch him try and let her down. She would keep it to herself for now and when the vote went her way he would go back to New York. Once he was gone she could take some time to forget Noel Hampton ever existed and get on with her life.
She stared once more at the message quietly taunting her from the backlit screen. “Oh hell!” she yelled into the empty echo of her office. “You want to talk? Fine we’ll talk!” she yelled again, this time into the phone hoping to convey her anger over the airwaves. She hit reply, typed her message and hit send.
It was done.
##
“You have to do what you think is right, son.” Harvey Hampton could hear the anguish in his son’s voice and wished more than anything he could ease that pain.
“I don’t know what that is yet.” Noel pleaded with his father. He called expecting a lecture on corporate greed and making money by ruining the lives and livelihoods of others, but his dad was nothing but kind and understanding. “I was hoping you’d serve up some of your sage advice for me,” he chuckled nervously.
That got a big hearty laugh out of Harvey for a good long while, something he and his son hadn’t shared in a long time. When he finally settled down releasing a few more chuckles, he began again. “The fact you called your old man means you already know what you have to do. You just want me to tell you so you can blame me when you start regretting your decision.”
He was right of course but Noel wasn’t going to tell him that. He sighed heavily. “But I’ve worked so hard for it all,” he stopped himself just short of the sin of whining. It was one thing he and his father shared, a loathing for whining.
“No argument here son,” he paused for effect and Noel knew one of his father’s famous questions was coming, “but have you been working hard towards the right goals?”
Noel released a giant sigh saying none of the many thoughts racing through his mind. He knew what his goals were but he couldn’t say in all honesty that those goals benefitted anyone but him and his company.
“I don’t mean to criticize you Noel, but if your friend,” he emphasized the word to let his son know that he knew there was more to the story than he was willing to reveal. “If your friend is correct and your company’s sole purpose there is to make money by failing then you should be asking yourself if you’re comfortable with that.”
“Of course not!” Noel raked his hands through his already disheveled waves. He couldn’t believe his dad would even question him on this.
“Then you need to tell her that, son.” Harvey hated hearing the distress in his son’s voice but he was proud Noel was finally questioning the work he did for KitchenMart.
His father’s soothing voice was supportive and Noel appreciated that he was willing to listen and offer advice despite his feelings about companies like KitchenMart. ‘Scourge on society,’ he often called them right before an argument erupted between them. He knew Harvey Hampton’s advice was spot on, it always was he hated to admit that. But that advice meant nothing if Shellie was unwilling to listen. “Dad it won’t matter to her.” His phone finally buzzed in his hand with a reply from Shellie. “OK” was all it said. There was no punctuation. No emoticons. No emotions anywhere just two lonely letters that gave him no clue as to what she was thinking. His heart sank. “She’s barely talking to me, dad.”
Harvey let out an understanding sigh. “Maybe that’s your problem son, you’re letting her do all the talking. It’s time she does some listening. She’s said plenty I’m sure, she is a woman after all. So now you talk to her and explain yourself and make her listen. If she can’t give you that then maybe you need to reexamine your feelings for her.”
Noel frowned into the phone perfectly aware his father couldn’t see the scowl marring his handsome features, which made the frown all the more satisfying. “Who said anything about feelings? I told you she’s just a friend.”
The loud guffaw that erupted on the other side of the phone made Noe
l blush in embarrassment. “That’s a good one son,” he chuckled, his laughter fading much slower than Noel’s patience would allow. “Look son I don’t want to interfere but you called me for advice so I’m just gonna be honest. You don’t have friends Noel. You have women you date and business connections.”
Noel opened his mouth, intending to interrupt in protest.
“Don’t deny it Noel, I’m not judging you. I’m just saying how I see things. My guess is that Abby is the only person you trust enough to talk to, now being the exception. So if you’re saying she’s a friend then she must be a hell of a lot more than that to you.”
He couldn’t deny the old man’s logic but he didn’t have to like it. It was true Noel didn’t consider friends a necessary part of his life and didn’t have any. But it was his choice and he didn’t regret it. Friend’s couldn’t be counted on in business because they would let you down to further their own goals. And women, well they had their own agendas. They wanted to be photographed in tabloids, mentioned in gossip rags and talked about by the most elite and richest people in the city. Some wanted his money but he was sure none wanted his heart. Except one, he thought hopefully. He sighed again, weary from a lack of sleep and too many hours at the office, but mostly he felt as though the whole mass of the universe was nestled comfortably atop his shoulders. “She is dad. Or she was I guess but I screwed it up big time. I messed it all up and I’ve lost her.”
“I wouldn’t be so sure son. Women in love can be quite forgiving, if given a good enough reason.”
“Yeah,” he muttered absently having no idea if she liked him at all at this point to even hope for love. If she did she should at least be open to listening, shouldn’t she? Like you listened yesterday? Unwilling to be taunted by his conscious he shook off thoughts of love. “Thanks Dad. You’ve given me a lot to think about and I appreciate it. Really.” It shocked Noel to realize that he meant it. Although he hadn’t felt connected with his father for a long time, he enjoyed easily they fell into easy conversation. Well not so easy, he smiled to himself.
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