by Jody Holford
“There are a bunch of festive activities going on. Tree trimmings at a park not too far from here, carol singing in different neighborhoods, a wrap party—that’s with a ‘w,’” Mom said, pausing for them to give an obligatory laugh. Owen rolled his eyes, but she continued. “Have you been to any of them, yet? I was thinking we could choose a couple to do tomorrow.”
Owen’s brain hurt, but he said nothing. His dad caught his eye and grinned. “Learn to go along with it, son. We’ll all come. Right, Gabby?”
“You will join us tomorrow, right, dear? We’ll have lunch and shop and make a day of it,” Beth said.
Owen and his father finished the last of their meals and both of them stood to clear their plates.
Gabby finished off half a biscuit and wiped her hands on her napkin. She glanced at Owen, a reassuring smile on her lips. “Absolutely. That sounds like fun.”
Her eyes sparkled. He had promised she’d get to watch him suffer through all the holiday fun. Looks like she’d get her chance. He came back from the kitchen and grabbed her plate and his sister’s, since she was done. He stopped when Gabby added, “We could go ice skating as well. There’s an outdoor rink downtown.” She folded her hands together, her gaze beaming at Owen.
He set the plate down and walked over to Gabby, coming up behind her chair and leaning low, over her shoulder. “That’s a great idea, babe,” he said for everyone to hear. Under the guise of kissing her cheek, he leaned in, his lips hovering so close to her ear he brushed it and felt her shiver. “Payback, Gabby?”
She chuckled and turned her face so they were eye to eye. Despite her laugher, there was something else in her gaze. “Absolutely, babe,” she whispered back.
“I don’t know if I’m up to ice skating, but I can take pictures,” Patty said.
Owen backed up, his thoughts a bit fuzzy, like they were running into each other head on. She’d called him ‘babe’. No one had ever called him that. He liked it. Owen resumed clearing the table and worried one of two things was happening: he and Gabby were extremely good at pretending, or he was experiencing some surprisingly strong chemistry with his best friend.
Both options scared him.
They finished up their card game when the kitchen was back to normal. He took some teasing from his family about how he still needed everything in order. What was wrong with being organized and neat? More than once, Gabby defended his penchant for clean, making his heart squeeze. She always had his back.
“I need some sleep,” Patty announced. Owen’s stomach cramped. They hadn’t sorted out sleeping arrangements. How had he forgotten? Because they weren’t supposed to be here until tomorrow and I was going to talk to Gabby tonight.
He and Gabby looked at each other. She spoke first. “I should get going, too. Let you all get settled and visit. I have a pull-out couch, so a couple of you can bunk there. I’ll go make it up.”
“What do you mean get going?” Beth asked, looking up from the corner of the couch where she was knitting with a dark green wool.
Gabby widened her eyes, silently asking Owen to step in. He tried to, but he didn’t know what solution to offer, so no words left his mouth. He had a second bedroom, but other than some workout equipment he rarely used, it was bare. He preferred having his office in front of the windows, close to the kitchen. And he’d thought of picking up an air mattress but had gotten sidetracked. Gabby was glaring at him. He grimaced and hoped his shrug came across as apologetic.
His dad gave a deep laugh. “I think we’re old enough to know you two aren’t spending nights in your own beds. No need to change the routine for us. Why don’t your mother and I sleep across the hall in Gabby’s bedroom, if that’s okay with her, and Patty and Ophelia can take her couch? Then you two have the apartment to yourselves again.”
Owen bit back his sigh of relief. This could work. He and Gabby would be alone, and he’d just offer to take the couch and give her his bed. He’d get up before his family came back over in the morning. Before he could speak, Ophelia caught his eye, giving him a similar look to the one Gabby just had. Gabby clearly picked up on the fact that Lia didn’t want to bunk with her aunt.
Her cheeks were that sweet shade of red he liked seeing, but her voice was strong when she said, “We really don’t need the apartment to ourselves. Ophelia, why don’t you sleep here on Owen’s couch, and your parents and aunt can have my place? I’ll just go over and change my sheets, and get some blankets out for Patty to bunk in my living room.” She rose from the couch.
