by Ron Foster
“Damn Dump you are reminding me of that character Mr. Haney and his truck off that old show Green Acres!” Farley said laughing and playing along with Dump Truck’s show.
“Lets see now, one old style AK, two mags and 100 rounds of ammo is the deal of the day at $1000 firm retail cash, trade or militia script. I explain that script shit to you later, wholesale to you Farley is $600. Please note I am still using mostly pre collapse pricing and willing to barter.” Dump said sticking his thumbs under his suspenders looking more Mr. Haney-like than ever to Farley.
“Pre collapse of my wallet you mean you old miserly heathen. That ugly old thing is what’s called a Romanian WASR 30 model, wholesale back then since it wasn’t one of those damn California compliant 10 rounders would of been closer to $250 or so without the ammo back in the day but I ain`t bitching at all. Six hundred bucks plus ammo in these days and times is a spectacular bargain! But as you know I ain`t going to try to resell no weapon these days Dump. Too risky in my opinion and not profitable enough.” Farley said doing his mental figuring and trying to bargain the prices down.
“Well I figured you would say that. You know, I got a few folks I have to make some private offers to just like you, but I haven’t decided exactly what to do with the rest of the lot. The Mr. Haney signs were just my little fun joke for the day but I do want to talk about that militia script money I mentioned. You kind of inspired that idea on me with all that talk you do about three man militias and such.” Dump said.
“Oh yea, Dump? What kind of angle is it that you might be thinking about?” Farley asked, looking up from the assembly of guns momentarily at such an odd notion.
“A pretty good one I hope, Farley. Oh, there is a gun set aside for your consideration in the back of the seat you might not have seen before. I thought you might have a particular interest in it seeing that we had that lively conversation the other day about pistol caliber carbines. It’s a 9mm carbine made to be carried on a bush plane as a survival rifle. Anyway check it out; I wanted to give you first dibs on it. On our other subject, what I was sorta thinking about was taking some of these extra weapons and you and me forming up kind of a mercenary cohort, paid armed guard service, private militia or whatever else you want to call it and cashing in while doing a community service that way.” Dump was saying before Farley excitedly pulled out the carbine from its case in back of the seat and began assembling it quickly.
“Ah hell, I know what this dandy little pretty is; it’s an Aero Survival rifle! TNW Firearms made it and they rock! ” Farley said with a grin as he tightened the barrel nut and then held it out to arm’s length to admire.
“You got the rest of this weapon or is this all you have for components?” Farley asked aiming its 4x scope down the road and glassing the area with the excitement of a schoolboy receiving his first BB rifle.
“What do you mean the rest of it? It’s not all there? Isn’t that a complete rifle? What’s missing?” Dump asked raising one eyebrow and stepping over to where Farley was and scrutinizing the weapon closely.
“Oh yea, this is darn sure a complete rifle, a very fine and good one at that! But you see this thing was also created to be the platform or integral part of a conceptualized multi-caliber system as a kind of survival force multiplier. It was designed to shoot pretty much any common pistol ammunition you might run across or have on hand in a SHTF situation. You used to could buy a singular rifle in a certain caliber of your choice or you could purchase the complete package with a backpack that has two other calibers like 40 cal and 45 capabilities. Did you happen to see any extra gun barrels or maybe something that looked like an extra lower for a rifle?” Farley asked hoping he had the whole shebang put up somewhere.
“Wouldn’t that be just about all out wonderful and great if he had the set?” He marveled thinking how lucky could he get if Dump actually had the complete setup somewhere.
“No, Farley, I didn’t see anything like that I can remember right off hand. Oh, in that case there is three 33 round Glock mags for it and a 15 rounder in the pocket that’s loaded. I haven’t gone through all the boxes and everything over at his house yet, you say for me to look for a backpack that might contain the rest of the system?” Dump asked.
“Yea should maybe have a silhouette of an airplane on it. He might not have bought the whole setup; lots of people just choose to get a singular rifle in a caliber that matches their pistol. It sure would be nice if he had though. That would make me immensely happy and maybe even do a little jig. That’s no problem if he didn’t buy the complete setup though because what I am most interested in is just this fine rifle you have right here in 9mm. I don’t carry a Glock pistol, never liked them boxy things and wouldn’t have one and if those Glock mags for that survival rifle haven’t been broken in yet I hope you got a speed loader for them. Ah, I see that you do. Always got to be thinking ahead, that’s cool. They are great mags and very well made but they are ridiculously hard to put the last rounds in at first until broken in as far as my aggravation goes and my experienced opinion says. Oh they break in just fine eventually, function beautifully and reliably, but they can be difficult as hell at first because they are new and the spring hasn’t taken a set.” Farley said now trying out the 4x scope and looking out past the parking lot at the highway to see if he could do it with the carbine one handed.
