Blair nodded. “Can I have some time to think about this? I’m not saying no. I’m just saying… I need some time.”
“Of course. Oh, and I’ve told the rest of the clan to back off you a little. They’ve been acting like fucking creeps.”
That made Blair laugh, which made Declan happy. He stood up and leaned down again to kiss her on the forehead.
“I’m going to take a walk. You take a few minutes to wake the rest of the way up and soak things in. Believe me, Blair, I don’t want to pressure you at all. I just needed you to know how I felt about you. Once I get back, then we can meet back up with everyone else for dinner. Does that sound okay?”
Blair yawned again and nodded, so Declan took that as his cue to leave. He walked out the back door and down the deck stairs that lead out into the forest below. Once he was at the base of the lodge, hidden from few in a patch of tall pine trees, he stripped out of his clothes and folded them up in a neat pile, then set them on top of a large rock. The only thing more satisfying than the feeling of the warm summer sun on his naked skin?
The stretching pain he felt as he shifted into his bear form. It reminded him he was alive, that he was unique, and that he was powerful. His limbs became four strong bear legs, muscled and formidable, and his neck became thick, his head massive and his jaws intimidating. Normally, because of his bear’s genetics, Declan was one of the lither animals in his clan, but because of his recent obsession with working out, he’d become a force to be reckoned with. His body was a mass of muscles, and even his paws seemed bigger when he looked down at them.
When he was stressed, or angry, or confused, the only thing that took away his anxiety was shifting into his bear form and going for a run. Telling Blair exactly how he felt made him more anxious than he has ever been. Once he shifted he could already feel the pressure start to melt away as he loped through the woods. The tree branches brushed against his fur as he ran, and he enjoyed the visual of the other forest animals scurrying away as he approached. The other bears would often hunt while in their natural state, but that wasn’t Declan’s thing. He liked a nice, rare steak as much as the next guy but killing anything with his teeth didn’t appeal to him or his bear. Even his bear enjoyed a few of its human’s perks, and one of those perks was having someone else make their food.
Once Declan broke through the woods and out in the clearing, he stopped in the grassy valley a few miles from the lodge. He collapsed into the tall grass and rolled around, relishing the feel of the flora against his fur. There were days when Declan thought it wouldn’t be the worst thing to be a bear full time. He could play in the water, run through the trees, not wear pants… Sure; he’d have to start hunting for his food, but it seemed like a small concession in exchange for the freedom that came with being in his true form.
But then, as he lay on his back and looked up at the sun, he remembered that being trapped as a bear in mate frenzy wasn’t the same as shifting at will. It meant a life of misery and panic and tearing through the woods looking for something he’d never find. Any peace the bear felt now would be long stripped away, and replaced with fear and loneliness. It wasn’t the kind of life a bear deserved. And it wasn’t the kind of life a human deserved either.
Declan didn’t know what he’d do if Blair walked away, but one thing was for sure…
He wasn’t going to live like that. No way.
Chapter 15
Blair
Blair didn’t know what to make of anything that Declan had told her. She had heard Scarlett talk about mates before, but she thought it was just shifter language to refer to one’s partner. Blair had no idea that carried such importance and tradition. It wasn’t that she didn’t relish the idea of being with someone for the rest of her life, but the way Declan talked about it, it sounded so much more intense than just being in love. It sounded like his entire life relied on her agreeing to be with him.
And that was way more pressure than she had counted on.
Blair had known Declan for a total of three days. Sure; she had felt an intense draw to him in the bar that night. Probably more intense than she had ever felt for anyone else. But humans didn’t respond to the whole “mate” thing the way bears did, did they? She thought it was just chemical, an attraction to his physicality and power. And yes, she’d gotten to know him on a more personal level in the days since. But could it have been more than that? Could she have instinctively known that there was something between them?
Blair shook her head and chastised herself. You're ridiculous. You’re a human. It doesn’t work like that.
