by Linda Bridey
Joe watched Lacey carefully. There was a sadness in her eyes that hadn’t been there before. She didn’t say anything for long moments and Joe stopped smiling. “Lacey, I know you’re mad at me for leavin’ like I did, and I don’t blame you.”
Lacey took a few steps towards him. She looked at the man she’d fallen in love with and wondered how she’d ever been so stupid. He’d told her he’d always protect her and be there for her. Joe hadn’t made good on his promise and it infuriated her. All of her fury and grief went into the slap she dealt to the left side of his face.
Her blow was so forceful that it sent Joe back pedaling a few steps. Joe put a hand to his face that now stung and looked at Lacey in disbelief. “What the hell was that for?” he demanded.
Lacey said, “You’re right, Joe. I am angry. I’m furious. You left in the middle of the party that we worked so hard to put together so we could make you feel better. You were rude and disrespectful and left me to make excuses as to where you went.”
“I know. I’m—“
“Shut up!” she screamed. “I had to face the very real possibility that I might end up a widow because you were going to kill your father and would probably be arrested and hanged. All of that was bad enough, but you know what the worst thing was, Joe?”
Joe didn’t respond and she didn’t really seem to be expecting an answer from him.
She gave him an angry smile. “The worst thing was realizing that revenge was more important to the man I’d fallen in love with than I was. That the man who had promised to always have my best interests at heart had left me when I needed him most!”
“Lacey, what are you talking about?” Joe said. “What the hell happened?”
Tears began falling from Lacey’s eyes, but she didn’t realize it. “I was pregnant, Joe. Pregnant!”
Joe’s shock drained the blood from his face. “We’re going to have a baby?” Then he started to smile. “That’s great! I mean, I know that we—“
“Shut up, you ass!” she screamed again. “I said that I was pregnant, not that I am, Joe. I lost our baby while you went off to Texas! I had the worst possible thing happen to me and my husband wasn’t here to help me. Thank God I had all of my friends, but the one person I wanted most in the world wasn’t here because his own needs were more important than mine.
“You’re good at that, Joe. If something involves your needs or wants, it’s important enough for you to pay attention. Well, guess what, Joe? The world doesn’t revolve around you! There are other people in your life who are just as important as you are. How did I not see that when we first met? How was I so wrong about you?”
Joe said, “You weren’t, Lacey. I swear. You saw something in me that I didn’t even know existed. Darlin’, I’m so sorry about our baby. I am. I went to Texas to talk to my father. Not to kill him, just to talk to him. You can ask Seth and Luke. They found me and were with me while I talked to him.”
Lacey said, “That’s nice. I’m glad that you didn’t intend to kill him. You could have at least told me that much.”
“Lacey, I went there for us,” Joe said. He was reeling from the fact that she loved him and that she’d been pregnant and lost the baby. “I did it so that he would never bother us again and we could live in peace. If I’d have known about the baby before I left, I wouldn’t have gone.”
Lacey shook her head. “I don’t believe you. I think you’re just that selfish that you would have gone anyway because you were on a mission to avenge that fire being set. I can’t trust you. I’m sure you had female company while you were gone, right? Joe Dwyer draws women wherever he goes, so I’m sure you weren’t lonely at night.”
Joe said, “Lacey, I’ve never touched another woman since you and I got married. Honey, I love you and I would never cheat on you.”
His admission of love brought her up short for a moment, and then she laughed and wagged a finger at him. “You’re good, Joe. Real good. If you think that you telling me you love me is going to make me forgive you, you can think again. I’m not that gullible anymore, Joe. I’m not the same innocent, shy, scared woman you first met. I have you to thank for that.”
“I’m not handing you a line, Lacey. I love you. I’m in love with you. I’ve never felt that way about a woman before,” Joe said. “Please believe me.”
Lacey said, “I’ve moved into one of the other bedrooms, so you’re free to do whatever you wish. I don’t want to talk to you any more than necessary. I don’t want to see you any more than I have to.”
“What kind of marriage is that?” Joe asked.
