by Danni Roan
“I’m Muiread,” the girl with the copper locks called as she pulled her chestnut horse in line with her sisters. “Call me Meg though.” She smiled then looked toward her father.
“I reckon you can get to meet everyone else as we go. I’m sure Benji will fill you in on whose who either way.” Joshua James smiled up at her then turning his horse toward the west lifted a hand. “Let’s head home.” He called pushing his horse into an easy walk.
Cathleen watched as the old green wagon, it’s high rounded covered top lurching and swaying over the rutted road, set the pace. Her husband, she glanced at him still unsure how she felt about that, snapped the reins on his team and fell in line behind the other conveyance. Around them men, woman and horses fell in line as out riders and started down the trail.
For a long time, Cathleen gazed at the road ahead. The land was flat and at this time of year dry with grasses beginning to turn from lush green to light gold. In the far distance she could see the mountains. Before leaving her home in Youngstown she’d scoured the old papers in the library looking for information on Wyoming. At least she was used to wide open spaces, cold winters and cows.
Benji glanced at his new wife, his heart skipping up a beat at her pretty face and soft shapely body. He wanted to reach out and take her hand to reassure her that she’d made the right choice by marrying him. He knew he was older than she was but already he felt like a new man just having her sitting on the high bench next to him, looking so lovely. He wondered what she was thinking as she looked out over the prairie.
Cathleen wondered what the man next to her was thinking. He was obviously kind to take her in like he had. She hoped she wouldn’t be an embarrassment to him and that she’d be able to help him at the home he’d told her about the night before. Her heart dropped as she remembered her wedding night. It was not what every girl dreamed.
Casper Wyoming, August 12, 1888
Cathleen took the arm of the bear of a man who’d convinced her that her only option was to marry him. In fact, she shouldn’t have needed convincing she truly had no alternatives, but he’d taken the time to talk to her just the same. Her insides quivered as she realized she was putting her life into the hands of this big, soft eyed stranger.
“Here’s the preacher.” Benjamin Smith said softly as the stopped in front of a stiff looking white tent. “He ain’t been here long so no real digs yet. I hope you don’t mind.”
“No, no.” she said a bit surprised that the town didn’t have a real church.
“Are you ready?” He asked, patting her hand where it rested in the crook of his arm.
Cathleen took a deep breath and forced a smile. She’d known she’d be marrying right away she just hadn’t known it would be out of pity. Nodding she stepped through the tent flap that the graying man held open for her.
The ceremony was short and direct. Nothing like the weddings of her few friends back east. The preacher asked them questions and they answered in the affirmative. He then, rather off-handedly said the words every bride is waiting for on her wedding day. “You may kiss the bride.” The parson spoke while taking the marriage contract out of her hand and signing it with a flourish.
Benjamin Smith turned to the lovely vision, who had just become his wife, and smiling dipped his head to hers brushing her lips with a chaste kiss. He wanted much more but didn’t want to frighten her.
The preacher handed back the contract and they both realized that one name was wrong on it. Benjamin quickly scrawled his name over the name of Jared Romera with a smile then took Cathleen’s hand. He couldn’t believe his luck.
Not wanting to subject the obviously weary woman to the whole crew of the Broken J on her first day he quickly decided to take her to a small house he knew of that would give you a hot meal and rent you a room for a night. Then he’d take some time and get to know his lovely bride.
Benjamin escorted Cathleen to a small home near the outskirts of town. It was no more than a four room cabin with a shake roof and dusty yard, but who was she to complain. She’d spent the last six days on the hard bench of a train.
“We’ll stay here tonight, then meet up with everyone in the morning. I’m sure you’re tired after you long journey.” Benjamin spoke, ushering her into the humble building with a warm hand on her back.
The meal, served at a communal table, was simple but delicious. A hearty stew with thick slices of bread to go with it. Cathleen was hungry but embarrassed to show it. She delicately picked at her food not wanting to let her new husband think she was unrestrained.
