by Jo Leigh
She stopped, looked back. “By the way, this doesn’t give you the right to ask any personal questions about my dating history after you left town. Now, I really do need to get going and so do you.”
He had to admit, she was being calm now. But he sure hadn’t imagined her nervousness earlier. “So I’m supposed to just take your word for it?”
“Yes.”
“Mind if I see her birth certificate?”
She lifted a brow. “Yes, actually, I do.”
“Why? You have nothing to hide, right?”
Staring at him, Ginny tilted her head slightly. “Even if you were her father, do you honestly think I’d name a man who’d suddenly disappeared without a word? No letter. No phone call. Nothing. A man who could’ve been dead for all I knew.”
“Ah, so this is payback?”
“Not at all. I’m just pointing out the facts.”
“I’ve already explained to you why I couldn’t make contact at the time.”
“And I answered your question. Tilda isn’t your daughter.” Ginny held his gaze without blinking or giving any indication she was lying. “But she is mine. And I won’t allow you to disrupt her life in any way. Have I made myself clear?”
Parker studied her determined green eyes, the lush shape of her mouth, waiting for her to falter. She was a rock. Generally he was good at reading people, and rarely found reason to second-guess himself. But he was starting to do just that. Whatever had made Ginny nervous earlier might’ve had nothing to do with her daughter. Yet something still bothered him.
Finally he nodded. “I’m sure you understand why I had to ask.”
“I do. Just as you must understand my first duty is to protect Tilda. She’s a sweet, compassionate girl and gifted student with a bright future ahead of her. The last thing she needs is an emotional upheaval that would only lead to disappointment.”
“Does she know her father?” Parker saw the fire reignite in her eyes. “And yes, I know it’s none of my business.”
Ginny smiled a little. “No, it’s not. And no, she doesn’t know him. Now, I hope you have a safe trip back to wherever it is you live.”
For a second he’d thought she might be softening. “I have to say, you sure are anxious to get rid of me.” He walked toward her and she seemed to shrink back, into the hall. She didn’t look all that confident now. He stopped short, not wanting to spook her further. Ironically, he’d been heading for the front door, about to give her what she wanted. “Do you hate me that much?”
“I don’t hate you, Parker.” Her voice dropped to a whisper. “Actually, I’m glad you came. The not knowing was hard. It’s been a while since I’ve thought about you and that last night before you left, at least consciously, but it feels good to have some closure.”
He put his hand out to her. She looked at it, hesitant, confusion swirling in her eyes, then she laid her palm on his. “I’m sorry I caused you any pain,” he said, tugging her closer.
“I don’t know what you’re expecting but—”
“Expectations are for suckers.” He’d learned that the hard way, but the lesson had stuck. “Just one drink, okay? I promise not to grill you, and I’d like to catch up before I leave. You name the time and place.”
She gazed up at him, her confusion giving way to a flicker of excitement. He hoped it was more about the electricity that still arced between them than about him mentioning leaving. “Maybe,” she said. “That’s the best I can do.”
Parker nodded. “It’s more than I deserve.” He lowered his head, and before she could protest, he planted a quick kiss on her forehead. Then he continued on to the front door before he did something stupid.
If anyone knew why he wanted to see her again he wished they’d explain it to him. He’d made his apology. Got his answer about her daughter. He should be relieved. His life was in Alaska. He was never going to leave there. The rest of the world revolved just fine without him. And luckily, he’d managed to find some peace in his life. Everything about living in his cabin, miles from civilization, suited him to a T. It was safe, free of emotional entanglements, less messy.
He and his business partner Mark Schwartz flew cargo, primarily to the outlying districts and small villages near waterways. They both flew out of Fairbanks, although they rarely ran into each other. Mark did most of the Anchorage deliveries. Parker liked delivering to the outliers.
