by F. F. John
My heart was in my mouth. Learning that my mother and father were attacked, and that I was almost killed in utero sent my mouth dropping.
A visible shiver passed over Caleb’s muscles. “That night, Acyel promised himself he’d do everything in his power to keep his family safe. Even though it was the hardest thing he could ever do, he erased Rebecca’s memories of him. He also suggested with a whisper in her ear that she seek shelter at the nearest church. The reverend father took her in and after she birthed her child, the baby was given to an orphanage.”
My hands curled at my side. My father gave up on my mother and made her give up on me. The hurt I suddenly felt was like the bright pain of a bandage being ripped off hairy skin. I couldn’t hear, see or think of anything else. Everyone who should have loved me abandoned me!
Don’t forget why.
“All because of a stupid prophecy,” I grumbled out loud forcing Caleb into silence. My anger mounting, I added, “Does anyone even know if this prophecy is legit?”
Caleb stopped walking and twisted to face me. “That’s the thing about prophecies. The worst has to happen to prove them real.”
“If I talk to Lucifer, I’m sure I can convince him it’s meaningless.”
“I know you spend your days convincing people with your words. Unfortunately, Celestials and those of the netherworld take prophecies very seriously.” He placed a consoling hand on my upper arm. “You won’t be able to convince them otherwise.”
I stepped away from him, turning east toward a small barn in the distance. Hearing about my parents should have been a good thing but learning that they were saddled with this stupid prophecy was pissing me off. There had to be a way to invalidate it.
“Please don’t walk away. I’m not done telling you—”
Whirling around, I asked, “Telling me what? How messed up my life is? My parents couldn’t keep me safe, so they left me to be raised by strangers. I know that! They left me to struggle in a world where I was hated for being black, being poor, being parentless. All things I couldn’t change.” I huffed. “And now, somebody wants to kill me because of who my father is. Something else I can’t control.”
“Your parents didn’t want that for you. They loved you and love you still. You have to believe me.”
They loved you and love you still.
I stalked back to him. “How exactly do you know that?”
“I-I uh all parents uh-uh they l-love their children,” he struggled to get out.
Did he just stammer?
“No, that’s not true. Also, how is it you know so much about my parents, Caleb?” I stopped inches away from him. I took in his sooty-black hair, dark brown eyes and strong jaw, which ticked at me. “How do you know?” I raised my voice so loud that a flock of birds was startled out of a nest above us, the flaps of their wings echoing in the silence that befell us. And then it hit me. Clarity, bright and stark, sliced into me almost toppling me over.
He swept his gaze to meet mine. Sadness flared within his eyes. It was gone in a flash, but his drooping shoulders were evidence of the lost emotion. He dropped his gaze, scrutinizing the green grass below us instead of looking at me.
When he spoke next, his words were a blow, while being expected at the same time.
“I know because…” He looked away as his voice thinned. “I am Acyel,” he murmured with a sigh. “I am your father.”
My mind reeled, and my stomach rolled like an ocean wave. It was a sensation I’d become familiar with.
“I’m sorry you’re finding out this way…”
He’s sorry?
“But I thought you’d be safer not knowing who I was.”
Safer?
“I’ve watched over you your entire life…”
Liar!
“—and I’d hoped to meet you before your Becoming Night, so I could help you adjust…”
Help me adjust?
“—but things didn’t go the way I planned. I’m sorry.”
Again, with the sorry.
All I could do was stare at him as his lips moved with meaningless words that were making my temperature rise. He was sorry, blah, blah, blah! Because of this…man standing before me, I’d lost one of my best friends, possibly, my job. And if the super moon was anytime soon, I was living on borrowed time. How would his apology fix anything?
“When I met you the first time at Layla’s shop, you knew.” I was impressed by how calm I sounded. “You could have told me then.”
“I’m sorry…”
“Stop fucking saying that!” I punched the air. “Didn’t you know I was vulnerable on my Becoming Night? Where were you?”
