by Sammy King
The week was pretty non eventful, Dylan and I did what we had done, he would drop me off at school and then pick me up, we would go find some place to hide, and make love in the back of the car. My stomach was still flat, so it was easy to hide that I had a baby growing inside me. In our times alone, Dylan and I would talk about baby names, he wanted a little boy too, but he wanted our son to have blonde hair like mine and blue eyes that sparkled. We both liked the name Mitchell, but we weren’t firm on it.
When we got home on the Thursday, before Good Friday, Shelly and Michael were parked in the driveway. Michael was standing on the front step while he talked to Tilly; Shelly was sitting in the car. As I walked past the car, Shelly reached out and took my hand.
“Hey girl, how you feeling since being sick?” she asked.
“Yeah I’m fine now thanks” I said looking up at Tilly, to work out what her and Michael were talking about.
Dylan had gone up to join them, and I could see them deep in discussion together.
“What are you guys doing?” I asked.
Shelly shrugged, as she lit a cigarette, she took a long drag and passed it out the window to offer me a drag; I shook my head, as she blew the smoke out the side of her mouth. She shrugged and took another long drag.
“Dunno, thinkin’ about goin’ down the river for a paddle” she said. “Was gonna ask Dylan if he wanted to come too”
I got an uneasy feeling, but pushed it aside thinking it was nothing more than jealousy, but the words of Tilly’s death threats kept ringing in my ear.
“Alright, well I’ve got some stuff to do, have a good one Shelly” I said, as I tapped the window sill and walked away.
When I got to the front door, Michael rubbed my head as I pushed past Tilly into the house. They had all stopped talking when I got to the step. I stood in my bedroom door, and strained to hear what they were saying, but they were talking too quietly for me to work it out. I heard Tilly come back in the house, and Michael’s car fire up, and speed up the street. I came out of my room, to find Tilly sitting on the couch chewing on her nails. I looked around, but couldn’t see Dylan.
“Dylan go with Michael and Shelly did he?” I asked.
Tilly looked up, as she stopped her nail biting and nodded at me. I frowned not sure what was going on.
We were both sitting silently on the couch, watching an Easter movie on television, when Dad came in through the front door. He smiled at us both and flopped down on the chair.
“Where’s Dylan?” he asked.
“Gone out with Michael and Shelly” I said.
Dad frowned as he looked from me to Tilly. Tilly kept her eyes firmly on the television, not meeting his look.
“Ah, will do the boy good to get out away from the two hormonal women in his life” he said with a nervous laugh.
I smiled, while Tilly continued to stare blankly at the television.
“Well I’m only home to get a change of clothes, I’m off to stay with a friend for the night” he said with a wink. I raised my eyebrow, as he stood up and gave a little jig; he went out the room, singing “I got a woman” as he grabbed his clothes.
I shook my head, and looked over at Tilly, who still hadn’t turned her eyes off the television. After Dad left for his friend’s house, I went and had a bath before going to bed. I fell asleep surprisingly easily, with thoughts about the baby growing inside of me.
Tilly’s screams pierced my sleep; the only light were the red and blue lights that shone through the window. I could hear a man’s voice trying to soothe Tilly. The floor was cold as my feet hit the ground and I shuffled my way out to the kitchen. There Tilly sat, her face buried into a tea towel, her wracking sobs filled the room. In the door way was a young constable in his crisp light blue shirt, and cap in his hands, tears brimmed at his eyes. The older policeman stood next to Tilly, with his hand on her shoulder. As I moved into the room, the older police man looked over at me, his stern face softened as he glanced back at the young constable in the door way. I stared at Tilly, who didn’t lift her face from the tea towel.
“What is it Tilly? What’s happened?” I asked, as panic began to rise into my chest.
“Dylan’s dead” she screamed into the towel.
My head spun. “How?” I asked.
The older policeman cleared his throat and Tilly for the first time took her face out of the tea towel to look up at him and I noticed her eyes were completely dry; there were no tears at all.
