by Petrova, Em
If he didn’t know her past, he would have thought her excuses a bit lame. He knew trust did not come easily to her.
“Josselyn, you are so lovely.” He laid his hand on her cheek. “Sometimes you need to take a chance, to let your guard down.”
“I have. I’ve let you into my life. I trust you.”
His heart panged. He did not want to hurt this woman, but when the lawyers and the courts convened, he was going to do just that. The trust she had in him would shatter, and they would return to being bitter enemies.
He surprised himself by saying, “I trust you, too, Josselyn.” She simply nodded, so he continued. “All I’m trying to say is my friends are good people. Let them into your life. You might just be pleasantly surprised.”
“Oh, I have. I told Patrick I would work a few hours a week at his practice. I can take some of the pressure off him by giving immunizations, drawing blood, taking weights and blood pressures. All the little stuff he’s doing now.”
Ben shook his head. “I feel for the guy, really I do—pregnant wife, too many patients—but I wish he would let up with the hard sell. I don’t know if I want to be a partner in his practice.” My dad’s old practice. “I might just want to return back to the city, back to my hematology practice.”
She frowned. “You’re not leaving, are you?”
Maybe she did care after all. He shrugged. “I don’t know. I came to Unity because I didn’t know who I was or what I wanted anymore. Another man owns my dad’s practice, a practice he built from scratch, and he just wants me to step in like it’s nothing. I do have feelings. I don’t think Patrick realizes that.”
“That’s just it, Ben. Patrick doesn’t realize your feelings. The poor guy is drowning, and he sees you as a lifeline. Maybe it wouldn’t be bad to be a friend, to help him out for a few weeks. If things get too uncomfortable, you can always walk away.”
“You don’t understand, Joss. Back in the city, things happened. Really, really bad things happened that shattered my confidence. I don’t want to discuss it with Patrick, but if I went to work at the practice—his practice—I’ll have to tell him. It wouldn’t be fair if I didn’t.”
Josselyn’s gaze on his face remained unchanged. Just how much did she know about what happened in the city? If she knew, had his father known as well?
An unwelcome blush crept up his neck and settled on his face. He had to know. “Do you know what I’m talking about?” He forced the words out through his suddenly dry throat.
“I know of your problem. Something to with a stolen prescription pad, wasn’t it?”
All he wanted at that moment was to jump out of the itty-bitty rowboat, swim back to shore, jump in his car, and never look back again.
“Damn,” he mumbled under his breath. “What about my dad? Did he know?” He really didn’t want to hear her response. He already knew the answer and averted his face.
She took his hand into hers. “Look at me, Ben,” she commanded.
He removed his sunglasses and lifted his eyes. He could oblige her that much.
“You may not know it, but your father was your biggest supporter. He never wavered in his belief in you. He loved you more than you can ever imagine.” She squeezed his hand. “I have no reason to lie or mislead you. During those last months of Morgan’s life, I probably got to know him better than almost anyone. A few minutes ago, you told me you trust me. Now I’m asking you to believe me.”
He closed his eyes. “I really didn’t want either of you to know anything about that. It was a black, horrible time in my life. I just want it to be over, but I guess it never will be. It’s going to hang over me like a storm cloud for the rest of my career.”
“You don’t really believe that, do you? I don’t. You’re not the only doctor to have dealt with a malpractice allegation. You were cleared. Whether you want to believe it or not, it is really over.”
He sighed deeply. How he wanted to believe her.
“Ben, would you tell me what happened?” she asked.
“I really don’t want to relive it. You are right; it’s over.”
“I want to understand it. I want to understand you. Isn’t that what you told me when you asked me to tell you about my past? If we want our friendship to continue to grow, and I know I do, we have to both be willing to share our pasts, even if it does hurt. You have to know whatever you tell me will be held in strictest confidence.” She crossed her fingers over her heart.
She was right. He asked her to bare her soul to him and even though it caused her enormous pain, she told him about her past. He needed to do the same for her as well.
He rowed the boat further from the shore while he contemplated where to begin. Finally, he chose to just let it flow from his heart. “There was this patient—a sixteen-year-old girl. She was diagnosed with Leukemia a few years earlier and was out of remission. I started her on a standard chemotherapy regime. I had no reason to believe she wouldn’t go back into remission.
“Anyway, one day I get a visit from two Mount Pleasant detectives. They tell me this girl overdosed on a heavy duty sedative I prescribed, but she survived. I don’t prescribe sedatives for my patients, so I knew it had to be a mistake. They took a photocopy of my driver’s license and my medical license, asked for a few handwriting samples, and went away. I figured that was the end of it all.”
“But it wasn’t, was it?” Josselyn asked softly.
“No, it was just the start of a whole sordid period in my life. A few days later, I was called into the precinct. I didn’t even bother to call my attorney because it was all so ludicrous I figured it was just a very big mix up. That time, the detectives conceded I hadn’t actually written the prescription, but insisted I gave her the blank prescription pad to write her own. An assisted suicide, so to speak.”
“That’s absolute rubbish. No detective could be so impossibly stupid to believe such nonsense.”
