“No, I ruined it six years ago.”
“There was nothing to ruin. It was a week. A flash in the pan.” God, how saying those words hurt.
“I shouldn’t have asked you to marry me—”
“I really don’t want to hear this—”
“Listen to me, Blair.”
She turned away.
“Please.”
She didn’t want to do this. It was enough that she’d fooled herself into thinking there might be a chance for them. But to have him come and tell her he shouldn’t have proposed was too much.
Reluctantly, she turned toward him again.
“I shouldn’t have asked you to marry me then because it was wrong not to consider your feelings.” He drew in a breath. “Remember how I told you we all pretend?”
Somehow, she nodded.
“I wanted it all, Blair. I wanted you and the job of avenging David. I needed to hold on to something stable so I wouldn’t have to accept that David was gone. But I didn’t want to admit to those feelings. I was pretending to cope, so I could do what I had to do. Meeting you gave me something I thought I could control, something I could make work. Not like David’s death. I asked you to marry me for all the wrong reasons. If you had accepted, you would have paid the price for my selfishness.”
Blair didn’t know what to say. Her thoughts crowded in on themselves.
“I’d never been in love before,” Michael continued. “I’d always sort of played at it, you know? And there you were. This beautiful girl I couldn’t keep my hands off. I thought if I showed you excitement, you’d fall in love with me, too.”
She sat down across from him, in Drew’s recliner. “You never said—”
“I never said I love you.” His eyes burned into her. “No, I didn’t. I guess I wanted you to say it first. I thought you’d say it after I asked you to marry me. Your answer floored me.”
She’d struggled for so long to forget that day, but Michael’s words brought it all back.
“We’d just made love. In the car, Blair,” his voice dropped. “It was incredible. We’d risked being seen, we both knew people ran along Sunrise Cove, but we couldn’t stop.”
Oh, God, how she remembered.
His deep voice continued. “It hurt, it was so unexpected, when you said no.”
She wanted to tell him she was sorry. Explain how many times she’d regretted the decision. Explain how many other times she’d known it was the right thing to do.
“I regretted asking you. I regretted everything I said. When you didn’t call, I imagined that you were pregnant and alone. I started to call, then Drew mentioned that you were back in college and he didn’t seem upset, so I reasoned you weren’t pregnant. I spoke with Alice and she never said a word, though I think she knew something happened between us.”
“I should have called. You would have known then.”
“I left you in anger, Blair. I didn’t expect you to call.” He leaned forward, adjusting the sling across his chest. “I never expected to fall in love. I don’t think I admitted it was love until I saw you again. Admitting it would have made me accept David’s death and make hard choices about life.”
Michael took a deep breath. He could tell he’d wounded her with his honesty. But she had to understand. “You’re a Davenport. I’m the guy looking for excitement, looking to prove myself. I worked for that from the time I left high school. Then I joined the Bureau, David died and, bang! There you were. Beautiful, rich Blair Davenport. Who didn’t need me for anything.”
She looked back at him with her eyes wide, her mouth trembling.
“I needed you,” he said softly. “I needed you to provide an anchor for me after David.”
A single tear rolled down her cheek. She said, “You scared me to death.”
“How?”
“All that energy. You lived every moment so completely. I couldn’t hope to keep up.”
“It was all I had to give. After you, those things we did, flying, sailing, sitting on a damn porch, none of those were the same. The excitement wasn’t in doing them. It was in being with you, but I’d been too stupid to know it.”
“But those things are a part of you. It was your dedication to your job I couldn’t hope to compete with or live with.”
God, what a fool he’d been. “I should have explained things.”
“I can’t tell you it would have made any difference.” She took a ragged breath. “I clung to this dream of what my life would be, sort of waited for it to come and get me.”
“There’s nothing wrong with that.”
“After you, I realized I had to take control of my life.”
“But you had everything.”
“Except purpose.” She looked down at the floor for a few moments. “If I’d said yes to you, I would have fallen in to this pattern of dependency. You would be my world.” Her gaze sought his. “And you weren’t going to be there. You were going away.”
“I made a mistake, Blair. A horrible one that kept us apart. We could have worked it out.”
“No, Michael. We couldn’t have. Because as much as I wanted to say yes to you, I knew I couldn’t make me work in the relationship. There was no me.”
He was too scared to ask. But she was worth the risk. “What about now?”
Her breath caught. “You love what you do. My fear would be nothing but a millstone around your neck.”
He’d had a lot of time to think during the days when she’d stayed away. He’d been right. He’d understood her reasons. “There are other jobs.”
She shook her head, her eyes so sad. “They’re not for you. This is for you. Remember, I saw you, hurt, on the run, trying to figure out what was going on. You have to have that challenge.”
“There are other challenges, niña. I talked to lots of people, had friends pull strings. I’ve put in a request for a change of duty that’s been granted. I’ll be on a bank robbery task force, no more undercover.”
“Is that what you want?”
“Yes.” He was sure of it. “The job will be a new challenge.” He tried to smile, but wondered if his lips had turned up in desperation or humor. She could still say no.
“Then you’ll love it.”
Now. He had to do it now. While he still had the nerve. “I love you, Blair. I don’t want you sitting home waiting for me. I want to grow old with you. I’m not going to do anything to risk that. This job’s as safe as it gets.” He paused, sure he had her full attention, scared beyond belief. “Will you marry me? Will you start a brand new life with me? One we can build together?”
Blair wondered if her mouth were hanging open. Never, even in her wildest dreams, had she imagined—dared hope—that Michael would ever want anything other than the thrill, the danger.
“After the past month” he continued, “I don’t think I have it in me to expose myself to getting hurt again. The arm’s going to heal, but I’m thirty-five. It’s time to concentrate on a future.”
