“Which is?”
“That, astrology or not, you are very young, Logan. Too young to be trying to investigate what happened to Sean Baylor, even with Henry Jaffa’s blessings. You can’t possibly understand.”
“You were young when you fell in love with Sean Baylor. How would you feel if someone had told you that you couldn’t possibly understand?”
Her cheeks flushed a deep pink, and I’m sure mine were doing the same.
“Where did you hear that?”
“From Cookie.”
“Cookie Burke? How do you know him?”
“I’ve talked to him twice. He’s not hard to find, as I’m sure you know.”
“I haven’t looked for him, and you shouldn’t have either.”
“You can’t mean that. You’re a reporter.”
“And an adult,” she said. “I think it’s irresponsible of Jaffa to allow this.”
“Because I’m young?” I asked.
“Because you’re inexperienced.”
“So were you once. Someone had to give you a chance. Remember how you felt when you were my age? What if someone had told you that you were too young to be with Sean?”
“I was in love,” she said, “and I’m not ashamed of it.”
I thought of Jeremy’s lips and the smell of his hair when it brushed against my face in the cold wind.
“Cookie said you and Sean argued that night.”
“On the boat.” She leaned across the table. “Yes, that’s how I spent my last moments with him. On that boat, screaming at each other. Write that if you want. Now, please leave.”
So, I had been right. I willed my voice to remain steady. “What were you arguing about?”
“The future. Ren thinks I had something to do with his death. That’s ridiculous, of course.”
I tried again. “Why were you fighting?”
She pushed back her chair. “You’re the journalism student. You tell me.”
I tried to think about why these two Air signs, Gemini and Libra, could be so angry with each other. “He was a Gemini, and maybe there were some infidelity issues there. Maybe there were conflicts about goals. Maybe you wanted to move him faster into the limelight than he did. And maybe his Water sign sister wanted more control than he could tolerate.”
“You’re good.” She fiddled with her hair, and I could tell she was nervous. “How much of that did you learn through astrology, and how much by investigative reporting?”
“I don’t know.” I said. “Maybe fifty-fifty.”
“Are you really convinced that Sean’s ghost is haunting Monterey?”
“I know, for a fact, that it’s not.”
“What could make you so sure?”
“I mean,” I said quickly, “I know there are spirits, or whatever you want to call them, at the restaurant and probably other places in town. I just don’t think Sean Baylor is one of them. Cookie doesn’t think so either. I guess we’ll find out when Ghost Seekers shows up tomorrow.”
“Sean would hate that so much,” she said. “It was all about the music for him. That’s why we fought. Between his sister and me, the poor guy didn’t stand a chance.”
“What was he going to do?” I asked. “Stop performing?”
She shook her head, and her smile was so sad that it hurt me to look into her eyes. “He wanted to walk away from everything that happened at the festival that night—all of that attention, the fame—and he wanted me to go to Ireland with him. Change our names and go to freaking Ireland so that he could sing in a pub.”
“And that was a bad thing?”
Her expression went hard, and I knew she was fighting tears. “At the time, I thought so. Today, I wish I had gone. Even if we hadn’t made it as a couple, we would have tried, and he would not be dead. Sometimes, trying is good enough, you know?”
“I know.” It was all I could do to hide my own tears.
“You wanted a story. There’s the story,” she said. “Don’t say I didn’t give you a chance. I hope your dream works out better than mine did.”
We walked out together. The security guard looked up from her magazine only briefly.
“What happened to Richard?” I asked Mercedes.
“Richard?”
“The other security guard. Short, stocky. Wears a lot of scent. He seemed to know you.”
“Now, what are you trying to pull?” She squared off from me on the street, no longer vulnerable. It was my first glimpse of this cynical side of her, and I didn’t know what to do.
“Nothing,” I said. “I talked to him the first time I came here. When he found me upstairs, he showed me where your office is.”
“Where my office was. The second floor has been sealed off for years.”
“That can’t be right,” I said. “I was up there.”