She walked over to the window that overlooked the valley and let out a long, weary sigh. She watched the birds flying and the leaves gently shaking in the breeze and…
Was that a bear?
Out of nowhere, Blair saw a huge, beautiful brown bear lumbering through the trees, and heading away towards another valley in the distance. She blinked a few times, to try and register it since she’d never really seen a bear anywhere but the zoo when she was a kid. She couldn’t believe it. It was robust and powerful but somehow still gentle and kind. It reminded her of Declan.
Holy shit, was that Declan?
Blair ran out of the bedroom and into the main house of the lodge. She found Lani and Scarlett in the living room playing a board game, but none of the guys were around. Were they all out doing… bear things?
“Hey, is Declan around?”
Scarlett and Lani looked up, their smiles more muted than before, but still happy to see her. “Haven’t seen him. Not since he went to talk to you. Everything okay?”
Blair sat down next to them on the couch and crossed her arms. “Yeah, fine. But by any chance, would he have gone outside and… shifted?”
Lani chuckled. “A good chance. When they’re up here, they have the opportunity to shift more often and be safe in their true form. They can sniff and run and do whatever the hell it is bears do. Did you see a gray bear? Or a huge black bear?”
Blair shook her head. “Brown. Light brown. Thin through the middle but muscular.”
“That’s Declan,” Scarlett and Lani said at the same time.
“His genes are the descendants of the extinct Irish brown bear. Very rare. I think he has some other species mixed in there, but the lineage of his heritage bear makes him look super unique. You’d never mix Declan up with any of the other guys,” Scarlett said as she built a hotel on her most expensive property, making Lani whine in protest.
“Huh. This guy at Bear Ridge was trying to pick a fight with Declan, and he called him a ‘dirty Irish Brown Bear.’ I thought it was like, a bear slur or something.”
Scarlett laughed. “I mean, it certainly wasn’t a nice thing to say in that tone of voice. The Colorado clan is different than a lot of others because they don’t discriminate against species. Grizzlies, polar bears, hybrids… They don’t refuse to let anyone in based on their fur color. They all agreed that they had all undergone the same genetic transformation in the military so it shouldn’t matter what bear specific genes they ended up with. But there are a lot of prejudices in the bear community. Since so many clans developed after the genetic programs were canceled there has been some conflict between them all. So, whoever you were scuffling with probably had an issue with brown bears. Best you left that one on the island.”
Lani huffed and pushed away from the board game. Blair thought maybe she was frustrated because she was losing so badly, but then she crossed her arms and cursed.
“It just makes me so mad! All of these guys have so much in common, and some of them can be such jerks to each other. Why are they like that?”
“Like what?” Frank asked as he came around the corner, the other guys behind him. Scarlett waved a hand.
“Never mind. Too much serious talk for a beautiful night like this. Kurt, will you call Declan in? We need all the help we can get with dinner tonight,” Scarlett said as she walked into the kitchen to start getting everything together. Blair followed Kurt out
onto the porch as he followed Scarlett’s instructions, but she stopped him before he could sound any kind of call. He turned to Blair with a smile.
“What’s up, buttercup?”
Blair took a deep breath. “I need you tell me if I am Declan’s mate or not.”
Kurt looked taken aback. “What? Blair, I have no way of knowing…”
“Kurt, I know you are the Alpha of the clan. You know everything that is going on with your bears. So, am I Declan’s mate or not?”
Kurt took Blair’s hand and led her over to a lovely rocking bench that was suspended from the edge of the deck. At first, she thought she would feel the same spark that she did when she touched Declan’s hand, but Kurt touch felt normal. They sat down, and Kurt pointed out towards the forest.
“Do you see all that space out there? When you’re a bear, there is nothing you love more than just running and running until you can leave the whole world behind you. But when you have a mate, the world suddenly gets a lot smaller. You find you don’t want to run anymore. You just want to be home, and keep your lover safe. It changes your perspective on things.”