“Aren’t you hungry.” That very man, seated next to her, asked. “Or maybe you don’t like it. I can get us something else.” He seemed truly concerned.
“No it’s very good.” She replied hastily, “I think I’m just tired.”
His soft smile made her breath a little easier. “You’ll need your strength for the drive ahead so I’d suggest you eat up, we won’t be eating this good on the trail, especially with Billy doing the cooking.”
Cathleen smiled back at him as he encouraged her to enjoy her meal then tucked into the food. He didn’t seem to mind that she didn’t eat like a bird, she truly hoped it was alright because in reality she was famished.
After their meal he led her to one of the four bedrooms where a large galvanized tub had been set on the floor next to the big double bed, soft steam creating a haze above it.
“Oh, there you are.” Their hostess Mrs. Wilkes said “I got that bath ready just like you asked Mr. Smith.” she smiled at Benji who reached into his pocket and handed her a coin.
“Thank you Mrs. Wilkes.” He said kindly, then turned to Cathleen as the widow Wilkes stepped out of the room. “I thought you might like a hot bath before we hit the trail tomorrow. I hope that’s alright.” His dark blue eyes looked hopeful, like a boy eager to see if his gift was good enough.
“Oh, yes, thank you so much!” Cathleen replied excitedly. “I feel like half my being is made up of soot and smoke.” Her smile was bright and for just a moment Benji could see the twinkle that he knew belonged in her eyes.
“I’ll be stepping outside so you can be private.” His voice was husky. “Tomorrow we’ll stop at the mercantile to collect the supply order and pick you up a few things before we hit the trail.” He finished stepping backwards through the door and closing it with a snap.
Cathleen Malone, no Cathleen Smith let out a deep breath and allowed her whole body to slump. She was exhausted, filthy and heart sore, not to mention a nervous wreck over this whole ordeal. How had everything gotten so topsy-turvy? Pushing the thought away, she unhooked the clasps at her back letting the deep plumb gown, she’d worn for days, drop to the floor. She then hurried to unlace her corset, dropping it with a contented sigh. Next came her petticoats, bloomers, camisole, stockings and shoes.
The hot water felt like heaven on earth, not wasting any time she picked up a cloth and a bar of soap that smelled of honey and lemon scrubbing herself thoroughly. The sweet smell of the soap and the warm water was soothing, and she wondered where such a lovely item had come from. She felt cramped in the tub, but being clean felt wonderful. After a good scrub she stood dried her body then bending over the tub pushed her mass of straight dark hair into the water, lathering it with the same soap then rinsing it with the pitcher that stood by the tub, wringing her hair out then wrapping it in another bit of toweling felt glorious.
Once she was fully clean she rummaged in her bag for her best night gown. It was getting thread bear along the cuffs and she’d have to make a new one soon but she pulled the soft white fabric over her head and taking a silver backed brush from her bag, began brushing out her hair so it would dry.
A soft knock on the door made Cathleen jump. “Yes.” She answered just loud enough to be heard.
The door swung open and Benjamin Smith stepped in. His eyes raked up and down her body a surprised look on his face as he swallowed then spoke.
“I’ll…I’ll just take the water out.” He st
ammered his voice gruff as he blinked at Cathleen’s soft blush.
Moving across the room he lifted the tub and carefully carried it out the door. Cathleen was surprised at the strength he still had at his age.
A few minutes later he returned, standing nervously in the middle of the room as she tied her hair into a braid that fell well below her hips.
“You must be tired.” He finally offered. “You go ahead and take the bed and I’ll just kip on the floor.” He turned his words into actions as he pulled a pillow from the bed and a quilt from a rack on the wall.
Cathleen’s heart stuttered. She’d been right he was just a kind man who was taking her in, he didn’t find her attractive or truly want her as a wife. She felt her lower lip tremble as she blew out the lamp and climbed into the bed alone. This was not the wedding night she had hoped for. She couldn’t blame him if he didn’t want her, she understood, no one else had ever wanted her either, not in all of her forty-two years. She’d never been courted and thought she didn’t care, but somehow the fact stung.
