Peter opened the car door for her, and she slipped inside. Her hands felt clammy as she realized she hadn’t been in the car with a man who wasn’t her dad, brother or husband in over a decade.
“Where we going?” Peter’s voice was smooth, soft, and Pamela willed herself to settle down.
“A & J’s.”
“On Court Street?”
“Yes.”
Pamela buckled her seat belt, then gripped the straps of her bag and purse as Peter pulled out of the parking lot and onto the main road. She cleared her throat. “Thanks so much for giving me a ride.”
“My pleasure. I’m glad to see you outside of the college. Wouldn’t mind to do it again under different circumstances.”
Pamela smiled, but words didn’t form on her lips. Part of her wouldn’t mind getting to know the professor better. But what would the girls think? Her family? Jack? She blinked. It didn’t matter what Jack thought.
Peter pulled into A & J’s parking lot and turned off the car. Shifting toward her, he placed his hand on top of hers. Pamela didn’t feel the electricity she remembered with Jack; instead dread and guilt washed over her. “I’d really like to take you to dinner sometime, Pamela.”
Pamela opened her mouth to respond. She wanted to say yes. Of course. But the words didn’t form. The sounds of bells filled the car, and Pamela grabbed her phone from her purse. The school’s number showed up on the screen, and she lifted her pointer finger to Peter as she answered the call.
“Hi. Is this Mrs. Isaacs?”
Though Pamela had never changed her married name, renewed guilt washed over her hearing the woman call her missus while she sat in the car with another man who’d just asked her on a date. “Yes. This is she.”
“I’m sorry to have to call you, Mrs. Isaacs. This is Karen Williams, the school nurse. I’m afraid Emmy has lice, and we’ll need you to come pick her up if at all possible.”
Pamela’s mouth dropped at the woman’s words. She’d never dealt with lice, but she knew a whole lot of cleaning lay ahead of her. Closing her eyes, she sighed when she thought of all the homework she had due the next day. “Okay. I’ll be right over.”
She pushed End on the phone and turned toward Peter. “Thank you for the ride, and I really appreciate the offer. We’ll have to talk about it later, though. I have to pick up my daughter from school.”
Concern lifted his brows. “Is everything all right? Do you need my help?”
Pamela wrinkled her nose as she imagined his reaction if she asked him to help her delouse her home. Shaking her head, she said, “No, but thanks anyway.”
She got out of the car and walked into the shop. By the time she’d paid for the repairs and walked back outside, Peter had gone. Weariness and frustration welled inside her. She didn’t have the energy for lice, and she most certainly didn’t have time for it.
Aggravated, she yanked her phone out of her bag. Jack Isaacs wants to meet his girls. He wants to be back in their lives. Play husband and daddy. Well, now sounds like as good a time as any. She called his number. Her heart skipped a beat when she heard his greeting.
“Hello?” he said the word again.
“Jack, it’s Pamela.”
“Pamela.”
The way he said her name, like a kiss pressed against her lips, sent shivers down her spine. Lifting her chin, she forced herself to remember the purpose of the call. “You want to see your girls?”
“Yes.”
“Then come on over in an hour. You can help me out tonight.”
“Really?”
He sounded excited, and Pamela knew her lips were curled into a Cheshire cat grin. “Just don’t wear anything nice.”
Chapter 7
Jack had just gotten off the phone with his mother when Pamela called. His mom hadn’t felt well for quite some time, and he worried about her. Especially when her multiple sclerosis flared up, which it had. His fourteen-year-old sister, Kari, took care of their mom most of the time, while his younger brother, Todd, threw all his concern and energy into his running. Jack’s dad still barely talked to him, and Jack prayed their relationship would one day be mended.
He rubbed his hands together as he stepped onto the cabin’s porch. The cabin had been a bit of an eyesore when he and Pamela had first married. Now it was fixed up with a swing on the front porch and red curtains in the windows. God, give me the words to say.