He’d be a fool to allow anyone or anything to rob him of that life. Including the feelings building inside him. He’d felt the spark long before seeing it in Ginny’s eyes seconds ago. He’d thought about her over the years, generally with a mixture of fondness and shame. But the ache to hold her in his arms again, that was unexpected. And dangerous. The last thing he wanted to do was hurt her again.
Ginny hadn’t changed. She was a smart, compassionate, beautiful woman who deserved a good man, someone to share her life with and help raise her daughter. Someone a lot better than him.
* * *
GINNY STARED AT all the new cosmetics spread across her bathroom counter, defeat settling in every fiber of her being. Eyeliner pencils, a stupidly big eyeshadow palette, tubes of tinted moisturizers, highlighting sticks and a few other items she’d already forgotten how and where to apply. Did women really use all this stuff? Or did the saleswoman at the makeup counter know a sucker when she saw one?
It had been very expensive and now Ginny wondered how she was going to manage putting it to use when her hands were still shaking. She really needed to calm down.
Parker had left five minutes ago. And she honestly believed he no longer thought Tilda was his child. If he pressed, she had the consent to adoption Meg had given her. It was as good as a power of attorney, and had been witnessed by a social worker, who’d explained Meg needed it in order to give the baby up for adoption. The father’s name had never been on any documents.
It wasn’t until after several weeks—when Ginny had bonded completely with Tilda—that she considered adopting Tilda herself. She’d even spoken to an attorney about it, but the man had had concerns about the paperwork Meg had given her, and Ginny had been too nervous to move forward and have things blow up in her face.
By that time, Tilda had felt like her own daughter, and that hadn’t changed in all these years. But she still had that paper in her safe, and she’d use it if she had to. She just hoped it wouldn’t come to that.
If Ginny chose not to meet Parker for a drink and didn’t bother to call, she was sure that would be the end of it. She’d never see him again. Which was her goal, despite the ache in her heart.
How could she still feel anything for him? Anything but disdain was nuts. He could’ve contacted her once he and his mom were in the clear. But he hadn’t.
Determined to put all thoughts of Parker aside for her big night at the reunion, she faced the makeup once again. Unfortunately, her exuberance waned as she picked up the gray liner pencil that promised a sultry, smoky-eyed look. Ginny recalled it involved a lot of smudging. Not gonna happen—she was sure she’d end up looking like a racoon. Maybe she should just bag up the lot and return to the store for some help from the saleswoman. Before she could decide, the phone rang.
“Dad?”
“Ginny. I wasn’t sure I’d catch you at home. Isn’t this your big reunion weekend?”
She couldn’t imagine how he knew that...certainly not from her. “It is.”
“I hope you’re enjoying yourself.” He paused, probably wondering what came next during a normal parent-child phone call. “How’s Tilda?”
Okay, this was getting weirder by the second. “Um, she’s fine. She’s gone camping with a friend.”
“By themselves?”
As if he cared. Ginny quashed the thought. Lately he’d been trying to mend the rift between them. The least she could do was meet him partway. “No, the whole family went.”
“Well, good, I’m glad you have the weekend to yourself. Did your old gang show up?”
“Most of them, yes. It’s fun seeing everyone. I’ve recognized quite a few people. One charmer told me I could use a bit of Botox between my eyebrows.”
Her dad barked out a laugh that had her head spinning. When had she last heard that sound come from him? Ten years? Fourteen? “Don’t listen to that nonsense,” he said. “You’re a beautiful young woman just the way you are.”
Ginny blinked. His words brought a lump to her throat. What was going on? “Dad? Is everything all right?”
“With me? Of course, I’m fine. Perhaps mellowing with age, as they say,” he said with a trace of amusement. “By the way, I heard Tilda made the dean’s list.”
Startled at first, Ginny quickly realized it wasn’t at all odd for him to know about the goings-on at Roger Williams Preparatory Academy. He and most of his cronies were alumni, including the current headmaster. Truly the “old boys club.”
“Yes, she’s doing very well.”