“An arranged marriage. Neither one of us was looking for love, Joe. You got what you wanted and so did I. Now we just happen to live in the same house. I do still intend to train horses and I don’t want you to interfere. If you can’t agree to that, I’ll start divorce proceedings. There was never any prenuptial agreement signed, so I would stand to gain quite a bit of money,” Lacey said. “Good day, Joe.”
Joe watched her walk past him and sank down on the bed as he attempted to absorb everything that Lacey had just told him.
Chapter Nineteen
Maddie sat at her kitchen table with Dean and Tessa when Seth came in the door.
“I’m home!” he called out.
Maddie got up and ran to him. Seth wrapped his arms around her and picked her up. Their kiss was passionate and lasted a long while. Dean cleared his throat but Seth didn’t care. Trouble had heard his master’s voice and was now dancing around Seth and Maddie. Finally they parted and smiled at each other.
“Lord, I missed you, woman,” Seth said.
Maddie smiled at him with love in her eyes. “I missed you, too.”
Seth slowly let her slide to the floor and they walked out to the kitchen again. Tessa came to hug him.
“Everyone missed you,” she told him.
“Yeah,” Dean said. “We’re tired of doing all of your work.” He smiled at Seth.
Seth said, “You’ll get over it. Let me get cleaned up a little. I stink.”
“You said it,” Dean said.
Seth gave him a rude Lakota hand gesture and went to wash up. Trouble trailed behind Seth.
“I know what that means!” Dean hollered after him.
When Seth returned, he felt much better. He’d washed away the road grime and changed into clean clothes. Tessa was cooking something on the stove. His stomach rumbled loudly and Dean laughed. Seth kissed Maddie again and took J.R. from her.
“Hi, little man. How have you been?” he asked as he held the baby up.
J.R. gurgled and smiled at him.
“Look how big you got while I was gone! That’s why Pa doesn’t like going away so much anymore. He misses your Mama and you too much,” Seth said and then cradled his son.
Dean could see the weariness in his brother’s face. “How’s the leg doing?”
“Hurts like hell,” Seth said without thinking as he rubbed it with his free hand.
Tessa laughed as she put eggs and toast on a plate and sat it in front of Seth. Then she poured coffee for him.
“Sorry about the cussing, ladies. That looks incredible,” Seth said.
Maddie asked, “Do you want me to take J.R. so you can eat?”
“Nope. I’m fine,” Seth said, shifting J.R. a little on his lap. He had no trouble eating one handed. He’d missed their baby terribly and didn’t want to give him up. “So how’s things?”
Tessa served everyone else coffee and sat down. “Ok, for the most part,” she said.
Dean smiled at her use of the word “ok”. It had taken a while, but Tessa was starting to use more informal words and phrases.
Seth looked at her. “What’s that mean?”
They told him about what had happed to Lacey and Seth put down his fork. “That’s a damn shame. I wonder how Joe’s gonna take that news?”
Maddie said, “I don’t know, but Lacey’s not the same woman he knew. I’m not sure how it’s going to turn out between them.”
Dean
said, “Losing a baby changes a person.”
Tessa squeezed his hand. She knew that Dean still felt the loss of his and Sarah’s baby.
Looking down at his son, Seth said, “I can understand that. I don’t know what I’d do if something ever happened to J.R.”
Maddie said, “I’ve been going over with Marcus every day to see Lacey. She seems to be doing better, but she’s so angry with Joe. Oh! Tessa! I figured out why you don’t like Joe.”
“Oh? Why is that?” Tessa asked.
“I can’t believe we haven’t seen it before now. He reminds me a little of Theo,” Maddie said.
Tessa froze as she thought about that. Joe’s mannerisms and personality were very much like Theo’s. His eyes were hazel, but in certain lights they were more green than brown. He had a disarming smile and a mischievous glint in his eyes much the same way Theo always did.
“Maddie, you’re absolutely right!” Tessa said. “No wonder I disliked him on sight. Oh, I feel so bad. It’s not his fault that he resembles Theo. He doesn’t know anything about Theo.”
“I know,” Maddie said. “You would have thought it was me that wouldn’t have liked him, but I have no problem with Joe at all.”