Conjuring every ounce of courage he could muster, he knocked. He spied Emma peeking through the window on his left. When she saw him, she dropped the curtain, and he heard her run away from the door.
Several minutes passed, and Jack found himself thankful for the warm temperature. He couldn’t blame Emma for running away. In her eyes, he was a complete stranger. Guilt gnawed at him, threatened to fill him with self-contempt. God, help me not to start beating myself up. I can’t take back the past. I have only the present and future.
The door opened, and Jack looked down at his younger daughter. She was beautiful. Long red hair pulled up in a ponytail. Freckles splattering her nose and cheeks. Sparkling blue eyes. Dimples in her cheeks. Jack bit back the urge to scoop her up in his arms and squeeze her until he’d gotten his fill. Instead, he nodded hesitantly. “Hi, Emmy.”
She cocked her head and squinted at him. “Are you my dad?”
“I am.”
She motioned for him to come inside. “Then come on. Mom’s got a bunch of stuff for you to do.”
Jack bit back a chuckle as he followed her inside. Pamela walked around the corner, pushing the vacuum with one hand and holding rags and liquid cleaner in the other. Her hair was pulled back with a bandanna, and she wore an old pair of overalls that he remembered from when they dated. She was breathtaking.
A flicker of relief shone through her gaze, but it was soon covered with disdain. Why had she called him if she didn’t want him here? To clean obviously, but the place looked well kept already.
She looked from Emma to Emmy. “Girls, this is Jack Isaacs. He’s your father.”
Emma peeked around the corner, then shuffled toward her mother. Emmy walked up to him and shook his hand. “I’m really glad to meet you. I’ve wanted a dad for a long time.”
Jack swallowed the knot in his throat. “And I’ve wanted to be your dad a long time, too.”
Pamela cleared her throat. “Emma, shake your dad’s hand.”
Emma’s eyes widened, and she gripped the vacuum cleaner’s handle. Jack lifted his hands. “It’s okay. You can wait until you feel comfortable.”
Pamela placed the cleaner and the rags on the couch, then rubbed her hands together. “Well, Jack, you wanted back in our lives. Today seems the perfect day.”
He bit his bottom lip, feeling nervous and excited. “What’s up?”
She pointed to their younger daughter. “Emmy has lice. I have some lice shampoo in the bathroom, and you get to help me make sure everything is bug-free.”
“Actually, mayonnaise is better.”
Pamela scowled. “What?”
“Mayonnaise suffocates the lice and nits, and it’s much better for her hair.”
Pamela squinted. “How would you know that?”
Jack recalled the many times he’d treated his hair at the shelter. One day he would share all that with Pamela, but for now they needed to get started. He pointed to the kitchen. “Do you have mayonnaise?”
“Yes.”
“Why don’t you put some in both the girls’ hair, and I’ll strip the beds and—”
“I want you to do my hair.” Emmy grabbed his hand in hers and swung it back and forth.
Jack’s heart flipped with excitement.
Pamela pointed to Emma. “We’ll take care of the beds.” She looked at Emmy. “Take him into the kitchen and show him the mayonnaise.”<
br />
While he rubbed mayonnaise into her hair, Emmy talked to him about homework, her friends, her favorite toys, even the stray dog that roamed around the school at times. He drank in each word, cherished each story.
Every few minutes, he spied Emma and Pamela taking sheets and clothes to the main house. He caught Emma watching him at one point while she stuffed animals into garbage bags. She quickly looked away, and he wished his older daughter would talk with him. But he’d have to give her time.
“Our school’s fall festival is on Friday. You wanna come?” asked Emmy.
Before Jack could respond, Emma raced into the room and yelled, “He can’t come!”
“Why not?” whined Emmy.
Emma balled her fists. Pamela walked out of a bedroom. “What’s wrong?” She put her hand on Emma’s shoulder. “Why are you upset?”
Emmy pointed to her own chest. “I want Dad to go to the fall festival.”
“No.” The word slipped through Emma’s gritted teeth.
Pamela glanced at him, her eyebrows raised.