“I’m so—” He caught himself before completing his sentence and dragged in a long breath. “I was at Ahas that night. Those bouncers weren’t the only creatures on your tail. I destroyed the others.”
I scoffed and glared at him, barely able to keep my rage down as I spat out, “Am I supposed to thank you? Maybe you’d like an award for world’s best dad, would you?”
“No, none of that. I was trying to keep you safe. That’s all I’ve ever done, son.”
“Don’t you dare call me son!” I stabbed a finger in his direction then spun around and marched off to him calling me back.
--XVIII--
I STORMED OFF, MY SNEAKERS crushing the verdant grass. How dare he say he’s been around my whole life? How dare he claim he was keeping me safe?
He didn’t protect me from Sister Magdalene’s hateful words. Caleb wasn’t the one to save me from the bullies in high school. Antonio and Lucas were there to get me out of fights with boys who took jabs at me, kicked me and called me every name under the sun.
And now, he thought he could tell me his life’s story, mention my mother, sprinkle in some apologies and all would be right as rain? Hell no!
I didn’t watch where I was going and soon stopped short when invisible silk threads brushed across my face. Swatting viciously, I did my best to clear the spider’s web I’d walked into. I scratched my scalp, hoping to rid myself of the silver tendrils before easing toward the farmhouse, now in sight.
My thoughts scurried to his name. Caleb Engel. How dumb of me. It was a German name meaning ‘faithful angel.’ I should have known. Disgust in myself made me kick at a broken branch. He even stuttered when nervous the way I did.
Another thought occurred to me and I froze. I was standing in front of the main door to the house. It had four panes of glass arranged to form a long, in a horizontal rectangle. I recalled the first day I met him and how something about him had seemed familiar. Now, I understood why. It was his eyes. They looked just like the ones that staring back at me. Eyes wide with stunned realization as I looked at myself in the glass.
Hauling the creaky front door open, I marched into the living room to find Layla. The chimes that clinked as I entered did nothing to smother my ire despite the melody that filled the air. The card reader stood by the room’s only bookshelf in a yellow and orange polka dot dress that seemed too vibrant for someone her age.
“And, you!” My voice was a low growl. “You said you’d find my parents. When were you going to tell me the truth?” I tucked my hands under my elbows and awaited her response.
The card reader recoiled as though slapped. She soon recovered, gripping herself at her hips. “You better mind that attitude, boy. Besides, that’s your daddy behind you.” She pointed over my shoulder as lines deepened like trenches between her brows. “Fancy lawyer like you ain’t figure it out yet?”
Bode eased into the space between Layla and myself, his hands up in a plea for peace. Head turning from her to me, he said, “This wasn’t the ideal way to learn about your father, but we’ve got a new problem that needs our attention. You mentioned Lucifer said he’d wait till the super moon to kill you?”
“Yeah. Why?” The clipped words hammered off my tongue.
“Well, the super moon makes an appearance tomorrow night. So, we’ve got to figure out how to stop that fr
om happening. Now.”
“He ain’t meanin’ the moon, boy. He means Lucifer killing ya.”
“Why gee, thanks, Layla,” I said with as much sarcasm as I could muster through my anger. “I feel so much better now that you’ve explained it to me.”
“I swear; I’d cuff ya right now.”
“You’re welcome to try.”
“Everyone relax,” Caleb thundered, walking in. “The super moon is a period that gives strength to all practicing creatures. It’s a dangerous time for anyone Cipher has his eyes on. Can we please focus on that?”
“Cipher?” Layla asked with a bewildered tone.
“Lucifer,” Bode, Caleb and I said at the same time.
“Okay, okay, calm down. I get it. Y’all are part of the we-know-Satan’s nickname club,”—her hands flew up in a gesture telling us to leave her be— “and that’s fine because I ain’t fixing to be a member, so I’m gonna see myself out.” She scooped a midnight blue tote bag off the sofa.
“You can’t leave,” Caleb said, and Layla reacted with raised eyebrows that dared him to make her stay.