He smiled thinly. His meek little Josselyn certainly had strong opinions. “Well, you would think so, but the detectives continued to press on. They started telling me I could face all kinds of charges including several felonies, and I better start talking.”
“All huff and puff. Scare tactics.”
“Exactly. I called my attorney, and he advised me not to speak with anyone.”
“Afterward, the girl’s mother telephoned not only the state board of medical licensure, but she got the media involved as well. All of a sudden blow-dried tabloid reporters started to come out of the woodwork. I was harassed at my office, and at my home. I couldn’t walk to my car in peace. My fiancée was followed home from work. My colleagues were harassed; my office staff was harassed. It was a living nightmare.”
Josselyn shook her head. “That’s horrible.”
She broke their intense eye contact. Was she not on his side anymore, or was it the mention of his fiancée? He suspected it was the latter. Did she think he was in Unity kissing her, while he had a woman in the city somewhere waiting to marry him?
“I’m not engaged any longer, Josselyn. That’s all over,” he said to assure her, rubbing her knee. “Well, the mother hired a fleet of attorneys, including a big name malpractice attorney to go after me, my practice, my savings, and my reputation—my life. She splashed her story all over the newspapers and television news, crying on cue and telling anyone with a pen or a camera how betrayed she and her daughter felt, and how my negligence destroyed their lives.
My secretary came to me all sheepish and teary eyed. I thought she was going to quit, that she couldn’t stand the pressure, but she told me she had stored an old prescription pad in her desk drawer and it had disappeared. She was afraid she’d lose her job if she told anyone it was missing. That bit of information, coupled with the fact I hadn’t written a prescription by hand in over two years—I have a software program that allows me to generate and print my prescriptions by computer so there are no mistakes—was convincing. The pads were more or less obsolete.
The police inve
stigated my prescribing techniques back for three years and realized I was telling the truth. They changed tactics and went after the girl. They fingerprinted the desk and lifted her prints from the drawer. She broke pretty quick afterward and admitted she stole the pad when my receptionist left her desk to help a patient to a taxi.
The state board of medical licensure closed their investigation without incident. The mother’s fleet of attorneys jumped ship when they realized there was no case and no money to be made.”
“Were there criminal charges brought against the girl? Did you civilly sue the mother and daughter?”
“The police charged the daughter with making false statements. I believe her public defender plea bargained, and she received court-ordered counseling and rehab. I didn’t take any civil action. It was all too sad or something. I just wanted it all to be over.”
“Thank you for telling me. It really is sad. I’m sorry you had to go through all that. I can understand why you needed to get away from the city and reconnect with your home.”
“You know if I was ever going to euthanize anyone, it would have been Meaghan, not some strung-out little junkie. I thought about it,” he admitted. “I had access to all kinds of drugs both at the university and at my father’s practice. I could have very easily mixed something into her bottle and fed her. She would have peacefully gone to sleep, and no one would have been the wiser. But I knew in here,” he said pointing to his heart, “I couldn’t do it.”
No disgust or even discomfort shown from her eyes, only a gentle understanding he knew was genuine. At that moment, he wanted to say, I love you, Josselyn.
He cleared his throat. “Well, you can probably understand why I don’t want to get into any of this mess with Patrick.”
“Of course I understand. Legally, you don’t need to tell him anything. You were never charged with any wrong-doing.”
“I know, but I wouldn’t feel right not telling him the complete truth. It’s his medical practice, and his reputation on the line.”
“Then tell him, Ben. Patrick is a good guy. He’ll understand. If he doesn’t, he’s not worth having as a friend or a partner.”
He had to admit what Josselyn said made perfect sense. He did nothing wrong, which was proven. He was a dedicated physician who made his patients quality of life better. He had nothing to be ashamed of or sorry for. “Thank you for listening and not judging me.”
“I’m not that kind of woman. I don’t have a judgmental bone in my body. Besides, you know I’m the daughter of criminals. That’s pretty horrible.”
“I happen to think you are an inspiration in being able to overcome all of the challenges life has thrown at you.”
“I think that’s the sweetest thing you’ve ever said to me.”
“You know, I do have to admit when things looked their absolute bleakest, all of the people I trusted the most baled on me. My friends stopped returning my phone calls, and when my colleagues passed me in a hall, they wouldn’t make eye contact. Worse, the person who meant the world to me told me she couldn’t deal with the stress.”
“Your fiancée’?”
“Yes, she didn’t even have the decency to look me in the eye when she said it. She broke our engagement by phone.”
“That must have been extremely painful.”
“Maybe it was all just too much for her to take.”
“No, when you love someone, you take the bad with the good. You don’t abandon someone when they need you the most. You see, that’s the difference between your fiancée and me.”
“What’s that?”
“If it had been me instead of her, I would have held your hand and never left your side.”
The degree of vehemence in her voice left no doubt her sincerity. If Josselyn had been in his life during his dark period of time, it would have made his days and nights far less torturous knowing she believed in him unconditionally.
Leaning over, he pressed a kiss against her cheek, as he did so the boat rocked, and she clutched his arms. He took the opportunity to capture her lips with his own.
