He cupped his palm over her cheek. “You mean my talk about fucking.”
There it was again. The word that darted through her until her carefully constructed defenses blew apart. “Right, fucking.”
“You know what I think?”
She didn’t really care what he said next. It was all starting to sound like gibberish in her head. All but the “fucking” part. “I can’t really breathe at the moment.”
He stood up straight and lifted her hands off the counter. With a gentle pull, he wrapped them around his waist to rest on his lower back. “We could spend the next hour trying to choke down food while we think about what it would be like to taste each other, or—”
“What?” Her insides jumbled and tension welled.
“I could kiss you now.”
Excellent plan. Kissing, touching, dropping to the floor. She was in for all of it. But first things first. She held up a finger then broke free of the circle of his arms.
“What exactly are you doing?” He sounded more amused than angry.
“I’m betting once we start kissing we won’t stop.” She found a towel and folded it over and over before opening the oven. The scent of baked chicken mixed with rosemary and lemon spilled out. She dropped the pan on the cold burner with a clank before turning back to face him. “And we may be hungry after, so I don’t want it to burn.”
He smiled. “You are so fucking hot.”
Then he was on her, around her, holding her. His hands slid into her hair as his mouth touched hers. Not a gentle peck either. Oh, no. This man could kiss. Long and lingering. Heat burning until she expected to smell smoke.
His lips crossed hers. The warmth of his mouth and the firm chest rubbing against hers. The breath rushed out of her and she couldn’t get close enough. She practically crawled on top of him as he deepened the kiss.
His mouth lifted for a second. She thought she heard him say “okay” then he pressed even harder. One hand went to the back of her neck to hold her head steady as his tongue licked along the seam of her lips.
The sensual back and forth, the play of strong hands and warm lips had her grabbing on to him to keep from falling down. Then his leg was there, sliding up the inside of her calf. His knee rose and their clothing rustled.
She heard a pounding sound in her ears and when his knee pressed against the space between her thighs she broke off the kiss on a sharp inhale of breath. She rested her forehead against his as she tried to get her bearings.
“You okay?” His voice dipped even lower than usual as his knee pressed against her.
Her sensitized inner muscles begged for more. She could feel her body grow wet and her head dropped back, pressing harder into his palm. “Perfect.”
He nodded. “Where’s your bedroom?”
She pointed in the general direction of the room. Truth was they could end up in the bathroom and she’d be fine.
But she needed to set down one rule. “We are not fucking. Not tonight.”
She didn’t even remember why that was so important. Something about maintaining control and refusing to mix business with pleasure. It all sounded like nonsense in her head right now.
“There are so many things we can do without me getting inside you.” His hand caressed her head. “I’m happy to walk us through every single one of them.”
A mix of desire and need clogged her throat. “Jesus.”
He kissed her again. Short but no less explosive. Her nerve endings tingled.
When he lifted his head that intense gaze searched her face. “Is that a yes?”
She couldn’t force a word out so she nodded. Not the sexiest response ever but she guessed she was going to need her energy for whatever was about to happen.
Starting now.
She broke away from his embrace. He let her go but his gaze never left her. She glanced over her shoulder and held out a hand to him. “Let’s go.”
“Yes.”
She half expected him to run. She thought about jogging but went with a slow sexy dance through the living room and down the short hallway. One filled with touching and kissing. He even managed to untuck her shirt as they knocked against walls and tripped over carpet.
When she reached the bedroom she flicked the light on. A warm white made the room glow. From the high double bed with the fluffy blanket thrown over the end to the deep blue walls, the room said cozy.
But right now she wanted to rip his clothes off.
Between dragging kisses and the caress of his hand against her back then her butt, she managed to unbutton his shirt. One white button then another. She opened the edges wide, revealing the gray T-shirt he wore underneath.
The driving need slamming into her took over. She shoved the long-sleeve shirt off his shoulders and let it fall to the floor. Next came the tee. In her desperation to get to skin she almost shredded the thing ripping it over his head.
But then her palms smoothed over his chest and the world slowed down. Her fingertips outlined the puckered scar right near his collarbone. There was another old wound low on his stomach. The pain and danger behind those injuries hit her.
She blocked the mix by concentrating on the tattoo. Simple and clear. His pledge to the uniform and the country he served.
“I want you naked.” He said the words between kisses against her hair.
She looked up at him, full of hope and ready for anything. “Do it.”
He pushed her back on the bed. A little rougher but still in control. His hands went to the snap on the waistband of her jeans. He opened it and her zipper ticked down.
She lay there with her body primed. Each brush of his hand over her bare skin sent a new wave of need crashing through her. Energy pinged around them and the bed did a small bounce up and down as he crawled up her body on his knees.
His mouth found hers again, just as his body pressed hers deeper into the mattress. Those long fingers slipped by the elastic waistband of her underwear and slid deeper. With his body pinning hers, she could barely move but she spread her thighs to give him room. His chest pressed against hers and the friction made her wild.
