by Max Lockwood
“The girls have bags,” Carl pointed out. “Pick up a few at the store and you’ll be good to go. My biggest concern is that another group will come by and start hoarding supplies just because they can. We need to beat everyone to the chase. Even if you find stuff we don’t necessarily need, grab it.”
Matthew didn’t understand this logic. He saw the value in being prepared, but at a certain point, it seemed wasteful to hoard things they would never need.
“I’m not sure if I follow,” he said, trying to stay respectful.
“Sorry,” Carl said. “You probably feel a little out of the loop. We’ve talked about what we would do if we were ever in a situation like this, but we hadn’t gotten this far. We think it’s a good idea to establish ourselves as a powerful force, just in case things take a turn. For all we know, we’ll be able to wait it out here and life will be somewhat normal on the other side. But we also have a contingency plan.”
“Basically, we need a form of currency,” Sergio continued. “Money means nothing if we can scavenge. Weapons, food, and first aid are big-ticket items. I imagine that painkillers and antibiotics will be huge. If we clear out a major pharmacy, people will have to go to us for their needs. Starving people will have no choice but to come to us for help. In return, we could get more protection or vital information. We’re making it so we have allies at every turn.”
“By force,” Ellie said, frowning.
Carl sighed. “I know it sounds harsh. I promise, we’re not bad people. We’re just worried about our safety. It’s the only way we know to insure ourselves, you know what I mean? If we could somehow give all displaced people food, shelter, and protection, then we would. But when it comes down to it, we can only give so much of ourselves. It would be a terrible waste to die giving everything we had away.”
Matthew understood their point, but it still sounded colder than what he had dreamed up. In his head, the building would become a place of refuge for people just like him. The world had already suffered enough—Matthew just wanted to be able to do a little good.
“I get it,” Ellie said wearily. “We have to protect ourselves. For all we know, we’ll come across good people who will want to join our group. But there’s got to be a few bad eggs out there. We have to watch out for ourselves first.”
“Exactly,” Sergio said.
Matthew nodded. He would have to come to terms with this new way of thinking. Deep down, he knew that Carl and Sergio were just being smart, but it felt like they were cheapening any future goodwill. After all, Matthew didn’t ask for anything upon admission and gave his supplies away for free. If the soldiers didn’t offer their resources, would Matthew have even thought to demand them?
“I think we need to talk about building security, too,” Matthew said. “Our decaying barricade won’t hold forever. We need to find a way to secure those doors for good.”
“Is there a way we can get those bodies back on the street?” Jennifer asked. “The smell is awful. It can’t be healthy to be breathing in those fumes.”
“We can work on that today, too,” Carl said. “This will be good. To be perfectly honest, I was getting tired of playing cards.”
“Then I say we’ve got our work cut out for us,” Matthew said, getting up from his seat. “Since I’ve been out on a supply run once already, I think I should go again. I have a decent idea of where things are in the drug store, and I’ve killed a few zombies in there already. Who wants to come with me?”
He looked toward Carl and Sergio, but he was surprised to see Pip and Lucas raise their hands first. Everyone nodded in agreement—everybody but Matthew.
Before Matthew could discuss his concern, Carl ripped off a piece of paper from the pad and started diagramming the front entrance with Sergio. They wasted no time in figuring out how to secure the doors and windows with more than just dead bodies and duct tape.
Matthew bit his lip. Pip and Lucas probably weren’t the worst choices for this mission, but he didn’t think they were the best either. Lucas was at least competent with the end of a rifle—Matthew had witnessed him making a few kills. He didn’t know anything about Pip besides the fact that she had a fiery personality. The two of them seemed the most immature, making Matthew wonder if they were pulling some kind of prank on him. He certainly didn’t feel safe trusting those two to defend him in an emergency. Plus, he didn’t want to have to worry about rescuing them if they made a mistake.
“Okay, we should leave soon,” Matthew said to Pip and Lucas. Pip was twirling a strand of hair around her finger and Lucas was talking to Genevieve. He didn’t have high hopes for their mission, nor did he feel like he was in a position to order them around. After all, he was merely an acquaintance. He worried that it would only be a matter of time before they realized that they didn’t need whatever it was Matthew had to offer and split.
“Cool,” Pip said casually. “I’ll just empty my bag and I’ll be ready to go.”
She left the room and came back a few minutes later, hauling a large backpack into the conference room. After dumping out several handfuls of food wrappers, she set a handgun, several boxes of bullets, and an axe on the table.
Lucas pulled his own bat from underneath the table and rubbed his hands on the smooth, polished wood. Using his sleeve, he buffed off a little dried blood from the weapon. Jennifer tossed him an empty backpack and he slung it on his shoulders. He looked like a college student—like the stereotypical jock from a teen movie. Matthew wondered what he was getting himself into.
“Let’s talk strategy,” Matthew said apprehensively. “Obviously, we need food and water. The more nutritious the food is, the better. I think that goes without saying.”
The other two nodded along as he spoke, though he doubted they were truly listening.
