by Sammy King
Suddenly Sandra was by my side tapping my arm, I looked up and she gave me a little side nod with her head to ask me to follow her. I stood up and she took me into what was once Dylan’s room. It was filled with his things, and as soon as she opened the door, I took a deep breath; I could smell his scent still. It was as if he was right there, the air became heavy, I felt comfort, and I didn’t want to leave the room.
“After he died, I came in here to tidy up, just to put his clothes away, and snoop I guess” Sandra said to me as she sat down on his bed, patting for me to sit next to her.
I sat down, I wanted to lay my face in his pillow, and inhale the smell that was left behind from his head. Sandra reached into her pocket and pulled out a small jewellery box.
“I found this, when I was cleaning, snooping, I think you were meant to get it”
She handed me the box, and I gingerly opened it. Inside was a gold bracelet, with a single diamond in the centre. I took it out of the box and held it up, it was beautiful.
“How do you know it was for me though?” I asked.
Sandra reached out and turned the bracelet over so I could see the inside, I could see that there was an inscription there, squinting my eyes I could make out the words.
“Mon, Forever Mine, Dylan”
A fresh batch of tears started to flow down my face.
“I don’t know when he was going to give it to you, or even when he bought it, but it is meant for you” she said. “He loved you Mon, he told me that, he had asked me if you could come and live here, until he got a job, the day he was, well he asked me that day”
I smiled, he said he was going to work it out, he had made a plan. Sandra patted my leg, as she got up and left the room, she shut the door quietly. I laid my head down on Dylan’s pillow, and took in his scent. I didn’t realise it but as I lay there I fell asleep, a heavy solid sleep. When I woke again, my shoes had been taken off and I was under the blanket. I had forgotten a time when I had slept so well. I looked over at the clock on the table next to the bed and saw that it was 10am.
I climbed out of bed, and opened the wardrobe door, I wanted to see more of him, to touch his clothes, as the door swung open I saw stuck to the inside a photo. It was from a photo booth at the shopping centre. We had taken it on one of our last afternoons together, we had been to see ‘Silence of the lambs’ at the cinemas, and before we left we climbed into the photo booth. It had taken three photos, I had forgotten all about them, but there I stood looking at us smiling for the camera and kissing in the middle one, the final photo was of him giving me bunny ears, while I looked at him smiling. As I hadn’t heard the door open, nor had I heard Jessica come up beside me.
“You were his girlfriend, not Tilly”
I jumped with surprise, and let out a yelp, as I slammed the door shut of the cupboard.
“Sorry I didn’t mean to scare you” Jessica said looking hurt.
I reached out and hugged her and let her know that I wasn’t mad. I led her out of the room, and found Sandra in the kitchen, with a steaming cup of coffee in her hands. As Jessica and I walked into the kitchen arm in arm, she looked up and smiled.
“Well hello there, sorry I didn’t wake you, you looked so peaceful and your Dad said it was first time he had seen you sleeping so solidly in a long time, so we chose to let you be”
I smiled and thanked her I told her that I had slept really well. She offered to make me a drink, but I refused and said that I had to get back home to Dad. I promised that I would call back in the next day to spend some time with her and Jessica. As I left, Sandra gave me a hug, and touched the bracelet on my arm, smiling. I smiled back and walked with my head in the clouds all the way home.
Chapter Fourteen.
As I walked up the driveway, I could hear shouting coming from the house, I knew that the shouting was Tilly, but I couldn’t make out the other voice. I slowly opened the door, and poked my head in.
“What was I supposed to fucking do?” I heard Tilly shout.
“Not be a complete psycho would have been a good start”
I worked out that the voice was Shelly’s and my anger went from zero to one hundred in no time at all. I thought about bursting in the through the door and punching her in the face, punching Tilly in the face, just punching everyone. But I felt like I was standing against an invisible shield and something was preventing me from going inside.
“You only care, because you were fucking him” Tilly shouted.