“He ah, has appeared to drown, we are still investigating” he squeezed Tilly’s shoulder, who let out a guttural cry, pushing the tea towel deep into her face, muffling her screams.
I stood there staring at Tilly, trying to make sense of what was going on. None of it was making sense, Dylan, was a great swimmer, and they were only going to the river, how could he have drowned in the river? And why didn’t Michael and Shelly look after him, why didn’t they save him? My anger began to grow, I had to get out, I had to see Michael and Shelly, and I had to know, what happened. As I ran into my room, I threw off my pyjamas and shoved my legs into my jeans and pulled a shirt on over my pyjama top. I ran into the hallway and raced for the front door, but the young policeman caught me.
He took hold of my shoulders, and pressed me against his chest. I felt my knees buckle as sobs shook my whole body. I heard the front door open and when I looked up over the policeman’s shoulder I could see Dad in the doorway.
“Dad, how?” I screamed, and ran into his arms.
He held me close, he told me it was alright, he would find out what happened. I gripped his shirt, and held him tight, and sobbed like I never cried before.
“I want to speak to Shelly” I said.
My dad nodded, and looked over my head at the policeman.
“They are at the station, helping us with inquiries” the policeman said.
“Take me, Dad, please”
He looked past into the kitchen, where Tilly still sat her face buried into the tea towel, he frowned, and then looked back down at me, and smoothed my hair.
“Ok, we’ll go” he said.
The drive into the police station, was a short trip, Dad held my hand the whole way, my head was reeling, tears flowed torrentially down my face, and I couldn’t control them. When we got to the police station, Dad went up to the front bench and explained who we were and what we needed. The police lady, who I remembered from the day my mum died, Sergeant Renee Miller, eyed Dad suspiciously and told us to take a seat. We sat there for what felt like forever, when she finally came back she asked us to follow her. She led us into a little room, with a desk, three chairs and a tape recorder. She sat down across the desk from us.
“What was Dylan doing with Michael and Shelly?” she asked.
“Swimming” I said.
“In April?”
I shrugged, that’s what they told me they were doing, why would they lie to me?
“Was Dylan a regular drug user?”
I couldn’t believe what I was hearing, Dylan was a good guy. I rubbed the tears from my eyes that were quickly turning from tears of sadness to tears of anger.
“Dylan never used drugs, not ever” I shouted.
Sergeant Renee sat back in her chair and frowned at me, she waved her hand to tell me to calm down. Dad reached over and squeezed my hand.
“I’m sorry” I said as I lowered my head and looked at my hands.
“It’s ok, I know that this hard, and I’m sorry that I have to ask you these questions Mon, but we need to find out what happened” she said.
I nodded, I knew that she was doing her job, but I didn’t want her to think that Dylan was some sort of scum like Michael and Shelly, or my mum.
“How did Dylan know Michael and Shelly?”
“He met them through Tilly, my sister, his girlfriend” I said quietly.
Sergeant Renee looked shocked again.
“So he was still her boyfriend?”
A fresh batch of tears fell down my face as I nodded
my head, Dad squeezed my hand tight again, and I touched my belly instinctively. I wondered what this anguish was doing to the baby and whether the baby could hear what was going on. I tried to calm my emotions so as not to upset the baby any more than I had. Dad touched my hand that I had rested on my belly, I looked up at him, and he frowned, his eyes bored in to mine. I looked down at the table, and heard him sigh.
“Well just wait here a minute and we will work out what’s going on” Sergeant Renee said. She stood and walked out the room closing the door quietly behind her.
“Mon are you pregnant?” Dad said.
I didn’t take my eyes off the table, a single tear falling down my cheek.
“Oh baby” he said as he pulled me close. “Dylan’s?”
I nodded; there was no point in hiding it, not with Dylan dead.
“Did Dylan tell Tilly?”
