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Chain of Command

Page 21

by HelenKay Dimon


  That meant he’d have to deal with Jason and the looks from the women tomorrow. Everyone would know their business by morning and be ready to offer an opinion. Even though Sawyer liked being surrounded by friends and family the lack of privacy sucked, especially at times like this. But he didn’t have a choice. Through it all he needed her safe.

  “I can go home,” she said with most of the heat gone from her voice.

  “I’m not a total dick.” She still didn’t get it. “Could you just humor me and do it so I know you’re not out on that big property alone and fumbling for your keys in the dark? It’s either that or I follow you in my car and then sleep in it in your driveway, which is fine with me. You pick.”

  She nodded and reached for the doorknob. “I’ll text.”

  He should have known she’d pick the option that meant leaving him behind. Story of his fucking life.

  Chapter Twenty

  Hailey had spent the night on the far edge of one side of Jessie’s bed, staring at the wall. Jason had the couch and Kat the extra bedroom. Even with the house being full, the person who mattered the most wasn’t there.

  When Hailey showed up, unannounced, and scared the crap out of everyone, she didn’t really have a choice but to deliver an abbreviated version of what happened. Then she slipped into Jessie’s bedroom to hide.

  Hailey had wanted to go straight home but Sawyer’s concerns made sense. And home now reminded her of Sawyer. The idea of being in bed without him made her feel raw and achy. The man had gotten under her skin and worked his way into her life so that she now couldn’t imagine getting through a day without seeing him.

  That would end when she didn’t pick his business plan. He talked a good game about keeping things separate, but he was a man and the refusal would put a wedge between them. Not that she didn’t like the idea of a gun range. She just didn’t know what she needed or wanted right now. That meant she couldn’t meet his deadline.

  But that was just one problem. Morning had come and she now sat curled up in the oversized chair in the family room with her feet tucked underneath her. She’d stuck around for coffee after Jason headed out. That meant spilling every detail to Kat and Jessie. Telling them all about the sheriff’s letter, which Hailey had just done.

  And now her friends stared at her. Sat on the couch next to each other wearing matching frowns and holding mugs with daisies on them.

  She waited for some sort of reaction. Anger, disbelief...breathing.

  “Huh.” Jessie took a sip then made the noise a second time.

  Not exactly the loyal response Hailey expected. “That’s all you’ve got to say?”

  Jessie made a face. “I don’t get it.”

  “Don’t get what?”

  “You knew he wanted the property. He’s always wanted the property.” Jessie shot a quick look at Kat. “Why is this a surprise?”

  Maybe she’d skipped a part. To Hailey the facts seemed clear. Sawyer thought she would just come around. For some reason that annoyed the crap out of her. “He has a deadline. He has to act or he’ll lose the approval.”

  This time Jessie hummed before responding. “And?”

  From the joint staring being aimed at her, Hailey decided she’d definitely forgotten a major part of the explanation. “The only thing he’s doing to meet that deadline is wooing me.”

  Jessie smiled. “Which is cute.”

  “No...I...” Hailey remembered the role Sawyer played in smoothing things out for Jessie yesterday and how nice he and his friends were to her. To all of them. Those actions clearly colored the reaction now...at least she thought that sounded logical. She looked to Kat for reassurance. “You get it, right?”

  “Uh, yeah.” She tilted her head to the side. “Sure.”

  Jessie snorted. “That sounded convincing.”

  In another ten seconds her head would explode. Hailey was sure of it.

  “Well, wait a second,” Kat unfolded her legs and leaned forward to put her mug on a magazine on the table. “The letter and what it says compared to how Sawyer has dealt with you and everything between you guys smells fishy. I agree.”

  Finally. Not a ringing endorsement for her side of the argument last night, but at least Hailey no longer felt as if she were losing her mind. The longer she sat there, in the quiet as they watched her, the doubts crept in. A twisting started in her stomach and she had to fight the urge to double over.

  She looked at Jessie. “See?”