A silent tear ran down her cheek as she pulled the blankets tight.
Benji eased himself onto the hard floor with a shiver. He could tell that Cathleen was crying. She must have really had her heart set on that Jared fellow. He growled in his chest wishing he could find the man and give him a good beating for hurting his Cathleen. He started, wondering when he’d begun to think of her as his. He felt protective of his new bride even as he wished with every inch of his being that he was in that bed with her now.
Walking in earlier and seeing Cathleen sitting on the quilt, her long hair falling across her shoulders over the thin muslin of her night gown had nearly stopped his heart. His whole body heated to boiling point in that instance as his eyes lingered on her full bosom straining the light fabric. It had taken all of his will power not to lay her back on the bed and kiss her senseless. He groaned just thinking about it. He wanted to feel her in his arms, and get lost in the ripe fullness of her body.
“Maybe that skinner was right.” He thought as he tried to find a comfortable position on the hard wooden planks. “Maybe I am just an old fool.”
Chapter 3
An especially bad rut in the road jostled Cathleen causing her to squeal and grab the seat, startling her back to the present. A strong hand reached out steadying her and she looked up into the smiling eyes of Benjamin Smith. She smiled back, thinking how silly she would have looked tumbling top over tea kettle into the dirt.
“You alright?” the man asked, his arm still around her shoulders. She scooted closer to him on the seat so he didn’t have to stretch so far.
“Yes,” she smiled again, “I can’t help but think that my tumbling off this wagon would have left a lasting first impression on everyone from the Broken J.” her eyes sparkled.
Benji smiled. “You’ve been very quiet is there anything you need? I’m afraid it will be a while before we can stop.”
“I was just thinking.” Cathleen replied “It’s been a strange few days.” Again her mind went back to her first night as Mrs. Smith.
She awakened in the little room to find that Benjamin had already gone. Her heart raced surely he hadn’t married her just to decide he couldn’t stand to be with her now. What would she do? How would she survive? The rejection of the day before threatened to panic her.
Pulling herself together she rose, and dressed. The door opened again just as she was lacing up her shoes. She sighed in relief when the burly man stepped through the door.
“Good, you’re up.” He’d smiled at her. “Mrs. Wilkes has breakfast ready and then we’ll head to the store.”
“Thank you.” Her voice was shaky even to her own ears as she stepped toward the wash basin. “I’ll be ready in a minute.”
Benjamin moved closer to her looking down at her, taking her face in his hands, his face showing concern. “I’m not going anywhere you know.” He said softly. “You don’t have to worry; I’ll take care of you.”
She smiled at him weakly. “I’ll be right out.”
As her new groom exited the room she stood before the small wash basin, splashed water on her face and looked herself in the mirror. “Enough of this.” She demanded of the reflection. “You will make the best of this situation. You knew you were not marrying for love so one situation is just as good as the other.”
She glared at the woman before her. She was forty-two and had never been courted she didn’t need any romantic nonsense now. She would have a home, people who would become friends and a kind man to see that she was safe, even if he wasn’t attracted to her.
“It will do.” She said then straitening her hair she picked up her bag and stepped out the door into her new life.
“Cathleen?” Her husband’s voice drew her voice back to the present. “I know this must be a difficult trip for a lady like yourself. You’ll be more comfortable when we get to the ranch.”
Cathleen gaped. Why would he think she was a lady? She looked down at her clothes, the fine dress that she had been given just before she left Ohio. Bernice, the match maker had insisted she have one good gown. She’d given her the hat and the parasol as well. She smiled remembering. Before fear gripped her heart, what if Benjamin thought she’d deceived him, what if he was disappointed when she explained? Her heart thumped in her chest, but she placed a hand on his arm.