God, what do I say? Of course I’ll go to the festival. But Emma?
Pamela knelt down in front of Emma. “If Emmy would like your dad to go to the festival, it will be okay. He can take her to the different activities while you and I work the game for your class.”
Emma didn’t look at him, and her jaw set in a firm line as she said, “Grandma can take Emmy.”
Jack’s heart broke. Maybe he should just walk out. In all the scenarios he had dreamed up when he met the girls, he hadn’t considered one of them embracing him with open arms and the other loathing him from the bottom of her heart.
“No.” Emmy grabbed his hand. “I want my daddy.”
Daddy? The last time he’d heard “Da-Da” had been from Emma’s mouth, and she’d been just under a year old. Now to hear the word Daddy on Emmy’s lips thrilled him to his core.
Pamela placed her hands on her hips. “That’s enough.” She pointed down the hall. “Both of you go to your room so I can talk with Jack.”
“But—” the girls said in unison.
“No buts. Go.”
Emma raced to the bedroom, but Emmy grabbed him in a quick hug. Overwhelmed with thanksgiving that he had one ally in the house, Jack roped his arms around her and, ignoring the strong mayonnaise odor, kissed her forehead.
“I’m glad you’re here, Daddy.”
“Me, too.”
He released her, and she raced to the bedroom to join her sister. He stood up and gazed at Pamela. “I can’t believe she’s taken to me so quickly.”
Pamela folded her arms in front of her chest. “She’s always been like that. Bubbly. Outgoing. Ready to give anyone a chance. Forgiving.”
Jack touched his wife’s arm. “I hope someday you’ll be able to forgive me.”
She stepped back. “It’s not that easy, Jack.” Unfolding her arms, she pointed down the hall. “You saw Emma. Not everyone can just pretend that eight years apart was nothing.”
He wanted to nestle Emma close, promise her that he’d never leave her again, that she could count on him to be the daddy she’d deserved from the beginning.
Pamela closed her eyes and wiped her hand down her face. “I shouldn’t have called you. I hadn’t prepared the girls. I was—”
Jack covered the space between them and wrapped his arms around Pamela. She didn’t move and, for a moment, he held his breath, waiting for her to push him away. Instead, she leaned closer. Her arms remained planted at her sides, but she allowed his embrace. “Thank you for calling me, Pamela.”
She pulled away, and he felt the emptiness in his arms all the way to his toes. “You better go home.”
“Let me vacuum the furniture and the floors first. You still have to put mayonnaise in Emma’s hair.”
She shook her head, but Jack continued. “And wash the gunk out of their hair and put the sheets back on the beds. The least I can do is vacuum.”
She worried the inside of her mouth, then finally consented. “Okay.”
Jack vacuumed the furniture and the floor then cleaned the vacuum filter. He took out the trash. While Pamela put the sheets back on the beds, he cleaned the dishes. By the time he’d finished, he heard the three of them in the girls’ room saying prayers. He smiled when Emmy thanked God for bringing him back into their lives.
When Pamela walked out of the bedroom, Jack picked up his keys from the counter. “I’ll come over and vacuum for you tomorrow, if you’d like.”
“We’ll see.” She shifted her weight from one foot to the other. “If you’d like to come to the festival, we’ll be at the school at six.”
Jack couldn’t stop his grin. “You mean it?”
Pamela didn’t look at him, only nodded.
“I’ll be there.” Before she could protest, he leaned over and placed a quick kiss on the top of her head. He walked to the front door then stopped. “I love you, Pammer.”
* * *
Pammer. The nickname Jack had given her when they were high school sweethearts rolled around in her mind for two days. His declaration of love, the sincerity in his gaze before he’d walked out the door, the kiss on her forehead, the warmth and strength of his embrace. They all haunted her.
Emma grabbed Pamela’s hand and pulled her toward the door. “Come on, Mom. Kirk and Callie are already at Grandma and Grandpa’s.”