I shook my head, Dad sighed, and pulled me in close to his chest, tears silently flowed down my face and onto his chest. He didn’t say anything else, he just held me until the Sergeant Renee came back in.
“Michael is going to be held here over night, but we are going to take Shelly home. I don’t think it’s a good idea for you to speak to her just yet, I think the best thing you can both do is go home and try to rest.” She said.
I had no intention of resting, I wanted to know what was going on, and I wanted to know how Michael and Shelly could let him die.
Chapter Eleven.
The house was dark when we got home Dad came around to my door, and opened it for me as he took my hand. He guided me up the front step and through the door. The house was silent, Tilly’s door was shut tight, I went to open the door, but Dad caught my hand and shook his head. I dropped my head, and went up to my room.
I hadn’t realised that I had fallen asleep, until the voices in the hallway woke me. I stumbled out of bed, and poked my head out of the door. I instantly recognised Dylan’s mum, standing in the hallway. Dad had his arms around her as she sobbed. I walked down the hallway, and when Sandra looked up from my Dad’s shoulder, her cries became loud hiccupping sobs. She opened her arms and embraced me. I could see that Tilly’s door was still closed tight. Sandra’s tears wet my cheeks.
“Oh Mon, baby girl, I don’t understand what’s happened” she cried into my neck.
I didn’t understand it either. And I didn’t understand why she was here comforting me and not Tilly, or why Tilly hadn’t even come out of her room. I stood in the hallway holding Sandra, her tears mingled with mine, until my legs became sore and my pyjama top was soaked. I let go of her and took her hand, and lead her silently into the lounge room. Dad followed us in from the kitchen, and set down cups of tea on the coffee table. We sat on the couch, and held hands; we gained comfort and strength just from being together. It felt like Sandra needed me as much as I needed her at that moment. After a while the tears subsided, as we sipped our cups of tea.
“Dylan told me, he told me about” she reached over and patted my stomach; her eyes glazing over and threatened to well up again.
I was shocked, I didn’t realise that he had said anything, he never told me. She sat her hand on my stomach, as if gaining strength from the baby growing inside, Dylan’s baby growing inside. She smiled, and gazed off into the vacant space in front of her.
“He was excited” she said “I hadn’t seen him so happy in such a long time”
Sandra looked back at me; I smiled at her, and put my hand on top of hers.
“He’s not gone forever” she sniffed, as tears began to flow down her face again.
We sat on the couch until the sun was high in the sky, Dad brought cup after cup of tea for us to drink, and Tilly’s door remained shut tight. Suddenly Sandra jumped as if shocked by a bolt of electricity.
“I’ve got to go, I have to meet the, I’ve got to go” she said, and gave my hand another squeeze as she stood up.
“Mon, you’re coming to the funeral aren’t you?” she asked.
I smiled and nodded, I gave her hand a squeeze. She wrapped her arms around my shoulders and kissed my cheek. As we reached the front door, she turned and grabbed for my hand again. Before she turned away down the drive way and climbed into her car, and drove off up the road. I was exhausted, but I couldn’t sleep.
As I lay down, my head buried into my pillow, I could still get the slight scent of Dylan there, the smell of his body, I groaned as the pain that filled my heart took me into a sleep. I didn’t know whether it had been a dream or if Dylan had been right there next to me. But I was sure that I had heard him say my name, I’m sure that I had felt him touch my cheek and smooth my hair as he so often did. I wanted it to bring comfort, but it just made me long for him to be by my side even more. I didn’t know how much I could possibly bear. I didn’t know how to face the world without him in my life. And the tears, the tears that just wouldn’t stop flowing, for the rest of the day I drifted in and out of sleep, when I was awake I cried. The next morning, when I got out of bed, I looked at my face in the mirror, puffy and red.
The knock on the door was light and gave me fright. I turned to see my Dad standing in the door way. His face was full of concern.
“Dad? What’s wrong?” I asked I couldn’t take any more bad news.
