God, I don’t deserve her forgiveness.
Scriptures about trusting God came to mind.
Trusting the words of his spirit, he lifted his eyebrows and extended his hands to Emma. To his surprise, she grabbed hold. He guided her onto the ice. She didn’t look up at him; she focused on her feet instead. He encouraged her to allow the skates to glide across the ice, but she remained stiff and wouldn’t look up.
“Look at me, Emma.” Emmy waved as she skated tentatively past them.
Emma looked up for a brief moment, wobbled and then grabbed his hands tighter.
“Don’t worry—I’ve got you.”
A voice boomed over the speakers. “Ladies and gentlemen, boys and girls, it’s Zamboni time.”
Emma looked up at him questioningly. “What’s that?”
“They’re going to clean the ice.” He guided her toward the exit. “Let’s get some nachos and slushes.”
She smiled, and Jack’s heart melted. “Okay.”
Emmy skated beside him. “Daddy, what are we doing?”
“They’ve got to clean the ice,” said Emma in her big-sister voice. “But we’re gonna get some nachos and slushes.”
Emmy clapped her hands. “Yay!”
After taking off their skates, they walked to the concession and ordered a snack. Once at a table, the girls chattered back and forth about wobbles and near falls while trying to move around the ice. Each story sounded scarier than the one before, and yet neither of the girls had fallen a single time.
Jack watched Pamela as she listened to the girls’ tales. She was a good mom, and he hoped one day she would share some of the things he’d missed. Like Emmy’s birth. Was it easier than Emma’s? When did she start walking? Did the girls fight when they were smaller? Now they seemed to be good friends. Different as night and day, but buddies just the same. What were their first words? What were their first days of school like? He’d missed so much. Had they asked about him? Did they know about the night he left? “Thanks for your patience.” The same voice sounded over the speaker. “Let’s start the new hour with a couples’ skate.”
Emma looked at Pamela and pointed toward him. “Are you gonna skate with Daddy?”
Pamela started to shake her head no, but Emmy bounced in her seat and clapped her hands. “Yeah, Mommy, do it. Daddy’s a great skater. He won’t let you fall.”
Jack lifted his brows and held out his hand. “She’s right.”
At first he’d believed she would say no, but instead she bent down and put on her skates. Jack’s heart raced in his chest as he laced up his own.
Taking her hand in his, he guided her onto the ice. In one quick motion, he twirled around to skate backward, then gripped her hands tight. She gasped when she lost her balance for a moment. “Jack, you said you wouldn’t let me fall.”
He peered into her eyes. “With God’s help, I’ll never let you fall again.”
Pamela looked away from him, and he knew she’d heard his words exactly as he’d meant them.
“I love you, Pamela.”
She stared up at him. “Can we just skate without all the heavy?”
“Absolutely.”
He held her hands, relishing their softness, longing for the touches he’d once known, but he didn’t say anything else. He remembered. He enjoyed. And he prayed for a second chance at her love.
The song ended, and the girls joined them on the rink. Emmy grew more confident skating, and Emma softened toward him. He watched and relished when Pamela laughed with the girls, tucking away each moment deep into his heart.
Once the day ended, he drove them back to the cabin. He walked them to the door, and Emmy wrapped her arms around his waist. “Thanks, Daddy. I had a bunch of fun.”
She scampered into the house. To his surprise, Emma gave him a tentative hug. He wrapped his arms around her. “Thanks, Dad,” she whispered, then raced into the house.
His gut twisted, and tears welled in his eyes. He blinked them away as he looked at Pamela. She smiled. “It was a lot of fun. Night, Jack.”
She shut the door, and Jack stumbled back to the car. Forgiveness was happening.
Chapter 11
Pamela had no idea what was wrong with her. Jack had declined Thanksgiving dinner with her family, saying he had to help prepare a meal for the homeless at the shelter. She’d been surprised and quite frustrated. She hadn’t wanted to invite him to begin with. She twisted her mouth. Okay, maybe a little bit of her wanted to invite him. But she couldn’t believe he’d said no.