“I’m not a lady.” She said looking at him closely. “I’m just a girl from a farm. Please don’t be upset?”
“Why would I be upset?” the man asked seriously.
“You thought I was a lady because of this fancy dress and I’m not. I didn’t mean to deceive you.”
“Just because I assumed something doesn’t mean you deceived me. Even if you are a girl from a farm you’re a lady in my eyes.”
Cathleen was surprised. He didn’t seem to mind at all.
“Why don’t you tell me a little about yourself while we travel? We’ve got four days on the road to get to know each other better.”
Cathleen didn’t know what to say what was there to tell. She was a simple girl with little experience of the world. She’d grown up on the dairy farm her father worked until his death just three months ago. Her mother had gone on years earlier.
“Tell me how you came to be here in Wyoming?” the drover next to her prompted, leaning his elbows on his knees while holding loosely to the reins in his hands.
“My father worked on a large dairy farm in Youngstown Ohio for his whole life.” She began. “We didn’t own it but we did have a little house to stay in.” She smiled thinking about it.
“I kept house for my father after my mother passed away when I was twelve. It was a simple life but we were content.” She glanced at the man called Benjamin beside her. “I never married.” Her words were soft.
Benji wondered about her last statement. It seemed impossible a lovely woman like this with such a fetching smile could become a spinster. He frowned thinking on it, but kept quiet.
“When Papa got ill he worried about what I would do. I knew I could have stayed on as a milk maid at the farm but he wanted more for me. He told me I should marry and have a home of my own.” She smiled her eyes taking on a far off look.
“So you like cows?” Benjamin’s voice interrupted her thoughts.
“Oh yes.” She replied. “They’re daft, and you get a mean one now and then but overall I like them. I’d better since I’ve spent the last forty-two years around them.” She blushed scarlet suddenly realizing she’d revealed her age.
She cut her eyes toward the man she called husband, hoping he hadn’t noticed. He smiled brightly at her but without any sign of doubt in his eyes.
“Cows are a little different on the ranch than what you’d be used to.” He offered. “We do have two good milk cows but the rest are beef animals and are mostly out on the range.” He looked at her checking that she understood. “We just delivered a large herd to Casper to ship off to market so the round up and drive is over.”
&nbs
p; They rode along in companionable silence for a while before Benji spoke again.
“So how did you come to be a mail-order-bride?” he asked.
“A few of the woman from town decided to become mail-order-brides.” Cathleen began. “When Papa was ill he asked me to write to the match maker so I did.”
Benjamin Smith noticed how her shoulders slumped and he knew she was thinking about that dunder-head that had left her at the station. Gently he wrapped an arm around her and squeezed. She felt so warm, so soft. He sighed wishing he could wrap both arms around her and kiss her.
Cathleen scooted closer to the man next to her. Her hip brushed his, she longed for human contact, even just that little bit. It had been so long since anyone had held her tight. She was glad she had married a kind man, even if he didn’t desire her.
A wheel hit a rock in the road and one of the traces jerked from Benji’s hand slapping the near horse on the rump and causing him to jump. In an instant all four animals lurched into a run spooked by the sudden movement.
Benji, grabbed for the rein as it slithered toward the foot rail at the front, catching it just in time but his sudden movement made the horses lurch forward faster. Bracing his feet against the foot rail, Benjamin hauled on the reins, calling to the horses, in a calm voice, even as he struggled to gain control.
“Whoa, whoa,” He cried keeping his voice gentle while he jiggered the reins bringing the horses back to a halt. “You alright?” He asked looking intently at the woman next to him who had a death grip on the bench seat.
Slowly Cathleen let go of the seat, her eyes wide as she gazed at him and a smile spread across her face. “Nothing like a brisk run in the mornin’ to get you going.” She said and chuckled.
Benji laughed. “I’m sorry if I scared you.” He was delighted that she hadn’t fallen into hysterics.
“No harm done so it’s as good as if it didn’t happen.” She said, her eyes still bright from the excitement.