“You shouldn’t go to all that trouble for us. Let me make up the beds,” Beth said.
“I’ll help, too,” Patty said.
Gabby shook her head and Owen saw the tension in her face. “No. Please. I need to grab a few things anyway. Besides, you’re guests. I would never ask you to do that.”
“Aw, come on. We’ve had a meal, we’re sharing Christmas together, and you love our son. I think we’re more than guests,” his dad said. Owen’s stomach lurched as his dad added, “We’re family.”
She was family. In an entirely different way than any of the others, but no less important. In fact, in many ways, she was more. Because he couldn’t imagine going a week without seeing her, never mind the months he went without his family. Owen felt like he was being squeezed in a vice from the inside out.
His mind was in overdrive as everyone started to move and grab suitcases. He caught Gabby’s arm as she was heading out the door.
His palms felt sweaty so he let her go before he whispered, “Gabs? What are we doing? Where will you sleep?”
She stopped and looked up at him. Putting one hand on his chest, she whispered back, “Exactly where your family expects me to. With my boyfriend.” He couldn’t read the smile on her face, but his traitorous body was a big fan of her answer.
Chapter Eight
Gabby didn’t want to think about what was to come. As if you haven’t thought about it a million times already. She’d imagined it and fantasized about spending the night in his bed, but never like this. Not once had she pictured lying beside Owen all night pretending she was his girlfriend while his sister slept steps away on the couch. But it was so clear Ophelia didn’t want to sleep beside Patty. What could she do? If they really were a couple, it would have seemed silly to need the apartment to themselves and make the two women share a bed. She yanked the corner of the fitted sheet around the end of the bed. She had a new understanding of the phrase “take one for the team.” Stupid. Stupid. Why did you think you could do this? All night lying beside him? Grabbing the top sheet, she waved it up and down in the air, trying to straighten it across the bed. What if he sleeps naked? Even if he does, he won’t while you’re here. Which was a shame. No, not a shame. Sanity saving. It’ll be hard enough lying next to him dressed for bed.
Her bedroom door opened and shut quickly. Owen stood against the door, hair slightly disheveled, a wary look in his eyes. Oh, God. She didn’t need him in her bedroom. She needed five minutes away from him before she spent the night with him. Was that too much to ask? She wished she had the equivalent of a hazmat suit. Someone should invent that. Put this on and the lust you feel for your best friend will go unnoticed. Likewise, the sexy scent of his soap will not seep into your skin.
Her tone was clipped, but she couldn’t help it. “What are you doing in here?” She yanked the blanket up the bed and Owen grabbed the pillows from where she’d tossed them on the floor.
“Apologizing. Gabby, I didn’t think this all the way through. I’m sorry. I’ve put you in a stupidly awkward position. I can’t even believe I didn’t think about this. On the upside, my family loves you.”
The muscles around her heart tightened. It was hard enough to pretend she didn’t love-love Owen, but not falling for his family was an impossible feat. He was so different from them, yet he fit. He didn’t think he did, but as an outsider, she could see the truth. Gabby hated feeling like she didn’t fit. Anywhere. At least, not for real. Being with them coul
d make her forget that. For this week, anyway.
“They’re great. I’m not sure how you ended up being wound so tight, but they love you and it shows. I feel like you should have time alone with them, though, so maybe I’ll make myself somewhat scarce,” Gabby said. She took the coward’s way out and used the act of plumping the pillows to avoid Owen’s gaze.
He stepped closer, bent his knees to try and catch her gaze. “Uh-uh. No way. You’re their favorite thing about me right now. And I’ll let the wound-so-tight comment go, for now. Come on. We should get back. Patty needs some sleep. You’re not mad, are you?”
He came all the way around the bed and turned her so they were facing each other. She pasted on a smile. “Nope. Why would I be mad? So we sleep side by side for the night. It’s not like you’ve never seen me in my pajamas.”
Owen laughed. “That’s true. You do favor them over a lot of your other clothing. But really, this matters a lot to me, so thank you.”