Blair leaned forward and looked out over the forest. “Okay…”
“Blair, I can’t tell you whether or not you’re Declan’s mate. I can’t tell that to Declan that either. What I can tell you is, to look inside your heart and see how you actually feel about him. If you make the decision to give Declan a chance, I promise he’ll be truer and kinder to you than any other man in the world.”
Blair winced. “Did Scarlett tell you about Nathan?”
“Nothing concrete and nothing you should be embarrassed about. I just want you to know that there is no chance of anything like that happening with Declan. I know that this a lot to take in. But trust me when I say to let your emotions guide you. Now, may I call him in to help with dinner? He’s better on the grill than I will ever be.”
Blair smiled and gestured for him to go ahead, and Kurt let out a sound that was half growl/half shout, that echoed all over the forest. A few moments later, Declan came walking out of the woods, in his human form, naked as the day he was born. Blair felt herself blush, and Declan just laughed. But then, somewhere behind her, she could have sworn she heard another noise. It almost sounded like a spiteful cough. She spun around, trying to see where it may have come from, but there was no one else on the deck. Kurt turned to her, a suspicious eyebrow raised.
“Anything wrong?”
She shook her head. “No. I mean, I don’t think so. I just thought I heard something.”
Kurt turned too, now looking more concerned. “What did you hear?”
“A voice. Well, it sort of sounded like a voice. I guess I just heard things. I’m not used to all this country air.”
Declan walked up the stairs, now back in the clothes he’d been wearing when he left the room, but carrying his boots. His shoulders immediately squared, as if he sensed something was wrong.
“What is it? What’s going on?”
Blair started to brush him off, but Kurt stepped forward. “Blair thought she heard a voice.”
Blair laughed, though it came out as more of a nervous shriek. “Guys, it was probably just an animal, or reverb from inside. What are you both getting so worked up about?”
Declan walked slowly around the deck, looking behind things, then peeking around corners, as if he were expecting to catch someone. Blair began to feel a little panicked.
“Should we do a perimeter search? Just to be sure?” Kurt asked.
Declan shook his head. “No. No need. I don’t think it’s that dire. We may just be descending into paranoia too.”
“But I’m not the one who heard it. It was Blair, and no one told her that…”
Blair’s heart rate began to pick up. What the hell were they talking about! And why were they acting like she wasn’t standing right there! “Hey! Told me what? What is going on? You guys are freaking me out.”
Declan walked up and pulled Blair into a giant hug, squeezing her tightly in his arms until she felt her heart rate slowly go back to normal. It was like fairy magic, and she both hated and loved it. Declan kissed her on the top of the head.
“It’s nothing. I’m sorry for frightening you. Just bear nonsense. We’re overreacting to something that may not be anything because it’s so important to us to keep you safe. Come on. Let’s go inside and get dinner started.”
Blair wanted to argue, but she was hungry, and the bear hug was still scrambling her brain. So, she followed the guys inside, thoughts of whatever had happened on the deck momentarily pushed aside.
***
As a group, the clan, their mates… and Blair started making a fabulous summer feast. Pork skewers with ancho chili marinade, fried squash blossoms and heirloom tomatoes, roasted red pepper carpaccio, and delicious bourbon berry lemonade to drink. Blair and Declan were put in charge of the skewers, so they went out on the deck to grill everything correctly. The smell of the marinated meat cooking over the coals filled the surrounding forest, and Blair felt her mouthwatering. She smiled over at Declan.
“I thought you couldn’t cook.”
Declan scoffed. “I said I didn’t know anything about food. That doesn’t mean I don’t know how to cook. And besides, this isn’t cooking. It’s grilling.”
Blair peeked over at the grill and shrugged. “I don’t know about that. It takes skill. A lot of people couldn’t do this properly if you paid them.”
Comfortable silence permeated between them as they stood over the grill. A voice inside Blair told her that she needed to figure out this whole mate thing with Declan, but she didn’t want to ruin this moment. Blair looked over at Declan and smiled. He truly was an amazing man, and even though she only knew him for a short time, she could easily see how much he cared for her. The voice in Blair’s head became more insistent, and finally, Blair opened her mouth.