Guilt filled Tessa. “I shall apologize to him when I see him again.”
Dean said, “Don’t feel too badly about it, honey. Joe’s a forgiving person most of the time.”
Seth nodded as he finished his coffee. He yawned and J.R. found that funny.
“When he smiles like that, he looks like you, Maddie,” Seth said.
She smiled. “Yes, I think he does. Seth, why don’t you take a nap? I know you don’t normally do that, but I’m sure you’re exhausted.”
Seth handed J.R. to Maddie and said, “You’re right. I am exhausted. A nap sounds like a good idea.” He kissed Maddie as he got up. “See you later, folks.”
*****
Joe sat in his old room for quite a while after Lacey left him. He picked apart everything that Lacey had said and saw that she was right. Putting his head in his hands, Joe saw the predicament he’d put her in the night of the party and how he’d hurt her so badly. It was true that it was disrespectful and inconsiderate of him to run out on the party like that. He hadn’t fully appreciated all the effort everyone had put forth to pull off something like that.
Lacey had been pregnant when he left, but neither had known it at the time. Joe meant what he’d said about not going to Texas if he would have known about the baby. He cursed himself for being so stupid and stubborn about going to confront his father. Luke was right; he should have just left well enough alone.
Joe couldn’t sit still any longer as thoughts of Lacey losing the baby invaded his mind. Going out into the hallway, Joe saw Lacey down at the end of it in the dining room. She turned and saw him and a look of loathing crossed her face. Lacey turned back around and walked out to the kitchen. Joe felt desolate as he crossed through the dining room and exited the house through the sunroom. It was the most direct way to the barns from the house.
He ran down to the barn at full speed. He had to get out of there for a while. When Eddie asked if he could help him, Joe waved him off. Taking a horse named Macbeth from his stall, Joe threw a saddle and bridle on him and tore out of the barn. Mac, as he was called, was a beautiful dappled gray Arabian stallion. The horse was only too happy to travel at the high speed Joe wanted from him.
Joe needed to see Luke and Jamie. He needed some friendly faces and a drink. He knew that he would find both at his best friends’ bunkhouse. Mac got Joe there in record speed. The stallion tore up the lane to skid to a stop by Tessa and Dean’s house. Joe jumped down just as Tessa came out. She’d seen a horse coming up to the house at top speed and wondered what was wrong.
Joe saw her and said, “Tessa, I can’t deal with your crap right now, ok? Please?”
“Joe, I’m not trying to give you any trouble,” Tessa said.
Joe’s anguish was intense and he made Tessa a target for his anger. “That’s bull. You’ve hated me from day one when I’ve never done a damn thing to you. I’ve been nothing but nice to you, but you’ve been cold to me and never let me forget that I don’t measure up to your high standards! Well, you’re not the only one that hates me. My wife has joined you in that.”
Tessa didn’t take offense to what he said because it was true. “I’m so sorry for my behavior, Joe. I can explain.”
Joe began to cry as he yelled, “I don’t care about your explanations! I’ve lost my wife and we lost our baby and I don’t need your high and mighty attitude. Don’t you understand? I lost the only woman I’ve ever loved over something that I thought was so important that really wasn’t!”
Dean had heard the commotion and came out of the barn.
“You probably even helped turn her against me,” Joe shouted.
“No, Joe, I didn’t,” Tessa protested.
Joe made a sarcastic noise. “I’m just the no good playboy who’s selfish and only out for a good time, right?”
Dean’s expression became angry. “Joe, you better stop yelling at my wife or I’m going to put you on your ass.”
Tessa turned to Dean and said, “Don’t you dare. Leave him alone. I can handle this.”
Dean’s eyebrows rose, but he recognized Tessa’s firm tone and stayed quiet.
She looked at Joe again and her heart went out to him as she watched him wipe his nose on his sleeve. “Joe, I would never try to sway Lacey’s opinion of you like that.”