There was silence, and I could hear footsteps coming towards the front door, I was about to close the door and run down the driveway but I was too slow, suddenly the knob was snatched out of my hand and the door swung open. Shelly stood staring at me in shock. Her eyes sunken and her cheeks drawn in, we stood there staring each other down like an old Western dual. I wished I had the gun to pull out and shoot her.
“Mon” she said quietly, before she pushed me to one side and rushed down the driveway and up the road.
I watched her run up the street, and as I turned around I saw Tilly standing in the hallway, all colour had gone from her face.
“What are you doing sneaking around listening to private conversations now?” she vehemently spat at me.
I frowned as my anger began to boil over.
“It was a bit hard not to hear your conversation, when you are shouting, I could hear you down the road” I said, as I found my feet and pushed her out of my way so I could go into my bedroom. She was right behind me, and grabbed me by the hair, as she yanked my head backwards. I lost my footing and fell onto the floor with a squeal.
“You’re a bitch” she screamed in my face, her fist was raised and came down hard onto my cheek. I suddenly felt Tilly climb onto my waist and I covered my stomach. I tried to protect the baby, I cried out, and tried to reason with her, I tried to make her stop.
“You think because your pregnant you little slut that your so fucking special. Your nothing but a slut, a whore, a filthy dog whore” she screamed as she slapped me hard in the face again.
I tried to move my hips to throw her off me, but she was too strong, I couldn’t move her. Panic had filled my entire body, I hardly felt the sting of her punches and slaps, and all I could envision was that I was going to lose what was left of Dylan and me. With one hand she held my hair in her fist every now and then she lifted my head to slam it against the floor.
“Dylan, Dad or Michael isn’t here to fucking protect you now. You’ve got fucking no one now, you cunt” she screamed.
Her fist came down hard into my face; I heard the crunch of my nose, before I felt the pain. Suddenly everything went black. When I came to, I was still on the floor, the house was cold, and Tilly was no longer on top of me. My head pounded, and I could feel the blood that had crusted around my face. I couldn’t open my left eye and my mouth felt swollen and sore. I reached down to my stomach, and touched all around my tummy, as I felt my panic begin to rise again. I was unsure what Tilly had done to me. I rolled onto my side; every muscle felt like it was on fire. Slowly I got up onto my hands and knees and was able to push myself up to my feet. I saw a gold sparkle next to the wall, and picked up what was left of my bracelet, the chain shattered into pieces. At that moment I didn’t care if Tilly had read the inscription, part of me hoped she had. I felt dizzy at first and had to hold onto the wall for fear of falling, but I managed to make my way into the bathroom.
The light was blindingly bright as it sparked to life I grabbed the towel off the rail and wet the edge of it. As I looked in the mirror I could see my left eye was completely swollen shut, I had a cut in the fleshy part just above my cheek under my eye, which stung like hell when I touched it with the wet towel. My top lip looked twice the size, and had a large split on it and my face was almost blue in colour. I gently dabbed the towel on my face, and washed off the blood, the pain caused me to wince with every touch. I was exhausted. And for the first time in my entire life, as I looked at my deformed face, I prayed to God, I prayed that he woul
d just kill me and take me away from all of this life. I wanted to be with Dylan, I couldn’t take any more of this. My eyes were too sore to even cry. I heard the front door open; I ran and slammed the bathroom door shut, and leant up against it. I didn’t want to give Tilly another chance to finish the job she started.
“Tilly, Mon?” I heard my dad’s voice call.
I swung the bathroom door open and ran into the hallway and into his arms. He cried out when he saw my bruised, swollen, and virtually unrecognisable face.
“Shit, Mon, what the hell happened” he shouted in panic.
“Tilly” I uttered, it hurt to move my lips.
“Where is Tilly?” he said, panic gripped his whole face.
I shook my head, and pointed at my face.
“Tilly did this?” he said, his eyes changed from panic to overwhelming sadness. “Where is she?”
