by Mia Josephs
“It is terrifying to let someone see all the parts of me. I can’t… I’m so afraid I won’t be what you need.” He stared up the driveway. Let himself wallow in the memories of the place. Let himself believe that he’d be better. That he’d be all the good things he wished his dad had been.
“Don’t you get it, though?” she asked quietly. “You’re my friend. And now we’re more… That’s all I need. That’s all I want. You’re enough.”
He was enough.
Donovan stopped, pulling her into him and Sierra’s warmth wrapped around him. “You’re enough. Just you.”
The pressure of Sierra and the place and his past and present and future all tangled in his chest. “I wanna do the right thing,” he said. “Always.”
“Go. Play music. I’ll be blogging and looking for more fish. Taking care of our little one.” Her face rested on his chest and she tightened her arms. “The baby that still only feel half real.”
“I’ll be missing you.” And he wasn’t sure “missing” was nearly powerful enough a word.
“Good.” She kissed his neck. “Because I’ll be missing you too.”
After what could have been two minutes or an hour, Donovan released his hold, and rested his forehead on hers.
“You don’t want to go to the house?” she asked.
“Nope.” He squeezed her hand. “I’ve got everything I need.”
Epilogue
It felt like minutes instead of days before Donovan left for the exact kind of future that Sierra always imagined for him.
Hanson was at the shop. Donovan was on a plane to California. She sat in front of her computer with a big, fat YES! THIS ONE! From the agent who had requested she write a non-fiction book.
Now she had a project while Donovan was gone—a big one. She grasped her phone to tell her mom and Lindsey, but she wanted Van to know first, so she sat her laptop aside and tried, once again, to just revel in all the awesome things happening in her life.
She rested her hands on her stomach, staring at the ceiling in the apartment she now shared with her brother.
In a couple short months she’d gone from living at home, to being in an apartment, pregnant, dating a guy on his way to being a huge star, and another step closer to being an author.
She should be relaxing into the unbelievability of her new life. But as amazing as it all was, it was also different. Everything was different. Her eyes welled up at how quickly the childhood part of her life had truly disappeared.
At some point she drifted off to sleep while sitting on the couch, and woke up only because her phone vibrated on her leg.
Sierra startled and then smiled when she saw the text from Donovan.
Love You Forever. We’re going to be better than fine. Landed safe. Missing you, Van
And everything she’d left behind was suddenly worth it for what was to come.
From the author:
Catch more of Sierra, Donovan, Lita, Griffin, Corinne and Chris in The Beginnings of Forevers. (the first VERY unedited first chapter is below…)
Hint: There will be wedding(s)? Babies. Twists. Turns. And at least one happily ever after ;-)
FOR THE LOVE OF MUSIC SERIES GOES AS FOLLOWS (though each book can stand alone without the others) – Chasing the Music, Blurring the Lines, Finding the Dream, The Beginnings of Forevers (Jan 2015)
ACKNOWLEDGEMENTS
A huge thank you to Allie Brennan/TJ Hannah for reading the first draft of this book. The messy one I wrote in two weeks ;-)
Thank you Ed Sheeran and Bobby Long for providing me with awesome music and writing inspiration.
Thank you, once again, to Lenore for beta reading like a BOSS.
And to my husband for letting me read my “girlie book” out loud to him.
THE INCREDIBLY UNEDITED FIRST CHAPTER OF BEGINNINGS OF FOREVERS.
Donovan was dropped off by a whirlwind of a girl named Miranda who opened the front door of Christian Meyer’s house with an apology of being behind schedule and telling him to make himself at home, but also to wait in that room because Chris and Max would be back at any moment. That Corinne and her son Jonah were around somewhere, and so were Lita and Griffin. Somewhere.
Yeah. Right. Make himself at home. Donovan stood next to his large suitcase and guitar in a very white living room with a sprawling porch and view of the ocean. He walked slowly across the carpet as if making a sound would get him caught or something. He caught the backside of Corinne, the woman he’d met in Oregon and a kid who had to be Jonah, as they ran toward the beach from the house. Well, he wouldn’t be interrupted by them.
He typed in a quick text to Sierra.
I’m now having the most awkward moment ever. I’m alone. In Christian Meyer’s house.
He could picture her laughing at the absurdity of the situation and it helped him breathe. And then smile. He was about to text her a thank you even though she hadn’t responded. And then she did.