Peeking out the window, Pamela saw her brother and sister-in-law cross the yard and walk in the back door of the B and B. She couldn’t deny that living a yard length behind her parents and a few yard lengths away from her brother and sister-in-law did have its advantages. Gathering together for family dinner nights was literally a hop, skip and a jump away from the cabin.
Pamela shooed her girls toward the front door. “Well, go on over there.” She snapped her fingers. “Emma, grab the dinner rolls off the kitchen table first.”
The girls raced out the door, and Pamela opened the oven door and lifted out the apple crisps. Part of her wanted to place one on a dish to save for Jack, maybe take it to him as a thank-you for helping with the girls and the house. She shook her head. She didn’t want to encourage him and didn’t have the strength to give him the opportunity to break her heart again.
Besides, now she had the girls to think about. They would feel the pain of his addiction and the hurt of his abandonment as deeply as she, and she simply would not put them at risk.
Gently, she placed each hot apple crisp on a plate. She made the dessert every October, and yet today as she’d cut apples, she’d thought of Jack and how much he loved them. While she combined sugar, flour and cinnamon, she envisioned him closing his eyes, rubbing his belly and oohing and aahing over the dessert. When she dropped the oat mixture on top of the apples and then put the pan in the oven, she remembered him taking her in his arms and sweeping kisses on her mouth, cheeks, nose and forehead in thanks for making his favorite.
As she placed the last of the crisps on the plate, her cheeks burned with the memory of those kisses and his touch. She couldn’t deny she missed him. For years, she’d squelched passion, a need for touch, a desire for warmth, but seeing him again had brought all those needs and feelings back. They made her light-headed and vulnerable.
Leaning forward, she placed her elbows on the counter and dropped her head into her hands. Why had she told him he could come to the festival? She didn’t want to be around him. Didn’t want to feel weak in his presence, like she’d lost every ounce of good sense. She didn’t need to be vulnerable.
Standing up straight, she scooped the plate off the counter. Feel. Need. Want. All words of a woman who didn’t have a backbone. And one thing Jack’s leaving had given her was a strong spine. Ignoring her emotions, she determined to focus on her mind. On her good sense. She wouldn’t allow herself to be swayed
by charm, memories or even the promise of his having changed.
She walked across the yard to her parents’ house. She put the dish on the counter, then joined the family in the living area. Emmy sat cuddled up beside Callie, her hand resting on Callie’s ever-so-slightly swollen belly. Kirk sat beside them on the couch, his arm behind his wife’s shoulders. Mom and Emma shared the wingback chair, and Dad sat in the leather recliner.
“Why can’t I feel them yet?” asked Emmy.
“They’re still too little.” Kirk lifted his hand and curled his finger and thumb about an inch and a half apart. “Only as big as a fig, so their kicks aren’t very strong yet.”
“But you said you heard their heartbeats,” said Emmy.
Callie looked over at Pamela and smiled. Pink cheeks, bright eyes, shiny blond hair that touched her shoulders. She really did glow with sheer maternal happiness. “We heard their heartbeats today at the doctor’s visit.”
Pamela wanted to be excited for her brother and Callie. And she couldn’t wait to meet her twin nieces or nephews. She looked at her brother, his chin and chest lifted in pride, and jealousy niggled at her gut. She’d never seen that in Jack. He’d been shocked and less than thrilled when they’d discovered their first unplanned pregnancy. The second sent Jack over the edge. His aloofness had ripped away part of her joy at becoming a new mother. Pushing away her selfish feelings, she smiled at her sister-in-law. “That’s wonderful. They’re getting bigger every day.”
Emmy placed her mouth against Callie’s belly. “Yes, you are. Now, hurry up and grow so I can feel you kick.”
The family laughed, and Emmy sat up, her cheeks and neck pink.
“So, what’s this I hear about Jack going to the fall festival tomorrow?” her dad asked.
“I don’t want him to go,” said Emma as she crossed her arms in front of her chest.
Pamela’s mother draped her arm around Emma’s shoulders. “You don’t? Why not?”
A Family Reunited Page 5