“I must admit, I thought you were wrong in allowing her to skip the third grade. However, I imagine she would’ve been quite bored. It seems she has a head for science.” He paused. “Honestly, Ginny, I wish you’d told me she was in an accelerated program. I’m very proud of that granddaughter of mine.”
Ginny held her tongue. He should’ve been proud of her regardless. Ginny wasn’t surprised though. This was a well-worn theme in his life. If she had stayed at Juilliard she would’ve been the apple of her father’s eye. Not an outcast.
“Yes, I’m proud of her, as well. Funny you brought up her skipping a grade. At the rate she’s going she’ll graduate early and then be off to college. I’m sure going to miss her.”
“Nonsense. You must do what’s right for the child.”
“I didn’t say I would hold her back. Although if she wasn’t at an appropriate maturity level, I wouldn’t hesitate to do just that.” Ginny’s brusque tone was met with silence. She never spoke to her dad like that. She cleared her throat. “Tilda’s SAT scores should get her a scholarship, especially now that we know MIT has her on their radar. So I don’t think I’ll have to worry about shelling out exorbitant tuition.”
“Oh, for heaven’s sake, you know I’ll take care of my granddaughter’s college expenses.”
Ginny waited, holding her breath, half expecting him to give her a list of conditions. The offer was an amazing turnaround on his part, and she felt equal parts gratitude and resentment. If Tilda had been an average student, would they even be having this conversation? Would they be on speaking terms at all? Plus, she knew that if he were to pay Tilda’s tuition he would insist on full input as to which university she attended.
“Thank you, Dad. That’s very generous of you,” Ginny said, choosing her words carefully. “We’ll discuss it later. I’m running a little late here.”
“All right, I didn’t mean to keep you. Give my best to Tilda.”
Out of pure selfishness, Ginny sometimes wished she hadn’t let Tilda skip third grade. She couldn’t imagine living in the house without her. They’d been through so much together. But she would never clip Tilda’s wings, or do anything that would hinder her very bright future.
Anyway, if things went well with the Rhode Island Philharmonic, Ginny would have very little time to miss anyone. She’d have a second chance at a career—not the one she could have had. There’d be no Carnegie Hall in her future. Though if she did well, there was a good chance of steady work in smaller venues, which would be just fine with her.
But that presented another problem. At thirty-two, she still had time to have babies of her own. She’d been honest with Harlow... Ginny truly did want to have a bigger family. And she wanted to experience all of motherhood...the aches and pains of pregnancy, giving birth, all of it.
Oh, Tilda would always be hers. Ginny couldn’t possibly love her more. But she knew Tilda would be thrilled with a little brother or sister, and Ginny longed for a partner to share her life, and the laughter of children to fill her house and her heart.
CHAPTER SIX
THE MOTEL MADE Parker’s cabin feel like a palace—before he’d installed the indoor plumbing. But he’d stayed in worse. At least the TV worked, although it wasn’t loud enough to compete with the soothing sound of the stone’s-throw highway serenade keeping him from getting a nap at all. It wouldn’t be so bad if he’d gotten some rest last night, but nope. He’d grown used to the calls of moose, bears, wolves, the squeal of hawks and higher calls of elk.
So he thought about Ginny. Not just Ginny from this morning, with her torn robe and half-done makeup, but Ginny from the night they’d come together for comfort.
He’d spent a lot of years regretting that he’d let things go so far, and just as many that he hadn’t come back to find her, to explain why he’d left so suddenly. But he’d known she was headed for big things, and his own life plans had diminished to less than wishful thinking.
Nothing could have shocked him more than finding out she’d stayed in Temptation Bay and taught piano from her family home. Except that she’d had a child.
Although Ginny had convinced him that Tilda wasn’t his, he couldn’t seem to shake the idea that Ginny was hiding something. It bothered him that he was making decisions based on a girl he’d known briefly years ago. Even though they’d been more than acquaintances, they hadn’t been friends, not in the way he understood the concept. They’d shared a common loss. His sister running off had made Ginny doubt herself and what she’d meant to Meg. Finding his sister gone had made his father’s absence so much harder for Parker to accept.