  “No.” Jessie cradled her mug as her expression grew more serious. “If we were talking about any other man. If he didn’t look at you the way he does. If he didn’t have his friends help move me then stick around to clean up—”

  Kat nodded. “If he didn’t insist you text him last night so he knew you were safe, which was not only sweet but smart.”

  “Not to mention his assistance in the Pete situation on more than one occasion.” Jessie paled a little when she mentioned her ex’s name.

  “Right. Without all of that I’d be skeptical. But this is Sawyer.” Kat made the comment with such certainty. She acted as if she’d known Sawyer forever. As if he’d been part of her family and always been around.

  “We barely know him.” Hailey hated to point out that hard truth, but there it was. They cited all these strengths when really they may not have had enough time to learn the negatives.

  Jessie glared at her. “Right because the length of time you’ve known him is related to how much you like him.”

  Since this could lead back to a memory of Pete, Hailey treaded carefully. “Your point is?”

  Jessie held her finger and thumb close together. “You are an inch away from tripping and falling in love with this guy.”

  Too late. That Hailey knew with absolute clarity. She’d figured it out while the minutes ticked by. It’s why the idea of Sawyer hanging around until she said yes or no on the property then moving on hurt so much. Why every doubt got magnified and every disappointment struck like a death blow.

  The man she’d grown to love was good and decent. Deep down she knew that was the real Sawyer. But worries crept in. The property, a gift from Rob that meant so much, could ruin everything.

  Part of her wanted to take the acreage out of the equation and give Sawyer what he wanted. Another part wanted him to prove it didn’t matter. She hated both sides. They depended on playing games and posturing. She didn’t want her great love—and that’s what she feared Sawyer might be to her—to be wrapped up in all that nonsense.

  Since the battle still waged inside her, she tried to skip over the topic. “We’re not talking about my feelings.”

  “I didn’t hear a denial.” Jessie leaned forward with her elbows balanced on her knees.

  Kat whistled. “Nope.”

  “Is it possible that maybe, just maybe, that’s really what has you running scared here?” Jessie asked.

  “Everything he says and does rings true.” Kat found her smile again. “And Rob liked him.”

  “That’s basically the argument Sawyer used.” Give him the property because Rob said he could have it. Hailey felt that tug.

  Jessie nodded. “Smart man.”

  To Hailey, her friends still missed the point. The argument put her in the role of the bad guy. Also made her feel as if she were living in a house that shouldn’t be hers and only was because of a fluke of timing. The whole thing gave her the sensation of being manipulated. “I can’t help feeling like I’m being used.”

  “In a way you are.”

  Jessie sputtered in the middle of taking another sip. “Kat.”

  “What? He needs the land, but the difference is where other people will make you big promises and then disappoint you, Sawyer doesn’t promise anything and I think he’s prepared to stick around for the long haul.”

  Jessie returned to her “huh” response but this time she filled in the blanks. “He does spend most of his time looking at you like he wants to carry you off.”

  The thought stunned Hailey
. She’d noticed the smile and that sexy winking thing he did now and then. The energy zipping between them was tough to miss. But if he’d started some sort of caveman impressions, she’d missed it. “Is that good?”

  Jessie glared. “You know it is.”

  Yeah, she did. But that didn’t answer her questions and Hailey just kept adding more to the list. “So, what do I do?”

  Kat blew on her coffee even though it had to have long ago gone cold. “Good question.”

  “I’m serious. Help.”

  “You are asking for assistance?” Jessie asked, sounded shocked by the possibility.

  Hailey knew she rarely asked. She preferred to be the helper. She liked things her way and could be bossy. That was a fair criticism. But Sawyer had her treading water. “You guys have emotional distance. I don’t.”

  One of Jessie’s eyebrows lifted. “Are you also admitting you love him?”

  Hailey refused to get sucked into that conversation. “Answer my question.”

  Kat waved them both off. “Show him why you’re uncomfortable. Don’t let this fester.”

