" I'm so sorry, Sebastian," Raelynn murmured.
" I just...I can't believe she's dead," Sebastian rasped. " I spent 8 years of my life with her. I may not have loved her like I used to but I didn't want her to die. It's my fault she's dead..."
" Oh no...don't you dare think like that. She's the one who chose to come and see you. You didn't ask her to come to the shop. You had no idea what was going to happen. There is no way you can blame yourself for her death," Raelynn said, running her hand across the back of his shoulders.
Sebastian shook his head and shoved his hands through his damp blonde hair. He laced his fingers together at the back of his head as he dropped it down to hang between his forearms.
" Do you want me to call your brother?" Raelynn asked gently.
" Yes," Sebastian whispered.
" Okay," Raelynn said and stood.
She paced into the kitchen and pulled out her phone. Pulling up Henry Beck's number, she hit the call button then put the phone to her ear. It rang 4 times before he picked up.
" Hello?" Henry's deep raspy voice answered.
" Henry, this is Detective Reynolds," Raelynn replied.
" Oh, hey Detective. What's going on?” Henry asked lightly.
" Listen, I don't want you to freak out okay?" Raelynn said.
" How do you expect me not to freak out now that you said that?" Henry asked dryly.
" Sorry. I'll just get right to it then...Sebastian was attacked while at work today..."
" Jesus Christ! Is he okay?!" Henry practically shouted into the phone.
" Yes. Physically he's fine. Emotionally...I'm not so sure," she sighed.
" What the hell happened?" Henry asked, sounding worried and angry at the same time.
Raelynn gave him the CliffsNotes version, which had Henry cursing up a storm. He then said he'd be right over and hung up on her. Raelynn went back over to Sebastian and sat down. She didn't know what to do for him. He was rocking slightly. She guessed that was his way of trying to comfort himself.
About a half hour later, Sebastian's door opened and Henry and an older woman walked in. Henry apparently had a key. Raelynn had been rubbing his back when they walked in. She turned and looked over the back of the couch. Henry gave her a tight smile and a nod while the older woman gave her a curious look.
" Thanks Detective," Henry said as she stood and moved to shake his hand.
" No problem," Raelynn nodded.
Henry gave her a grateful look then went to his brother's side, putting an arm around his shoulders. Raelynn turned to the older woman. " Hi, I'm Detective Reynolds," she said, holding out her hand.
The other woman took it and held it in both of hers. " I'm Anne Beck, Sebastian's mother."
" Mrs. Beck, it's very nice to meet you," Raelynn said, genuinely pleased that she was here. Sebastian needed all the support he could get right now.
" You too, dear. My, you are beautiful," she said almost in awe as she looked over Raelynn.
Raelynn blushed. " Thank you, ma'am."
" Please, call me Anne," she said, patting Raelynn's hand.
" Then I insist you call me Raelynn."
" You got it," Anne smiled.
" I'm gonna get out of your hair...let you two spend time with Sebastian," Raelynn said quietly.
Anne nodded and let her hand go. Raelynn started for the door and just as she was about to grab the knob, Sebastian grabbed her arm and swung her around. Her yelp was cut off by his lips crushing hers. She sucked in a sharp breath through her nose and clutched his shirt. He pulled back slowly, littering her mouth with small pecks from corner to corner.
" Thank you for being there for me today," he whispered against her lips.
" Anytime," Raelynn breathed.
Sebastian stepped back and Raelynn caught the amused look both Henry and his mother were wearing. Raelynn bit back the urge to stick out her tongue at them. She opened the door and stepped into the hall. She gave Sebastian a small smile before heading towards the elevator. Her heart was pounding from that last kiss. She wanted to kick herself for caring about him as much as she did. She knew it would only end in heartache.
Quinn stared unseeing down at the blueprints in front of him. All he could think about was Sebastian and what he went through yesterday. Henry had called him this morning to let him know. It was unbelievable. Quinn couldn't even imagine what Sebastian was feeling right now. Henry had said he was completely out of it and that he was going to be taking him to see his therapist today. How much could a man take? Surely Sebastian was at his limit. He'd killed three people now. Yeah, they deserved it, but Sebastian wasn't a killer. His mind didn't work that way.
Quinn had noticed a change in Sebastian after the first incident. He was quieter. It kinda freaked Quinn out because Sebastian was not in any way a quiet person. He was boisterous and loud. He liked to fuck with people. He liked to make people laugh. Quinn had seen that person when they were at the bar last week. It had made him smile and he had hoped Sebastian was starting to return to normal. Then this had to happen. Quinn hoped he hadn't lost his crazy brother forever.
" Quinn, are you okay?" Margot's sweet french accented voice asked softly.
Quinn's eyes snapped up to hers. " Huh? Yeah, I'm fine," he said, clearing his throat.
" You have been staring for quite some time," Margot pointed out, her pretty hazel eyes searching his.