“And now I’m supposed to say that the top floor has been closed since the fire.” She crossed her arms. “Then you’re supposed to say what fire. And finally, you’ll go off and write whatever ghostly something you need to impress Henry Jaffa, right?”
“Wrong,” I said, “but I know what I saw, and I saw a second floor with people working on it. I saw a security guard named Richard.”
“That is impossible.”
“Believe me or don’t. It’s the truth, and I don’t have any reason to lie to you.”
“Except that a security guard named Richard was trapped in the elevator when the fire broke out that night back in the eighties. There was a lot about it in the news then. It should not be too difficult for a young, ambitious reporter to find.”
“I didn’t,” I said. “Obviously, the guard I spoke with was someone else. Thanks for you your time.” I walked away from her in a daze.
NOTES TO SELF
That would be something—if I had channeled the security guard, or just as scary, had imagined him. But I couldn’t have. Richard was as real as I was. Wasn’t he? Even though Mercedes doubted me, she had given me a chance by telling me the truth about her conflict with Baylor. So all he wanted to do was escape and sing in a pub someplace? But he was a curious Gemini, who would have had to know what was going on. Someone who would have to have a secretive Scorpio pal, for instance. I think about Jeremy, his arms around me, and try to tell myself to let it end here. Let Jeremy write his paper and hope for the best. Encourage him to move to Monterey, and not do the one thing I must do. The one thing that, if I am successful, will surely take him from me.
28
WE ALL HAVE A PAST. WE ALL HAVE A FUTURE. BUT ALL
WE REALLY HAVE IS RIGHT NOW. YOU CAN CHANGE YOUR
DESTINY IN ONE MOMENT, IF ONLY YOU REFUSE TO DO
WHAT YOU ONCE DID. THIS IS EASIER FOR SOME SIGNS
THAN IT IS FOR OTHERS. IF YOU ARE A FIXED TAURUS,
LEO, SCORPIO, OR AQUARIUS, FIGHT YOUR NATURAL
INCLINATION TO DO WHAT YOU HAVE ALWAYS DONE OR
WHAT YOU FEEL SAFE DOING. TAKE A CHANCE.
—Fearless Astrology
I would need to remember that advice from Fearless Astrology tonight—to act instead of ponder.
Ghost Seekers arrived, and it appeared that everyone in the workshop wanted to be part of the show, except Jaffa. He seemed almost pained and told us repeatedly that he might be changing our venue if certain people tried to influence his workshop. I knew that he meant Ren Baylor and her trying to get me booted from the college.
That Wednesday night, we all gathered at the restaurant again. It was different this time. A film crew crowded the entrance. A cute guy wearing an olive-green shirt walked around the room greeting people as if it were his party. It was.
Aries Rik McNeil. How many times had I watched that sculpted face on television? A radio personality in Las Vegas before his success with Ghost Seekers, his easy-going manner and apparent lack of ego had made him stand out from other reality show hosts. His knowledge of what he called, “the other side” had done the rest. Now, he was walking up to me as if we were old friends.
�
�You’re one of the kids who heard the music, right?” he asked and put out his hand. “I’m Rik.” As if I didn’t know.
“Logan,” I said.
We shook, and he said, “Doug and Emily told me that you heard Sean Baylor singing upstairs.”
“I heard a song. I’m not sure who the singer was, though.”
“Great. If you don’t mind, would you join those other two girls by the staircase?” His voice was both mellow and raspy. I could imagine it on a car radio late at night.
“I don’t think I should be on the show,” I told him. “I don’t believe Baylor’s ghost was anywhere around here.”
“A nonbeliever, huh?” He couldn’t quite keep the question from sounding condescending.
“That’s not what I’m trying to say,” I told him. “I know there are spirits here. I just don’t think Sean Baylor’s is.”
“Why’s that?”
Because I don’t think he’s dead.
“I don’t know. Just not here.”
“Okay.” He nodded pleasantly enough, and I knew that I had not convinced him. “Those two girls over there really do want to be on the show. Join them, and we can work out the details as we go along.”