“But you love the work. You love the chase.”
“That part won’t change, but I don’t want to deliberately put myself in the line of fire anymore. I don’t know how long I haven’t wanted it. Maybe for the past six years. I did it because it was what David and I wanted growing up. Part of the rush. It was what I expected. I never expected to meet you.”
Blair focused her attention on his eyes, so intensely dark.
“I want you, Blair. A real life with you.”
A tiny sliver of hope shone in the dark that had been her life for days. “I don’t want to be responsible for making you change your life.”
“There’s no getting away from that. You have. Loving you has changed it. I want to change my life. I want you. But even if you refuse me again, I won’t go back to the risks I took.”
She looked at him, sitting so still on her brother’s couch, his left arm immobilized. She’d loved him from the moment she’d seen him, from their first dance at Mitzi’s party. She’d loved him when she refu
sed his proposal, loved him when he showed up at the beach, loved him when he lay unconscious in the hospital. She would love him even when there was no breath in her body.
“Then you’ll need someone to come home to at night.” She hoped the little quiver in her voice hadn’t been as pronounced as it sounded. He’d given up the most dangerous aspect of his job. No, he wouldn’t be one-hundred-percent safe, but she could live with this.
Michael smiled. That heart-warming smile she wanted all to herself. “Does that mean—?”
“I love you, Michael.” She took a deep breath. “Yes, I’ll marry you.”
He turned serious, his eyes on her face. “Then you’d better come here, niña. I think I used up all my energy on the way over.”
Blair stood on shaky legs and slowly made her away toward the couch. It was the final journey. She sat down next to him and he shifted to put his right arm around her.
“I’m hurt worse than I was after the knifing.” He sounded so serious.
“I know.”
“What my body says it can do and what it can really do, might be at odds for a few more days.”
She smiled. “I’ll take my chances.”
Epilogue
“Do you want to go out for dinner, Mrs. Alvarez?” Michael’s voice intruded on Blair’s dream.
“Hmm?” Memory and desire mingled warm and heavy in her consciousness.
“Do we go out for dinner?” he asked again.
Behind closed lids, Blair pictured the small church where they’d been married. Michael’s cousin, a priest, had flown in from his hometown in Argentina to officiate. Both of their families had been present, even the stodgy Davenports, her father’s family. Grandma Alice and Blair’s mother had cried. Blair wondered what it had cost Uncle Benjamin, her father’s brother, to attend a wedding and reception swarming with what he called ‘common’ people. But he’d done it. Probably to keep up appearances. To everyone’s immense relief, Michael’s father and Uncle Benjamin had somehow hit it off. Michael’s brother and sisters had been a riot to meet, all energetic and fun.
They were on the second day of their honeymoon. In a few days, they’d head back to Miami.
“Blair?”
But Blair ignored the softly spoken word. Bits and pieces of the last month and a half fell in to place. Destiny and life combined into reality.
Through the west window, the sun was setting, a golden ball falling into the Gulf. Grandma Alice had insisted they use her house for their too-short honeymoon.
“I’m starving,” she said, smiling. Then she felt it. A little unsettling, a little unexpected. “But I don’t feel so good.” Again. She bolted for the bathroom.
Minutes later, after splashing cold water on her face and brushing her teeth, she came out, feeling much, much better. Michael stood waiting, naked and impatient, the sling supporting his left arm back in place. “Are you okay?”
“Oh, yes.”
“That didn’t sound okay.”
“It’s better than okay.”
“Blair?”
She reached up and touched his face, tracing the line of his brow.
“Remember how we wondered why I hadn’t gotten pregnant before?”
He stared down at her. “Good God.”
“It was timing. And destiny. This is our time, Michael.”
“You’re pregnant,” he said, wonder in his voice.
“If I had to guess when, I’d say the Fontainebleau.”
He reached down and touched her bare stomach, still flat. “Destiny and timing,” he repeated. Then he traced his hand back up her body to her face. “And more love than I ever imagined.” He kissed her gently.
When he pulled away, his eyes reflected mischief and humor. “I can’t remember what happened at the Fontainebleau.” He pulled her against him, his body, if not his memory, obviously functioning properly. “Does this pregnant woman feel up to—?”
THE END
Note from the Author
I hope you enjoyed Against the Wind. I would love to hear from you. You can email me at [email protected].
Best wishes,
Virginia Kelly
PS: Hurricanes are neither fun nor romantic. They are dangerous. If you live in or visit an area that experiences hurricanes, be aware of the forecast during hurricane season, which runs from June 1 through November 30. Know if you are in an evacuation area and be prepared to leave if directed to do so. If you are not in an evacuation area, you should be able to manage for three days without outside help. This includes water, food and medicine. The National Hurricane Center has further information, both in English and Spanish.
About the Author
Virginia Kelly lives in Florida with her husband and children. Virginia’s novel, To the Limit, was a finalist in the 2003 Romance Writers of America® Golden Heart Contest. Published in print format in 2004 by Silhouette Intimate Moments, To the Limit was nominated for several awards including the Holt Medallion (Virginia Romance Writers) and The Golden Quill (Phoenix Desert Rose Contest). To the Limit is now available as an ebook at Amazon and at Barnes and Noble. To read an excerpt, click here.
To learn more about the author, visit her website at:
http://virginiakelly.net
Table of Contents
Chapter 1
Chapter 2
Chapter 3
Chapter 4
Chapter 5
Chapter 6
Chapter 7
Chapter 8
Chapter 9
Chapter 10
Chapter 11
Chapter 12
Chapter 13
Chapter 14
Chapter 15
Epilogue
Note from the Author
About the Author
Against the Wind Page 20