“Nothing overly fancy about the scope, it’s the one that came with the rifle from the factory, most likely. No complaints there, they function very well. The accuracy of that weapon can be summed up in one word and that’s impressive. I would like to find an illuminated scope someday for it but hey this thing is more than serviceable and probably more accurate than I am capable of.” Farley declared now hugging the weapon like Dump wasn’t ever getting it back.
“That rifle is sweet, how much you want for it?” Farley said now trying hard not to show how much he wanted that Aero Survival rifle. A light fast quick handling carbine like that was just what he wanted. That it could break down and fit easily in his backpack was fantastic and he had lots of scenarios in mind where he might just need something like that.
“I figured you would fall in love with it. I remember when my boss bought it but I forget what he paid for it. However like you say prices these days are based on want need and scarcity. You need you a good defensive rifle; you want that one, but try finding another like it! So there is the quandary…what should I charge your penny pinching old soul for it?” Dump said drawing out deliberations and trying to see just how much Farley loved that weapon by aggravating and needling him a little bit more.
“Now don’t be trying to get premium prices for it, it’s a pistol caliber carbine and you have lots of regular caliber battle rifles so without belaboring the points of what rounds or weapons work best let’s just say I consider it as a neat novelty at the moment.” Farley said feigning far less interest than he actually had.
“Well I kind of like it myself, I might just keep it.” Dump countered to Farley’s dismay.
“Well I am pretty interested, it’s sort of like a AR 15 so based on that as a starting point of negotiations what do you think you might want for it? “ Farley said not showing much emotion as he continued to look it over but definitely keeping it out of hands reach of Dump.
“Ok because it’s you Farley I will take $550 and throw in the gun mags. I don’t feel like dickering with you all day and that is a fair price I think.” Dump declared.
“That’s more than a fair price. Thanks buddy! I have a few things you might want to consider other than cash though that I think you might like and appreciate. How about considering a bit of modern technology for this little apocalypse in exchange for that rifle? I got you a cool system all put together my backwoods buddy. Check this out, you got your basic radio/mp3 player (T508)) with flashlight,
A 5V Solar panel with USB
A set of two way radios (cobra microtalk CXT 145) 27 MILE RADIUS, LINE OF SIGHT
“Now then Dump, don’t be looki
ng all skeptical and ornery at me until you hear my marvelous plan and just how practical these things are going to be for you for comfort and security. Now take the mp3 player for example, it uses memory cards. I got some here; they can hold thousands of songs. The songs I already got on one of them here are old rock and roll and some country. You’re going to want some music, I am telling ya. Listen here.” Farley said and turned on the device and started playing some old rocking tunes loudly and clearly with a grin on his face. That he brought along a half bottle of whiskey with him to help with negotiations also crossed his mind.
“That’s got a pretty good speaker, turn it down and leave it on for a bit.” Dump said hearing the first real music he had heard in months.
“It’s got radio capability also but its only FM on that model I am sorry to say but it works well. Anyway, Dump you can be your own Juke box or just play it back for yourself when you’re sitting around working on a project. It’s got a voice recorder also.” Farley said, demonstrating it and then flipping it over and turning on the flashlight.
“Pretty cool device, wish you had some audio books for it.” Dump said visualizing what he might use it for. He already knew from the solar panel’s presence it could be used to recharge the batteries when it ran down and the idea of being able to play some tunes or listen to the radio whenever he wanted too was growing on him.
“Well I do have some books and a way to add more songs or audio books to the memory cards but we can talk about that later. There is a bunch of songs already on that SD card and there is another blank one I bought to go with it. See awhile back as I was doing my prepping I got to thinking about barter as well as functionality and I put together a few of these kits. Now here is where the value part comes in, I shouldn’t even tell you this at all I know, but I got less than fifty bucks a unit in them. Now I could have maybe bought me a couple ounces of silver with the same money when the price was low but which one of the commodities would you rather have now? This technology is right up there with silver now and much more useful in some ways. Look here, same deal with these smart walkie talkies. They run on rechargeable batteries and that solar panel with the USB port can produce power for them. They have if I remember right a 27 mile line of sight radius on them, meaning Dump if you got a bunch of woods or hills blocking signals you are going to get reduced some in range but they are still pretty powerful and have lots of other interesting features like encrypted channels etc. They could be your lifeline, your own telephone service in a post apocalyptic world, a way of communicating over long distances. Think of it Dump… Technology that works in a dark world, the music won’t die. You can call me up to ask for a ride if your scooter breaks down. Tell me who else is going to offer you such a bargain? Lend that other handset to the Lazarus boys and you got your own cavalry coming if you need it.” Farley said referring to that pulp wood crew that Dump had access to that formally did the job of moving the coffins around for the shut down funeral homes for the churches. Farley had stuck the “Lazarus boy’s” nickname on them plain down home Alabama backwoods country boys and it fitted them well.
He came up with that little moniker for them by referring to the well known biblical tale of a man raised from the dead and it had kind of stuck and been well received and adopted by the men. Sounded kind of wicked to refer to them boys that way and Farley knew they could bring plenty of hurt if you got them organized and pointed all in the right direction. They came from the confused and lengthy bloodlines of enlisted confederate raiders made up of turpentine tree cutters and other timber men in their section of the county that once gave fits to the Yankees with rebel yells and bowie knives at Bull Run during the Civil war.