He cleared his throat, as he came and sat down on my bed.
“I’ve just spoken with Sandra. The coroner has done an initial investigation on Dylan.” I nodded, not able to wipe the frown off my face. “He didn’t drown Mon”
I shook my head; I couldn’t comprehend what Dad was telling me, it wasn’t making sense. If Dylan didn’t drown, I didn’t even want to finish that thought. Dad draped his arm across my shoulders and pulled me close to him.
“The coroner found that he was hit in the head”
“Could he have slipped and fallen?” I asked.
Dad shook his head.
“The coroner is pretty certain that he was hit in the head with something”
I clenched my hands into fists, as anger began to rise. I tried to stay calm for the baby’s sake, but I felt nothing but white hot rage. I couldn’t understand why Michael or Shelly would kill him; he hadn’t done anything to them. He wasn’t a junkie like them. He was one of the good guys. Dad and I sat on my bed in silence, as I seethed. I hadn’t even given a thought to Tilly; I didn’t care about her or her feelings.
“So what happens now?” I asked.
Dad explained that Michael and Shelly had been arrested and were at the police station being questioned. He told me that the funeral couldn’t be held until the coroner had finished his investigation. I sat and listened and tried to imagine what happened that day, I tried to think what Dylan was thinking when they were bashing his head in, but it was just too painful.
Suddenly a sharp pain ripped through my stomach, I doubled over, and clutched my stomach, I groaned in agony, the pain spread from my stomach and into my lower back. Dad held onto me, concern all over his face. As I fell onto the floor to my knees, curled over in agony, I watched Dad run to the phone in the hallway and hear him asking for an ambulance.
Within minutes two ambulance men were standing in my bedroom, helping me off the floor and onto the bed. They were asking Dad a variety of questions, about my medical history and allergies, but he couldn’t answer any of them. Through grit teeth I was able to answer all their questions. They put a blood pressure cuff on me and oxygen, helping me up onto a trolley, before leading me out into the back of the ambulance. As I passed Tilly’s bedroom door, I noticed it still locked tight; I squeezed my eyes tight, as the pain gripped my body.
Dad held my hand in the back of the ambulance the whole way, while the ambulance men asked me to rate my pain from a scale of one to ten. They continued to check my pulse and blood pressure all the way to hospital. As they wheeled me through the door, a nurse was there waiting to greet us. She smiled at me kindly.
“In cubicle six please” she said.
The ambulance drivers pushed me into the cubicle and
helped me to move onto the bed. One of the ambulance drivers turned to the nurse who was standing next to me, connecting me up with heart monitors and blood pressure cuffs.
“This is Mon, she is 16 years old and she is approximately twelve weeks pregnant. Her Dad, Shane, called the ambulance when she collapsed onto the floor of her bedroom in pain throughout her abdomen and lower back. There was no noticed bleeding, her blood pressure was stable and her pain at the moment is sitting at a seven” the ambulance driver said.
“Thank you” the nurse said. “Hi Mon, I’m Stella and I’m going to be your nurse for today. Have you got a doctor you have been seeing for the pregnancy?”
I shook my head, I hadn’t even thought about seeing a doctor.
“That’s ok, Dad, can I get you to step out there just a for a minute while I have a little look downstairs to see what is going on”
Dad nodded and moved out the curtain, he rubbed his hand on his head as he pulled the curtain closed behind him. The nurse then asked me to take my pyjama bottoms off and put my feet together, dropping my knees apart. She explained that she was going to feel inside me to make sure everything felt normal there.
I lay on the bed, while she felt inside me, she pushed down onto my stomach at the same time, and I cried out in pain.
“Mon?” I heard Dad call out from behind the curtain.
“She’s ok, it’s just a bit painful, I’m nearly done” the nurse called back.
She took her fingers out and looked at them; I could see some blood on her fingers, as she took her gloves off and started to make notes in the folder on the bench next to my head. She pulled up the blanket over my legs up to my chest.