Those expert fingers dipped inside her, barely but enough to have her lower body tightening. At first a soft brush. His fingertips rubbed against her, forcing her shoulders harder against the bed.
“God, yes.” She said the words on a harsh exhale.
One finger slipped in deeper, plunging then retreating. His thumb found the most sensitive part of her. Round and round, side to side until he had her hips bucking in time with his hand.
Her head shifted from side to side on the comforter as her hand slid into his hair and tightened there to hold him close. As his mouth traveled down her neck and along her collarbone, her breathing kicked up even faster. Her chest actually hurt from the force of the air moving through her.
When a second finger joined the first, her body clenched around him. Everything pulled tight inside her, ready to spring. And he didn’t stop touching. His lips traveled and his hand kept up the sexy torture. The rhythmic pressing that had her whole body shaking.
Her body curled forward and she knew she was on the brink. Desperate to make it end even while part of her wanted the pleasure to go on, she released her hold on the sheets. Her hand covered his as she pressed his fingers inside her even deeper.
That did it. Her body let go and her thighs trembled. The orgasm hit her with a jolt and everything inside her broke free.
She heard harsh breaths. Even picked up a rumbling groan. It took her a few breaths to realize the noises came from her. He’d spun her up until she closed her eyes and just rode the feeling.
With her eyes closed she tried to relax as the last of the pulses subsided. Every muscle turned to liquid as her hands fell to the comforter next to her thighs and stayed there. She couldn’t have moved if she wanted to. He’d left her drained and so satisfied.
As she lay there, trying to bring her breathing back under control, he leaned over her. One hand held up his hea
d and the other rested on her bare stomach.
“Okay.” She forced her eyes to open so she could stare at him a little more. “So, that was pretty great.”
He traced a fingertip around her belly button. “You’re sure about this no-fucking rule tonight? I mean, we’re clear on that, right?”
“Unfortunately.”
“This is the problem with rules.” He lowered his head and kissed along the line of her neck. “But we’ll stick to them.”
It would have been easy to just lie there and let him spin her up again. Especially since her insides had turned to goo. But she wanted more. Needed to see him lose control. “You’re the one who talked about all these things we could do instead.”
His head shot up. “I like your style, Hailey Thorne.”
Looking at him now, she could see that some of the tension that normally thrummed off of him had disappeared. From his shoulders to his body language he stayed stiff but the satisfaction in his eyes was tough to miss. And she loved that she was the one who put it there.
But she wanted more and she would bet he did, too. “Then I think you’re really going to like the next round.”
His eyes narrowed. Slight but it still happened. “Why?”
“Take your pants off and I’ll show you.”
Chapter Nine
Hailey kept her promise. That thought ran though Sawyer’s mind fifteen minutes later when he looked down his body and saw her sprawled on the mattress between his legs. Her hand wrapped around his base as she plunged him deep in her mouth.
He’d been trying to watch her the whole time. Piled the pillows behind his head to get a better view of her wet mouth. The way she licked her tongue across his tip. How she would peek up at him, all intense and hot.
He was ten seconds away from losing it.
He cupped his palm against the back of her head while his other hand curled into the sheets next to him. Tried to focus but the rhythmic pump of her hand had his hips bucking. The need to come pounded through him. He bit his lip, trying to hold off the flood of sensations. Not wanting to lose contact with her mouth or lose the feel of her body around his.
She had him mesmerized and acting stupid. Thinking dangerous things.
And then he couldn’t think at all. She sucked in while she tightened her hand and he came. Hard and fast. His shoulders off the pillows and his thighs tightening against her shoulders. By the time he fell back onto the mattress again breaths rushed out of him in heavy pants.
When she crawled up his body, he groaned. The soft brush of her hand against his dick hit him like a body slam. His suddenly sensitized skin brought pleasure to the point of pain.
At least the ache inside him had calmed. He had a feeling the relief wouldn’t last long. Just smelling her hair had his body winding up for more. Probably had something to do with the way her body sank into his as she lay on top of him with her head tucked under his chin.
He rubbed his hand over her back as he fought to keep his eyes open. “You should feel free to do that any time you want.”
She laughed and the sound wound around them. “Right there in The Bakery. I can just tell you to drop your pants?”
“Hell, yeah.” His hand closed over the one of hers resting on his chest. “Do I strike you as the shy type?”
“I’m impressed you wore pants to dinner.”
“Well, come on. I’m not an animal. I can keep my zipper up for sometimes a half hour at a time.” He could feel her smile against him and wondered what other things he could say to make that happen again. Seeing her happy made him happy, though he had no idea why.
“I’m trying to imagine Kat’s face if you walked into her place naked.”
He tried to call up a memory of Kat. All he could see was Hailey. Something about her knocked the face of every other woman out of his head. He wasn’t a commitment guy, not because he didn’t believe but because the spark had never been there and the timing had always been wrong. Just as it was wrong now. Really wrong.
He tried to stay on topic and not let his mind drift in any direction other than enjoying this moment. “Is Kat the shy type?”