  “Uh-huh.” Jessie nodded. “And then strip the guy naked, have sex and work this out.”

  Hailey thought that last part showed promise.

  * * *

  Sawyer sat at his kitchen counter the next morning. He’d been sitting there for hours with his head in his hands, staring at the lines in the granite.

  Jason had called. Marcus had called. Hell, Will called. Most everyone checked in, including Hailey.

  She’d sent a curt text asking him to come over. Sawyer guessed he was about to hear a lecture on how she needed space. That’s why he didn’t get in the car and rush over.

  The idea of space suddenly sucked.

  He heard the key in the lock and figured Jason had come home. Not being in a rush to have a conversation about how he ended up alone last night, Sawyer didn’t move. Kept his head tucked.

  “You okay?” Jason’s voice rang out from the other side of the island and not from the family room.

  Sawyer schooled his muscled to keep from jerking at the unexpected direction of the sound. “No.”

  “Well, that’s honest.” Jason groaned as he flattened a hand against the counter. “So, last night.”

  There was no reason to play dumb. Hailey had likely told her friends, which meant Jason knew some of the facts and Molly soon would. The gossip circle would be buzzing at full speed very soon. “She saw the letter from the sheriff.”

  “What letter?”

  Sawyer lifted his head. “Yeah, I hadn’t seen it either, despite what she thinks.”

  “I’m still lost.”

  “He put his timeline in a letter and emailed it over. It was on the desk when she got here.” Sawyer nodded toward the family room. “It’s on the desk now.”

  He didn’t want to review the letter or walk through it with Jason. The stupid piece of paper had ruined his night and had the potential to destroy whatever was building with Hailey. The last thing Sawyer wanted to do was rehash it now.

  No, now he had to go face whatever lay ahead of him. Possibly the end of his relationship with Hailey or another round of arguing. He dreaded both.

  He stood up and patted his back pockets. Glanced around trying to remember where he dropped his keys.

  “Where are you going?” Jason asked.

  “Hailey’s house.”

  “Is that wise? Maybe you should let her cool off.”

  All good advice. If the roles were reversed, Sawyer would likely say the same thing. “She texted a few minutes ago and asked me to come over.”

  Jason shook his head. “And off you run.”

  That had his temper spiking. “Meaning?”

  “You have it bad for her.”

  Like that, the heat left him again. Sawyer thought about denying the comment, but why bother. It wasn’t as if he could hide it. Forget a slow and steady build. His feelings had exploded. Blown into something huge. The intensity of it all shocked him.

  Ticked him off a bit too since his life careened out of control. “Tell me something I don’t know.”

  Jason stood up and his eyes widened. “Wow.”

  Not really the response Sawyer expected. “What?”

  “I thought you’d fight it and deny.” Jason shrugged. “Most men do and you’re a bit more anticommitment than most. Or you were.”

  Some men played games and insisted they remain alone. Sawyer knew the drill. Hell, he’d been a prime example of that life philosophy for a long time. He’d stayed unattached and shunned commitment. It all made sense to him, especially when his work had been so dangerous and involved all that traveling and moving around. Asking someone else to take that on seemed shitty to him. And, really, he’d never been interested in rethinking his life plan before now.

  Now he wanted to settle down. He didn’t go looking for a girlfriend. He wanted a business and a calm life with steady hours. He found Hailey and nothing had been the same since.

  “I want her so much I can barely see straight.” And that was the truth. Maybe even an understatement. His need for her nearly knocked him over. It was this huge, pounding sensation that swallowed everything else.

  “Are we saying the same thing?” Jason tapped his fingers against the counter. “I wonder if you’re just talking sex or if you want something bigger.”

  Sawyer didn’t have to weigh that one. He knew.

  “I’m not limiting it to sex.” This went beyond the bedroom, though that part rocked him. What he used to think of as fucking—hot and sweaty—took on another component. “If she breaks up with me when I get over there, you’ll see.”