“What’s that now?” she asked, her drawl thick.
“We will need a witch of your caliber if my son is going to make it past tomorrow night.”
“Now, you care about me?” I glared daggers at him. He responded with a sad expression that immediately hardened when he glanced back at Layla.
“I’m not a witch…anymore,” she said, ignoring my statement. She scratched her scalp and adjusted her weight on the balls of her feet. I zoned in on her. She was no longer a witch? And if so, how was she able to do the things I’d seen her do?
“Fine, what should I call you then?” Caleb sounded impatient
“Listen here.” Layla shook her head. “I ain’t got no business getting in between you Celestial types. The last time I did…” she paused, her mouth moving, though no sound came out. When she finally spoke, her sadness was palpable, “It didn’t end well.”
Bode took her hand and his brow creased with understanding. “I know that day haunts you.” His tone was soothing. “However, if you don’t intercede here, the same will happen to someone else. Could you sit back and watch?”
“Those sugar lips of yours won’t change my mind. This one over here”—she pointed at Caleb— “has an entire army at his beck and call. Why can’t he ask them for help? They’re duty bound to answer, ain’t they?”
My eyes jumped from Layla to Bode then Caleb. “What is she talking about?”
“Something I can’t do.”
“Yes, you can, and all you need to do is say, I hereby summon Legion’s protection.” Bode said taking a step toward Caleb. “Legionnaires are sworn to protect each other when called. If there ever was a time to seek their assistance, it is now.”
Caleb squared his shoulders and fixed Bode with a pointed look. “I just can’t.”
“Why? Don’t repeat your mistakes, my friend.” Bode let out a tired sigh. Not as the life of your loved one hangs in the balance.”
“What mistake?” I asked.
“It doesn’t matter.” Caleb said to me. Turning back to Bode, he said, “I will not do it.”
I stepped into the space between them. “What are you guys talking about?”
“Caleb refused to—”
“I will not have Legionnaires risk their lives for me.”
“But—”
“That is all!” Caleb turned hard eyes on Layla. “Ward this farm and create a powerful enough spell to protect my son.”
Though asking her for help, the tone he used suggested she didn’t have a choice. His terse command didn’t sit right with me. I might have my issues with Layla but forcing her to help wasn’t a smart move.
“You really need to ask her politely.” I met Caleb’s glare and noticed Bode nod in approval out of the corner of my eye.
Caleb scowled at me but eventually said, “Please.” Although he said it through gritted teeth, I could tell he meant it.
A muscle flexed in her jaw, but she soon grunted. “Fine. I’ma need some ingredients and they ain’t the kind you buy from Wally World neither. I need to get shopping!”
“I’ll take you,” Bode offered.
“Tell me, do you think Lucifer and his gnats’ll attack us here?” Her hand gripped the straps of her tote. Although her expression appeared normal, the way her knuckles blanched suggested otherwise. And seeing that from a blind old lady who wasn’t afraid to go toe-to-toe with a fallen angel gave me pause.
Caleb turned thoughtful. “I think it’s best we step up our protection here, just in case.”
“Sounds smart. But what would be better would be to call on Legion,” Bode grumbled. “Let’s go, Ms. Barrow.”
After the front door clanked shut, I twisted toward Caleb. “What was Bode mean when he told you not to repeat your mistakes?”
“Nothing.”
I scoffed. “Don’t tell me that was nothing. What’s the deal with Legion? Why not call them?”
“I have good reasons.” He lowered himself into a seat, letting his fingers run across the tassels on the edge of a cushion. “Not all fallen angels are immortal. I happen to be, so I don’t mind going into battles.” His fingers pinched the skin between his brows. “I cannot drag good Celestials into a battle where they could lose their life. It wouldn’t be right.”
“But what did he mean about the mistakes?”
He looked away from me. “We can talk about that some other time.”
“Absolutely not. We will talk about this now. Especially as I suspect that mistake has something to do with me.”