Sure, he’d asked to visit later that evening, around seven. And it was true, her family celebrated the meal a bit early at noon. And, yes, she knew the shelter was serving from two to four. Still, his absence irked her, and when Callie and Kirk offered to take the girls to see the new animated movie releasing that day, Pamela decided to pay a visit to her “husband” at his place of employment.
As she pulled into a parking space at the shelter, her belly somersaulted. Maybe this hadn’t been the best of ideas. She lifted her eyebrows when she spied a stringy-haired woman wearing layers of clothes beneath a dirty brown coat walking up the stairs of the shelter. Jack wasn’t expecting her, and she wasn’t used to being around homeless people. God, how do people live like that? What happens that they end up on the street? There’s government assistance everywhere. It doesn’t make sense.
She choked back a prayer. Since Jack arrived, she’d been doing that a lot more. Quick prayers. The fact that she’d succumbed to discussing things with God again really irked her, made her feel weak and needy. And yet she experienced moments of peace and security, as well. At the oddest times, she’d remember moments when God had provided for her and her children.
Like the time when the girls were small and she hadn’t slept even half a night in a week. Her mom and dad had been down with the flu, Ben was still in high school and Kirk was at a cattle conference. Pamela had tried to care for her parents and the girls, but she’d hit a wall and was about to lose her mind when Greta had shown up with a meal and took the girls for the afternoon so that Pamela could take a nap.
Greta. The thought of her tore at Pamela’s heart. Her friend had been taken from them in a car accident a few years ago. Her husband had remarried, to Greta’s sister no less. It just seemed so wrong, and she couldn’t understand why God would allow such a bad thing to happen to her friend.
Pushing away thoughts of provision and unfairness and how the two could possibly work together for God’s will, Pamela opened the car door and walked toward the front of the shelter. She swallowed back her nerves as she made her way through the door.
“Welcome to The Refuge.” Jack’s eyes widened and his lips spread into a full smile. “Pamela.”
“Hi, Jack, I...” What was she supposed to say? She drove over there because she was angry he didn’t come to the family’s Thanksgiving? That she wanted to see what was so important that he’d decline spending the holiday with the daughters he’d reunited with only a month ago?
“I’m glad you’re here.” He motioned her inside. “Come on in. I’d love to introduce you to some of my friends.”
Pamela looked around. The shelter didn’t look anything like she expected. The room was bright, and there were verses painted in big letters on the walls. Each round table had a bouquet of orange-and-yellow flowers in the center. The serving line reminded her of school, but the men and women standing behind it beamed with huge smiles as they handed each person a tray of food.
Jack took her hand, surprising her when he walked directly to one of the homeless men at a table closest to the canisters of iced tea and lemonade. “Steve, I’d like you to meet my wife.”
The shaggy-bearded man grinned, exposing several rotted teeth. Though he seemed a bit confused, his eyes appeared kind enough. The grime that covered his
face and hands and clothes made her want to take a step back. She hoped he wouldn’t want to shake hands.
Instead, he clicked his tongue and winked at her. “Ain’t you every bit as pretty as Jack here said.”
He lifted his elbow and nudged Jack, and body odor wafted to Pamela’s nostrils. How could Jack stand this day in and day out?
“She is at that.” Jack pointed toward the serving line. “I’m going to introduce her to Pastor Mark.”
Steve didn’t respond, but instead focused on his meal again. Jack guided her toward the volunteers then stopped when the front door opened again. He lifted his finger. “Be back in just a minute.”
Jack walked to the door and greeted the woman. He asked her something, and she seemed hesitant, almost angry. He motioned to a pretty dark-haired woman who had been wiping off tables. The woman spoke with the homeless lady, who handed over the bag she carried on her shoulder. The volunteer went through the bag, then replaced all the contents and handed it to the homeless woman. She headed toward the serving line, and Pamela watched as Jack and the volunteer talked. Jealousy wiggled up her spine at the intensity in the dark-haired woman’s gaze. No doubt the gal had her eye on Jack. Well, he’s my husband, lady. So back off.