Gabby pulled her lip between her teeth, using the pressure to stop herself from blurting out something she couldn’t take back. It was one week. She spent dozens of nights next to him on the couch or across the table eating dinner. They were friends. Friends. Catch a ball game friends. Order pizza, binge watch Netflix friends, “hey, can you grab me this when you run to the store?” friends. She was completely comfortable with him. Even after she’d realized her feelings were beyond the friendship zone, she had no trouble maintaining her emotions.
It had happened without permission, almost gradually, so she’d had no control, no ability to stop it. But the moment it had hit her was like a burst of light and color—fireworks. He had been leaning over her at her computer, explaining how to find some documents she’d lost. He’d started reprimanding her about internet safety and computer viruses. She’d looked up, saw he was perfectly serious, and she found it so absolutely adorable, it stole her breath. And she knew. She knew this man standing over her, one hand on the back of her chair, one hand pointing at her security settings, that he was exactly what she wanted.
Without meaning to, she’d come to rely on his company, his opinion, his quiet acceptance of who she was. He knew how to make her laugh and when she needed to be alone. It had been so long since someone knew her, and there was such comfort in that familiarity. She wouldn’t jeopardize what they had. She couldn’t. Without him…she couldn’t think about that. When she’d lost her parents and had surfaced from the grief enough to function, she’d carried blame and self-hatred with her like a security blanket. She told herself she didn’t deserve a family.
When she and Owen grew closer, he’d become the only family she’d ever had as an adult. And now, there was his actual family, who were funny and interesting and downright charming. It was impossible not to feel a connection with them. Doing things Owen’s way let her have a piece of something she’d craved. Which will make it harder when this is done. If they hadn’t lied, Gabby could have become part of his family as a friend. It was too late now. Playing make-believe would have to suffice, because actually being more than friends with Owen and having it not work out would break her. Patty had been right; she’d had enough loss, and Gabby didn’t know if she could recover from losing Owen, too. So it was a risk she wouldn’t take. She tried to imagine telling him the truth and shook her head. He’d practically jumped away from her when she’d taken the kiss too far last night.
Telling him she loved him for real would be like locking a vault she didn’t have the code to. She’d never get back in.
So she’d do exactly what she said she would and hope the couple of drama classes she’d taken in college would help her pull off her dream role. Owen held out a hand and she took it. When he squeezed, the sensation vibrated right up her arm to her heart. They walked back to find his family laughing loudly over a story Ophelia was sharing.
They said goodnights and shared more hugs—they were like competitive huggers or something—and finally, they were in Owen’s room. She could hear him brushing his teeth and knew she had a problem when even that sounded endearing. Gabby crawled between his sheets, inhaling the scent of him that lingered on his pillow. When she caught herself trying to trap the scent in her chest, she groaned. Sitting up, she grabbed the offending pillow and squished it together before slamming it back down on the bed, punching it a few times with the side of her fist.
“What did my pillow ever do to you?” Owen was leaning in the archway of the bathroom door, smirking at her. He wore plaid pajama bottoms and a loose fit T-shirt. His hair was mussed from pulling the shirt over his head. When he climbed in beside her, Gabby curled her fingers into his bedspread, denying the urge to reach up and run her hand through the thick strands. Her heart played like a drum solo.
Tonight would be like the mornings she let herself stop at the café on the way to work. She always, always wanted an extra doughnut, but she talked herself out of it, every time. Because she didn’t need two. One was enough. And sleeping next to Owen, pretending he loved her, just so he could make his family happy, was enough. Because more would be too much. And like the extra doughnut, she’d regret it. She didn’t need Owen any more than she needed delicious, high-calorie foods. Plenty of people got by in life without doughnuts. Or Owens.
She shifted, unable to find a piece of the bed that didn’t smell like him. Being with Owen, for real, would only end badly, Gabby reminded herself. She couldn’t handle another relationship where she wasn’t enough. She’d been through that with Roger and she knew Owen wanted so much more than what Gabby had to offer. And less in some areas. She didn’t need added heartache any more than she needed the extra sugary treats. Though now, she really wanted both. She sighed into the pillow.