I shook my head, I didn’t know where she had gone, her bedroom door was open, and so she wasn’t in there, it hadn’t even occurred to me until then that she could have still been in the house. Dad ushered me into my room and told me to pack some clothes into a bag. I did as he said in a complete daze, my mind had so many thoughts, and they were all jumbled, my head pounded, my face felt like it was going to tear open at any point. Once I had some clothes in my bag, he packed me into the car, and drove me over to Sandra’s house.
Sandra was on the front step when we arrived, and she ran to the car, she opened the passenger door and helped me out of the car. I saw her look over the roof of the car and give my Dad a look that I couldn’t read. She helped me inside, and laid me down in Dylan’s bed. I couldn’t smell his scent anymore, because my nose had started to swell and I couldn’t smell anything.
“We should take her to the hospital” Sandra said to Dad.
Dad nodded his head, and the next thing I knew, I was being bundled off into the car again, being taken back to the hospital. As soon as we walked through the front doors, a nurse looked up from her station, and called out to a man who stood in the corner. The man grabbed the wheel chair next to him and brought it over to me, the nurse and the man guided me to sit down, as they wheeled me into a cubicle. I couldn’t focus on anything, my head hurt so badly. The nurse asked me questions about what happened, but I couldn’t get the words out other than grunts, through my swollen lips.
They moved me up on to a bed, looking in my eyes with small torches and asking Sandra questions about who I was. I closed my right eye and prayed more, I was in so much pain. The nurse touched my arm and told me she was going to put a drip in my arm and give me some medicine to make the pain ease. I felt the prick of the needle in my arm and slowly everything went dark again.
In the darkness I turned, I felt like I was in a room, but couldn’t make out any furniture or objects.
“Mon?”
I spun on my heel to the voice that I recognised all too well. It was Dylan’s face that I saw. I almost screamed with delight to see him, he looked down at me a smile that covered his face. I ran towards him, but it felt like no matter how fast I ran, I couldn’t get any closer to him. I felt frustrated and looked to Dylan for answers.
“Stop running Mon, you can’t come where I am” he said.
“But why?” I said in frustration.
Dylan smiled again, and took a step closer to me I could smell his scent and almost feel the warmth of his body as he came to stand next to me. He put his arm out to touch my hair and I winced at the sudden pain that I felt. The pain confused me.
“What’s happening Dylan?” I cried out as he snatched his hand back.
“It’s going to be ok” he cooed.
“How can it be ok if you not beside me?” I cried.
“I’m inside you now Mon, growing inside you, and you will have me again soon”
I smiled and touched my belly, as I felt our baby move against my hand.
“Why did Michael and Shelly do this to you?”
Dylan’s face changed, and suddenly I felt myself being pulled by some invisible force away from the darkness, the sounds of beeping became louder.
When I woke up, I was in a hospital bed, with machines and buzzers connected to me. The room was dark, and I could hear a quiet conversation going on next to me. I opened my eyes, and realised that I could open both eyes. I saw a nurse looking at the machines to my side. Another nurse stood next to me and looked down at my wrist and the bands.
“Hello, welcome back to us” the nurse that had hold of my wrist said. I smiled weakly at her.
The nurse that was looking at the machines looked down at me and patted my hair.
“Monica? You’re in the hospital, in the intensive care unit, you have been here for two weeks, and we have had you in a special sleep, to help your wounds heal.”
I tried to answer her, but I couldn’t speak, I reached up and felt the plastic tube that protruded from my mouth. The nurse took my hand and patted it as she nodded.
“We put that in there to help you breathe while you were asleep, we will take it out soon”
I smiled at her as best I could. They told me that they were going to go and get the doctor. I took her hand, and pointed to my stomach. The nurse smiled and patted my hand. And then pointed at one of the machines that had little lines running across this.
“You see this?” she said “this is measuring your baby’s heartbeat. Baby is fine, healthy and strong”
I smiled again, and rubbed my belly, I felt the straps that rang across my stomach; I noticed how it felt bigger. I looked up again at the machine with the lines, and watched as my baby’s heartbeat moved across the screen. I remembered Dylan’s words that he was growing inside me now, but I wish that he had been able to answer me as to why Michael and Shelly had taken him away from us. I lay there watching the baby’s heartbeat for some time, until a lady came into the room, smiling at me.