Hailey lifted her head. “You think Rob would propose to a pushover?”
That part didn’t fit with the larger-than-life man he knew. “Not really.”
“She’s still in mourning. His death wiped her out. It took me months to get her to venture out of the house for more than an hour at a time.” Hailey used the tip of her fingernail to trace a pattern over his chest. “The Bakery saved her. Gave her focus and something to fill the days.”
“You probably had a lot to do with that.”
“I was a mess.” She turned over on her back, trapping his arm underneath her. “I’m still trying to fill the hours.”
A window opened into who she was and he wanted to take a long look. He rolled over, drawing his arm out from under her and balancing his weight on his elbow, and pressed in closer. “Do you work?”
“I used to write grant proposals. Give presentations.” She threw her arm across her head, covering her eyes. “I’m on leave. Rob left me enough money in addition to the property to take some time off.”
Sawyer touched her then, mostly because he couldn’t not touch her. As soon as he rested a hand on her stomach, she covered it, slipping her fingers through his but still not unshielding her eyes. “I’ve found that having too much time off means you have too much time to think.”
“You mean wallow.”
He’d tried not to use that word but since she did... “Sometimes, yes.”
“I’ve been so busy making sure Kat is okay and Jessie is okay...” She dropped her hand over her head and looked up at him. “That’s not fair. It’s not their fault. It’s mine. I’ve just felt restless, like I can’t find my place.”
“We have a lot in common.” He glanced around her bedroom. Noticed the lack of knickknacks. No piles of clothes. Just clean lines and a big comfortable bed. “More than I imagined we would.”
She snorted. “Oh, please. You survived basic and had this big career.”
“And now I’m...” Shit. There was no way he could go there and offer a big explanation. Last thing he wanted was for her to close down. Worse, to get kicked out of her bed and out of her house.
“What is it?”
He winced. “It’s business talk.”
“You can say it.” She gave his hand a squeeze as if trying to urge him on.
This felt like a trap. “I don’t think so.”
“You have my permission.”
He trusted her on that. “I’m trying to build a business so I can keep the people I care about close by and make sure they’re safe and happy.” He groaned as he fell back into the pillows again. “It sounds so fucking stupid.”
One minute he was staring at the white ceiling and the next her face hovered there. She bent down and kissed him, quick and sweet. When she started to sit up again, he caught the back of her head and brought her in for another kiss. This one long and lingering, smoldering under the surface but promising an explosion of heat.
Her foot waved in the air behind her as her body slid over his. “I think it’s sexy.”
Whatever “it” was he wanted to do it again. “Be more specific.”
“As much as the rescuer type scares me because I worry it means you can’t stop from fighting—”
“That’s not true.” She had that all messed up and wrong. He knew the confusion came from emotion and not any rational place. Still, fighting such a wrong perception proved frustrating.
“¾there is something so sexy about a man who cares that much for other people.” She brushed her fingertips over his cheek. “You cared for Rob that way, right?”
“We spent a lot of time together.” Since that sounded so superficial, Sawyer tried again. “Got to know each other. Trusted each other.”
She smiled. “Is that a yes to my question, big guy?”
Sawyer didn’t know why he avoided the answer the first
time. Some part of his mind warned him to tread carefully. “Yes.”
She laid her head on his chest as her hand slipped up and down his arm. The position got to him. The entire conversation did. Hot fucking, he could do that. The lingering after usually made him twitchy. But not today.
“I wish you’d been there,” she said.
The words wouldn’t process in his head. “Where?”
“In Afghanistan when Rob died.” She sighed and sunk deeper against him. “From what I can tell, though it’s hard because the information is confidential or whatever and no one tells us anything, he stepped up and protected everyone and took the shots.”
Every cell inside Sawyer froze. The memories he’d tried to lock away, the ones that haunted him, walloping him with guilt every day, pounded his brain. He could still smell the stale air of the encampment, see the body being carted away.
She hugged him. “But you would have saved him.”
The life drained out of Sawyer. For a few minutes he’d forgotten the truth. That he’d failed Rob.
She was wrong. Dead wrong. He’d been there and failed. And now he knew something much bigger than property stood between them.
* * *
Molly used the key to her brother’s house. Walked in with a takeout coffee cup in her hand and another one for Sawyer then stopped. Quit moving and humming. Something wasn’t right. The usual sounds of the house waking up in the morning and the smell of breakfast didn’t fill the air.
That would teach her to drop by unannounced.
She was just about to call out when she heard footsteps. Jason peeked around the corner from the extra bedroom. The one he was staying in until the place he intended to share with Marcus was ready. Jason had refused to make the back-and-forth drive from Marcus’s current apartment in Coronado, way down south below downtown, every day.
Molly hated the roommate setup. It made the casual drop-in to visit with Sawyer tough. There was usually at least one other man, and sometimes more, hanging around. The fact he used the rental as his home and office didn’t help the privacy issue either.
Chain of Command Page 9