Heat warmed Pamela’s face. Where had that thought come from? She didn’t want Jack. Sure, it was great that he wanted to be part of the girls’ lives, and the money he’d given them each week had been a huge help, but she’d already determined she didn’t want the two of them to get back together.
She glanced at the volunteer. And yet she didn’t want him to get with that woman, either. She lifted her shoulders when Jack and the lady made their way toward her. Great. She couldn’t wait to the meet the gal.
Jack pointed to the woman. Of course, she was even more beautiful up close. “Pamela, this is Teresa. She’s one of the volunteers.”
The woman smiled, but Pamela could tell it was forced. Her body language mimicked Pamela’s. Neither of them wanted to meet the other. Challenge warred within her gut as she extended her hand to the volunteer. “It’s a pleasure to meet you.”
“And you.” Teresa narrowed her gaze just a bit. “I’ve enjoyed helping Jack get the shelter up and going.”
“I’m sure my husband appreciated your help.”
Teresa nodded and walked away, and Pamela looked back at Jack. His eyebrows were raised, and the left side of his mouth was lifted in a crooked grin. Her jealousy had been all too apparent. Pamela bit back a growl and looked away from him. “So, who else do you want me to meet?”
* * *
Jack walked into Pamela’s parents’ house. Mike greeted him with a handshake. “How’d the Thanksgiving meal go today?”
Tammie made her way into the room. “Pamela said you had quite a turnout.”
“We did.” Jack accepted her hug and nodded. “I was surprised Pamela came.”
“God is always working.”
Jack lifted his hands as he looked around the room. “Where is everyone?”
“Callie, Kirk and the girls should be back from the movie anytime,” said Mike. “Not sure where Ben ran off to, and Pamela ran over to the cabin to get her apple crisps.”
Jack licked his lips and rubbed his belly. It had been a long time since he’d enjoyed Pamela’s dessert. “Apple crisps?”
Tammie nudged his arm. “She wouldn’t admit it in a hundred years, but if you ask me, she made them special ’cause she knew you were coming.”
Jack’s heart warmed. He hoped his mother-in-law was right. Worry settled in his gut when he thought of his last encounter with his younger brother-in-law. “Does Ben know I was coming over?”
Mike shook his head. “Never had a chance to tell him. Didn’t tell us he was leaving...”
“Just turned around and he was gone,” Tammie said. She frowned. “I’m worried about that boy. Something’s not right.”
Jack shared her fear. Once upon a time, he and Ben had been close. Jack would have grabbed Pamela’s younger brother by the collar and asked him man-to-man what was going on. Yet another relationship he had ruined when he’d allowed the bottle to become his god. Jack patted Tammie’s shoulder. “I’ve been praying for him.”
The front door swung open and Emma and Emmy bounded inside. “The movie was awesome,” squealed Emmy. She spied Jack and opened her arms. “Daddy!”
Emma waved. “Hi, Dad. Did you come to play games?”
“I sure did.” He placed his hands on each of the girls’ shoulders. “Why don’t you tell me about the movie while we set up the game?”
Callie rested her hand on top of her growing belly. Fatigue traced her flushed face. “I’m whipped. I think I’ll lie down for a bit.”
Kirk kissed the top of her head. He covered her hand with his own. “Not even born yet, and the boys are already wearing out their mama.”
Callie swatted his shoulder. “Kirk, stop doing that. We do not know if they are boys.”
Kirk chortled. He wiggled his eyebrows, and Callie swatted his arm again. Jack remembered bantering with Pamela when they were dating and newly married. One day, he hoped to have the camaraderie again. The back door opened, and the scent of apples and cinnamon filled the air.
Emmy clapped her hands. “Apple crisps are ready.”
Callie stopped, a grin gracing her face. “I think I have enough energy to eat a bit before I rest.”