Wow!! Take a pic and send to me! Quick! Before you’re caught!
He did laugh out loud then—a sort of nervous, strangled laugh, but a laugh. Donovan tipped up his phone and snapped a picture of the living room just as the front door swung open again. Donovan shoved the phone into his pocket and turned to see Christian Meyer.
“Welcome home,” Donovan said with a small smile as soon as their eyes met. Awkward times a million. “Sorry, I’m here, and this is your house, and…” And there was no easy way to make the situation less weird.
Chris waved him off, and pushed out a breath, seeming something between annoyed and distracted. “It’s fine. Trust me. You should have seen the number of people in my bedroom this morning.”
Donovan cocked a brow. In Christian’s bedroom?
“I’m looking for Corinne.” Christian walked toward the porch, his eyes scanning as he went. “Have you met Lita?”
“Terrified to,” Donovan admitted. “I just got dropped off a second ago by…Miranda? And she said to wait in this room for you or Max.”
“There ya are kid!” Max practically yelled as he walked in the door, and wore a smile a little forced to be real. Maybe something odd was happening here that he didn’t want to be in the middle of. And he thought being alone in that room had been weird.
“Corinne and Jonah are outside on the beach,” Donovan said to Chris and then turned his attention to Max. “Great to be here.”
“Good, good.” Max slapped him on the back. “Because if Christian Meyer continues to be an idiot about a certain someone, you might be able to take his place.”
Donovan glanced between the two men a few times. “Uh…”
“He’s messing with us,” Chris said as he moved for a narrow stairway that led down. “I’ll be back in a sec. Griffin’s downstairs with Lita. He’s a cool guy. Lita is...a perfectionist. I’ll be back in to smooth things over once I find Corinne and Jonah.”
“Smooth things over?” Smooth things over from what?
“It’s all fine.” Max slapped Donovan on the back. “Don’t stress. Chris is just having a day because he doesn’t always like the truth.”
Donovan opened his mouth to ask about the truth when he clamped it shut again. He really probably didn’t want to know.
“Seriously!” a woman yelled as Donovan and Max hit the bottom of the stairs. “This is supposed to be simple!”
Someone chuckled. “If you’d relax…”
“You know what happens when you tell someone to relax, right?” she snapped.
Donovan flinched.
Max waved loosely between them. “She’s fine. It’s fine.”
Nothing about what was happening with that woman sounded fine.
Max pushed open the door and they stepped into the sound booth and then immediately through another door into a roomy studio, set up more like a living room than a recording space.
Lita James stood in the center of the room, her signature red Les Paul around her neck and Donovan’s chest leapt into his throat.
�
�Hey!” The guy smiled and waved, stepping around the frowning Lita with his hand outstretched.
“Donovan,” he said.
The guy chuckled. “We know who you are. “I’m Griffin, and this is the overly-picky Lita.”
He waited for a deeper frown to come from the tiny blonde, but a corner of her mouth quirked up. “Hey, Donovan. Glad you could make it down early. You ready to clean up your album?”
Griffin chuckled. “Jumping right in, aren’t you?”
She shrugged and reached a hand over her guitar.
Donovan was meeting Lita James.
Really. Honestly. This didn’t feel like his life. “It’s fine. We talked about me cleaning up my old stuff, which sounds pretty perfect actually.”
“Good.” Lita slid off her guitar. “Because I was about to pitch a fit over this riff not coming out right.”
“You’re just getting slowed on the slide from the seventh to ninth fret. That’s all.” Griffin flopped on a soft, leather couch. “You’ll get it.”
Donovan’s fingers suddenly itched to play. Anything to keep his hands busy or his mind busy in this insane situation.
Chris walked into the studio, his mouth tight. He shoved his hands through his hair and let out a long breath. Donovan watched as Chris and Max exchanged a quick glance before Chris shook his head once.
Huh.
Max half shoved Chris into the room. “Why don’t you pros all get to know each other real quick?”
“Sorry, Donovan,” Chris said. “Weird weekend around here.”
He waved him off. “It’s fine.”
Chris grabbed a guitar and gestured to the wall. “Pick whatever you like, or pull out your own. Why don’t we play around a bit before we all get to work?
How the hell did he choose from like eight of Christian Meyer’s guitars? Any second this was going to all disappear, or someone was going to run into the room and say – JOKE’S ON YOU! So, he was going to enjoy every second.