Dumber than dirt, occasionally meaner than hell, but normally they were the hard workingist, most down to earth unpretentious good old boys you would ever have the pleasure to meet. Great folks to have for neighbors unless they were on a bender or said “Hey! Watch this” regarding a trick or an invention. They were pretty good to have on your side backing your team was always a given.
“Well, I am certainly interested and see the value in them, what else you got you might want to add to the deal?” Dump said speculatively.
“Ha! I knew you would like them but you forgot about that value and price thing we were talking about. How much is click of a button communication worth? You can sell some of them rifles to the Lazarus boys but if you need them to come back you up or help you with something you have to get on your motor scooter and go by. Or as a different example if they need you, then they gotta send a runner and either way that’s one rifle out of commission for the time being as well as the precious gas it takes. So is $500 worth of silver more valuable in this particular instance for trading or my $50 in pre grid dollars worth of communication equipment? That commo gear is a whole lot harder to find or replace than rifles are now big boy!” Farley declared knowing that he now had Dump over a barrel with that line of reasoning and there was no way he could crawdad out.
“Farley, you aren’t right, just not right at all! Your actually going to be taking advantage of me like this, you old codger? Damn, you got me in a corner and got yourself a trade. I can see the logic to it but I sure wish that you hadn’t told me that you had less than 50 bucks in all that stuff. Makes me feel so cheap!” Dump said with a laugh before inquiring of Farley if he was going to throw in some service with more recordings for him to listen too.
“Oh hell yea, well I will do it for you free of charge anyway, Dump. Having such resources in these days and times is a commodity by itself you know, but for you I will help you record whatever I got you might want. Ha, you can even learn Spanish if you want to.” Farley said chuckling as to the various contents of his “audio library” on his laptop.
“Cool, I doubt I will ever need your learning Spanish tapes though. I will make up the difference up off you on something else we might be trading for though, watch out! What else you want? Come on gimme a chance to get even! I know your needing ammo for that Aero Rifle. What will you give me for 500 rounds of full metal jacket 9mm?” Dump said slyly.
“Oh I don’t know. I got you something cool to round out your little setup that hasn’t been put on the table yet. I don’t have any extra rechargeable batteries for those devices but I have one quick recharge battery for them with additional solar capability. Not going to charge you for it if you don’t over price them bullets. It’s called a Sunferno.
Portable Solar Phone Charger - Sunferno Flintstone 5000mah Dual USB Solar Power Bank - Shock/ Dust/ Waterproof Solar Panel Battery Charger for Iphone, Cell Phone, Ipod, Ipad, Gopro, USB Devices
“Think of it just as a battery of sorts that can recharge its self. That will be the backup to your solar panel and will allow you to store more power when the suns not up. Now then how much you want for them bullets? How many grains are those bullets anyway, Dumpie?” Farley asked.
“They are just your standard 115 grain but I got a mixture of some other rounds also. I just offered those 500 first because I found an ammo can of them. Coming out of that rifle I think it’s fair to say pretty much any of them rounds will be equal to shooting a velocity similar to a .357 magnum. I got some 147 grain bullets in hollow point and ball you could reserve for hunting but you know me I don’t get all gourmet about bullets. One of those 115 grainers is probably going to go straight through somebody at 35 yards or so it all gets down to shot placement to me.” Dump said matter-of-factly.
“Oh yea, I agree with you. You got any of that Winchester white box N.A.T.O. in a 124 grains? I like that stuff it’s loaded a bit hotter.” Farley asked.
“Oh yea, we got us a bit of everything. That 115 grain stuff is made by GECO and I remember Curtis said the Europeans loaded the 9mm at a 115gr the way it was designed to be, anyway that Swiss stuff is hotter than most American rounds and I bet that gun can really do them justice.” Dump said heading back to the bed of his truck and the tarp covered ammo cans.
“Wow you got enough ammo to start a small
war.” Farley said admiringly.
“Yea old boss man liked stock piling bullets for some reason, guess maybe I shouldn’t have kidded him so about it never getting shot up or being useful. You can have 500 rounds of 9mm for that solar battery thing, go ahead and pick you out 300 rounds of full metal jacket and 200 rounds of hollow point. Don’t be over high grading neither Farley.” Dump said as Farley grinned and pointed to himself and said “Now I wouldn’t do something like that Dumpie!” and then chuckled.
“See that you don’t, hey back to my militia script idea. If we did start using it, what would it be? Not like I can go to a printer to get what I might want.” Dump asked.
“No ideas there, maybe stamp something on a brass washer? We talk about that later, now back to the bartering!’ Farley declared and they spent most of the afternoon happily talking and dickering over a few more items.
"When I let go of what I am, I become what I might be." ~LaoTzu.