He lifted his lips from hers only long enough to search her eyes. “I have to tell you, I love you.”
“I love you, too.”
Everything at that moment was perfect. The past was over. Only right now really matters. “I want to make love to you.” His words came out in a hoarse whisper.
She grabbed him by the collar and pulled him closer. “Before I say yes, and I will say yes, admit you were in my bedroom the night I fell. Tell me you let me believe it was a ghost.”
“It was me. I was already crazy for you then.”
The look coming from her eyes said it all. She didn’t speak; instead, she vaulted herself onto his lap causing the boat to rock dangerously. Even in his heady state, he knew he couldn’t love her there like he wanted.
“Home, Josselyn…we need to get home…now.”
Chapter Nine
The following afternoon, Josselyn accompanied Ben to visit Patrick Leighton at his office. As they walked together along the sidewalk, he was grateful for Josselyn beside him holding his hand in a quiet sense of reassurance. He loved this woman; she loved him.
His apprehension wasn’t solely based on his intention to tell Patrick about the whole prescription pad fiasco. His discomfort also stemmed from facing his father’s former medical practice again. Standing before the glass door of the single story building, his stomach churned at the thought of his father not being there waiting for him. Inhaling deeply, he gave Josselyn’s hand a squeeze.
“Okay, I’m ready.”
Stepping inside, the first thing he noticed was the air-conditioning, a definite plus. The waiting room’s décor had been modernized. The once ocean blue walls were a sunny yellow with framed potted plant drawings, colored and donated to the practice by the children of the local elementary school. Instead of the old mismatched chairs he remembered, matching padded chairs sat around the room, and the once carpeted floor was now tiled. Racks of brochures on various ailments and treatments, as well as current magazines covered the table tops. Everything looked comfortable and inviting for the patients. He felt welcomed.
After introducing Josselyn and himself to the receptionist, she slipped away from her desk to let Patrick know they had arrived. He appeared from his office almost immediately with a warm smile, dressed casually in jeans, a button down shirt, and loafers. Ben wasn’t sure if Patrick’s casual attire was the way he dressed every day, or if he donned a suit and tie when he saw patients. Back at his apartment in the city was an entire closet of hand tailored suits just going to waste.
“Thank you so much to the both of you for coming in today.” Patrick showed them into his office and offered them a seat.
A lump formed in Ben’s throat when he walked into his father’s office, and he swallowed hard. The office, too, had been redecorated.
While his father had been content with four white walls and a metal desk, Patrick’s office was wood paneled. An expansive oak desk dominated the room, complete with photographs of his wedding, and several little frames containing ultrasound photographs of his unborn twins at their various stages of development. Expensive artwork adorned the walls. Medical reference books filled a massive book case from floor to ceiling.
“I was thinking if everything works out, and I can convince you to become my partner, I’ll have a decorator come in and turn that big room down the hall, where your dad stored supplies, into your office. My gift of appreciation and friendship to you.”
Ben’s head spun with all the changes made to the building, and Patrick already planned an office for him. It was best to say something before Patrick got too carried away.
“Patrick, I’m really grateful for everything you’re offering, but...” He paused, knowing it was the moment he had to tell Patrick everything, but instead, he said, “I still have a share in a practice in Mount Pleasant I would have to sell if I were to become your partner. For me to even consider it, it would hav
e to be a fifty-percent stake.”
Patrick folded his hands in front of him. “Of course, I wouldn’t expect someone of your experience to come in as any less than my equal partner.”
That was easier than he expected and putting off the inevitable was pointless. “Patrick, I really need to discuss something serious with you.”
Josselyn moved her chair closer to his and took his hand. He lifted her hand to his lips and pressed a kiss against her soft skin. How he loved this woman!
“Sure, tell me what’s on your mind,” Patrick said with an easy smile.
Ben retold the story he only recently shared with Josselyn. To his surprise, it came out much easier the second time.
When he was finished, Patrick sat back in his big leather chair. “Wow, you really got put through the wringer!” he exclaimed.
That was the understatement of the year. Ben kept the thought to himself.
“A few years back,” Patrick began, “my father performed emergency surgery on a woman with a very large lesion in her brain. The surgery was successful and saved her life, but left her with a limited loss of movement on her left side. After she was discharged from the hospital, she sued the entire practice—including me—and I never had any contact whatsoever with her.
She claimed she suffered both physical impairment and emotional distress as a result of the surgery. Apparently, her husband was too shallow to accept his wife’s small impairment and divorced her. My father saved this woman’s life, and that was the thanks he got—getting slammed with a malpractice lawsuit.”
Ben shook his head, now realizing his situation wasn’t so unique from a lot of other competent doctors.
“The end result was the suit was dismissed without further incident. Much like your case. I chalked it all up to a grieving patient. As medical professionals we can only understand a limited amount of what the patient and family are really experiencing both physically and emotionally. Occasionally, this grief leads to a once rational person striking out at someone. Doctors are the most convenient targets. I understand a little better because I’m a Leukemia survivor myself.”