Chris began a song that Donovan had just heard not long ago while driving with Sierra and his chest squeezed with missing her.
Donovan sat in Christian Meyer’s studio. In Christian Meyer’s house. And listened to him play. On his guitar. While Donovan sat on Christian Meyer’s couch with one of Christian Meyer’s guitars on his lap. To make the moment more surreal, Lita James was in the room, cradled against Griffin who had penned her last single.
Just…
How was this his life?
Remembering he promised Sierra a picture of Christian’s house, he quickly sent it off as Chris finished the song. What was Sierra up to? He pictured her over her sewing machine, or in the kitchen, or frantically typing away on her laptop. But every time she came into his mind, so did the fact that he was going to be a dad.
“So, that’ll be my first song after the crossover that me and Donovan do.”
Crossover? One of the first things Chris had asked when he came into the room was if Donovan was up for loose improv or working on a few songs together.
Lita laughed a little. “So, you guys aren’t even going to give the audience a breather between, huh?”
“That was the point, right?” Chris asked. “That we each get some time onstage, and overlap and that the show’s not about just one person.”
Donovan chuckled. “I still can’t believe you guys invited me in on this.”
“You are still the warm-up,” Lita teased as she leaned forward, pulling her guitar from the floor.
“So, I played with one of your songs,” Chris said as he started to strum. “We might be able to work part of it out together.”
Donovan chuckled a little and then grinned with Chris’ choice—it wasn’t a love song, or a sex song, really. It was about all the perfect, delicious things that make up a woman.
LYRICS HERE (Told you this was unedited…)
And then Chris leaned toward Donovan. “I really screwed with the riff here, but if you hold the same pattern, I think it’ll work.”
Chris’ fingers moved blindingly fast up the neck of the guitar, and Donovan held the strumming. Chris was good, easy to follow, and suddenly a song that had been just one of many felt like a song that might actually do something.
He could feel his cheeks ache at how he was smiling.
Corinne stepped in the room, and Chris jumped up and ran across the room.
“Can’t stay,” she said. “Jonah’s in the tub.”
Chris pulled her into his arms, and Donovan watched even though all it did was make him miss Sierra.
“I thought me and Jonah would hit the store. There are a few things—”
Their voices got quiet, and Donovan shifted in his seat looking down as if that would give them privacy.
“Auntie Corinne!” Jonah called.
“You go sit,” Chris said. “Pick up a guitar. I can help him.”
“But—”
“You know I wanted to see you, but also him.” He laughed, pushing her into the studio. “I will be back when he has clothes and a snack or whatever else he’s after.”
“Corinne!” Max grinned as she stepped inside. “How are things?”
“Strange.” She shrugged and he frowned.
“You know everyone?” he asked.
She nodded and sat, but Donovan’s eyes were still on her. And then it hit him. “Corinne Bailey. You… You were part of Moon Rising, right? Or… with Jaxen? Or…” He clapped his hands together. “I knew I knew you from somewhere! I don’t remember the connection, but that’s right, yeah?”
Corinne’s eyes widened, Max cleared his throat, and Donovan froze.
He wasn’t quite sure how he’d just screwed up, but he’d definitely screwed up.
“Never mind,” Donovan back-pedaled. “I’m sure that’s intrusive.”
Max rubbed his forehead, and Donovan’s gaze went from Corinne to Max and then to the floor.
“I’m gonna see if Chris needs help.” Corinne practically ran from the room.
Max glared and Donovan held up his hands. “I didn’t know it was a big thing, I just knew I’d seen her before.”
His chest tightened as he waited for Max’s reprimand, or to be asked to leave, or…
Max sighed. “No, it’s fine. It was bound to happen. I can’t believe she’s here.”
So… There was a lot more going on between Chris, Corinne and Max than Donovan knew. That was for sure.
“The simple version is that she was with Jaxen for a short while. It did not end well. I talked her into coming down here to help Chris with his album, and… She’s just very private, and Chris is being a stupid ass and falling for her.”
Everyone in the room sat silent and staring at Max.
“That was…” Lita started, but didn’t finish.
Griffin re-adjusted, and Donovan wanted to disappear into the sofa.
“No one’ll say anything,” Griffin said, and Donovan nodded immediately.
Max ground his jaw another time before walking out. It hit Donovan then—what being in the public eye might do to his life. To Sierra’s. but he dismissed it quickly. He was the beginning artist. The sideshow. No one would care.