“You might also want to grab things like soap, toothpaste, and deodorant,” Matthew added. “If you can find clothes or blankets of any kind, grab them. You never know what we’ll need. Once we get through the bodega, we’ll swing back around to the pharmacy and get more first aid supplies and pharmaceuticals. Zombies permitting, we might be able to make more than one trip. But do your best to get as much as you can, as quickly as possible.”
“Got it,” Pip said. “Basically, grab whatever we can get our hands on.”
“I guess, yeah,” Matthew said. “Can someone guard the door while we’re gone?”
Ellie raised her hand. “I think I can handle that.”
“What about someone to guard our stuff up here?” Carl said. “If worst comes to worst, I don’t want anyone sneaking in here and taking our stuff.”
“I stay here,” Genevieve said, looking annoyed. She knew that someone would have volunteered her if she didn’t volunteer herself.
“What do you want me to do?” Jennifer asked.
“You can keep lookout for us while we board up the door,” Sergio said. “We’ll probably have to expose the building at some point, so if you can hang back and shoot zombies if they ambush us, that would be helpful.”
“I can do that.” She smiled.
Matthew frowned. He would have liked to have more help with his operation. It didn’t seem promising.
“Let’s get this over with,” Matthew said, feeling irritated. “Lucas, are you taking that bat?”
“Sure am.” He smiled, giving it a practice swing.
“Okay. Pip, are you taking that handgun? Would you rather trade with Genevieve and take her knife?”
“I think I’m going to take the axe on this adventure,” she said, lifting the heavy weapon.
Matthew frowned. “Are you sure? That seems a little too heavy for you. I’ll do my best to make sure you don’t have to fight, but won’t you be better off with something more portable and easy to use?”
Carl choked on his drink of water. Jennifer raised her eyebrows, then looked at the floor.
Pip snarled at Matthew before letting the edges of her mouth curl up into a smile. The look in her eyes frightened Matthew. He
wasn’t sure what he’d said, but everyone was acting like he’d personally offended her. The only thing he wanted to enquire about was for her own good. He didn’t see what the big deal was.
“I think I can handle myself,” she scoffed. “I’m going to go ahead and watch my own ass. I’d like you to take care of yourself.”
“I was just making sure,” Matthew said, defending himself.
“I understand that,” she said icily. “I’m just making sure you know that I can take care of myself.”
She rested the blade of the axe over her shoulder and skipped out of the room. Lucas followed her, his bat in his hand. Matthew slinked behind, holding onto his bat and tucking his knife into his belt. He could feel everyone else’s eyes on him as he left the room.
Once again, Matthew was embarrassed at something he’d said. He wondered if he could ever get it right. His face burned as he heard Carl and Sergio snickering in the conference room.
“I didn’t mean to offend you, Pip,” Matthew said softly as they made their way to the door. He didn’t want the others to hear this apology as they proceeded to the first floor.
“I’m just busting your balls, Matthew.” She laughed. “Lighten up.”
Matthew didn’t remember how. He hadn’t felt light in a long time. In fact, he could hardly remember the last time he was completely relaxed. Even when things were good, a tiny sliver of his mind was on edge. He could never fully escape the feeling that disaster could strike at any time.
He knew that his wife would be ashamed of how he’d treated Pip. While Matthew would have never doubted Rebecca’s abilities, he had known her for a long time. Time and time again, he had seen his wife shine in every task that came her way. She was one of those people who was good at everything. Matthew had learned that it didn’t do any good to feel inferior, but instead to be proud that he got to be with such an incredible woman.
While he had yet to learn about Pip, he could tell there was something special about her. Just from their brief exchange, he knew that she didn’t take crap from anyone. He should have never tested her. But for some reason, Matthew had a hard time relinquishing control. What his impulsive brain and his logical brain said didn’t always match up.
Ellie marched to the emergency exit, returning to her post. She held a borrowed rifle in one hand, buzzing with excitement. She loved feeling like she was part of something. Matthew had the feeling that she had never used a gun in her life, but it didn’t seem like a good time to ask. If the trouble got to her, that was a bad sign.
“Good luck,” she said to the three scavengers. “I’ll be right here when you get back.”
Matthew felt like he was saying goodbye to his mother before a deployment all over again. He didn’t need those memories right now.
“We’ll be back soon,” he said. “Stay safe.”
When he opened the door, Matthew felt like he was in a war zone again. The sun temporarily blinded him, sending fresh waves of fear through his body. But there was never a good time to go into battle. He just had to do what he was called upon to do. That sense of duty never left him.
14
The air was too hot in Matthew’s lungs, making it feel like there was no oxygen going in. A thin layer of dust covered his skin, penetrating his mouth, nose, and eyes with every gust of wind. He had been warned that the weather would not be anything like he was used to at home. He knew this, but there was no way to prepare oneself before stepping out into the harsh desert.
The fact that it was his first tour of duty made it all the worse. He wasn’t homesick quite yet, as everything was new and distracting, but he felt a smidgen of dread in the bottom of his stomach the second he stepped on the plane. That sensation never went away.
Matthew looked to the more experienced in his platoon, men and women who had been deployed before. Everyone else seemed to be doing fine. Sure, people complained about the food, the toilets, and the climate, but that didn’t stop them from talking and joking in their downtime. Matthew could hardly open his mouth to speak for fear he would become sick from nerves.