“Declan… I need to talk to you about something.”
Declan let out a low rumble. “Can it wait until after dinner? I know we need to have this talk, but if we could have it later? Under the stars? Maybe drink some wine. Without everyone at the door listening.”
Blair turned her head and saw the entire clan standing behind the sliding glass door, practically with their faces pressed against it. She laughed in spite of herself.
“Good point. Later.”
Declan gave the skewers one last turn, and then piled them up to take back inside. Everyone had already dispersed and were trying to act like they hadn’t been spying on Declan and Blair a moment before.
“Hey! Declan! That meat finally done? Took you long enough,” Reid shouted from behind the stove, not making eye contact. Blair laughed.
“Smooth. Real smooth. Why don’t you worry about those burning squash blossoms?”
Reid swore and tried to salvage the surviving squash as everyone made fun of him. “Yeah, yeah, whatever. Maybe cooking isn’t one of my great skills, but I have others.”
“Like what?” Lani shouted from the living room.
“You’ll never find out.”
Everyone laughed, and Blair suddenly realized how at home she felt. The easy comradery that the clan had was touching, but she also loved how they teased each other. They seemed like a real family, and she’d only ever had her mom growing up. She’d never known what it was like to have a big, loving family. And for a second, she could see what that might be like with Declan, and Scarlett and all of the crazy Colorado bears.
They sat down to dinner, and the conversation flowed as easily as the drinks. Lani asked Blair a lot of questions about her job, and her life in Boston and Blair tried to make it clear that it was tremendously boring. They talked about upcoming weddings, and the possibilities of babies, and when Reid and Frank would finally settle down. But all through dinner, the whole time they were talking and eating and laughing, every time Blair looked over at Declan, he looked stressed. Concerned. Like he was watching everything out of the corner of his eye.
�
��Declan, are you okay?” Blair asked as she finished off her second drink. Declan didn’t answer and just kept staring out the back window. Suddenly, he jumped.
“OW! Kurt, did you fucking kick me?”
Kurt rolled his eyes. “Subtle, man. You haven’t eaten a thing. How about you come back to the land of the living for a while?”
“God, I’m sorry,” Declan said, then reached out to squeeze Blair’s hand. “I’m just a million miles away tonight.”
Blair tried to force away the nerves she was feeling about Declan’s distraction. Did he want to talk about cutting things off? No, that would be silly. Not after everything we talked about earlier. Then she thought that perhaps he was just distracted with clan business. But that certainly couldn’t be what he wanted to talk to her about. No, something else was going on, and no one was telling her what it was. And she wasn’t sure how much more she could put up with it.
Once dinner was over, and everyone was starting in on the dishes, Declan gestured for Blair to join him in the corner of the living room. When she got there, he gave her a long, slow kiss, much to the delight of everyone else in the house. Then he gave her a quick hug. When he pulled away, he looked concerned again. Blair laughed and shook her head.
“You’re working me, aren’t you? What are you after, O’Shea?”
Declan smiled and chuckled. “I promise. I’m not working you. I just need to talk to Kurt about something for a minute. And then it’s just you, me, the moonlight, a bottle of chilled wine… And hopefully none of the prying of eyes of these jerks,” he said gesturing to the rest of the group.
“That sounds like a deal, mister,” Blair said as she stood all the way up on her tip-toes and kissed Declan on his nose. Then, Declan turned and gave Kurt a stern look, and they filed off into a room in the back of the lodge, leaving Blair with Scarlett and Lani. Reid and Frank had taken one of the cars and headed into town, looking for some trouble. The guys had invited Blair and Declan to join them, but they’d declined in favor of moonlight and wine. Though secretly, Blair wondered what a night of debauchery with bear shifters would be like.
Furever Always (Furever Series) Page 30