I headed where he had directed me. Then I looked over and saw Candice and Vanessa in their skinny little jeans and matching black jackets. They could be twins, except that Vanessa hair’s was dark and Candice’s was light. And Vanessa’s jacket was unzipped as low as she dared, and Candice’s was most definitely not.
He seemed to sense my hesitation. “Is there a problem?” he asked. “Are you concerned that your intuitive powers will be weaker around them?”
It sounded good enough to me. “Kind of like that.”
“You know what we’re doing here? If it really is Sean Baylor’s spirit—or anyone’s—our job is just to help it move on.”
I wanted to tell him that it was not Sean Baylor’s spirit. Instead, I asked, “How does a spirit move on?”
“Maybe because, for some reason, it’s stuck here, on our plane. Violent death. Suicide. Unfinished business.” Although he seemed to be focused only on me, I could tell he was also checking out how many people were filling the room.
“Why can only certain people see them?” I asked, and thought about Richard, the security guard.
“Why question? Perhaps we’re selected for a reason.” He lowered his voice again. “Okay, why don’t you hang out on the other side of the room with the girl who lost consciousness?”
“That works.” I walked happily toward Tati.
“Thanks,” she said. “Fainting disqualifies me, I guess. Those girls are the A team for interviews.”
“Let them go for it, then. We don’t have to be interviewed to write about what happens.”
Just then, Jeremy walked in, and without acknowledging the cameras or the host, headed toward us. The moment our eyes met, I knew that we would get through this night together. This night, and maybe a great many more.
“Hey, Tati.” He patted her arm. “How are you doing?”
“Apparently persona non grata tonight,” she said. “Because I fainted, I’m not a reliable source for Ghost Seekers.”
“And those two girls are?” I asked.
Candice and Vanessa flashed us nasty looks, as if they could hear what we were saying.
“You have a problem?” Tati asked.
“Bitch,” Vanessa shot back.
“Cool it, will you, guys?” Rik said. “Forget the camera. Forget me. Think instead about the spirits trapped here on this plane. Think about how you wish to learn all you can to help free them.”
It was difficult to forget him, since he was standing right next to me, but I tried. Not for Baylor’s sake, of course, but for the spirits that really were trapped here.
And then, the music began. Soft at first, just enough to raise the hairs along my neck. Then, louder. I wasn’t imagining this. Someone, something was trying to be heard. I reached for Jeremy’s hand and felt him reaching for mine. Our fingers connected and clasped. I held on tightly.
Was all we had to say to each other
All we had to say to each other?
Was forever only a feeling . . .
It was happening again. I gasped in spite of myself. Jeremy pulled me closer.
The room seemed to freeze with fear. Beside me, Rik grew still, like a cat waiting to pounce.
On the upper level, a man appeared. Not a man, a shadow of one. He had long dark hair and a guitar draped around him. Sean Baylor. No, not Sean Baylor. It couldn’t be.
“I’m going up there,” I whispered. “You take the stairs.”
I slipped away from the group and sneaked into the elevator. I hit the button for the second floor, where I had first heard Baylor’s music.
It opened with a sigh. I stepped out and ran into the man who was trying to get on, the guitar still slung around his neck.
“What the hell?” He grabbed me and tried to shove me back inside. Even in the disguise, I recognized him. The gold stud he hadn’t bothered to remove from his ear. The stench of smoke.
“Jeremy,” I screamed. “Help me. It’s the boat guy.”
“Shut up.” He shoved me, and I hit the floor hard. My vision was blurred, but I could still see his eyes, still see his black boots coming closer.
I tried to squirm away from him and looked down over the balcony at the horrified faces, then back up at him. To my shock, he looked panicked.
“He’s trying to push her over the edge,” I heard Rik shout. “Let’s get up there.”
“They’re coming,” I said, stunned at how slurred and slow my words came out.
He turned and ran into the shadows.
Jeremy was the first one to reach me, then Jaffa, then Rik McNeil. The three of them helped me to my feet. Tati joined us, and I realized that she had been crying.