“You okay?” His voice whispered in the dark. He’d shut out the light and rolled to face her.
Inching her bottom back to the edge of the bed, she tried to hold her breath, but couldn’t do that and talk. They weren’t touching, but she could feel him, and if she closed her eyes, the scent of his soap and toothpaste and his skin surrounded her. “Yes. Are you?”
“Mostly.”
She smiled, not that he could see. “Mostly?”
“Yeah. It’s a little odd having you in my bed,” he answered.
Her pulse sped up. Gabby found herself wondering who else had shared this bed with him. He was discreet, and though he’d mentioned a few dates here and there since Vanessa, she didn’t think he’d…connected with anyone. If she were smart, she’d have pretended to sleep. Instead, she spoke. “It’s a little odd to be here. In the place where all the non-prudish action happens.” Oh my God. What is wrong with you?
Owen laughed, hard. “Yeah. That side of the bed has been quiet for a good long time.”
Why did this relieve her so much? She shifted again, settling her hand on the bed between them. His hand covered hers and Gabby went perfectly still. Even her heart paused before picking up speed. She was afraid to move or breathe for fear of interrupting the moment. It was one she wanted to tuck away for lonely nights that would inevitably come. She’d remember the feel of her hand surrounded by his, the weight of it, the way his thumb moved back and forth. With her eyes closed, she listened to the sounds of their combined breathing. Why was this so easy for him?
“Thank you for doing this, Gabs. You’re really the best friend anyone could have.”
Like a deflated balloon, she whooshed out a breath. “Yeah. Back at you.”
Just as she began to nod off, she heard Owen whisper, “You know what’s really weird? How comfortable it is to lie beside you like this.”
Comfort. Cuddly. Sweet.
She was his teddy bear.
Biting down on her lip, she feigned sleep, letting her breathing settle and even out so she could listen to his. She fell asleep dreaming that her pretend life was real.
Chapter Nine
Gabby could hear Owen and his family even with the door to his bedroom closed. He was being a considerate pretend-boyfriend and letting her sleep.
As if she could. She’d tossed and turned for most of the night while he slept soundly. She knew because she watched. Not in a creepy stalker way. Just in an everyday I-love-you-and-want-to-wake-you-up-and-seduce-you sort of way.
She’d feigned sleep when he’d awoken. She’d heard his breathing shift and then felt the bed move as he rolled toward her. Her heart rate had tripled when he’d put his hand on her hip and just lay beside her for a few minutes, and then he was up, quietly moving around his room. She heard him shower and had several indecent thoughts about joining him. Then she’d heard him slip out of the room. He and Ophelia had been quiet, but Gabby didn’t think Leo had it in him to keep his voice down. She’d heard him boom a hearty good morning and Gabby smiled into the pillow.
She smelled waffles and bacon. Her stomach growled and she knew she needed to get up, but it was really hard to leave the bed in which she’d spent the night with Owen. If she stayed right where she was, she could imagine it was everything they were pretending to be.
Her eyes were on the door, so when it opened, Owen’s gaze latched directly onto hers. His smile was like a kick in the gut. Why was he so freaking sweet and who looked that good in the morning? She didn’t want to think about what she looked like with her hair all over his pillow, her face scrubbed of even a hint of makeup, and her eyes likely puffy.
He walked to the side of the bed and sat so her body was curled around his hip. Without a word he put his hand to her hair and smoothed it back from her face. She couldn’t read his expression.
“Hey,” she whispered.
Owen let his hand wander to her arm and rest there, on her biceps, like it was the most natural thing in the world. He thought he didn’t fit in with his theatrical family, but in Gabby’s eyes, he deserved an award for acting.
“Good morning, sleepyhead.”
Gabby curled her fingers together under the pillow so she didn’t reach out and touch his thigh. Or any other part of him. “Sorry. You’re all up and I’m being lazy. Your bed is way more comfortable than mine,” she said. It wasn’t a lie.