The family laughed as they walked into the kitchen. Jack looked at Pamela. Her face flushed when their gazes connected. Could it be because she’d made his favorite dessert or because she’d been jealous of Teresa earlier? If she’d let him, he could set her mind at ease about Teresa. The only women he was interested in stood in this kitchen.
Tammie took bowls out of the cabinets, while Pamela placed silverware and napkins on the counter. Kirk got out the vanilla ice cream, and Callie and Mike sat down at the table. Jack sat opposite them, and the girls plopped into seats on either side of him. Emmy grabbed his hand and nestled her cheek against his palm, and Emma grinned at him as she rubbed her hands together in anticipation of the dessert.
Pleasure trailed through him once everyone sat at the table together with apple crisps and ice cream in front of them. He’d longed for this, to be a true part of the family once more.
Closing his eyes, he took the first bite and savored the sweet, cinnamon-apple flavor. A memory filled his heart of Pamela making the dessert for him soon after they’d learned she was pregnant with Emma. He’d been confused and scared, and she’d tried to encourage him that everything would be all right. Her faith had been so strong and his so weak.
Opening his eyes, he looked at her. She studied him, and he wondered if she could read his thoughts. She nodded toward the dessert. “Good?”
“As always.”
Emmy licked the back of her spoon. “I’m ready to play a game.”
“Me, too.” Emma placed the silverware in her empty bowl.
Taking the last bite, Jack stood and grabbed the girls’ bowls, then set them in the sink. “I’m ready, too.”
Kirk took Callie’s hand. “I think I’ll take my girl back to the house and let her rest a bit.”
Callie didn’t protest as she stood and leaned her head against his shoulder. “Tammie, I know I should stay and help with the dishes—”
“Nonsense. You cooked with Pamela and me all morning, then took the girls to the movie.” Tammie kissed Callie’s forehead and patted her stomach. “Go put my grandbabies to bed.”
Emmy stuck out her bottom lip. “But we need another player. Who’s gonna play if Callie and Kirk leave?”
Mike reached across the table and tapped Emmy’s hand. “Your mama will play.”
“No. I’m gonna help Mom clean up,” said Pamela.
Mike pointed to his chest. “That’ll be my job ton
ight. Go enjoy your family.”
Jack held his breath as he waited for Pamela’s response to her dad’s words. A few weeks ago she would have glared at her father, proclaimed Jack not to be her family and left the room. But they’d made some progress since then. She’d softened toward him. Maybe she was even beginning to love him again. Or at least like him.
Pamela nodded. “Okay.” She looked at the girls. “What are we going to play?”
The girls raced into the other room, and he and Pamela followed them. He wanted to take her hand, to feel the warmth of it once more in his own. But he didn’t. The time would come, but for now he had to be patient.
Her phone buzzed, and she pulled it out of her front pocket. Jack spied the name Peter on the screen. That was the guy from the fall festival, the one who’d been her professor. No doubt the guy was interested in Pamela. Pamela snarled and shoved the phone back in her pocket without replying to the message. Jack sucked in a breath. He’d take that as a good sign.
The girls laid out the board game, and Jack sat beside Pamela at the card table her parents had set up in the living room.
“I’m yellow,” said Emmy.
“Red,” said Emma.
Pamela snatched the green and snickered. “Green.”
He twisted his mouth and narrowed his gaze in jest at her. She knew green was his favorite color. He lifted his brows. “Then I’ll have to beat you all with blue.”
The girls cackled as Emma spun to see who would go first.
The front door opened, and Ben stepped inside. Jack couldn’t get over how much the kid had grown. He wasn’t a kid at all anymore. Several inches taller than Jack, with dark stubble covering his chin, Ben had grown into a man. A man with dark bags beneath his eyes and a hardened set to his jaw. He pointed to Jack. “What is he doing here?”
Pamela stood. “He’s playing a game with me and the girls.”
Ben squinted. “Really, Pamela? You’re going to let him back into this house? Into your lives?”
A Family Reunited Page 8