“Do you know how close you came?” she asked. “Who would do this?”
I thought about Ren Baylor and wondered if she were crazy enough to want to see me dead. That didn’t make any sense. If Ren wanted to hire someone to kill me, she had enough money to make it happen. Besides, the guy with the gold stud was an amateur. He came after me only because I had discovered him.
We all went downstairs together. Rik and his crew were busy on their cell phones. Vanessa moved to the corner behind the stairs, leaned down, and picked up something. Dark hair curtained her face. What I could see of her expression was rare concentration. She had picked up a phone, and now, she was frantically tapping the keypad.
“Wait a minute,” I told Jeremy.
“ What?”
“Look at Vanessa. She’s not calling anyone. Something else is going on.”
She must have heard me because she turned and gave me an evil look. “Do you have a problem, Logan?”
I moved toward her and yanked the phone out of her hands.
“Give it back.”
I pressed every button I could find. I finally found her downloaded music. I pressed again, and Baylor’s voice flooded the room.
Was all we had to say to each other . . .
“You,” I whispered.
Jaffa rushed to my side. “Vanessa,” he said, then shook his head as if clueless as to how he should continue.
“She faked it,” I said. “Sean Baylor’s spirit was never here. Vanessa got some help.” Then I thought about all of the time she spent at the theater downtown. “I’ll bet he’s an actor.”
“No big.” Vanessa grinned at Jaffa. “As you know, Henry, all I wanted from this workshop was a role in your new TV movie. My dad said to improvise and use my best talents. You’ve got to admit I did a pretty amazing job.”
“Amazing?” he asked in that icy tone. “Acting is not faking. Logan could have been killed.” He turned to the rest of us. “You kids stay here.”
“I’m going with you,” Jeremy said.
“Me, too.” My head throbbed, but I didn’t care.
NOTES TO SELF
Jeremy and Jaffa found the guy hiding on the balcony. He admitted that he and Vanessa had met at the theater, and that she had hired him to pretend to be Sean Baylor in the restaurant, and later, at the beach. It was a chance at some great publicity, he said. He hadn’t meant to hurt me. About that time, the two police officers came through the door.
All Vanessa had wanted from the beginning was a role in Jaffa’s TV movie. She might have gotten it if she had managed to fool Rik McNeil and Ghost Seekers. It’s been an ecstatic celebration for those of us who chose to hang around tonight. The TV people are treating us like stars. We have won.
And I have lost. I have lost for reasons I don’t even want to think about right now.
29
LOVE IS COMPLEX, AND IT IS POSSIBLE FOR ANY TWO
SIGNS TO BUILD A LOVING RELATIONSHIP. THE STUDY
OF ASTROLOGY IS NOT TO LIMIT YOUR OPPORTUNITIES
BUT TO EXPAND THEM. STUDY THE COMPATIBILITY OF
YOUR SIGNS. KNOW WHERE YOUR DIFFERENCES AND
CHALLENGES LIE. IF YOU REALLY CARE, FOLLOW, NOT
THE ZODIAC, BUT YOUR OWN HEART.
—Fearless Astrology
United/Untied. Switch two letters and change your destiny. This is probably not the best time for me to be reading the love-match section of Fearless
Thursday morning, but I couldn’t help it.
Aquarius: eccentric and seeker of security. Taurus: sensual and committed. It might have worked.
Jaffa announced that today would be our last class. Instead, he will finish Friday with one-on-one meetings with us. Last night, he told me how sorry he was that he allowed me to be put in danger, and he apologized for what he called “Vanessa’s unconscionable behavior.” She was no longer part of the workshop.
I know he likes me, but I also know that there isn’t a chance that my article will win. It can’t begin to compete with Jeremy’s.
Someone knocked on my door early Thursday morning. On the bunk across from me, Tati snoozed on.
Jeremy? If only.
I slipped out of bed and opened the door. Candice stood there, looking like the victim she must believe she was.
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