The idea that he believed he would have known if Ginny had lied to him was a conceit he had no business entertaining. Tilda could be his. What seemed clear was that whether he was the girl’s father or not, Ginny had no interest in letting him into their lives.
Truthfully, he wasn’t sure whether to be angry or grateful.
Maybe she had slept with some dark-eyed stranger the day after he and his mom had been forced to leave. Although that was as hard to believe as Meg wanting to come home.
Facing reality head-on was all that had saved his sanity after his father’s betrayal. And it was a lot easier to admit the truth when the nearest neighbor lived across three rivers.
He turned on his side and punched the pillow, although he felt certain the pillow had given up the fight hours ago. The ring of his cell phone was a welcome distraction. That it was Denali Wildrose screaming through his smartphone as if they were talking on two cans tied by a string made it a mixed blessing.
“Where you at?” Denali asked, his tone as gnarly as his calloused hands.
“I’m away. Mark is bringing your supplies.”
“Who’s that? Your partner?”
“Yep. You’ve met him.”
Denali grunted. “He’s late.”
“I can’t do anything about it from here.”
“Anchorage?”
“Nope. Rhode Island.”
“What? Who you got down there?” The old-timer didn’t trust anyone who wasn’t Native American. But Denali was a good man. Had six kids. Raised them all on his own after a boulder had killed his wife during an earthquake. But he was getting on in years and odder by the day.
“What else did you need, Kaskae?” Parker asked. “It takes time to get to Hoonah, and he’s got double the work since I’m not there.”
“That doesn’t make my stomach stop grumbling. We can’t cook nothing before we get that part for the oven.”
“Light a fire. You’ve got a perfectly good camp stove right outside your back door.”
“Okay, okay. You be back next week?”
“I hope so.” Parker said, although he wouldn’t swear to it. Not yet.
“What business you got in the Lower 48, anyway?”
“The none
-of-your-business kind.”
Denali snorted. “You ain’t sick are ya?”
“No. It’s family stuff, okay? I’ll be back as soon as I can. And don’t give Mark a hard time. He’s doing me a favor.”
“He’s got shifty eyes, that one.”
“Either deal with it or he can skip you this week,” Parker said, imagining the old guy’s eyes bugging out of his head. “Your choice.”
“What’s the matter with you? I gotta eat, don’t I? So does Elmo,” Denali sputtered. “By the way, he needs the other food. He won’t eat the chunky kind.”
“That cat eats better than I do. Call Mark and he’ll get it out to you if I’m not there to do it myself.”
“Don’t stay out there too long. Too much noise’ll rot your brain.”
“Right.”
“Now I have to call everybody and tell ’em you ain’t coming.”
“You do that. And tell them to be nice to Mark.”
“If he’s still shoppin’, tell him to throw in some Tongass Forest cookies. The big box.”
“I wouldn’t count on it.”
A grunt was the only response Parker got before Denali disconnected.
* * *
IT HAD TAKEN about an hour, but Ginny had finally relaxed. Catching up with her old friends felt like a tonic. Which was good, because the tea they were drinking hadn’t done the trick.
Gosh, they all looked so beautiful and carefree in their colorful sundresses, and their laughter was a time machine, taking her back to the days when these girls had been her only real break from piano practice and study. Well, these girls plus Meg.
If only...
Harlow lifted her glass. “Old friends are the best.”
Everyone nodded as they toasted, and Ginny couldn’t help picturing Meg at the table. Although she hadn’t been too tight with the others, they’d always made her feel welcome.
As Ginny lowered her glass, she did a quick sweep of the bar area, making sure Parker hadn’t suddenly popped by. She had no business being distracted while she had the rare opportunity to be with her gang. From this moment forward, she wasn’t going to do a thing but be present.