Quinn just looked at her, his face blank. He wasn't going to tell her anything. He didn't know her. They weren't friends. He didn't share his personal business with just anyone. Quinn had a bit of a trust issue. It took a long time for people to gain his trust. He'd been screwed over one too many times in the past and he refused to let that happen ever again.
Margot sighed and went back to what she was doing at her desk. Peter had insisted that Margot share Quinn's office since they were working on this project together. Quinn was seriously pissed off about that. His private space was being encroached on and it made him seriously irritable and twitchy. Not only was it not quiet like he liked it but Margot was annoyingly outgoing. She talked a lot. Even if she knew he wasn't listening, she talked to him anyway. Quinn was going to have to kill Peter for this.
Quinn tried to go back to his work. A minute passed before Margot started humming and tapping her pencil. Quinn tried to ignore it. He gritted his teeth and tried to focus on what he was supposed to be doing. But all he could hear was her.
Tap-tap-tap-tap-tap...
" Margot, please!" Quinn snapped, slamming his hand on his drafting table.
Margot jumped and looked up at him wide-eyed. " What?!" she asked, not knowing what he was talking about.
" Can you please be quiet?! I can't concentrate with you tapping and humming!"
Margot frowned. " It is too quiet in here."
" I like it that way!" Quinn huffed.
" But..."
" But nothing. This is my office and I want quiet," Quinn barked.
What the hell was she doing to him? He'd never disliked a woman like this. She just grated on his nerves. She was bringing out a side of him that he didn't even know existed. He was usually calm and collected, rarely getting irritated or angry. But this woman had him practically yelling at her. What the hell?
Margot's eyes narrowed on him before looking back down at her work and mumbling something in French. Quinn took a couple deep breaths to calm himself. He needed to get himself under control. This was not him. He was the quiet, keep to himself guy. Not a man who explodes when someone irritates him. But in the few days that Margot has worked in his office, his stoic demeanor has been steadily deteriorating. He didn't like it one bit.
A cell phone rang. It wasn't Quinn ringtone. He glanced over to see Margot pull her cell out of her purse and answer it. In french. Just fucking great! Margot's face lit up and she smiled. Then she started spouting off in rapid french. She spoke very animatedly, gesturing with her hand even though the person she was talking to couldn't see her. Quinn glared
at her.
After a couple minutes, Quinn realized that it was going to be a long call. So instead of sitting there brooding, he decided to get the hell out of there. He shoved off his stool, slammed his pencil onto the ledge of the table and stormed out of there. He caught Margot's amused look as she watched him leave. No doubt she was talking about him with whoever she was talking to. Quinn felt the sudden urge to scream, but he swallowed it. Damn her! Quinn got a few quizzical looks from fellow co-workers as he stomped down the hallway. He needed air. He pushed through the office doors and out to the lobby where the elevators were. He'd take a long lunch and maybe by the time he got back, he'd be calm and Margot would be done with her phone call.
Chapter 7
Sebastian hated funerals. He hated wearing a suit. He hated all the crying and wailing. He hated everything about them. But he had to go. It was Victoria's funeral. His family insisted on going with him. Every single one of them. Henry and Claire. His parents. Even Quinn and Christian. He was touched. And glad that they were there for him when he needed them. And he was glad that he hadn't had to ask for the support he so desperately needed and couldn't find the voice to ask for.
After the viewing and mass, everyone headed to the cemetery. Standing there, beside her grave, Sebastian found it hard to breath. His mother was holding his right hand while Claire clung to his left arm. Henry - who was next to Claire - had his hand on Sebastian's shoulder. He and his family stood on one side of the grave, while her family stood on the other side. Her mother couldn't even stand. She was sitting in a folding chair, clutching Victoria's favorite stuffed rabbit that she had kept on their bed when they were together. She never went anywhere without it. So when they went to her hotel room to gather her things, it was there.
After the priest did his thing, they started lowing the casket. Sebastian felt like his heart was being ripped out all over again. His throat closed and his eyes stung. He couldn't hold back the ragged sob that tore out of him. He clapped his left hand over his mouth and squeezed his eyes shut. He had loved Victoria with all his heart at one time and nothing prepared him for seeing her body being lowered into the ground.
His mother's arms wrapped around his waist and he instinctively hugged her to him. His father gripped his right shoulder and gave him a reassuring squeeze. Henry was doing the same on his other side. Sebastian wished Raelynn was here with him right now. He could really use her comfort right about now.
When all was said and done, Sebastian and his family left the cemetery. He wasn't going to go to the luncheon. He couldn't sit there with her family and their accusatory glares. He knew they thought that her death was his fault. That much was obvious. He had gone to Jared the day after her death and every day for the past three days and was slowly understanding that it really wasn't his fault. But he would never get her family to understand that.
Sebastian walked into his apartment. Henry had dropped him off after he said he just wanted to be alone. He yanked the knot of his tie and pulled it over his head. After tossing it on the counter he worked open the buttons of the stiff white collar. He shrugged out of his jacket and hung it over the back of a stool. Sebastian went to the bottom cabinet of the island that he used as a liquor cabinet and pulled out the unopened bottle of Jack Daniels.