He stared at me, clearly shocked at my brazen demand. After a deep breath, he said, “I should have called on Legion when your mother and I were attacked by Lucifer. It could have made a difference that night and it’s a choice I deeply regret.”
I suddenly felt as if I’d left my body and was staring down at Caleb and me. He, seated in a chair and me standing close by with my mouth agape. Fury whirled within me as I looked at him. He sat there, calm and collected, as if he hadn’t just revealed that he failed me. He could have called on this army of his to take care of Lucifer and his demons, decades ago. If he had, I probably would have been raised in a home by my parents.
“I wouldn’t have to deal with this prophecy,” I muttered aloud, as I staggered to the sofa and lowered myself into it. “Oh my, God. My life would have been so different.”
My head was in my hands, so I didn’t see but felt him join me on the sofa. “Yes, it would have been, but I couldn’t risk the lives of so many good Legionnaires for my family or myself.”
“Why not?” I spun to look at him. “They are sworn to support each other.”
“It’s like I said earlier. I didn’t want their deaths on my conscience.”
“So, it was fine to just send your son out into the world as an orphan, instead?”
He blinked several times, looking down at his hands on his lap. “I never wanted that for you.”
“But that’s exactly what happened to me, so your intent is irrelevant.” I stood and scoffed in disgust “And you erased my mother’s memories. Does she remember having a son? Does she remember you?”
His Adam’s apple bobbed as his shoulders sagged. “I never saw your mother again after the day she left you at the orphanage. I have no idea where she is.”
“So, she could be out there in the world with no knowledge of her past.” No knowledge of me. The thought stung.
“I was only trying to keep everyone safe,” he said, his voice low.
“Well, you failed miserably.”
With that, he looked away, his hands folding into fists. “I’m sorry.”
“You’ve been saying that a lot.” I put my hands in my pockets and dropped my gaze to my sneakers. “Tell me where I can find a macula.”
His eyes narrowed. “Where did you hear about those?”
“Bode. He said I won’t defeat your twin without one.”
He ran a hand through his hair. “I wouldn’t know where to get one from.”
“So, we have no macula and you refuse to call on Legion for support. How exactly are we going to keep Lucifer from killing me tomorrow?”
“We’ll find a way.”
--XIX--
BODE AND LAYLA HAD APPARENTLY gone to some place called Dawn of Night to acquire the supernatural materials needed to make the living room a safe space for me. They’d spent the night fortifying the space with what looked like dirt, feathers and water.
I’d watched them cast spells until I got bored and went to my room. I didn’t sleep, however. Instead, I ruminated over the things I learned over the course of the day. It had been bombshell after bombshell. I’d learned my mother’s name, that Caleb was my father, and that he could use his army of Legionnaires to keep my mother and I safe.
Thinking about that last issue took me back to my time as a kid. I’d prayed my parents would show up one day and rescue me from the orphanage. I’d also fantasized that when they came for me, they’d take Antonio and Lucas too, so we could grow up like a traditional family.
Now, I knew more about my parents and though that should have been an epic moment for me, it had left me hollow.
Had Caleb truly been around when I was younger? Why didn’t he help me?
And hanging over my head was this prophecy and the fact that Lucifer thought that killing me was a necessity. I was hours away from the super moon breaching the horizon and a potential attack. If my father’s twin succeeded, I wouldn’t be here at this time tomorrow. The way Lucas was no longer here.
I’d tossed and turned to the tune of my thoughts and when I rose in the morning, I felt sluggish both physically and mentally. I’d staggered into the kitchen to find Caleb cooking at the stove.
The kitchen was small with a faded pine table that like everything else in this home, appeared hand-crafted. I wouldn’t have been surprised if the cream valance above the windows was stitched by someone sitting in one of the rocking chairs on the front porch. A wooden sign hung on the wall by the sink with large letters, saying Thank God for dirty dishes… I didn’t bother to read the rest. At the moment, I didn’t feel particularly thankful to God or anyone else.