“Hello, Mon, my name is Doctor Denise, I’m glad to see you awake, you gave us all quite a scare for a bit there” she said. “I’m going to take that tube out now ok?”
She wheeled over a trolley, putting on some gloves and opened up a sterilised packet, she untapped the edges of the tube and told me to cough as she pulled. The tube slid out of my throat which made me gag. She reached over and wiped the edges of my mouth with a cloth.
“Thank you” I croaked, glad to be able to talk again.
Doctor Denise smiled down at me and patted my hand. As she left the room, I saw my Dad and Jessica come into the room. Jessica ran to the edge of the bed, and put her arms across my chest. Dad leaned over and kissed my forehead.
“I’ve missed you Mon, I was so worried” Jessica said into my chest, I reached up and patted her hair. “They wouldn’t let me see you while you were asleep, only your dad could come”.
“Every day, I came and sat with you” Dad said.
I smiled and held his hand. Even though I had been asleep for two weeks, I was still so tired, and for the next couple of days I slept heavily.
Finally I was being moved out of the intensive care unit and into a normal ward in the maternity section. All the monitors had been taken off me, and I was able to get out of bed. I was sick of being in hospital and was looking forward to going home. Dad, Sandra and Jessica visited every day. Jessica brought me something she had made with her with every visit. I loved it; I loved having them come in. My belly was beginning to protrude quite a lot, and it felt like the baby was fluttering like a butterfly inside me. Dad said that the police charged Tilly with assault; she had been released and was home, but would have to go back to court in a few months’ time.
When I was finally released from the hospital, Dad had organised for me to stay at Sandra’s house, she said that I could have Dylan’s room, which I was thrilled with. She told me that no one had slept in it, since I did after his funeral. Sandra said that I could do what I liked with Dylan’s things, but I had planned to leave them in place, right where he left them, it would be like having him there still.
Chapter F
ifteen.
Everyday seemed to go faster than the last and my belly was growing in girth, the doctors were happy with the size and kept telling me my baby was healthy. Sandra told everyone that her daughter in law was simply glowing. My belly had outgrown my normal clothes and my back was aching.
We still hadn’t heard anything about the trial of Michael and Shelly. Tilly had been to court over my assault, the lawyer said that I wouldn’t have to attend, but I still wanted to be there. I sat in the back row and listened as the magistrate gave a long speech to Tilly about family and the issue of drugs. Tilly sat in the front row, her head bowed and shoulders shaking under the weight of her sobs. My dad sat next to her, stiff backed looking directly at the judge. She had pleaded guilty and the judge had sentenced her to community service and a five year good behaviour bond. The magistrate said that Tilly wasn’t to come near me or the baby in that time, and she was to enter a drug rehabilitation program. I couldn’t tell if the tears were all a show, as when she walked past me out of the court room, she smiled at me with hate filled eyes.
I hadn’t seen or heard from her since the court date, and I had no interest in it either. I was seven months pregnant, my belly was well rounded and the baby was the right wriggle worm. Dylan’s room, that was now mine, was filled with baby clothes and furniture, and I knew that I had to make a start at removing some of Dylan’s belongings in order to fit the baby in. Slowly I began to remove his clothes putting them into a box, Sandra had said that I should give them away to someone who could use them, I knew she was right, but I struggled with the thought of someone washing his smell from the clothes, not that his scent was overly present still. But there I sat on the floor as I touched every inch of fabric of his jumpers, shirts and jeans.
In one of his jeans I felt something folded in the pocket, I reached in and could feel a piece of paper. When I opened it up I could see a phone number handwritten in blue ink, in the centre. The number didn’t look familiar, and neither did the handwriting. I went to the hall and picked up the handle of the phone as I pressed the buttons of the number written on the page I heard the line begin to ring.