Foregoing a glass, Sebastian took the bottle into the living room and sat in his brown leather recliner. He planned on drinking himself stupid. He wanted to forget everything for one night. He needed to if he wanted to keep his sanity. He needed to sleep without dreaming. He had woken up with more nightmares in the past few days then he has in his entire 33 years of life. And it was the kind of nightmares that had him screaming and panting and sweating. Then he'd be awake for hours, afraid to fall back to sleep. Jared said he had PTSD. No surprise there.
About 3/4 through the bottle, Sebastian was feeling nice and numb. His mind was blissfully blank...although the room was swaying beneath him. He was actually surprised that he hadn't passed the fuck out yet. That was coming soon though, he could feel it. He needed to make a call before he passed out though. He struggled to get his phone out of his pocket. When he finally did, he found the number he wanted and hit the call button.
His mother answered on the 2nd ring. " Sebastian? Is everything alright?" she asked, concerned.
" I'm smashed," Sebastian slurred. " I just wanted to tell you something before I pass out."
" Okay honey, what it is?" Anne said gently.
" I've forgiven you. I don't wanna fight with you anymore." Sebastian murmured.
" I don't want to fight with you either, Sebastian," Anne croaked.
" I'm glad you've changed for the better, Mom. I like you much better this way."
" You know something, Sebastian...I like me better this way too," his mom said. He could hear the smile in her voice.
Sebastian smiled and closed his eyes because they were becoming just too damn heavy to keep open. " Love you, Mom. I gotta go."
" I love you too, sweetheart," Anne said softly.
They said goodbye and Sebastian just let the phone drop into his lap. Blackness took over and Sebastian welcomed it.
Raelynn banged for the millionth time on Sebastian's apartment door. She knew his was there. She could hear him snoring on the other side. She hadn't talked to or seen him in a few days and she wanted to make sure he was okay. Plus, Jared had called her and asked her to check on him because he didn't show up for his appointment today and wasn't answering his phone.
Bang-bang-bang.
Raelynn heard Sebastian groan.
Bang-bang-bang.
" Sebastian! Open the door!" Raelynn called.
" I'm coming, dammit! Keep your panties on!" He yelled back.
Raelynn heard him grumble something else and then slow, heavy footsteps started towards the door. A moment later the lock clicked and the door opened. Raelynn gasped at Sebastian's disheveled appearance. He was in a pair of wrinkled black dress pants and a rumpled white button down dress shirt. The top two buttons of the shirt were undone and one side of the bottom was untucked. His blonde hair was a mess and his jaw was covered in heavy scruff. His eyes were barely open and he reeked of alcohol.
" Jesus, are you okay?" Raelynn asked, walking in and shutting the door behind her.
" Never fucking better," Sebastian grunted and shuffled over to the brown leather recliner in his living room.
He flopped down into it and pulled the lever back so that his feet were up. He still had his shoes on. He must have gone to his ex-wife's funeral yesterday. Shit. How much had he had to drink last night? Raelynn got her answer when she moved into the living room and saw a practically empty bottle of Jack in the floor next to the recliner.
Raelynn picked up the bottle. " How much was in here when you started?" she asked, holding it up and tilting it slightly as she looked at the little bit left in it.
Sebastian cracked one green eye open to look at her. " It was brand spankin' new, baby," he grinned lazily.
" You're still drunk, aren't you?" Raelynn asked dryly.
" Possibly," Sebastian shrugged and closed his eye. " I could have possibly still been asleep too if you hadn't come bangin' on my fucking door."
" Sebastian, it's 4:30 in the afternoon. I figured you’d be awake," Raelynn replied, rolling her eyes.
" You figured wrong," he pointed out.
" Jared called me. You missed your appointment today. He was worried," Raelynn said.
" Ah, shiiit," Sebastian groaned. " Alright, I'll call him in a few minutes. In the meantime why don't you get naked and come ride me," Sebastian smiled and glanced up at her with his glassy green eyes.
Raelynn barked out a laugh at the out of no where comment. " You're crazy," Raelynn chuckled.
" You already knew that, sweet cheeks," he said with a devilish smirk.
Raelynn shook her head. " Why don't you go get a shower before you stink up your whole apartment"
" Only if you come with me."
" Forget it,
Sebastian - not gonna happen."
" You know you want me," Sebastian said, wagging his eyebrows at her.
" Oh my God, I'm leaving," Raelynn groaned and started for the door.
Sebastian laughed. " Aw...don't leave, baby. I was just joking."
Raelynn turned around. " Behave yourself or I'm out of here."
Sebastian pouted and blinked innocently up at her. Raelynn fought not to smile but it wasn't really working. Damn him. Raelynn gave him a bored look before walking into the kitchen to make a pot of coffee. Sebastian chuckled low and put his recliner upright. Raelynn heard him groan as he stood up. Then she heard him shuffling toward the hallway that led to his bathroom.
Sebastian (The Beck Brothers #2) Page 7