Before he had time to settle into camp, they got word that a neighboring platoon was targeted by rebels and that they needed backup. Matthew was sent into action, completely oblivious as to what he was supposed to do. He had received sufficient training, but so much of that was done on simulators. It didn’t seem real then. In the middle of real action, his mind went blank.
Thankfully, the risk was removed before they even arrived at the other platoon’s camp. Matthew breathed a deep sigh of relief when the call came over the radio that they could return. He felt unprepared for what he was going into and wasn’t sure if he could do what was required of him.
A fellow soldier took notice. This was her third deployment and she had been in some very intense situations. She must have smelled the fear on him like a wild animal. On the way back to camp, she clapped a hand to his shoulder, causing him to nearly jump out of his seat.
“Listen,” she said softly so the other soldiers wouldn’t hear, “I know this is scary, but you’ve got to be tough for everyone else. If the enemy senses a weakness, then everyone will go down. Even if you aren’t sure of yourself, you’ve got to at least pretend that you’ve got it going on. Eventually, you’ll start to believe it.”
Matthew carried that information with him the rest of his tour. The first time they saw real action, he remembered the soldier’s words and pretended like he had a clue what he was doing. He was terrified, but he was able to think rationally enough to get out of there alive. That was good enough for him.
The familiar uneasy feeling came back to Matthew’s stomach as he walked out of the high-rise. During his last trip, he felt strong because Ellie and Genevieve depended on him. Now, he was supposed to be leading two acquaintances whom he didn’t take seriously. But he didn’t get to choose his soldiers. He steadied himself and walked with swagger, trying to trick himself into feeling confident enough to pull it off again.
He looked to the other two to reassure them that they would be fine, only to realize they were completely relaxed. Lucas twirled his bat around in his hand, not unlike a superstar baseball player walking up to home plate. He was light on his feet, constantly scanning his surroundings for any sign of trouble.
Pip’s facial expression was what Matthew could only describe as a game face. She still had her signature smirk on her face. Pip appeared calm and brimming with confidence, her axe riding on her shoulder. They didn’t need a pep talk. They were ready to go.
It took just thirty seconds for the dormant zombies to catch a whiff of the crew. Matthew was filled with dread, looking for a way to outrun them or sneak up on them. He hesitated for a moment, letting Pip and Lucas pass him.
With the handle of the axe gripped firmly in her slender hands, Pip took a swing at a bulky zombie, partially decapitating it with one blow. Once it fell to the ground, she took another hack at it, cleanly severing the head from the body.
Matthew couldn’t help but be impressed. He was worried about her being able to lift the axe, let alone destroy a zombie in two blows. He felt sheepish for doubting her but also strangely invigorated by her prowess. Finally, Matthew felt pumped up and ready to go.
Before Matthew could get into the action, Lucas swept forward and knocked two zombies down in one go. They toppled to the ground and slowly got back up, just for Lucas the knock them down again for good. Matthew was impressed. Where did these people learn to fight?
Not wanting to be the weak link, Matthew sprang right into the melee, swinging wildly at any creature that came within a foot of his bat. Zombies toppled like dominos, creating a pile on the street, not far from the Jeep.
The trio fought for a few minutes before they realized that there were no zombies left to fight. This wasn’t something that Matthew was used to. So far, his style was to beat back as many attackers as he could before running to a safe place. However, he had yet to partner up with anyone who could fight like Lucas and Pip.
“Yeah, I guess we are.” Pip smiled as she wiped zombie blood from her cheek. “You want to take back what you said earlier?”
Matthew looked at the ground. “You two are badasses and I’m sorry I doubted you.”
“That’s what I like to hear.” She grinned. Lucas was equally chipper. They seemed to get a rush out of their job.
With the first challenge out of the way, they walked to the corner store to gather supplies. Matthew was still wary of hidden zombies, but Lucas and Pip acted as if they were taking a normal trip to the grocery store.
“Dude, how did you get that badass scar?” Lucas asked Matthew, looking at the jagged pink line on his face.
“Which one?” he responded wearily, knowing exactly what Lucas was asking about.
“Uh, the big one,” he said.
Matthew really didn’t want to talk about it, especially at that moment. He didn’t mind talking about his personal life if he trusted the person he was speaking to. He seemed to freeze up when people pried into his personal life just for gossip. But something had come over Matthew since he’d left the building. He suddenly didn’t care what people thought about him.
“I got scratched,” he said plainly, preoccupied by another potential attack.
“Scratched? By whom—Wolverine?” He laughed.
“A zombie,” Matthew said.
“Come on, dude,” Lucas scoffed. “If something weird happened that you’re embarrassed about, you don’t have to tell me.”
“I’m being serious. I got scratched in an attack.”
“How long ago?” Pip asked, stopping dead in her tracks.
“It’s been over a month now. The scar still looks pretty bad.”
“That’s just not possible,” Pip said. “You would be a zombie right now.”
“You can’t turn from a scratch,” Matthew said matter-of-factly. “You have to be bitten for the disease to transfer.”
“Did that thing bleed when you were scratched?” Lucas asked, raising his eyebrow.