“You know what’s so horrible about this? It’s all true! All my life I’ve been out for a good time. Drinking, women, gambling, and whatever else fun came along. That’s been a huge part of my life. But you know what’s also been there with all of that? I’ve always cared about this town and this county. I’ve tried to help people when I can. I’ve lent money to people who couldn’t get a bank loan. I’ve given food to people who couldn’t afford to buy any and I’ve tipped people really well because I appreciate what they do for me.”
Joe stopped to take a breath. “But does anyone see that? Does anyone remember that kind of stuff? No. Or maybe they do and only want to be around me for my money. I don’t know, but Lacey—” his voice broke. “She was different. She saw beneath all of that. When she wrote me that letter begging for my help, I couldn’t stand thinking that someone was hurting her. I sent her money and told her to come here. I promised that I wouldn’t let anyone hurt her ever again. Tessa, I broke that promise because I’m the one who hurt her.”
Luke and Jamie came out of their bunkhouse, but Tessa held up a hand telling them to not interfere. She walked closer to Joe and said, “Sometimes we can’t see what’s right in front of us, Joe, but that doesn’t make you a bad person. Sometimes we hurt the people we value and love the most, but that doesn’t mean that you don’t love them.”
Joe cleared his throat and said, “I wanted to protect her because I couldn’t protect my Mama. I wanted to make her laugh and have fun because she had such a horrible life. Her father used to beat her, did you know that? The day she arrived here, she still had a bruise on her face. I wanted to kill the bastard.”
“I understand that feeling all too well,” Tessa said. “I’ve wanted to do the same thing to Maddie’s attacker, so I’ve been in your shoes.”
“What am I supposed to do now? I’ve lost the best thing that’s ever happened to me. And we lost a baby. Until she told me about being pregnant, I didn’t know I wanted a baby and then when she told me she’d lost it, it hurt so bad. It hurts like hell, Tessa. I don’t know how I’m supposed to go on. I don’t know what to do with all of this,” Joe said and broke down completely.
Tessa went to him and wrapped her arms around him. “It’ll be all right, Joe.”
Joe hung onto her and when his knees buckled, she sank down with him and held him. She rocked him the way she rocked one of her children when they were upset or sick. Tessa stroked his back and murmured words of comfort to him. They sat there like that for a
long time.
Eventually Joe got himself under control and raised his head from Tessa’s shoulder. “Does this mean that you like me a little?” he asked.
Tessa laughed. “Yes. That’s what it means.”
He smiled and said, “It’s about time.” He got up off the ground and helped her up.
Tessa brushed off her dress and said, “Joe, I really do owe you a huge apology. I couldn’t figure out my aversion to you until Maddie found the answer. You reminded me of the man who attacked Maddie.”
Joe blinked a few times. “I remind you of a violent scumbag?”
Tessa’s flushed face showed her embarrassment. “You act very much alike. I mean, when Theo was our friend. You’re both fun and mischievous. You’re very charming, too. But that’s as far as it goes. I now see that you’re nothing alike. I’m so sorry. Can you forgive me?”
Joe laughed and said, “Considering that you just held me while I cried like a baby, I think I can forgive you.”
Tessa held out her hand. “Friends?”
Ignoring her hand, Joe pulled her into a hug. “Thank you.”
“You’re welcome.”
*****
Sitting in Jamie and Luke’s bunkhouse, Joe had three shots and then sat quietly. He was tired from being on the road and all of the emotional upheaval that had taken place. Joe was good at thinking on his feet and coming up with solutions to problems. When Joe wanted something, he went after it and didn’t stop until he got it. It was one of the things that made him a successful businessman. Right now, he wanted his wife back and he was going to do whatever it took to do that.
Luke watched Joe sit in the chair with his eyes closed. This was something Joe did when he was working on a plan. He felt so bad for both Joe and Lacey. He was glad to see that Joe could admit when he was wrong and he thought that Joe was growing up a little. Joe opened his eyes and looked at Luke.
“I’m going to get my wife back if it’s the last thing I do,” he said.
Luke knew from the determined expression on Joe’s face that he meant it. Joe was like the proverbial dog with a bone and wouldn’t rest until he’d accomplished his mission.