  It would fucking break him, which was just plain sad. He’d been in combat and dealt in death. He traveled and barely had a home, all after surviving an emotionless childhood. But this—her—one woman, had the power to bring it all crashing down. Sawyer wanted to call it weakness but with her he felt strangely powerful.

  Jason winced. “I’m sorry, man.”

  From the tone of his voice Sawyer knew his friend got it. No more explanations were needed. But Sawyer did need to take some responsibility for the trainwreck unfolding in front of him. “I did this.”

  “Then you should be able to fix it.”

  Funny how Jason’s sympathy or whatever it was seemed to disappear in a flash. “Does it work that easily for you?”

  “Nothing about women works for me.” Jason exhaled. “Go talk with Hailey. Try to win her back. Honestly? She was a mess when she got in last night.”

  The tone and the words didn’t match. Neither did the look on Jason’s face. “Then why are you smiling?”

  Jason looked ready to laugh. “I think that’s a good sign for you.”

  Maybe, but still. “I don’t want her miserable.”

  “Why not? You are.”

  Sawyer couldn’t deny that. “Love sucks.”

  Chapter Twenty-One

  Jason’s words still rang in Sawyer’s ears as he drove up to Hailey’s house after being buzzed through the gate. He walked, almost in a daze, to the front door, half expecting her to come out swinging that bat.

  He had no idea why she wanted him here today. Maybe this was the final moment. The last meeting where she ended it all, personal and business. A hollow sensation caved in his stomach just thinking that might be the case.

  The door opened and she waited on the other side of the screen. He didn’t make a move. Just stood there, searching his mind for the best welcome.

  “Hey.” Not his finest move or greatest line, but at least he managed to say something.

  She opened the door and gestured for him to move. “Come in.”

  He’d practiced a little speech on the way over. Something about him understanding her anger but explaining how he had limits in how he treated people, even when money was involved. He liked to think he had a strong character but she had him doubting his every move. He needed her to know him on this level, as decent.

 
As he stood in the middle of her family room, all the words fell away. He couldn’t mentally grab even one sentence. Moving on little sleep and hopped up on caffeine, the rational side of his brain failed him. He wanted to plead his case even as he grew more ticked off at thinking he had to.

  The only other thing he could do was spill it. Tell her every move that brought him to her. “Look, Hailey—”

  “Come here.” She reached out a hand to him.

  He had no idea what this meant or why she seemed to be leaning toward a peaceful discussion today after last night’s heated one. But he could see the darkness under her eyes and exhaustion pulling around her mouth. Looked like their few hours apart hadn’t been any easier on her than it had been on him.

  Rather than point that out, he enjoyed the feeling of her warm hand in his. She guided him through the family room and into a small doorway to the one room he hadn’t seen. The one with the closed door. The only one where they hadn’t had sex.

  He glanced inside the room and saw a desk with papers stacked on it and boxes on the floor by the side of the chair. Other than a window and bookcases, the room looked empty. Certainly lifeless compared to the colors and comfort of the rest of the house. Sawyer didn’t even see a photo on the wall.

  He guessed this acted as an office of some kind, but he didn’t know if the paperwork belonged to Rob or to her. “What’s all this?”

  “Evidence of the people wanting a piece of the land.”

  The words didn’t really make sense in Sawyer’s head, so he moved in closer, trying to get a look at some of the files and headers on the letters. “What?”

  “These are a portion of the proposals, suggestions, requests and offers people have made to me since Rob’s death. But it’s only a fraction of what Rob reviewed. Those boxes are in storage.” She stepped up beside Sawyer and put her hand first on the top of the highest pile then swept it across the binders and down toward the floor. “That box has sales materials, like brochures and that sort of stuff.”

  Someone had put a lot of work into winning her over. Not just one someone. A lot of them. Businesses and community groups. Just a cursory look at the names of the businesses and individuals who chimed in gave Sawyer a headache.

 

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